I just really want to dig someone and have them dig me back.
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
NASA
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Cosmic Funnies
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Sade Olutola
Claire Keane

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cherry valley forever
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
hello vonnie

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d e v o n

JVL

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@bay-bewiththepower
I just really want to dig someone and have them dig me back.
I love what I do for a living now.
If you’re not happy with what you are doing with most your time in your day. Make changes.
Some word I jotted down while walking home from an amazing and much needed massage.
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BREAKING UP WITH MY PHONE
I've been doing some thinking and I think it's time to take back my energy. Take my energy back from my phone, and social media.
I need to take my life back because it feels like it's ruining my life. It's disrupting my work. It's disrupting my love for adventure. Because instead of going out and experiencing things on my own. I am just settling for “watching”.
If I take my life back from social media, I'll have time to focus on the things I enjoy, which includes music, going and seeing shows. It includes photography. If I don't have social media distracting me. I can organize my existing photos.
I can focus on making great photographs. If I take my energy back from social media, I can travel. How's that? Because I'll spend less time stressing worrying about work and more time traveling.
If I'm not on social media. I'll be finishing up more work and assignments that will remove the stress that I'm having of not completing enough and on time. If I'm not stressed about completing assignments on time. I’ll feel comfortable enough to take more weekend trips, and travel the world.
I could be reading books. I could be learning more about myself, improve my mental health through education and increased self love. I could research travel destinations and learn about other cultures, current events and how I can be an asset to this world...
If I'm not distracting myself with social media, maybe I can feel comfortable dating again. How so? One of my insecurities about dating is that I don't feel comfortable my own skin. I worry that someone will not like me for my appearance which is mainly a source of my low confidence. If take my energy back from social media I’ll have more to give to walking/ hiking/ fun exercise. I’ll have more time to give to cooking healthier meals.
How can I help myself? By giving myself the time. Where's my time being wasted? On social media.
If I make time to eat better to eat healthy meals my body will thank me.
Why is it that I’m spending my weekends watching other peoples lives digitally versus going out with exploring/ making stories for myself?
If I'm not wasting my time on social media. I'll have more energy. If I have more energy. Maybe I'll have more bandwidth to communicate my feelings, emotions, with loved ones.
Communicate with loved ones, through social media. I'll have phone conversations with text conversations with them, where I actually talk to them, versus just being stressed because I'm working.
Why is online presence so important? What are the benefits? What does it do for me?
Social media, getting likes videos is just another way for society to tell you they accept you.
A person should be totally okay with liking/ accepting themselves versus asking for other approval.
If I’m not wasting my time on social media. I'll have more time to love and accept myself. I'll give myself space, information, positivity, and the brain food that makes me truly think about myself, my life and my place in this world. I get information through stories, books, articles that tells me I’m going to be okay.
How to overcome my anxieties, what are the causes of my anxieties. Why am I stressed. What causes the reason why I'm stressed? What does it all go back to and why. Feed, my brain with positivity, things that will help, my energy will thank me.
Why is journaling so important? How does it factor in here? If I write down my ideas, my feelings, my aspirations, my dreams- It will Allow me to reflect on my past and my present. It will speak my dreams into existence. How do I journal more? Carry my journal with me. By transferring my phone journals, into my book, because that's one of my checklist, speaking of checklists… I have so many checklists. Then I feel the pressure that I haven’t accomplished anything.
Accomplishing.
If I finish my checklist I’ll be more free. Why do I feel trapped? Because I have been given the mentality that I'm not doing enough. I can be doing more. What's the point, of spending so much time on social media. Social media really does not have any purpose, it’s only consuming me.
Removing social media from my life-- If I'm not wasting my energy in social media I'll have more time and energy to explore. If I have time and energy to explore my city, my surroundings, the different neighborhoods. I’ll have more chances, and opportunity to come across people that are meant to be in my life, to find people that share the same passions. I’ll have more opportunity to meet others I'm supposed to cross paths with. Maybe I won't have to rifle through dating apps to meet someone. Maybe they're out there waiting for me to bump into them.
If I give myself more time to cook, more time to make healthier meals. I'll have more time to find the healthy meals that tastes good. If I take the time to make healthier tastier meals. I won't have to count calories because there won't be that many bad carbohydrates and chemicals in the meals. If there's no chemicals and less processed ingredients in my meals, the food will be healthier. If the food is healthier. My body will burn the energy or that exercise during the day. My body will be able to burn the calories because it’s no longer wasting time, and physical energy, burning fat calories. I give myself the gift of time and space and energy to go into making healthier decisions.
By eating unhealthy meals, not only am I adding calories to my body, but it also dehydrates my mind, makes me more tired. It makes me more sad. If I'm more tired. I don't have energy to put into my work. If I don't have energy to put into my work. I'll stress about work. If I'm stressing about work. I won't go out and adventure. If I don't go out and adventure, then I don't experience life. If I don’t create more experiences I judged myself for not doing it. If I'm living in doubt, and guilt and negative energy. I'm basking in it. And I'm not spending enough time loving myself, admiring my body, admiring my experiences.
If I spend more time out in public. I'll be more comfortable. If I’m more comfortable in being in other people's presence, that will make me more confident. If I'm feeling more confident.
Maybe I'll look at people in the face and in the eyes.
Social media has helped me spend more money as it encourages to purchase. By not purchasing things I don’t need I'm saving money. I'll have more time to spend the night out and about. I won't be rushing, because I have had time to prepare to leave the house instead of running out the door. I’m I’m not running out the door, maybe I can take the bus instead of an uber. If I take a bus instead of an uber. I’m saving money, exercising and exploring on the way.
Something for my journal but I forgot it at home.
I know I can be distant and quiet sometimes but that is because I am going going through seasons of sadness and just want to be alone to figure it out/not dump it on other like a broken record.
I reached out to 5+ people this weekend in attempts to improve and be more available.
Crickets.
I still made effort to do something today.
I looked up event and they were all tickets in groups. No single tickets.
So I instead took myself on a park day.
I was being nostalgic about the time in 2018 when I drove to NY from North Carolina so I decided to look at photos.
Just remembered this one.
I didn’t get sleep for like 48 hours because I was working so much and drove overnight to get into town, but I still wanted to rally (being in NY) so I bar hopped all over town and fell asleep on the subway going back to my Airbnb 😅.
This is a photo from when I woke up and got the subway to go back since I missed my stop. It’s at like 6:30 am.
Lessons learned. I’m alive thankfully.
This is the first time in my adult life that I’m actually decorating my home and it feels good.
The same, but different.
my blog aesthetic doesn’t have a name It’s just me walking around picking up pebbles like “ooh this one’s pretty” “ooh this one’s pretty” “ooh this one’s pretty”
Had another break down at work. This time I told my boss the truth. I feel my enthusiasm and positivity fading at work. I’m not sure if it’s because of my surroundings there or where I am currently in life.
Trying to figure out what direction I’m supposed to head in.
Hah.. I’ve come full circle.
This just reinforces that it’s time for change.
Universe, I’m listening.. what do you have in store for me?
I lost 4 pounds in the past two weeks. From jogging and being a tad more concious of what I eat. This makes me feel good. I’m celebrating by wearing a crop top. For the first time in two years.
Motivated? Who was she?
I always feel like Saturday mornings are the toughest day for me to wake up.
And I think it’s mainly during quarantine.
Because the week goes by so quickly and when I take a mental note of how the week went it just feels unproductive... nothing exciting, nothing new, nothing funny, nothing moving.
And before covid, Fridays were the highlight, something to look forward to, the day that you see your friends or in my case maybe not see friends and I just go out drinking on my  own or go out dancing because I don’t know anyone and my shyness/embarrassment levels are a lot lower.
So now I wake up on Saturday mornings and it takes me forever to get out of bed and by the time I finally have energy it’s halfway through the afternoon and then my guilt kicks in because: I wasn’t productive, again, because I feel like the days wasted, again, because I feel like it’s my fault, again.
So here I am drinking a smoothie at 1 in the afternoon because I don’t want to make a meal and am telling myselfs “well that’s productive, that’s enough”.
Until they believe it.
Low key swooning over an Italian man that made me caprese tomato bread bites in the middle of the night and shaken cold brew in the morning.
Keep calm.
Update: I’m pretty sure I got HPV from this guy.