BootlegFrnk

He/him - 23 - nasty, nasty guy - 18+

[bcbryar]

Intro post

Don't follow me if you are under eighteen.

BootlegFrnk's Commissions

Commissions Open! Click to see BootlegFrnk's commission menu.

I write RPF. I write whatever I want. I don't care about the morality of ships because it's all fiction anyway.

Art and writing requests are always open- just send in an ask- as are commissions- just send me a DM.

I post about whatever I want but predominantly DMMd, MCYTs, MCR & adjacent bands, House MD, Prodigal Son (TV show) and Gravity Falls.

Lots of kinks here, I'm not gonna list them. I have tags now, feel free to ask me to tag something.

Ao3. Redbubble. Pillowfort. Kofi.

Top ships I'm posting abt rn: Gallaghercest, Waycest, Griam, Tubscar.

[bcbryar]

I didn't think I could get drunk on sertraline but I'm sooooo drunk right now I can barely read my screen hahaha I'm so happy

[bcbryar]

My friend fucked my face yesterday while our other friends were asleep in the same tent. They slept through it so luckily I don't have to feel my shame HAHA

[bcbryar]

I really like being ...mute? Is that the word? Idk but it makes me feel comfortable when I get to just throw thumbs-ups and waves and nodding and smiling and pointing instead of having to struggle with human words. I got to do it a bit at work today, because of a language barrier, but I wish I could do it at work all the time. Just get an instruction and nod and be understood.

[bcbryar]

Ah, it's an age regression thing I think. I've been feeling little for the past couple of days now (which is making me a lil worried abt going to my friend's house and then the festival cuz I don't wanna embarrass myself around my friends) and not having to talk allows me to feel little undetected.

[bcbryar]

I really like being ...mute? Is that the word? Idk but it makes me feel comfortable when I get to just throw thumbs-ups and waves and nodding and smiling and pointing instead of having to struggle with human words. I got to do it a bit at work today, because of a language barrier, but I wish I could do it at work all the time. Just get an instruction and nod and be understood.

[bcbryar]

Oh my god I almost sent the Project Hail Mary PDF rip as an internship application instead of the university's folder.

[bcbryar]

Holy shit holy shit holy shit I'm going to my first-ever festival next week! It's in another country, and the only reason I'm able to go is because my friends had a leftover ticket they couldn't sell and they're GIVING ME MONEY so I can afford to go with them. I'm so grateful I feel like crying. I've never felt so loved by friends before in my life. I'm also nervous as shit because I've never gone to a festival before.

[crylandgrace]

It is here, the GraceRocky sideblog so I can ramble everyone's ears off! Some info:

Main blog - @bcbryar

This blog is nsfw. I am a huge pervert so there can be extreme kinks and other disturbing stuff found in my posts. Everything will be tagged accordingly

I have never had a sideblog before, so forgive me if I forget this exists for days on end.

[bcbryar]

Ta-daaaaa

[crylandgrace]

I decided to draw up a profile image for my new sideblog! Make the space blob even more leaky muahaha

[bcbryar]

parental relationship stuff is always weird & its like normal and okay to feel conflicted, and from experiencw having distance from a parent and having it be /your/ choice to talk to them honestly changes so fucking much about it all, but you are allowed to want to have a relationahip even if you feel like you shoulsnt but also youre allowed to not have any relationahip either <3

It's been really weird to grapple with because for years I was genuinely afraid of my mother and couldn't be near her or even be reminded of her. I do think maybe the sertraline is helping (not trying to discredit my own improvement I've been working on, but the difference is big), because I felt a lot more regulated during the family weekend than ever before. It's still uncomfortable for me, because it's clear my mother is (my step-father too) desperately seeking a connecting with me. Telling me I can ask her to go to appointments with me (I have my dad for that), suggesting I join them golfing (I've never played), always suggesting to drive me places (I don't really wanna be alone with them), so it's been difficult to set boundaries and go at my own pace. I did enjoy hanging around my mother this weekend, asking her for help with the stove, talking about the master's degree I wanna pursue, watching her play games with the family, all the stuff that doesn't put pressure on me. I'm also finally coming into my own, starting to be a real adult, learning techniques in therapy, which is definitely helping me find my place in our weird dynamic. I don't know yet if I want to see her outside of family gatherings, without the buffer of her siblings, but I'm trying to not force myself to make any decisions about that stuff until it comes up.

[bcbryar]

Nothing else to do

[bcbryar]

Trying to figure out my feelings is very difficult. My mother hurt me irreparably and I'll be messed up from it forever, but I also like talking to her now. It's easy, she's not mean anymore, and I know how happy it makes her that I'm talking to her. But it feels weird that it feels nice. It feels wrong to find comfort in her again because I know what that got me as a kid...

[bcbryar]

Going on family weekend today through Sunday. Wish me luck. So many people there. Have to sleep in a room with multiple people. None of my usual routines. Have to hide my tattoos and scars. No cigarettes. No laptop. And on top of that it's gonna be heatwave-hot this weekend. Everything about this is torture to me.

[bcbryar]

Just thinking about Rocky and his pet Grace. It's this dynamic he kind of naturally gravitates towards in the period Grace is starving and ill on the ship. It can't take care of its own, it's depressed and hurting and so sad-sounding, the ailments turning it even more stupid, and Rocky can't do anything but dote on it 24/7, his leaky fragile alien. It needs Rocky to tell it what to do and when to do it, it needs Rocky to comfort it, to talk to it, to entertain it. All Rocky needs Grace to do is to stay alive, to be near him, to let him show his affection. Rocky praises his pet all the time, pressing his xenonite ball close so it can feel his warmth, trying to keep Grace comfortable in a state where it doesn't need to use its brain so much, doesn't need to worry, just needs to let Rocky take care of it and the ship, and needs to be told it's a good pet.

[bcbryar]

My therapist got a new job so today we had our last session :( I grew to like her quite a lot. She asked if she could hug me before I left and it was nice. For now they're going to try to get me with another therapist for the same type of therapy, but there's a limited amount of individual sessions they permit so I will have to transfer to group therapy eventually...

[warofsummer]

Pete making Ryan dress like a girl for his own selfish desires. tight nylons, heels, a dress thats too small and shows off his hip bones through the fabric. Ryan who hates being referred to as a girl with teary eyes and red cheeks, wringing his hands together while Pete touches all over his legs, drooling on his thighs. Ryan isn't hard, he isn't into this and never will be. but he'll let Pete take him apart for the sake of the band. let him fuck into him with no lube because "girls don't need it". he'll let the lipstick smudge, the mascara run and when it's all said and done, he'll throw up in the bathroom and text brendon.

[bcbryar]

I feel like I've gotten beyond lucky with the sertraline. I've upped my dose and everything is still so dandy. My dick still works alright, sleeping is not any more annoying than usual, no dry eyes or dry mouth, no headaches or dizziness, and to top it all off it's actually reducing my anxiety symptoms! The only side-effect I have is the tremor, which is really only annoying when I'm handling knives or feeling anxious (and when I was in bed trying to read the PHM e-book and my hand was flailing so wildly I couldn't even attempt to read the screen lol). All my life I fantasised about being on meds that could help me, and now I'm finally here and it's real. I'm so so grateful.