His smile drooped at the edges and his head nodded forward. He had wrapped his arms around his middle as if to keep himself together or something contained in the empty - and strangely throbbing - encasement of his ribs.
  ââS a silly question. âCourse Iâm fine.â Voice buoyant but wavering, he refused to turn around because that would dislodge the thick, blue tears clinging to the ridges of his eye sockets and show just how poorly he was doing of keeping his emotions in check.
  âI toldja aâready so just⌠Quit askinâ, yeah?â
ama could be a pest. sheâd been aware of this around the age of six,
and she learned it had been a trait out of paranoia; one that had to
check, double-check, triple-check, annoy, ensure that everyone was
going to be okay. no one could figure out why.
she knows when people arenât fine, chalking it up to multiple nights
of her mother crying, her fatherâs stoic stare at laptops in his study.
she knows he isnât fine because his voice is tight, cracked in different
places where it would normally be flippant and low, like heâd be telling
a story with you as the hero.
heâs not fine, but sheâs asked too many times to count,
and sheâs afraid of what might happen if she asks again.
she shrinks into herself and carries on behind him, her
eyes staring at the tips of her boots, throat bobbing ungainly
in a thick swallow. â... Nane says that âIâm fineâ is the biggest
lie anyone can tell to themselves âcause they know theyâre
not.â she fiddles with the hem of her jacket, her mouth pulling
into a small frown.
â... but, I-Iâve been thinkinâ, yâknow, about that, and ... Nane says
people say it tâlie to themselves one time fâthe one time, but she donât -
she doesnât - make you feel okay with it, and um, I think thatâs .. important,
you know? I think .. sâpossible to lie to yourself when youâre not fine, but ..
... itâs important and good âcause .. youâre trying to keep yourself stable.â
she pauses, her voice sounding grating to her own ears.
she didnât talk this much, and she knew why.
â.... however, sâalso ... okay to let yourself not be fine too, um .. Nane didnât
say anything about that, either. In fact, nunna my family did; they treat it like
itâs a crime to feel or somethinâ. It isnât. If youâre really hurt, you should ... let
someone help you, and I think ...â
   that you might be really hurt.Â