Let's talk about sex!

This is a teen-run blog designed to inform young people about safer sex! I am not an expert but have training in sexuality education and I want to share my knowledge and give people an outlet to ask questions!

[be-safe-be-informed]

Hey, I’m sorry that I haven't been updating recently!  Things have been getting in the way and I got super busy during the school year.  I’ll try to get things started up again soon though!

[be-safe-be-informed]

I seem to have little sensitivity in my vagina or clitoris. When I try to masturbate, I can feel it, but I don't feel good, I feel like I'm as sensitive there as any other place in my body. Is there any way to fix it or am I stuck with no pleasure?

Hi anon!  Thanks for the question!

This is pretty normal for people, and I think especially young people who do not have a lot of experience.  My suggestion is to make sure you are very turned on before trying to masturbate.  It is hard to make yourself turned on just by touching...you have to be in the right mindset.  Of course, if this persists you can always talk to a healthcare provider and they will be able to rule out any conditions.  But I think this is something that a lot of people experience and sometimes just takes practice.

I hope that helps!

[be-safe-be-informed]

Actually in response to the one anon wondering about pregnancy spotting, it does happen in some women, and implantation bleeding (which happens between 3 to 6 days after sex) is actually very common. Almost 25% of women experience that. I'm not sure if that's what the question meant but just a heads up! :)

That’s true!  Thank you for your help!  I didn’t realize it was that common.  Here is a good article for anyone who wants to learn more about implantation bleeding:

http://www.whattoexpect.com/preconception/implantation-bleeding/

[be-safe-be-informed]

hey, I'm a female, and I wanted to ask, is it dangerous to finger myself when I have nailpolish on my fingers? thank you

Hi anon!

As long as the nailpolish is dry, it is safe!

I hope that helps!

[be-safe-be-informed]

Are there any statistics about the average age people lose their virginity? I know virginity is a meaningless social construct but...you know. It's an interesting question

Hi anon!  Thanks for the question!

Like you said, virginity is a meaningless social construct, and of course, the age that people lose their virginity varies widely for different people.  However, according to Reproductive Health Reality Check, the average age of first sex in the United States is 17.  This article might be interesting to you! http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2014/03/25/golden-age-teen-sexual-responsibilty/

I hope that helps!

[be-safe-be-informed]

had sex yesterday and I am hurting very bad. is that normal? also I took my birth control late and we didn't use a condom. he didn't cum inside of me at all but should I be worried about precum?

Hi anon!  Thanks for the question!

It’s possible to have some pain after sex, especially if you didn’t use lube or went particularly hard.  If it is very painful though, I would suggest you see a healthcare provider.  Also there is some risk of pregnancy in that situation but it is not huge.  I would be aware of when your periods starts and if it’s late, get a pregnancy test.

I hope that helps!

[be-safe-be-informed]

I'm a cis-female, and when I masturbate and orgasm, I have very bad abdominal spasms. Is this normal?

Hi anon!  Thanks for the question!

If by abdominal spasms, you mean just muscle clenching without pain, then this is totally normal.  Orgasms can cause uncontrollable muscle spasms.  If there is pain involved, it may signify some underlying issue and I would suggest you talk to a health care provider.

I hope that helps!

[be-safe-be-informed]

Hi. I have a vagina, and when I've tried to masturbate, I can't ever reach my cervix. I am petite and have small hands, but I can just barely touch my cervix with my middle finger. Is this a problem? Or is it just how we're all built differently? And does this affect my fertility?

Hi anon!  Thanks for the question!

This isn’t a problem at all and is actually pretty common!  It does not affect your fertility at all.  Some people just have deeper vaginas and shorter fingers!

I hope that helps!

[be-safe-be-informed]

Hey guys, I'm really sorry I haven't been updating much recently! I have been really busy but I promise I'll get to your questions soon and get some new content up!

[npr]

On TV, Women Who Have Abortions Are Younger, Whiter And Wealthier

An analysis of TV shows finds that fictional characters getting abortions are better off than the average American who has an abortion, and are also less likely to already be raising children.

[blacklightparties]

Asking for personal narratives or stories for a final

I’m making a zine about disabilities, sexual health education, and sexuality. I would love to add some quick narratives for part of the zine, because I want to really personalize the zine and really exemplify interconnected learning, since I want to share this with a lot of people in my major.

1. I’ll be sharing some things I’ve experienced with depression and sexuality.

2. If you think this is asking too much/in the wrong way, etc., please let me know so I can do better.

3. The types of stories I was thinking would be awesome to hear would be anything relating to sexual health/sexuality: reproductive rights (we read an article in my class that this is for about how a woman in a wheelchair was denied birth control), selective abortions, forced abortions, sex ed, anything really.

4. If you would like to share anything, you completely control what is written. It can be anonymous, could just be a sentence, anything. I will be sharing this with my class, my major, and possibly even a larger audience. My teacher will probably use it for future examples. So, it is completely up to you how you would like to share if you so chose to share.

Thank you so much! Even a simple reblog would really help me out.

Also, I am not going to define disability, because I don’t want to box anyone. If you believe you have a disability, I’m not going to tell you otherwise. I just want to listen to all the stories from people who want to share them!

My ask is open for questions, comments, and narratives! Anon is on as well.

[foryoursexualinformation]

In case any of my followers can help out!

[be-safe-be-informed]

This is cool! Help them out!

[be-safe-be-informed]

I've got genital warts and I am currently undergoing treatment for them. I use sex toys for self pleasure a lot and I was just wondering is there any way I could re infect myself by using them if that makes sense? I've been cleaning them with hot water and soap after use. Thanks :)

Hi anon!  Thanks for your question.

I’m going to start this one off by saying I am not totally sure, and you should definitely talk to your doctor about this.  But I did some research and I believe that once you have HPV (the virus that causes genital warts), you can’t cure it and can only treat the symptoms.  Thus, nothing you do will re-infect you.  However, washing with hot water and soap is a good idea, and you can always put a condom on your sex toys before using them to keep them clean.

I hope that helps!

[be-safe-be-informed]

Just an fyi, Naproxen is the generic name for Aleve. It's an NSAID, which is the same drug category as Advil and Ibuprofen. And it would make sense that someone with cramps would be prescribed it, since it reduces pain. Love, a pharmacy student.

Hi!  Thanks so much for letting me know!  I love how much I learn from all of my followers.  Keep up the good work, guys.

[be-safe-be-informed]

Maybe this is going to be a difficult one.. How do you know you are ready to have sex? Talking about both, physical and emotional parts. Thank you in advance

Hi!  Thanks for the question!

You’re right that this will be kind of a hard one.  First of all, there are no physical markers for when you’re ready for sex, so you don’t have to worry about that.  Unfortunately (and probably a bit fortunately too), your body will not tell you when you’re ready for sex.  As for emotional markers though, that can be much more difficult.  I would say if you’re extremely nervous about it, you’re probably not ready.  Of course, some nerves are normal, but if you’re seriously anxious about getting an STI, getting pregnant, what your pubic hair looks like, or anything like that, you should probably hold off until you get those things in check.  You should probably also not have sex until you feel you are ready to deal with the emotional consequences.  If you’re super embarrassed in front of your partner and not comfortable with them, then you might not be ready.  Those are some but certainly not all of the things that might clue you in to the idea that you’re not ready.

Do my followers have any advice for this?  I feel like the experience varies person to person and it might help to get multiple views.

[be-safe-be-informed]

Hi! So I was having sex vaginally and I realized that I don't have really any feeling whatsoever and it sucks but I was wondering am I stuck like that or maybe if I grow with age like how can I get feeling?

Hi anon, thanks for the question!

I feel like this one is kind of hard to answer because some people just don’t really feel much in their vagina at all, and then some feel like that and then in changes.  I would suggest you just take the time to explore what you like and what you don’t.  It could be that you find you have more feeling than you thought, or it could be that you just find other ways to get pleasure from sex.  And as always, if you’re feeling stuck or it’s seriously bothering you, talk to a doctor!  They will know all the reasons that could be and can help you medically more than I can.

I hope that helps!

[be-safe-be-informed]

So I started birth control two weeks ago, and my period isn't supposed to come until next week according to the pills. But for whatever reason it started last night. Is that normal?

Hi anon, thanks for the question!

Sometimes when you start birth control it takes a while for your body to get used to the hormones, so you bleed at weird times.  If it’s just normal bleeding, and not more heavy than normal, then I would give it a few months and it will probably even out.  It took me a year to get my period normally after taking birth control for the first time, so it can take a while.  That being said, if you’re concerned feel free to talk to your doctor!  They can possibly offer some solutions or they might just tell you to hold out for a while, too.

I hope that helps!

[be-safe-be-informed]

To the anon who asked about debilitating menstrual pain: if the cramps are so painful they immobilise you, maybe you should ask your doctor about endometriosis, which causes severe menstrual pain. Like the mod of this blog said, birth control would probably still be your best option if you did have an underlying medical condition causing the pain, but your doctor will likely know more than us and it's always best to check.

Hi anon!  Thank you!  This is a good point!