Trying to find home

Wondering in the forest.

[bearlostinthewoods]

Rourke, Zilv, and Kai- Retrospective thoughts

I've been watching the drama of Rourke, Zilv and Kai go on for many months now. You would think that people would have moved on by now, but thats not the case. I find it fascinating by all accounts, you can chalk it up to being bored and being at home more because of the pandemic.

I think today's issues with Zilv and Kai have prompted me enough to write another thought log about them.

Looks like this round of drama had to do with Kai posting on his Instagram about how he is not doing well and how Rourke is talking about him in the Discord channel, which a flurry of supporters and defenders have come out of the wood work to comment on all of this. I guess the crux of it was that someone got a hold of the address of Zilv's parents and current home and sent literal shit in those packages (poop fire bag anyone?).

Zilv, Rourke's sisters and Kai's sister have all made statements about what is going on. Rourke for his part has stayed quiet, like much how he always has although he did make a statement on Instagram as well, but mostly directed at Zilv and his supporters. He's offline for the moment due to being sick.

in a nutshell:

Kai is -

Depressed and possibly suicidal?

Angry at Rourke for making a pancake comment on his discord

Angry at Rourke for calling him a cancer and saying that he deserves nothing

Depressed at being body shamed

Making jabs at Rourke

Kai's sister has backed up this claim saying that he is losing his light - I hate terms like this - depressed and not getting money from the Foster system and asking people to stop the hate.

Zilv is -

Blaming Rourke for everything and shifting the focus from himself

Blaming "Rourke's Fans" for everything that is happening

Continues to post questionable porn and images to the time

Closing comments on OF and Twitter

Not giving monetary compensation to Rourke?

And visiting friends and family despite the pandemic

Kick Rourke out of Twitter

Rourke is -

Moving on

Made jabs at Kai

Outright called Zilv out

Not gotten compensated from Zilv on their PH and OF accounts

Started a Discord server

Rourke's family have called Zilv about his behavior and lack of giving the funds that Rouke is entitled to (at least that is what appears to be the case). Also that Zilv has a lack of empathy for his treatment of his ex-fiance and the cruel treatment of other family members.

Now all the above is a a BREIF summary of feels and actions being seen, and there is a WHOLE slew of other things going on with defenders of both sides but I want to get back to the topic of which prompted this.

Topic: MENTAL HEALTH

Both Kai's sister (aunts as well) and Kai have mentioned that he is not doing well mentally. I can be empathic to this and this is not to say that Rourke is not experiencing the same thing.

But what I find odd is the fact that Kai is stating that he is depressed. Now there are different states that people can go through - some chronic, like myself - others situational. Personally (again my opinion only based on what I am seeing) Kai is only going through situational. I say this because Zilv is still posting videos of him and Kai having sex, Zilv is posting Kai in "sexy" outfits, and Kai himself is posting drag content.

This all SCREAMS validation. All of this is seeking validation from the faceless internet.

I don't know who I need to yell this to, but this is a complete NO-NO. When you seek validation for outside sources, they are BOUND to let YOU down. Because with the internet, praise comes with criticism.

A lot of folks on Twitter are angry because mental health is being taken lightly, as society takes it. Kai and Zilv's actions are directly contradictory to HELPING someone get over their "Depression" now can I see Kai using his Drag as helping? yes. But at the same time he is sticking up his middle finger to everyone which is a contradictory move.

And Zilv posting about how "hot and sexy" Kai is, is also very superficial. Which brings me to my next point.

HYPOCRISY - Which I will address when I get a chance. Disclaimer - Thoughts are my own - No one need to agree or hate on.

[bearlostinthewoods]

Rourke & Zilv

I happened to be on Twitter the other day and noticed that a couple that I followed was having issues with the people that followed them.

I remember Rourke and Zilv from their Tumblr days before the great purge. I followed them cause I thought their content was nice change from what i’ve seen from other gay couples. 

Once the purge happened, I lost sight of them until they popped up on my twitter. I gave them a follow but never was too invested in them. Now I happened to be on vacation scrolling and found out that things blew up. 

I watched it play out like any other person. Like any “social media celeb” (note - I use this term loosely), their followers were wonder what was going on. Someone named Kai, had posted an Instagram story from Zilv’s car and shortly after another story where Kai was on a bed in his underwear and tag Zilv. 

Rourke also posted a story on Instagram that said he was sorry to Zilv. 

From here it exploded. I watched, in with morbid curiosity (hello we’re on the internet, and everyone cyber stalks, lets be realistic here) as Twitter followers, Rourke, Zilv and Kai, kept quiet or made comments. 

And none of it was pretty from any angle. Even how it stands now. 

This all started in about October from what I saw. Basically someone asked Zilv if he and Rourke were breaking up. To which he replied no they weren’t. But shortly after Kai popped up. 

Now, from what was gathered, Kai had been following Zilv for a while on Instagram. Kai had a boyfriend at the time, but Rourke was aware of Kai. 

Kai followed Zilv on new his profiles after Instagram had deleted some of the other ones. So from the looks of it. Kai was a fan of Zilv. and on Zilv’s part, he enjoyed the attention from Kai despite being engaged to Rourke. 

From comments that Kai has made, he was also engaging Rouke in converstation since Kai has made comments about them playing video games. 

Now from what others have said Kai was the only “femm boy” that Zilv followed besides all the Instagram Models that Zilv followed. While Rourke only followed Zilv. It can be infered as mentioned before that Zilv enjoyed the attention that Kai gave. Rourke for his part did let Zilv know that he wasn’t happy about this. 

With all of this its easy to see why so many Twitter users are angry about how things came about. 

And from the looks of it, it doesn’t seem to be dying down. 

From an outsider’s perspective... i think this hits on many people’s buttons, because of the prospect of cheating, even though all three have said there was no cheating. Although in my opinion - cheating comes in many forms - emotion or physical. 

I have more to say about this but I will leave it here for now.