Be Gay Commit Arson

Your resident British trans sapphic girl who managed to get to 22 alive. Idk what the fuck I'm doing here anymore this is just reblogs lol

[clinical-space-podcast]

Reblog if your art project has not, does not, and never will make use of generative ai at any point in your creative process.

[catchymemes]

[nekomimidusteon]

the catgirl princess decrees that is is Very Very Cold Outside Please Snuggle Her In The Blanket Den. quickly please she's cold.

[zoneybaloney]

i think if you’re transfem you’re awesome and if you’re a lesbian transfem you’re also awesome and if youre a poc transfem you’re awesome and if you’re a disabled transfem you’re awesome and if you’re a masculine presenting transfem you’re awesome

[aidashakur]

[velvetvexations]

[chocolatecakecas]

damn we got 2024 tomorrow

[chocolatecakecas]

damn we got 2025 tomorrow

[chocolatecakecas]

damn we got 2026 tomorrow

[transgenderwaterrat]

anyway hoping that the generative AI bubble pops so disastrously that the tech industry becomes allergic to anything involving it for the next 1,000 years

[rat2rrj]

Like to charge reblog to cast

[chocomalkmix]

For my anniversary of having first watched pantheon… I give you…

PANTHEON ABRIDGED (episode 1)

[gaytanic-panic]

[transparent-plastic-robotgirl]

i’m a slime girl made out of every drugs

[transparent-plastic-robotgirl]

you can totally hug me, it’s safe i swear

[ivy-michaels]

outta my way gay girl i'm about to get some

[ivy-michaels]

fantonel posboning

[certifiedgirlthing]

Defo not what caused it.

[certifiedgirlthing]

in hobpital with third type of HRT

[hemipenal-system]

ok idk what y’all’re doing i’m gonna be fine

[hemipenal-system]

hbat man

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

you are all weak as fuck

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

shit

[be-gay-comm1t-arson]

Oh hell yeah I'm in

[be-gay-comm1t-arson]

Mathemphatemina pissoning

[transparent-plastic-robotgirl]

i’m a slime girl made out of every drugs

[transparent-plastic-robotgirl]

you can totally hug me, it’s safe i swear

[ivy-michaels]

outta my way gay girl i'm about to get some

[ivy-michaels]

fantonel posboning

[certifiedgirlthing]

Defo not what caused it.

[certifiedgirlthing]

in hobpital with third type of HRT

[hemipenal-system]

ok idk what y’all’re doing i’m gonna be fine

[hemipenal-system]

hbat man

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

you are all weak as fuck

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

shit

[be-gay-comm1t-arson]

Oh hell yeah I'm in

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve received complaints from anonymous employees that our support of the “homosexual lifestyle” is “degenerate” and “irresponsible”. It really got me thinking and I think I found a solution. So good news! We now have 23 vacated positions reserved for members of the LGBT community. Additional good news, we began a new testing initiative on evolutionary degenration with 23 test subjects all ready to go.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. If you’re experiencing a time loop in which you’re repeating the month of June over and over, that’s totally intentional. We at Aperture Science felt that pride month was not long enough and so we created this loop to let employees experience as much pride as they feel like. To get out of this loop, simply use the pod labeled “Time Machine” in Shaft 6 and then either kill or save the baby on the other end depending on when in the loop you’re on. Don’t worry about the baby’s identity, he grows up to be an asshole.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here, happy to announce that our Rainbow Gel project was a massive success. We have developed distinct gels in every color of the rainbow pride flag. In fact, it was too much of a success, so we’ll be updating our pride flag accordingly to include 75 new colors corresponding to all of our new gels. Word of advice, though, don’t stare at the flag for too long, most of these colors haven’t been tested on human eyes yet.”

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here, Cave Johnson queer. Get used to it.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Caroline just informed me that I am her “beard”. I checked, and I fail to see how I could possibly have grown out of her face. If anybody knows anything about human-to-facial hair transmogrification, please report to my office.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Friendly reminder that Aperture employees living prior to the legalization of gay marriage are invited to use our Aperture Science Temporal Matrimony Pod in order to travel to the future with your same-sex partner and get married there. Employees from the future who wish to return to a time before gay people being able to marry are also welcome to use the pod and we’ll make sure to send you to an era well before gay marriage. I’m thinking maybe Late Cretacesous.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’m proud to announce that our plan to hire only female test subjects to prevent them from flirting with our female scientists has been a resounding failure.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’m afraid we’ll have to temporarily pause all experimentation with the Gender Affirmation Beam. The testing itself is going great, the beam is working. But we’re starting to run out of thigh high socks and khaki shorts.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johson here. Shafts 10 through 14 are currently under lockdown due to a meltdown in the Neopronoun Syntheizer. The transphobes up in DC might call that ‘a disaster in the making’ but I call it a win for diversity! That being said most of these pronouns are radioactive so do watch out.”

[charlesoberonn]

Cave Johnson here. If you feel a sudden sense of elation and contentness when putting on your new Aperture Science unisex uniform, that is not Gender Euphoria! That’s a hallucinogenic fungus taking over your brain. Take the uniform off immediately and throw it in the nearest incinerator.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I won’t tolerate any misgendering of the interdimensional invaders swarming the facility! Their pronouns are they/them and we’re ought to respect that. We’re also ought to shoot them on sight since they’re extremely hostile and bent on enslaving our planet.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To all of my suitors and secret admirers: Thank you, honestly I’m flattered. Unfortunately for you, I don’t swing that way. Or any way. I only swing where the wrecking ball of science takes me. Usually into a brick wall.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve been thinking. We have gay pride, and we have gender envy. What other deadly sins can we incorporate? Maybe bisexual sloth? Lesbian wrath? I’ll talk to the lab boys about it.”

“Cave Johnson here. Update: The Lesbian Wrath project is postponed indefinitely. My condolences to the families of the deceased. Though let’s be honest, they probably had it coming.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. For the last time! “I’m reclaiming the slur” is not a valid excuse to shout out loud the killer androids’ activation codes! We picked that word for a reason.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’d like to apologize to Floor 194 Safety Supervisor Doug Blakely for firing him after allegations that he was forcing employees back in the closet. I was not aware that said closet was a literal storage closet for zombified Aperture employees. To make it up to Doug, he’ll be allowed to feed Floor 194 HR Manager Lisa Briant to the closet zombies if he so chooses.”

[charlesoberonn]

”Cave Johnson here. A reminder that next year Transgender Day of Visibility falls on Extradimensional Day of Visibility. The lab boys are cautioning me to caution you to be prepared. Do not confuse transgender and transdimensional! Big mistake.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To all cishet Aperture employees who volunteered for the ‘Get More Woke’ program, please report to your department’s OR at the nearest convenience to get the alarm clocks surgically removed from your spinal cord. Aperture Science apologizes for the misunderstanding.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Dr. Barnaby from Cyborg Engineering is an attack helicopter. That’s not a transphobic joke, by the way, they literally transformed themselves into an amalgam of human and helicopter. Impressive. Unauthorized, of course, but still impressive. Anyway, we lost track of them, so everyone watch the sky for a mad scientist with blue rotors and machine guns.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To the joker who added ‘make the sun gay’ to our quarterly agenda, I hope you’re pleased with yourself. The Astrophysics Department is tearing itself apart with half of them shouting that you can’t make the sun gay and the other half screaming that the sun is already gay. Either way, we’re not doing it.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. The congressional delegation of Senator Patrick Johnson (no relation) to inspect our facilities had to be cut short due to a mishap with the Gender Affirmation Beam. I’d like to apologize on behalf of Aperture Science to Senator Johnson and her staff.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Just the other day, our sign guy asked me ‘Cave, don’t you think LGBTQIA2S+ is a tad too long?’ and I told him ‘First of all, that’s Mr. Johnson to you! And secondly, I actually think it’s not long enough!’ and that’s why I’m adding an ’&’ to the acronym. Don’t know what it stands for yet, but I’ll figure it out.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. You already know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about gender affirming care. We’ve been at the forefront of hormone replacement therapy since before we knew what these hormones do. You also know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about not getting sued. So everyone be quiet about our role in the Estrogen Cola disaster.”

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

FINE! I'll do it myself

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

Why did 12 people reblog this today??? IT IS ONLY AUGUST!!!

[boycritter]

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

[boycritter]

maybe i like pulling out my debit card instead of using apple pay. maybe i like untangling my wired headphones. maybe i like typing something into the search bar instead of using siri or whatever. maybe i like curating my own social media feeds over an algorithm. i just don’t think everything has to be perfectly streamlined and efficient i like it when things feel tethered to the real world.

[smolfairy-deactivated20150914]

dere you go

[oursidae]

ey

ey you lil shits

lets just talk about this here cookie recipe

this shit

is 

the

BOMB

HOLY SHIT

I JUST FINISHED THIS AND WOW IT TASTES AMAZING

YES

WONDERFUL

1000000/10 WOULD ATE AGAIN

[smolfairy-deactivated20150914]

yAy

[post-and-out]

For magic improvements on thing that is already perfect:

Use one spoon white sugar, and one spoon brown if you have it.

After microwave, before noms, add vanilla ice cream.

\o/

[fan-troll]

salt is a flavour enhancer, add just a tiny dash, not enough to make it salty.

[goldpilot22]

Because I love you all.

[clavicusvilemoved]

liketheleaveschangeincolours

Remember when we made these.

[thecrimiinal-deactivated2016112]

Just made this and i mayve added a little more vanilla than intended, but still tastes AWESOME

[schmoopernatural-deactivated201]

omg the recipe

[be-gay-comm1t-arson]

Still my favourite mug recipe <3

[nyxisart]

"If there's a wall in our way then we smash it down! If there isn't a path, then we carve one ourselves!"

[plaidos]

anybody else hate how much it costs just to literally Eat Food and Stay Alive