BeanMaster64

[beanmaster64]

I would like to share with you this glorious picture I took of my cat looking strong and majestic.

[beanmaster64]

I am fighting the insatiable urge to quit my “safe” education and persue the arts for the rest of my life, stress free

[beanmaster64]

3 1/2 months later I am fighting this urge again. It’s 10 days until my physics exam, 1 month until my maths exam.

I don’t feel like I’m learning anything, I’m probably getting better at them but the dread is overwhelming any sense of accomplishment I have.

This isn’t fun, I don’t even know if what I’m doing after my exams will be fun, same with if I get into my dream uni or anything else I’ve applied to.

I thought I fought depression and beat it years ago. Either it’s back, or I was in denial about being depressed and it kinda worked. (It’s happened before)

I’m genuinely thinking about getting a therapist, or just abandoning the things that are giving me stress.

Even if I get into my dream uni, I don’t think I’ll be able to finish the course.

I want to live alone in the middle of nowhere, no real responsibilities, no expectations from anyone. Just peace.

Why do I have to be so anxious??? It’s stopping me from achieving my goals and stopping me from being happy.

Getting any healthcare for anxiety or Depression or ADHD will take months, probably years, by then it might be too late.

I’m already thinking about giving up, how will I feel a year from now?

This wasn’t originally meant to be a vent but that’s how it turned out.

[beanmaster64]

Update from almost a year later:

I’m doing ok, I took loads of time off after my exams which helped a lot but I’m starting to get a little depressed now.

Somehow I managed to get an A in maths even though I was predicted a D, I got a C in physics which I’m happy with considering I was hoping for a B.

I didn’t get into my dream uni because they thought I already had a degree?? So now I’ve applied for a college course which will get me into a uni that I previously applied for.

Still struggling to get a job though, I’m overqualified for low paying jobs, but don’t have enough experience for jobs that pay any better, so no one wants to hire me…

I’ll figure things out eventually. I feel kinda old now that I’ll be 20 next year.

I may or may not update this thread again. Bye!

[beanmaster64]

Is there a name for when you remember something by knowing what it’s not?

For example:

I remember that neutrons are neutrally charged because it sounds like it starts with neutral. I remember that protons are positively charged because a pro is a positive thing. The only reason I know that electrons are negatively charged is that I know how protons and neutrons are charged, and therefore, electrons must be, by deduction, negatively charged.

This is the very stupid way that I remember a lot of things.

[beanmaster64]

I’m a straight cis guy until I meet a homophobe or transphobe. I’ll be non binary or bisexual for however long it takes to make a bigot so angry they storm off. It’s like a hobby that I get to do very very rarely and it always gives me the most smug grin ever.

[beanmaster64]

The (not so) subtle foreshadowing here is crazy.

[beanmaster64]

Oh to be a fluffy village cat, resting atop an Italian mountain…

He goes brrrp and meow btw

[beanmaster64]

I may have just found the funniest job ad in the world.

DO YOU LIKE CHEESE? BECOME A CHEESE ASSSISSTANT AT A CHEESSEMONGER! ASSIST CHEEESE TODAY!

[beanmaster64]

THE CHEESEMONGER JOB IS BACK LOL

[i-am-a-fish]

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL LESBIAN DAY!!!

it would be really cool if I could celebrate it with someone someday haha

haha

[beanmaster64]

HOW TF DID I MISS LESBIAN DAY WTF

[beanmaster64]

Ok I ran out of thoughts, wtf do I say now.

[beanmaster64]

If you're a metalhead and you don't have a cute baby pink house made out of cherry wood in minecraft, are you even a metalhead?

[beanmaster64]

I may have just found the funniest job ad in the world.

DO YOU LIKE CHEESE? BECOME A CHEESE ASSSISSTANT AT A CHEESSEMONGER! ASSIST CHEEESE TODAY!

[beanmaster64]

Considering caffeine can be medication for ADHD‘ers, and I am an aforementioned ADHD’er. I would like to volunteer myself to be the first person ever to overdose on caffeine, for any scientist who want to run the experiment.

[beanmaster64]

A fucking biplane just flew over my house

Not a bisexual plane, like an old timey, world war 1 biplane.

[beanmaster64]

Can we just appreciate the guy taking the pictures for google maps on Rainbow Street in Reykjavik, Seeing him made me smile :)

[beanmaster64]

I just saw a post that pointed out how today’s teenagers are probably using playground equipment more than today’s young children and it made me think, is it just gen z who are the only ones trying to maintain their childhood?

A lot of parents and older people are pushing 16 year olds to get jobs and start saving for their future, AND try and get the best grades in school. I understand if they’ve left school but in my opinion, teenagers that are still in school should not have jobs.

Having a childhood should not stop at 16, you shouldn’t have to worry about a job or money at that age. You could argue that it’s preparing them for when they’re adults but all it’s doing is setting unrealistic standards and burnout at 26.

I know that doing this isn’t 100% possible for everyone in this economy, but no one is bringing it up when talking about how the economy affects young people.

[beanmaster64]

Idk how to explain it, I’m not a woman, but I’m attracted to women in a lesbian way…

[beanmaster64]

Nvm I just want to be topped

[beanmaster64]

Idk how to explain it, I’m not a woman, but I’m attracted to women in a lesbian way…

[thelandofmemes]

[beanmaster64]

I could’ve had Gaelic or Scots as my first language but the English just HAD TO INTERVENE