just thought i’d share some moments from the jonathan/steve/billy fic i’ve been working on
When they finally reach Steve’s table Jonathan just stands there, shoulders hunched, tense, fidgeting with the tray in his hands and looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here. Steve watches as Nancy nudges him with her shoulder and gives him a look.
“Um, hi.” Jonathan mumbles, making brief eye contact and then looking down at the floor. Steve shakes his head and laughs a little to himself at the thought of Nancy dragging this poor kid to the cafeteria and Jonathan following along like a helpless little puppy—remembering that not too long ago that was him.
“Hey man.”
Jonathan gives him a nervous smile.
Steve doesn’t know how much time passes but it feels like a hundred years go by of them sitting in silence. Until, it occurs to Steve that he’s going to have take control of the conversation if he wants to get Jonathan to talk. “Oh god tell me you didn’t Nance.” Steve says, and Nancy purses her lips.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“God, I can see it written all over his face.” Steve throws a hand up, snorts out a laugh, shakes his head, eyeing Jonathan as he ups his antics, who seems to be enjoying it. “The Nancy talked me to death about how much she loves school and filling out college applications look.”
Nancy punches him in the arm. “Ow!” And Steve bites his cheek to keep from grinning.
“You’re right Nancy. Steve’s quite the gentleman.” Jonathan says, smiling, and it’s a lot less forced. Steve figures it’s a win.
--
“Billy.” Nancy says, her tone dipping a bit, but she’s not looking at Billy.
Steve follows her gaze to see Jonathan sipping a juice box. Oh, right. He had been so caught up in Billy that he had almost completely forgotten that it wasn’t just the three of them at the table. He wonders what Jonathan thinks of it all.
Billy plops down next to him, knocks his knee into Steve’s.
Steve turns, looks right into Billy’s grinning face. He lets his eyes linger on him before turning his attention back to Nancy, who just shrugs. There’s no noticeable injuries on his face. But that could mean something way more serious. Either Billy’s putting on one hell of an act or they’re just overreacting.
And Steve wants so badly to say something. But maybe Billy really is fine. So, he decides to let it go.
It isn’t too hard. Because when he feels a warm, firm hand on his thigh his brain forgets all previous thoughts.
Sometimes when Billy’s feeling bold
, which has been happening more and more often, he’ll be overly handsy in public. He’ll show up to class without a pen or pencil and when Steve hands him his he’ll let his fingers brush his a few moments longer than the exchange calls for. He’ll bump shoulders, sling an arm around Steve’s neck, whisper something into Steve’s ear whenever they’re in the hallway. Knock him down in practice just so he has an excuse to touch him. Or, like right now, he’ll put his hand on Steve’s thigh while they’re sitting in the cafeteria, talking to Nancy. But this. This is different. Billy’s hand moves further up his leg till it’s mere inches away from Steve’s crotch, his eyes fixed solely on Jonathan. “Alright. Alright. Who’s the kid?”
--
“Great. Because as much as I like hanging out with the princesses, they can be a bit of a snooze fest.”
Steve snorts, flicks Billy in the shoulder. “Are you saying we’re boring?”
“Aww. Did I upset the ex king?” He asks, voice pitched high.
Before Steve can answer, come up with some witty comeback, Billy’s fingers brush over Steve’s crotch and Steve jerks forward in his seat. “F-uck you,” Steve says through gritted teeth, and Billy slaps him on the back and laughs.
--
Steve raises his fist. But when he meets Billy’s eye he freezes. There’s a brightness to them like they’re saying Come on pretty boy. I’m practically begging for it.
He lowers his hand, rolls off Billy. “This is stupid,” Steve says, staring up at the darkness. He feels Billy chuckle and it makes him sick. That’s the only reaction he gets, though. So he continues to stare into the pitch black sky. Lets himself get lost in it. And for a while it works. He starts to forget. About Jonathan. About Billy. Instead, he focuses on everything else around him. The damp dirt beneath his palms. Leaves rustling in the wind. The unpleasant sounds the insects make. The low rumble of his car. The list goes on and on.
There’s a piercing scream. Not humanlike. Something much more frightening.
For a second Steve doesn’t think anything of it. But then he’s reminded of Jonathan. Of how he’s out there alone. Drunk.
He pushes himself off the ground, realizes Billy’s no longer there. Instead, he’s leaning against his own car, lighting up a cigarette. Maybe he’s still waiting for him to make the first move. But Steve’s not about to cave in.
--
Steve realizes he must look like some creepy stalker —that if Jonathan were to turn around and see him standing there, he’d probably freak out—and slowly begins to inch closer. And whatever stealthily ninja skills he thought he had going on decides to fail him in that moment because the next thing he knows he’s tripping over his own two feet, bumping into Jonathan, knocking some photographs out of his hand. “Shit! Sorry.” Steve says, dropping down to pick up the pictures that are now scattered across the dusty floor. Smooth Steve. Real smooth. Jonathan drops down as well and when Steve fingers reach out, curl around the edges of the last picture, they touch Jonathan’s lightly. Jonathan pulls his hand back so fast, like it’s been burned and Steve tries to not let himself feel a bit hurt.
Steve gets up. Wipes at the dirt on his pant leg. “Sorry man.” He says again. Then, looks at the stack of pictures in his hand. He knows he shouldn’t. Some of these pictures are most likely moments that he’d like to keep private. But curiosity gets the better of him. The firsts one’s of Will in some wizard costume. The costume’s way too big for him, practically swimming in it, but his bright, bright smile is enough for Steve to understand why he decided to capture that moment. The next one is Nancy at her locker. “These are pretty good.”
“Aren’t you- You’re not supposed to be here.” Jonathan says, looking more annoyed than anything as he snatches the pictures from his hand.
“I’m not supposed to be here or you don’t want me here,” Steve says, crosses his arms over his chest, wiggles his brows.
--
Steve’s used to Billy checking in when he’s like this. Knows Steve just needs something warm. Something solid. Something real.
He hears the sound of a lighter, sees the flame flicker as Billy lights his cigarette. Steve looks at him then. The lazy grin on his face, like he knows Steve’s about to give them the riot act for smoking in the house, grin widening even more as a puff of smoke hits Steve in the face and Steve hates it that Billy still looks sexy while blowing smoke in his face. But he does.
“Come on Harrington. Don’t play dumb. I saw the way you looked at him too.”
“That wasn’t part of the deal.” Steve shrugs.
“Oh, so now you’re all about sticking to the deal.”
Billy breathes in deep, grabs at his necklace and pulls. He’ll do that a lot. The first time Steve noticed, he didn’t think anything of it. But then he did it again. And again. And again. And Steve finally caught on. Though, he doesn’t know exactly why Billy does it, except that it seems to calm him down so he never questions it.
But there’s so much he just doesn’t know. Like why he’s never seen Billy without the necklace on. Even when they’re in the showers after practice he’ll spot it dangling from his neck. It’s like it’s permanently glued to his skin.
--
“Are you alright? Billy. If you’re really hurt I have to know.”
He inches forward once again, albeit rather slowly, giving Billy time to stop him. Its when his hand is mere inches away from making contact with Billy’s shirt that Billy finally reaches out and grabs his wrist. “Just fuckin drive already Johnny boy.” Billy says through clenched teeth, eyes locked on Jonathan’s. Jonathan feels an uneasiness take over his body at the emptiness of those blue eyes, like hope doesn’t even exist in Billy’s world, but he also sees the pleading behind them. Jonathan starts to move then but Billy’s grip doesn’t loosen. They stay like that for awhile. Billy’s labored breath filling the silence.
Eventually Billy lets go and Jonathan looks him over once more before shutting the door, hurrying over to the driver’s side and peeling out of the parking lot. The Clash’s Should I Stay or Should I Go is on full blast and Jonathan turns the knob down, thinking Billy will make some snarky comment about how he has shitty taste, but when he casts a glance over at Billy, he’s leaning his head against the glass, a bit hunched in on himself.
They’ve been driving for a good fifteen minutes- more than half way to Jonathan’s house- and Billy hasn’t uttered a word since he told Jonathan to just drive. Jonathan’s pretty sure they passed Billy’s house.
And it’s like Billy can read his mind because he hears him shift in his seat and then Billy says, “Not gonna ask wha happen?”
Jonathan figures it’s a good time to pull over.
--
Steve waits until hears a door slam shut to look back at Jonathan. “You have every right to slam the door in my face but hear me out. We can go out there. Find there’s nothing that dangerous. It was just an abnormally large dog.” Jonathan raises his brow at him but Steve ignores him. “And we can celebrate.”
“Cause that went so well last time.” Jonathan huffs out a laugh, and Steve grimaces, but then Steve just shrugs, offering half a smile. “Fine.” Jonathan sighs, rubbing his hand down over his face. “But on one condition.” Steve squints over at him. “I choose the music.”
“Deal.”
“You’re taking the kids to the arcade this weekend?” Jonathan asks, and Steve nods, a smile spreading over his face.
“They’re more like brats than anything. Sometimes Nancy would be running late because she was having problems with Holly or something, so I’d offer to take Mike home. Next thing I know I’m driving all the brats around. Kind of just stuck with it, you know. You can come if you want. Usually just hang around or listen to music in my car. Sometimes I play a few rounds with Dustin but then he’s throwing me out because I totally kick his ass.”
Jonathan snorts out a laugh. “Sure.”
“Oh.” Steve deflates. But then he whips his head around so fast that Jonathan thinks he looks like a cartoon character. “Oh! Great!”
He thinks briefly of Billy and his tired eyes and his labored breath. Of his smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. He hadn’t seen much of Billy at school. And with Steve being here, he wasn’t sure if Billy and Steve were back on good terms. “Will Billy be there?” he asks, more curious than anything.
“Don’t worry about it.” Steve says, but something in Steve’s face says otherwise.
--
“My brother took that on our first day of school. Though I realize now he’s not the best photographer.”
“Maybe I can show him.” The words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop them. And Jonathan really wishes he hadn’t said anything because Nancy’s eyes light up, her whole body practically shaking with excitement.
“You’re a photographer!?”
And Jonathan shrugs It’s my life. Like this isn’t the only thing that’s keeping him sane. That all the pictures he has stored away in a ratty box underneath his bed mean nothing.
“You should come work for us at the school newspaper. The photographer we have now is great and all but he’s been out sick for the past two weeks. And homecoming week is coming up soon. So, we’re kind of in dire need of a new photographer. What’d you say?”
He wants so badly to say yes. But there’s still that doubt. That fear. That the other students won’t be as welcoming as Nancy. They’ll tease. And poke fun until Jonathan has no other choice but to quit.
