beanca & beyond

[beancables]

I’m from Hawaii

That’s what I’ve been saying to people every time I become a tourist myself, and I hate it.

You know how you just begin talking to someone, and one of those things they ask you in the middle of the talk is “Where are you from?”. Let’s be honest, that question itself is a good conversation starter already, no doubt. It’s mostly Uber/Lyft drivers, and people you get to encounter along the way that get to ask these kind of stuff. Usually takes about 5-10 minutes, and you look forward to those type of conversations again with other people. It’s a never ending misery, until you actually fly home and come back to your regular routine, then you don’t have to deal with that kind of thing again.

Every time I travel and I get to be asked this kind of question, I always get this funny feeling inside of me. I don’t know if my fellow Hawaiians can attest to this but, don’t you just cringe at the thought of telling them where you’re really from? I won’t lie, but every time I say I’m from Hawaii, I may sound proud to actually live there but deep inside me, I feel bad because, what if that person you’re talking to hasn’t been to Hawaii and you have to end up telling them that it’s beautiful out there, the beaches and the views are gorgeous, or, “You should visit!” Like, yeah isn’t it obvi? Hawaii is basically everyone’s dream travel destination! Who doesn’t want to go here for real though?

I’m telling you, every conversation always goes like this:

“Where are you from?”

“I’m from Hawaii!”

“Ohhh, nice! Hawaii! Which island?”

“Oahu.”

“Do you like it there?”

“Yeah, I love it there. Just really hate paying for rent.”

And the rest goes on, and on, and on...

What’s worse? Here’s another example: 

“No way, Hawaii?! Get outta here! Me? I’m from Arkansas. Really boring out there, trust me.”

Yep, that’s just exactly one of the reasons why I don’t like opening up to people where I’m from. I hate making people feel bad, and I hate awkward talks so much that it eats me up until the end of the day. It sucks.

Sometimes it would be like, “Oh yeah, I’ve been to Hawaii! It’s soooo beautiful there!” And you see their eyes start glimmering and they wouldn’t stop talking about how amazing that Hawaiian getaway they took was back then. Hearing these things coming from them makes me fake laugh most of the time. Like, right now. 

Haha.

There was also this one time I was at New Orleans with my friend and we were craving for some cajun food. We ate at this restaurant and this server asked for my ID as we were ordering our cocktails:

“So, you’re from Hawaii.”

“Yep, I’m from there.”

“Why are you even here? It’s so humid in here.”

I laughed, but I also felt semi-insulted. Bruh, I’m only here to try something different and eat your delicious cajun goodies! Stop telling me where I’m supposed to be.

I love the Rainbow State, you guys. From the mountains to the shores. Everyone here is just so laid back and food and culture is just out of this world. It’s not like I’m ashamed of it or I’m trying to bring it down, but I think about other people living elsewhere but here. I tend to have this habit of thinking of others first and putting myself last in the equation. Hell yeah, I’m grateful to call the islands my home, I admit that, but living in paradise can sometimes be frustrating with all the bills and the sky-rocketing high rent we have to pay. 

I guess a number of people move from the US mainland to the islands mainly because of the weather. You can’t get any snow in the islands except if you go up to Mauna Kea in the Big Island or Haleakala in Maui during the winter. It’s aaaaalways dry and wet season all year round. That’s also one of the reasons why we have a bigger population of the homeless. Yikes.

My point is, it’s not just because I live in Hawaii, I get to live my best carefree life. I’m not. I have endless stuff to pay and I’m still working on getting a house for my family here which is hard by the way. Mortgage is probably the biggest pain in the butt. You really have to earn enough in order for you to pay enough. 

It’s my sixth year living in this beloved state with my mom and I’m glad we actually stayed here. We’re still working it out ourselves, and I always believe in perfect timing. Only God can tell when we will all be settled and debt-free.

Aloha.

[beancables]

Depression

Warning: this is a rant, so if you have plenty of time to read today, I appreciate it. If not, please still read it.

I just recently watched Joker with a full stomach and probably two cups of cold brew to get me ready. It’s not like you have to be physically prepared, but mentally. Yes, mentally. And boy, it was a heavy and dark one. So please, if you think about watching this film and you’re going through something or are sensitive in some cases, please re-consider. Your mental wellness is more important than anything so save yourself when you can. I’m serious.

Shoutout to Ward theaters for that comfy seating tho. I was slightly struggling.

I wanted to throw away my cents on this just because. I know for a fact that my thoughts are gonna go all over the place with this. Yeah, I’m random. I’m usually more of an audio/visual person and I prefer to have my art and pictures speak for itself. I never keep a personal journal and I love being spontaneous most of the time. And, I admit that I’m never a good writer so bare with me. 

Let me start by saying that mental illness is something that is serious and is not to be ignored. It can be you or anybody. We don’t know. With the hustle and bustle we normally face nowadays, it’s hard to deal and tolerate with people, whether they’re your family, friends or just strangers to you. Despite all the laughter and smiles we hear and see from ourselves, it still doesn’t take away the fact that we are all sad and depressed too. We are all human beings and we all feel. Let’s not forget that.

Depression is not just only seen in people having suicidal thoughts, taking pills, having anxiety attacks, or are just plain crazy. Loss of appetite, eating more than what you’re supposed to, being isolated or not talking to anyone are just some examples that can trigger it. It’s crazy because a lot of us are being quiet about these things and it’s scary as shit. Once it starts developing, it will just break a person’s mind and heart in a snap and it’s never going to be normal again unless they seek help immediately. It’s like volcano waiting to erupt itself. You’ll never see it coming.

Come to think of it, our country’s been dealing with crimes and mass shootings from all over the place because of people who are deranged. They all needed help. If only we were more loud and open to one another, these events wouldn’t occur. 

Sigh.

The movie really taught me something: to listen and not just hear. Be aware of your surroundings and other people. If someone speaks up about something sensitive or private, LISTEN. Even if you’re not on his/her shoes or you’re not feeling it. Be at your kindest. Give advice if you could or simply offer constructive criticisms. Ask them if they’re okay. It helps. Even if they break down, open up to you or not, at least you showed them you care. Always be careful and mindful with our words. We don’t know what we all go through and basic steps like these can save a person mentally, emotionally and even physically and spiritually in the end. The world is cruel and wicked. It’s a sad reality we all have to face every day. 

I mean, let’s be honest. Therapies are expensive as heck. Only rich depressed people can afford all that counseling and in the end they would still do the unpredictable. Drugs are not the answer people, believe me. Don’t do it.

Self care is also necessary. You have friends? Text them. Go out with them, grab yourselves a cup of coffee or dessert and talk about anything under the sun. Open up if it makes you feel comfortable, or just think of something you can laugh about for as long as you want. Go to the beach and unwind... heck, travel if you have to! Everyone deserves to be mentally healthy and no one is to be ever stopped from doing it.

We all need to be better and do better. Check on your friends. Seek help if you must.

[beancables]

The big reveal

Aloha! I’ve been preoccupied and thinking about a lot of things lately, but there’s one thing that’s been bugging me for the longest time and I want to share it immediately. This is concerning something that’s very dear to me my whole life: my creative side.

Recently, I had this poll thrown out to my friends about getting my stuff out of the closet and I got positive responses.. For some of you who are not aware, I’m a graphic designer, also doing digital art on the side. I’ve had some art pieces to share every so often in my personal Instagram account. Ideas would just come popping up here and there and in return, I get compliments and well, constructive criticisms which I absolutely love entertaining. I’ve really put a lot of thought and effort in this, weighed my pros and cons, asked my friends, done my research… stuff like that.

With that said, I’ve finally decided to create an Instagram business account for my art.

About damn time.

Been doing this for more than decade now and it took me a while to come to this. I’ve followed a lot of designers since I got into Photoshop thinking someday I’ll be in their shoes. Yet also, I always thought of keeping my art to myself and just go with it as a hobby. But, I guess it feels different when a hobby turns into something that you want to do for the rest of your life. A lot of designers have probably passed this point in their lives where they finally realized their creativity is their bread and butter. I know all we do is sit, sketch, and look at color palettes, but we all learn to embrace it. I’m glad I went on this wild ride of graphic design and would be even more glad to share stuff that’s been sitting in my folders for so long. UGH I CAN’T WAIT.

I also wanted to do this because, I don’t want to mix my photos with my designs. Photography is also another hobby of mine which I seriously love digging into, but I would prefer things separate because my OCD self has been so vocal about this lately.

Right now, It’s under construction at thirty percent. Still debating on the name (suggestions are welcome). Definitely not at a comfortable setting yet but doncha worry, we’ll get there. As much as I want a quick release on this, I want it to come out the way a caterpillar took its time to construct itself and flawlessly come out of the cocoon: slowly but surely. Don’t know exactly when I want it out in the open.  When it’s ready, it will serve.

This is it. Couldn’t thank you guys for letting me pursue this! There’s no stopping now.

*cue in Queen - Don’t Stop Me Now*

- Beanca

[beancables]

Snowy Spring in Colorado 1/2

Hi there. How long has it been? Let’s say uh... a year, right? And I told y’all that I will update you with the rest of my travels but I guess I totally forgot. I really need to stop making promises for the ones I can’t commit! Fortunately, this week is Memorial Day weekend so I took the chance to just stay home and figure out how to blog again... figured this might be a good therapy after tons of work I dealt with last week. I do owe this space a lot, and it’s nice to reminisce anyway.

After my one-night layover at San Francisco, I finally got to Colorado around 11 and it was a decent 50 degrees weather in Denver. I had to catch the next CME trip in order to make it to Aspen before the sun goes down. I was with this dude and this old lady who are locals and the guy recently came from Big Island (I’ve never been so it was awesome of him to go take a trip down under). It was nice seeing snowcapped mountains and pine trees with the changing weather on every town you pass by. I got to Aspen at about 4 in the afternoon and met with my highschool and college friend Nenita at Snowmass Village! I stayed at her place for a couple of days and met Haz, her husband-to-be during that time. She took me out to Snowmass Mall and roamed around for quite a bit. We went back and stayed for the night because I was hella tired from travelling.

Fun fact: Snowmass Mall is one of the places where one of Ted Bundy’s kills occured. I still freak out hearing about it up to this point.

The next day Nenita took me out to teach me snowboarding and skiing. I chose to learn snowboarding first because I thought it was cool and it looked easy. For the record, this was the first time I’ve ever done snow activities so I was super stoked. I had this gut feeling in my stomach that I’ll be having some injuries when the day becomes over. I have zero experience in skateboarding so I know I was going to screw up. Then I also realized I can’t do snowboarding because you have to be smart with footwork, which I suck at. Did I make it out alive? Yes, but I felt like I had body bruises the next day. I tried skiing afterwards and hoped this one worked for me. It kinda did in a way it was super fun but I never did crazy slopes and slipped and I was scared because my body was deformed LMAO. Honestly, I pressured myself to learn but also, I had so much fun. Nenita was a great teacher tho! 

The same day I also rode my first ski lift! Everything was all a bliss overlooking the mountains. We capped the night off going out to Aspen for dinner.

Next day we went out to Aspen to roam around. I was with Nenita because Gizel had work that day. This small town is very quaint and just perfect for winter. In any of the islands in Hawaii, small towns are nice and calming. You can clearly see wooden houses, shacks, palm trees and secluded beach fronts everywhere that makes you just want to stay and leave the city life behind. Aspen is just like this, only that it’s filled with aspen trees and a perfect backdrop for winter and fall and there’s not much people around.

We went inside Aspen Art Museum which was super nice and modern. Back home we never had modern museums so this made my creative senses tingle for a while.

We then went to this restaurant that had meat and cheese platter. Also, there I tried a really good coffee creme brûlée. Yummy.

I fell absolutely in love with this town. For it being known to be the ski capital of Colorado and to be a place where the rich and famous get away from the cameras, I can see clearly why Aspen is a frontrunner. Would I go back in a heartbeat no matter how expensive everything is? Yeah, my friends are there. Lol.

[beancables]

My snowy and Southwest travels

“Take only memories. Leave only footprints.” - Chief Seattle

Don’t you just feel so alive when you travel? Finding an escape to somewhere you don’t live to on a daily basis is very essential. Traveling is not just about reaching to your destination, but more importantly it’s about the things that happen in between may it be good or bad. It doesn’t matter how blurry or vivid those things are because in the end you keep them. Once you get there, you can’t help but sometimes think of the things you had to go through. These experiences are best kept safe and even if it struck you or not, no matter how small and big it is, we learn a thing or two from them anyway. I honestly can’t wait to gain more experiences and insights in the next coming years and challenge myself. Really gives you that freedom and contentment you thought you never had.

So, I recently took a trip stateside and honestly, it was a such a wild and rewarding experience! Not because I had the such an awesome time out there, but I’ve got to experience at least three seasons the whole trip! Anything can happen in April, that’s why it’s a good month to travel. I mean, it’s cool, right? Also, I got to meet most of my high school/college friends whom I haven’t seen since I left for Hawaii! It’s good to have friends all over the world. Makes you consider about going out there and exploring different places with them.

So, I’ll be splitting this post in chapters. It’s way more organized doing this than having it all condensed in one. I have so much stories to tell and as I’m typing my words down, I’m in the works of constructing my stories as I go. I’m afraid I might forget some minor details but I’m sure it’s going to work out fine. Clearly, I haven’t blogged in a long time (the last time I ever updated my Tumblr was when I got sick), so bare with me if it goes fast or if you have too much to read. You chose this path and you started it already so, again, I’m sorry. Haha. Anyways, here goes nothing:

CHAPTER ONE: The Beginning of the Journey

I’ve already told myself to take a trip or two somewhere from my bucket list of places every year, and I kinda went way up a notch. Believe it or not, I’ve crossed out five states in this trip! I’ve got California, Colorado, Utah, Arizona and Washington taken out but the first and the latter I’m definitely going back for. I spent most of my time with the three states in the middle. I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to just be on your way to your next destination! How if feels to be way up high or ahead among everyone else just makes you think you can conquer the world one time, and I felt like I did!

First stop: San Francisco.I didn’t really choose to have layover flights, but I did for cheaper airfare and it’s my first time to be in California so what’s another eight hours of wait, right? Lol. I hopped off the plane around 3PM HST and spent five hours watching Terrace House episodes along the way (Lol, I am still not done with it). I met up with my college friend when I got off and he took me around the Bay Area for a short while! We were able to drive by Golden Gate Bridge, Lombard Street, and Twin Peaks at night! I remember not having my inserts on and it was about 51 degrees cold in there. I was freezing as hell when we went to Twin Peaks and the city lights were such a sight to see! We had to stay for a bit just to chill and talk about life and the music we listened to (good old memories). It was a super fun late night!

To be honest, how it costs so much living in this city doesn’t surprise me at all now that all these tech companies are rapidly rising! It’s crazy out there. I’d wait ten… twenty years (give or take) to live there with already enough to save and pay for rent. Heck, the cost of rent might even grow bigger and I’d be piled up with dues and maybe, working two shifts! That’s why I’d always choose the island life over everything. Just my two cents.

I’m trying not to give out opinions, but I just had to… in this case. Lol Sooo, after the short tour, we had to eat a super late dinner somewhere in the south (I believe it was a casino called Lucky Chances? Lol). Then, I got to the airport so early to catch my Denver flight at 7AM.

View from Twin Peaks

Props to Timmy for the tour! It was really nice seeing you again I hope you liked the UBAE tarts you asked. Hope to see ya again!

I’d still be back there around May though for the Bottlerock Music Fest. So, whoever’s going there, lmk and we might cross our paths! <3

----

P.S. expect for more chapters! I’m still working on the rest.

[beancables]

Howzit, my friends?

So, apparently, I’ve got a bit of a terrible news for y’all. Do not freak out. Here’s a photo of two Welsh corgis for you to smile and take a deeeeeep breath.

You ready for this?

Okay, here we go.

Last September 27th, I found out from my doctor that I was positive for TB (tuberculosis), and right now, as of this moment, I am in my personal room/workspace isolated because of that. Isolation means that I have to stay in my room with windows open and if I have to go out and talk to people I should wear a mask. It has been almost my third week, and I’m telling you my friends, there’s progress going on but I couldn’t get out of the house for long until I’m not contagious anymore. Sucks.

You might be wondering who/where I got it from. The truth is, I don’t even know. My daily routine consists of riding the bus early in the morning, getting to work for eight hours, and going home riding the bus again. The people that I live with here are actually pretty normal, and they were all tested negative. So the factors there would either be from work or from the people I ride with from the bus. I actually feel a bit traumatized from riding the bus right now because of this, and it got me thinking to get a car and just drive to work (Sigh, I will work on getting my permit! I’ve been trying to get that done, but I never have time.) But yeah, whoever I may got it from, I can’t do anything. I have acquired it from that person and there’s nothing more that I can do but just to stay home and follow doctor’s orders. I wish that person well, too.

Sidenote: I couldn’t drink alcohol until I’m done with my treatment. Sad, but yeah, I’m actually okay with that because I rarely drink these days and the only beverage I couldn’t live without is 8 oz of coffee. If my nurse wouldn’t let me drink coffee, I’d totes freak out and definitely would have caffeine withdrawals. Lol

The last time I heard from my nurse was I was a 3+ according to my sputum results. The contagiousness level of TB is from 0 to 4: 0 the lowest and 4 the highest. From a crazy 4+ (I was very contagious tbh), it went down for about two weeks of therapy and seven pills on weekdays! SEVEN. PILLS. OMG RIGHT? It’s been one helluva ride, folks. I’ve got to Skype my nurse every morning and drink all of these pills just to get better. I’m not getting any weird side effects though, so that’s cool. I just hate it every time I burp, I get that weird antibiotic aftertaste which is hyuck. Not gonna even talk about it.

Now, you’re probably wondering how I live my everyday life from now on. Well, still pretty normal. I still get to work (thankfully). I’m able to remote-in to my work computer and still work full-time, only in the comfort of my room. My Macbook, my mouse, and my phone are my very best friends atm. My co-workers have been texting/calling/chatting with me on what’s going on and I’m still able to help on whatever stuff. So, yay! It’s a good thing work keeps me occupied rather than just lying in bed watching Netflix all day (OMG y’all, I’ve already binge-watched most of the sitcoms/dramas/movies in their catalog and I even did reruns on shows that I really like!). I usually turn on my music and sometimes turn on my TV so it doesn’t seem quiet when I work. I kinda like this life. I really enjoy doing this to be honest. It seems like a good daily routine to me. Just not the part where I can’t get out at all. ;)

I mean, I can go outside and smell the freshest air, but I’m not allowed to talk to people which is my weakness. I AM LOUD AF.

I’ve also tried to keep up with my graphic design game and kinda did some work for my portfolio as well. I’m taking some freelance commission work from friends, and I’m happy to do some stuff for them! The good thing about this is, I get to do the things that I haven’t done in a while. I just basically treat this sickation (sick vacation) thing like my typical summer vacation in the Philippines. When I was a kid, I rarely go out of the house, watch TV all day and play video games with my brother. I was never an adventure freak (and now I am haha) and that’s pretty much how I became the nerd that I am now. HAHA. I miss the good old days though.

I’ve also decided to cancel my San Francisco trip when I found out about it, and yes, it was a bummer. Good thing I got refunds from my airline and Airbnb bookings! The concert tickets that I had to go to were sold mostly on Stubhub for about 50-60% of the original price, so it really didn’t hurt. At least I got some of my moneyz back! (I intently put the “z” in money because I’m a thug inside. Lol j/k) I’ve got plans to go to Colorado though next year! That’s something to look forward to. Just really have to make up to it. I’m also getting a camera soon, so that’s a birthday present to myself.

So, yeah that’s about it for me at the moment! Sorry to those who I might have affected (my mom wasn’t because her immune system is awesomesauce), my co-workers who I believe they were all (or most of them) negative from the results. Yay! I’m not really horrible. But still, I feel sad that this happened. Moral lesson: always be aware of your surroundings, and always take good care of yourself. You never know what happens to you in the future and when the moment kicks in, it’s either a good or bad one. 

Phew! This was a really long rant. I gotta hit the sack. Thanks for reading though! I think it took you about 5-6 minutes.

- B

[beancables]

J U L Y   2 O 1 7  |   Castle on a Cup

[beancables]

J U N E   2 O 1 7  |   Surreal Dreams

[beancables]

M A Y   2 O 1 7 | A Pinch of Earth

[beancables]

A P R I L    2 O 1 7 | Little People, Large Food

[beancables]

M A R C H    2 O 1 7 | Prismatic Paradise

[beancables]

F E B R U A R Y    2 O 1 7 | Love in Both Sides

[beancables]

PROJECT M/M: J A N U A R Y   2 O 1 7 | Facadism

[beancables]

PROJECT MANIP/MONTH

Hey guys. I'm baaaack and I'm up for a self challenge.

Let me introduce you to PROJECT MANIP/MONTH, or simply Manip a Month. It's a monthly contribution of photo manipulated artworks using original photos taken in a month from January until December (If I get motivated, I might do one per week). It could be themed or just random, depending on the photos I take within a certain month. 

I came up with this idea knowing that I take a lot of photos from my iPhone, and I archive them to my cloud/laptop. Then I see my friends doing Project 365s or 52-week challenges and thought maybe I could do one on my own. So, I was like, why not make use of these photos and create something weird or... wonderful? (if ever it will turn out to be one lol)

So yeah, that's how MANIP/MONTH was born. It was a splendid and productive idea I thought I could execute willingly, and besides, I kinda miss messing around with Photoshop these days. Overall, I'm beyond happy about this. This will definitely keep my creative juices flowing all year. YAYYYY

Be sure to check out the rest of this here. (Yes, you have to click “here”)

First entry up on my next post. Mahalo, everyone! Glad to be back! 

[beancables]

For almost two years, I had the luxury to work at a penthouse office. It was also the time I had my own personal desk and an additional monitor (yasss). I was beyond overwhelmed around that time that I actually deserved that kind of employee treatment even if I was the least experience since I started working.

Yesterday was our last day at the building, and we had to move stuff from here to the new location (which is fine btw, but not as cool as staying in a view like this). This was the same time I finally opened the glass door and went out to smell the fresh air and be on top of the building. Crossed from my minor bucket list. I’ll surely miss this building no matter how much drama I had to deal with lol.

We’re closer to Ala Moana right now. Can’t wait for Monday and our very first work day at the new building!

Taken from iPhone. Processed with VSCO and Photoshop.

[beancables]

I call this one MEmoji. Yes, my hair color changed. You’re welcome.

[beancables]

I swear I need to go back to that time when I constantly update this blog. It sucks that I don’t have the luxury to do it nowadays because Saturdays and Sundays are filling up with most of my personal to-do lists, and I’m embarrassed to say I’m forgetting this. I’m now 23 and basically paying most of the bills now. I have too much responsibilities to eat. Man, I hate growing up but I have to live with it lol

This is why I hate creating a lot of social media accounts. No offense, but how long do you really have to update your Facebook or posts snaps on your Snapchat? Do you even have time to make-up to all of them? I’ve created a lot and I regret every time I do because you need to at least update all of them. Now that we’re all trying to be relevant, going in with the new, the social world has become so ignorant to the obsolete.

And I’m guilty as charged.

I feel like I’ve forgotten how to blog too. Tumblr was my life back in college. I remember all summer I had to spend most of my free time reblogging random stuff that make me feel some type of way. Now that I feel like a grown up, I feel like I’m slowly taking away the things that I usually want to do. Now, I pretty much have a long list of needs.

Anyways, just ranting out. Funny how I have time to say these things. Guess I’ll just post whenever I have to.