reka

the shit that goes on in my head and more

[ihateyouvishal]

"I may think of you softly from time to time. But I’ll cut off my hand before I ever reach for you again."

//Arthur Miller, The Crucible: A Play in Four Acts

[girljournal]

{\__/} ⟡ ⋆ 　 。　 ☆

( •ω•) ♡ 𓂃 ⋆ 　 ~ ⟡ 。

/つ💐 here’s some flowers i picked for anyone who is having a bad day, hang in there things will get better

[bby-writer]

Devil in Disguise

Tie me up and lock me away, before I start to mindlessly stray,

From my morals, my integrity, and my big heart,

I’m afraid I’ll be the cause of my soul being ripped apart

I want his love, but I’m too scared to admit, that I’ll get in the way with my stupid bullshit

I’m good af making up lies for the sake of love, hardly ever thinking about His ultimate opinion from above

I’ve played with the devil for far too long, to admit to myself that I’ve ever been wrong

I hate this tiring fight between my heart and my head, my heart wants his affection and my mind wants me dead

Because I’m not worthy of a fulfilling love life, God forbid I’d end up someone’s wife

I’m the devil in disguise, basking in my glory, and here for much more than just sharing my story

I’m here for much more than stealing his heart, I want his soul before mine’s ripped apart

He’d give it to me with no time to waste, because he’s already addicted after one bittersweet taste

I told him I’m capable of breaking his heart, of course he’d believe me, where would I start?

His eyes that plead and beg for me touch back? Or his heart that want the things from me that I lack

I can’t look him in the eyes and tell him I love him

That feeling in me is void much like the God above him

There’s no rest or redemption for my wicked soul, after all I still have the nerve to call myself Gold

No one would ever dare be so bold, to spit at the things they’re often told, not to do in spite of the heartache, but I’m egotistical and my life is at stake

In the end it’s all up to me, to decide who I want and who I’ll be

My demons are telling me everything’s fine, but they’re not the ones walking the line

But I feel as though he knows that I’m lying, about the feelings that I’m constantly denying

I don’t want him in my future, I’m still dwelling on my past

A relationship with him would surely never last

So here’s to my persona of the Devil in Disguise, may her soul be damned for all eternity, wherever it lies

[bby-writer]

Look At You

by SherekaMonique

Look at you, calling me precious and wanting me to be in your life. You may not see it now, but I am in no position to be your wife

Look at you, wanting to make me moan and scream. If only you knew “submissive me” is only realistic in your dreams

I don’t know, there’s something about having that much control. Something about a man looking up at you and doing exactly what they’re told

Is it my witty attitude and my killer smile? That makes you stop and stutter and wait a while

Of course I know why you want me to be yours. It’s because you dream of me fully bare, in front of you on all fours

We both know someone like me could never let that happen. From His romantic gestures, to His romantic rapping

I’ve been too far gone for quite some time, and I don’t feeling like putting my feelings on the line

So look at you, bustling to take my exes’ place. I could laugh every time I see the look on your face

So desperate to have me and hold me in your arms. Thinking “little old me” could never bring you any harm

It’s really cute that you think I could be the one. But, honey, I’m just getting started and I’m only here to have fun

[purplebuddhaquotes]

[bby-writer]

Vow by SherekaMonique

“To have and to hold...” seems so meaningless when you’re so far away. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think of the breathtaking music our bodies could be making. You could make me forget about my most important thoughts with a simple “I love you”. The light in your eyes could eradicate all the darkness that tries to take me over. Your smooth skin could even out my roughest days. I can’t believe you’re all mine. “To have and to hold” doesn’t seem like enough, when your smile makes me want to be as perfect as you think I am. I can’t believe I fell in love again. So hard and so fast.

A million words for my past lover overdue, and now a trillion more words just for you...

[quotemadness]

“rawness is so attractive, because so much is being filtered nowadays.”

— Scottie Waves

[ai-papi-deactivated20201124]

leave me here to die leave me here to rot cause i would rather hurt myself than pretend to be someone im not

[wallflowerbloom]

[books-n-quotes]

“Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.”

— Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story

[bby-writer]

||Sun||

by SherekaMonique

I was made like the sun.

I was made to give life to things seemingly lifeless or beings that have the potential to have life in them.

I was made like the sun.

To soak in heat, light, and power and exert those elements onto the things worthy of my overwhelming characteristics.

I was made to captivate things with my great, unwavering energy like the great sun itself.

To envelop things in my path.

To either give them an endless amount of energy, or engulf them in flames too much to bare.

I am his energy source. I am her energy source.

I am the sun. Giving life and purpose to things worthy & not worthy of my immense power and dangerous beauty.

[bby-writer]

I write a lot, so imma try putting some of my fucked up thoughts and feelings out into the world and hope people can relate 🖤