Bruceman @batsbruce - Tumblr Blog

“CAN WE GET A MAINTENANCE GUY DOWN HERE? I don’t think fluorescent bulbs cast that much shadow.”

#reblogging this again to go with the other post

You’re so right on the batkids not wanting to share Bruce’s attention with never mind actually wanting a “parent.” But man post Selina altar shit fest I imagine their hackles raise whenever Bruce gets a little too invested in a potential romantic partner. That’s their Bruce?? Back off???

It's not even "back off" it's Dick organizing a family meeting, throwing down the person's file, and saying "yeah, we're not doing this again" and everyone around the table (including Alfred) nods in silent agreement.

#man also dick and Alfred would be really aware of how quickly and deeply in love Bruce falls #he falls in love very hard and very fast and it’s always gutted him in the end #depending on the version of talia you go with #selina was the only one who made it to the altar alive except well she fucking refused because she thinks Bruce is meant to be unhappy #and isn’t that the most cruel thing she could have done #no one is going to risk Bruce getting hurt like that again #every time he does it gets worse and he gets more fractured #but Bruce is a man who’s built around love and it’s also heartbreaking to stop him #Bruce

frownyalfred

Bruce can and will lurk in any and all JL group comms, Batfamily “siblings only” encrypted chats, and even the rudimentary chat function YJ came up with on a bunch of old flip phones, and while his aura alone is enough to keep people nervous, nothing brings a conversation to a screeching halt quite like Batman dropping a singular 👀 into the chat.

javieyau

In a random group chat

Kon: so anyway look at tim

Kon: hear me out

Bruce: 👀

Kon: goes offline

#okay but you see the thing is: Bruce is an information gatherer #he’s a lurker #he wants to watch you dig your own grave #he’s here letting you allot yourself all the rope you need to hang your self with #what I’m saying is that he lets kon wax rhapsodic about whatever aspect of tim for however long until the guy gets it all out #and only at the end does Batman drop the eyes emoji in the group chat #he’ll be there in the next chat too whether you know it or not and he’ll be there long after you’ve forgotten #the eyes emoji secondary function is to make everyone flashback to every single thing they’ve said in the group chat that apparently Batman #was reading #sometimes he and Barbara will send screenshots to one another privately for greatest hits during slow nights

frownyalfred

something I don’t think is explored enough in canon AND fic is how every single Bat, but especially Batman himself, would absolutely give anyone with formal military training heart palpitations if they saw them in action. oh you can fly a plane? you’re used to sophisticated combat? WHERE ARE YOUR VERBAL COMMANDS? how are you preventing friendly fire? what is the chain of command? why are you ignoring air traffic control in downtown airspace—

bsmr261

limnaia

Random military guy, seconds away from losing his shit: "WHERE ARE YOUR VERBAL COMMANDS?"

Batman: *examining a crime scene with his kids, grunts*

Red Robin: *cocks head an inch to the left, then leaves the rooftop to take care of a mugging*

Batman: *turns his head a fraction to look at Spoiler*

Spoiler: *midway through wrapping a lucky knife graze on her leg, holds up bandage*

Batman: *softer grunt, turns head another fraction to look at Black Bat*

Black Bat: *thumbs up, falls backwards off the roof edge to go help Red Robin*

Military guy: what the fuck

Batman: *produces small flashlight from pocket, points it at evidence nearby*

Robin: -tt- *begins bagging the evidence*

Batman: *flicks flashlight at a wall 30m away*

Nightwing: on it, B! *stops walking on his hands and goes to get the surveillance footage*

Red Hood, who has been slowly prowling in circles around the crime scene, with his guns out, seemingly ignoring everyone: *heavy sigh through the modulator*

Batman: *ignores*

Hood: *hesitates on a step*

Batman: *spins round, looking for the enemy*

Hood: *waves him off, recognising the person five roofs away as Huntress*

Batman: *returns to scene with a grunt*

Random military guy: VERBAL-

Robin: Do you really need your orders spelled out for you? Mother ensured I grew out of that by the time I was five.

Random military guy: wha-

Robin: You've not even been following the conversation we've all been having, have you? Civilians are so rude.

Random military guy: Who are you calling a civilian?!

Red Hood: This is Gotham. Who are *you* calling a civilian, army boy?

Random military guy: I am never letting myself be talked into vigilante-wrangling again. The Lanterns were fine, but not in Gotham. Never again.

Hood: S'what I thought. Relax, new guy, we'll have you out of city limits by dawn and you can go back to your cushy job on base.

Random military guy: Cushy, are you ki-

Spoiler: You get paid, my man. That's automatically cushy.

Batman: *wounded grunt*

Spoiler: No, you cannot just pay for my apartment. I will steal your credit cards and do it myself, like a grown up.

Batman: *hums*

Robin: You realise you just told him that he's indirectly paying your rent and he's going to be skipping around the cave now.

Spoiler: *finishing wrapping the bandage* Gotta throw him a bone sometimes.

Spoiler: Especially because I think this knife may have been poisoned.

Batman: *abandons crime scene, scoops Spoiler up and leaps off the roof to the Batmobile in less than five seconds*

Random military guy: Insane. You are all insane.

Nightwing, reappearing: You're just getting that, now? That's rough, buddy.

#this is the doc anders art with Batman grunting and the bat kids going from regular lighting to dramatic black and white saying Understood #while the jl gets weird xD #sometimes you’re nonverbal and sometimes you’re raised by a guy who’s actually crazy expressive but only if you pay attention #they were having a conversation!!!#batclan

incorrectbatfam

Dick was the last to be adopted, Jason became the black sheep post-resurrection, Tim made himself Robin, Damian was dropped in Gotham after ten years of being kept secret, Cass possesses killer instincts that run counter to Batman's philosophy, Duke is a meta whose parents are still alive (albeit jokerized), and Steph has zero legal connections to the Waynes. All of the batkids have reason to believe they're the only one Bruce doesn't want around and Bruce is unaware of the problem because they don't vocalize it not just out of the usual emotional constipation, but also a deep-seated fear of being proven right. In this essay, I will—

#mmhmm go on

frownyalfred

I know that the appeal of the Brucie Wayne identity is shameless incompetence covering up extreme hypercompetence, but another interesting aspect of Bruce's in-between persona (not quite public, but not Batman, explicitly) are the large/significant changes he makes and has to go to great lengths to keep subtle or easily dismissed by the public. Reducing something massive and complex to what amounts to a "happy accident" or forgettable coincidence on paper.

Examples:

Buying the Kent Farm. He couldn't buy the house outright, it would draw far too much attention and link his and Clark's identies, even with several steps in between. So Bruce bought the bank, then the Farm.

In Batman Begins, he buys certain gear in bulk to avoid suspicion. He gets thousands/millions of cowl prototype bases because buying ten would be strange.

All of the journalistic manuvering. It's very look here, don't look there. It's artistic. It's sleight of hand with the media. "Brucie falls into a fountain the same night Batman needs to take a night off" no, even better. Bruce, as Brucie, captures attention in a way that doesn't let you even realize that you should be paying attention to something else. He isn't taking away your attention. He has it, and that's the point.

The painstaking and painful steps he takes to fund and oversee the Justice League while maintaining credible distance. The fact that he's able to spin it as CSR without anyone putting the pieces together is impressive.

Tech/behaviors he employs to ensure the government thinks Batman is a low-level vigilante with limited access to complex resources.

Doubling up missions/priorities for events. If he can get intel and a a JL target out of a stuffy Gotham event, he can and will. And on the other side, doubling up patrol/investigations as Batman to benefit Bruce Wayne. None of that intel is a coincidence. Keeping those two lives completely separate only harms him in the long run.

#Brucie as a ditz is only fun to a degree with me #I liked the older canon where bruce Wayne’s greatest tragedy to the discerning eye was that he was actually really intelligent and #well meaning #just extremely unfocused with inane tendencies #I also like to think that bruce doesn’t completely hide his competence from his business associates #sometimes it’s good for him to be able to threaten them #just seeing the tip of the iceberg of the steps and gymnastics he’s willing to do to get shit done is terrifying #though as always the people who notice write it off as his miraculous ability to hire exactly the right people for the job #and weirdly loyal people too #bruce #Bruce meta

notyournoma

#I’ll cry this is too cute #dick

hood-ex

Nightwing (Vol. 4) #137

#dick: yeah you too #bruce and dick

frownyalfred

Bruce Wayne is best viewed through the lens of “holy shit your parents were genuinely so hot, insanely charismatic, wild, and hot and do whatever the fuck they want, and then they combined their DNA??????? they made one person out of that??” because then you truly understand he’s just Like That.

it’s not even that he’s doomed to be the main character. he’s just the product of two stars collapsing into each other while also fucking the butler along the way. that man was never going to have a normal life.

#hot Bruce Wayne agenda