I was in Edinburgh for the first time this summer walking down the Royal Mile near parliament and someone called me out, by name, walking in the opposite direction.
It was the oddest thing and for a moment I felt celibratized. I grew up in a small suburb of Chicago where most people knew one another and I never dreamt that I’d achieve recognition outside my hometown, my school my circle of friends like I have with this platform.
People recognize me in bars and come up and ask me if I’m “Sparatcub” and my husband and my friends roll their eyes because it is stupid and I feel embarrassingly conceited writing this so I can only imagine how it looks being read but the last 6-7 years I’ve reached a point where I derive a lot of my personal identity from this ridiculous blog where I post bearish men in various states of undress and, occasionally, myself, a somewhat bearish man.
No matter how vapid I tell myself it is it felt good to have this platform carved out for myself. Like a pillar in my life I could fall back on or be oddly proud of in one way or another. A source of exhibitionism and validity at my fingertips, a motivator to stay in shape and show off from time to time. I’m a co-manager of a call center by trade so it’s not a very glamorous life day to day 😂
I’ve met some incredible people through here, too many to name except I will name @willcolbykettles because he’s beautiful and I ❤️ him. People who I’ve admired even before coming out who worked in porn or modeled that I got to meet because of what I achieved at this little hellsite. Some I’ve only chatted with, others I got to meet in the flesh.
People have asked where they can find me after this. I am on IG as Pontifaxmaximus but I’m not nearly as prolific a poster. It is all original content but it’s pretty PG.
I think my blogging is going to die with this site and I know it was inevitably going to run its course and I know tumblr has been “problematic” forever but it kills me we’re losing out to a, if not blatantly bigoted then, overtly puritanical piece of legislation dressed up to combat sex trafficking. That seems to be the ultra conservative tide the world is currently caught in though.
I’m anxious to see what emerges out of this vacuum that sanitizing tumblr will bring but it’s going to be a dull couple of months (years?) in the meantime. I know I’ve reached the zenith of any follower count (69k, giggidity) I can hope to achieve, as pathetic of a metric that is.
So I guess it’s time a tumble back into obscurity. It was a lot of fun while it lasted at least when I wasn’t being made out to look like a racist or jabbed at for having a small dick.
Thank you all! Promoting the chubby male form has been really empowering for me and hopefully it’s brought joy to some of you guys as well.
I hope to continue to make big boys feel good about themselves but I might have to go about it in person moving forward 😘
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