Call me BatKandi

Times change; feelings won't

[batkandi]

Exactly one year ago from this exact time, this is how the new babies were cuddling with me. They're far too big to do this now, but I still can't believe it's already been a year since we adopted Crunch and Persephone. 🧡🤎

[batkandi]

Jake was blankets and pillows. Comfort and home.

Chloe was burgers and cereal milk. Demons and snuggles.

Crunch is fire crackers and 4 am wakeup calls. Face rubs and bouncy balls.

Persephone is pompoms and strings. Spoons and medicine.

[rylandsgrace]

Ryan Coogler explained in an interview that Remmick was partially inspired by the character Death in Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022), noting both his eyes and demeanor.

[weirdcatlive]

[vardapilled]

"No miseries worth complainin' about."

WUNMI MOSAKU as ANNIE SINNERS (2025) dir. Ryan Coogler

[manny-jacinto]

ROMEO + JULIET (1996) + IMDb Trivia

[movie-gifs]

Addams Family Values (1993) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

[batkandi]

I hate that you gave me abandonment issues.

Because, really, who fucking does that to someone they love or once loved? Even if we weren't in a good place anymore, we were once friends at least. Would you treat a friend that way?

What kind of dick bag walks out on a relationship and just ghosts that person? We were living together. Then April 1st rolls around and you go silent. You quit coming home. I had to get our mutual friend to at least get you to pick up your shit. And then I forgive you, we talk again, we fall in love again, you move back in again...

And do it again. Same day, just a year later. And that's *so fucked up*. April rolls around and it doesn't matter that it's been over 10 years. I have a panic attack. I question if the person *I married* is going to do it too.

And now, he's thousands of miles away, and not answering his texts. He's with family, so I'm sure they're just all catching up. Or he fell asleep, he did travel a lot today.

And my mind is telling me he's leaving me. He's not coming home. His sister will just end up texting me to send his stuff in the mail. He hates me he hates me he hates me.

I'm crying when I should be sleeping. Normal people just miss the other person. I feel empty without him. I'm trying to calm myself, not overreact. Don't do something hasty, he'll answer you in the morning or when he checks his phone before bed.

But what if he doesn't. What if it happens again. What if he leaves me. Because how could anyone actually love me? How could anyone choose me? I'm so undeserving, you showed me that. What if---

Oh. He texted. He loves me, he misses me, he wished me a good night. My brain will settle for now. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

[stormwaterwitch]

Maybe its the Witch in me, but a little part of me always wants it to be Raining

[batkandi]

Today marks one year with Chloe. Beans.

So today, I leave a little milk in my cereal bowl for her.

I'll eat a KT burger and save some for her.

I'll snuggle her urn.

I'll cry until it feels like my grief has emptied out, only to start saving it up for next year.

[batkandi]

Tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of losing Chloe. And it's like the clock is ticking down to my own Doomsday. I'm anxious, trying not to cry, I'm going through bouts of being short of breath.

I'm nervous. I'm afraid. I can't believe I've woken up 364 days without my soulmate in four legged form. I miss her and Jake every day.

[batkandi]

So much has happened, randomly, since I was last here.

We brought home two new kittens from the humane society. We went in for just one (previously Skittles, now known as Persephone) and she was curled up with another cat. When they were separated, they were both so upset. We got 5 mins out of town and turned around for her friend (Captain Crunch, now just Crunch).

I love them both so so much. They could never take Jake and Chloe's places. But in so many ways, they're just like them. I'm starting to believe they're literally reincarnated.

Crunch ended up being my cat, he's my little goofy lover boy. Persy is definitely Matt's. She just melts in his arms.

I did get Chloe's paw print tattoo, finally, about a week ago. In bright blue, like her eyes. Now her and Jake are always with me. My body has been forever marked by them, but now everyone can see where.

[girlballs-archive]

*trying to call a woman beautiful but i've forgotten how to engage other humans in conversation* girl, you remind me of architecture

[keplercryptids]

i don't "date" and i don't "chill" and i don't "hang out." i make pacts. i swear oaths. i forge unbreakable bonds. this makes me a cool breezy person to take on road trips et cetera

[no-more-dead-dogs]

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

[batkandi]

I really don't know how to keep going without Jake and Chloe.

[batkandi]

I think, knowing I'm about to lose Chloe just a little under 5 months after losing Jake, is making me spiral. I've had her for 13 years, him for almost 14, and I.... It's the end of an era. And I'm afraid to let go.

Things are so different than when I first got her. Sasha was still around, dickhead and Kyle were still living with us. And she was so small. And I was so in love with her from the first time I held her.

And she grew up to be so beautiful and had such a loving and silly personality. She was a scavenger, even though she never had a bowl without food in it. She would fight you for your last piece of chicken. She once ate the cheese off of half a pizza.

She would headbutt your nose, digging hers into the sides of yours. She used to lick my eyelid when I was trying to sleep and she wanted to snuggle. Her sweet little meow grew into a smoker's meow.

I love my Beans. My Tiny. My Demon. And my heart is breaking in two thinking of life without her.