( * & . — WILL & GRACE SENTENCE STARTERS .
‘ because that’s the way the story of the gay guy and the straight girl is always told , isn’t it ? he broke her heart . poor her . but you were just being you . ’
‘ bury it deep inside you and just cry in the shower like a normal person . ’
‘ can i take you to my therapist ? because he thinks i’m making you up . ’
‘ halloween just happens to be the one day out of the year that makes the other 364 days bearable . ’
‘ he doesn’t like madonna . ’
‘ hey , we could go out and have life experiences of our own then get together later and discuss them . you know , like the people on tv do . ’
‘ i don’t want to be an adult anymore . it’s very hard ! ’
‘ i get it , universe . i’m garbage . ’
‘ i hate it when bad guys are handsome . it’s like scar in lion king . ’
‘ i just want somebody who gets me . somebody who’s comfortable in my world and makes me laugh and occasionally brings me flowers . and … somebody who likes kittens . and the hardcore bondage scene . ’
‘ i knew you could either be a guy i dated for awhile or be a friend for life , but not both . ’
‘ i know you can’t turn someone gay , you can only make them wish they were . ’
‘ i know you heard all that . so come on out , laugh in my face . ’
‘ i need you to have my back and agree with everything i say . it’s your one job . ’
‘ i was distracted because your shirt has been open all night . ’
‘ if i was better at thinking of devastating things in the moment i would destroy you right now ! but they always come out ten minutes too late . ’
‘ if we’re not with anybody when we’re old , let’s meet in the middle of the brooklyn bridge you and me , and have somebody push us off . ’
‘ i’m a lady , assface . ’
‘ i’m going to take the high road . and not just because i’m high . ’
‘ i’m sorry i said that … you’re in love with me . i know that’s not true . ’
‘ i’ve always said that if your genitals are on the outside , you’re hiding something on the inside . ’
‘ i’ve kissed her more times than i can count and every single time i felt something . ’
‘ let me get out my umbrella . sounds like the forecast calls for hurtful comments . ’
‘ look at me , i’m a freakin’ bombshell . ’
‘ look at you , you little hottie . ’
‘ most human beings are endowed with the capacity to feel human emotion . they’re weak . ’
‘ my constant fear of death has infused my lovemaking with a sense of panic that has really upped my game . ’
‘ no heterosexual man has ever sat this way . ’
‘ oh , look ! my ride’s here and it’s a huff ! believe i’ll leave in it . ’
‘ oh my god , i hate myself . wait a minute , why go there ? it’s negative . i hate him . ’
‘ oh , honey . i’ve got a fake laugh with your name all over it . ’
‘ okay , shush , i’m talking . ’
‘ once i’ve taken my bra off it’s all over . no way i’m strapping that thing back on again . ’
‘ one of the good things about being single is you learn how to get through a crisis alone . ’
‘ people die . i might die . even worse , i might get old . ’
‘ psst . i’d like you to eat me . ’
‘ really , when i give you advice i’m just talking out of my ass . ’
‘ sorry i’m late . but i got here as soon as i wanted to . ’
‘ the point is , this place can’t fix you – because you’re not broken . ’
‘ they’re young and hot , we’re old and not . nothing else matters . ’
‘ wait a minute , what’s wrong ? wine , tissues , charcoal facial masks … all we need is a box of donuts and it’s a comfort kit . ’
‘ we are not having a threeway again . ’
‘ we can sit in the back row and every time straight people kiss , we hiss . ’
‘ what is the problem ? it was just a kiss . ’
‘ which lever do i pull to be crushed by a safe ? ’
‘ why does anyone go to any doctor ? fear and pills . ’
‘ why is flaky such a bad quality in a date , but such a good quality in a crust ? ’
‘ you are exactly who you’re supposed to be . ’
‘ you brought liquor into a movie theater ? that’s so classy . ’
‘ you can’t trust people you met on the internet . i went on a date with this guy i met online and he seemed really nice . but at the end of the evening ? i stole $200 from his wallet . ’
‘ you don’t understand , it was a really good kiss . ’
‘ you just kinda split yourself into two people to get through it . the person it happened to and the one who gets through the day . ’
‘ you’re a tigress ! girl , you sure know how to put a smile in a lady’s pants . ’
‘ you’re an awful human being . and i’ll always be here for you . ’
‘ you’re honest , you’ve got no agenda , you’re not manipulative … it’s like you’re talking in code . ’
‘ you’ve never felt too gross for sex ? ’