dear goddess...

ind. priv. sel. marianne von edmund

[mevmevme]

Warriors 🆕Marianne

[beastscrest]

I managed to get this account back, which is good. The time has come for a makeover.

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure submitted:

’I’ll show you then. Close your eyes and keep them shut.’

…Those were his words as he placed the index and middle finger on Marianne’s forehead, most certainly causing confusion as to what was he about to do to show what kind of event marked him regarding his own ‘curse’ for the first time.

Then, no more than a few seconds later, a gentle blue light shone at the tips, with her mind open, focused and the memory of the desired event he wished for her to see would play vividly; akin to a movie.

She would bear witness to it all from Ragna’s point of view directly. He was younger; around his teenager years, he was knelt over a field of beautiful flowers and unique ones at that, sheepishly, his black hand slowly and carefully took a big and lively one in his hands, such a vivid white and red mixed rose… How was this possible? It was beautiful as he lost himself like a child discovering something new.

…But out of nowhere, the flora in hand began drying up. It began to wilt immediately in his right hand. Losing it’s beauty, he gasped in fear audibly and dropped the wilting flower, crumbling on contact with the ground. His breathing began hitching up, she would be able to perceive how his eyes widened, shivers of fear, slowly looking at his hand as it trembled, the lump that formed in his throat as he tried to touch another plant…

…And the act of touching it with his fingers started having the same result, causing it all to come out. A scream of fear as he slammed his fist on the ground, but then realizing he would be maybe killing the ground too, he was absolutely terrified as he fell to his knees, leaving his hand hanging away from his body, wheezing and gasping for air, tears forming in his eyes…

And the ear piercing scream of fear finally erupted from his throat, she would hear the thoughts of calling himself a monster and that he should die… but that could not work. He had already tried a few times and nothing worked, injuries would heal immediately too and more…

…Then his Master, a cat standing on his own two legs arrived swiftly and hit him on the back of the neck, leaving him out cold, there was no other way to calm him down.

That was the turning point. After he arose from the knock out, his Master soothing him, he vowed to try and live with it after he was told to stop being an idiot about a chance at life again in the first place…

In what seemed to be momentary confusion, Marianne did not utter even so much as a word. Truth to be told, when she allowed him to show her a fragment of his past, she was not entirely sure how exactly he was going to do that. Clearly, telepathy as an option had completely slipped her mind. How silly of her, and yet — maybe it was for the best — she was not given a chance to dwell on it for far too long as the world around her began to fade, making way to memories that did not belong to her.

Before she knew it, she had found itself in an unfamiliar, breathtakingly beautiful place (but why did her heart sting so then?)... and in an unfamiliar body, too. A surreal experience it was, to say the least. Right here and right now, she was not Marianne. She was Ragna, the way he was years ago, when he was but a child. She saw the world through his eyes and felt it with every inch of not her, but his being.

Her — or rather, his — body moved on its own as Marianne’s mind had no control over what had already passed, now following a particular scenario she could not change as she felt every single one of his emotions, from fear to overwhelming sadness and confusion as everything he touched wilted and fell apart in a blink of an eye.

He never wanted this to happen.

He didn’t mean to.

He never asked for any of this, so why was this happening to him?

Had his Master not arrived just in time, the poor tormented soul would have probably lost the remains of his sanity right there, right at that moment, without even so much as a chance to choose life over despair.

Marianne didn’t notice that tears were running down her face, and, quite honestly, she did not seem to care.

“... It’s not your fault.”

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure​:

To see him suffering when the Azure was causing him actual physical strain was a sight of horror, the Beast could always come out on a bad one… It was always at least once a year or if something triggered whatever within him, he’d feel actual pain while he was reminded how he is losing what’s left of his humanity that he wants to hang on to.

Ragna was about to put his clothes back on proper, he had shown her enough to also say his piece, but her speaking stopped him before he could put it all back in place proper.

“Healing magic…” He repeated. Pure, healing magic? The look on his face said it all as first reaction. ‘She… She is like…’ Immediately, he could do nothing but think of his mother figure, the sister, and Celica. But could it be different? It certainly could, because it was by no means tied to any shred of the matter he was so used to be around, so.., “Maybe… Maybe it could help, it’d be a matter of finding out… If you do feel like it, I’m not going to force you.” Responding, he needed to do something to not just remain in pure shock.

“I’m not someone to envy.” He never saw himself as anyone worth of any respect of admiration due to all his actions, “I just… wanted to live. I wanted to be strong and do something for those I valued more than myself, but without throwing my whole life away, because there’s always meaning in trying to continue living.” Adding just a little more, he began actually fixing his clothes all over again.

“Why, yes, healing magic.” She repeated confusedly, clearly taken aback by his reaction, just as he was left speechless when she offered her aid and powers to him. It was as though to him, such arts were a rarity. But how could it be, she wondered, that something so common here was a unique and rare talent wherever he had come from? How could it be that it caught him off guard? Truly, this man was an enigma, and just when she thought that one mystery was solved, another one followed. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve been studying it. Somehow, it helped me forget about my burden for a little while. Maybe that is my way of atoning for the sin that is my existence. But regardless... there are other healers in the Academy, and many of them are much more talented, but...”

But there is enough suffering in this world.

“... I fear I won’t be able to return your arm to its original state.” For the first time, Marianne spoke with relative confidence in her quiet voice. “But I believe there is a chance that my powers will be enough to, at the very least, reduce the pain.”

“That’s why I envy you, though.” The young woman added after a pause, all newly found confidence that she seemed to radiate just a moment earlier now faded. “Your will to live. I, on the other hand... I forgot what it’s like to want to live. For years, all I’ve ever wanted was to simply vanish as if I never existed.”

[velaversal]

marianne!

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure​:

“Hurt? Physically once every year or under certain circumstances and… whenever it feels like.” He was so used to it, as long as he wasn’t on the verge of transforming on some years, it was fine. This all only probably added for the worse to say though.

It wasn’t inappropiate to him, he didn’t mind talking about it anymore, that was so behind him by now to react negatively when asked or so. It wasn’t an injury by any means indeed, much to the opposite, it didn’t make it any less of an evil he prefered to use for as much good as possible instead nowadays. He no longer was completely human since that day which he took this on his body and then more.

While he could not force Marianne to try and live like he did now, he at least wanted to inspire the courage some way too, if it worked, he could be happy with that much, because he understood how it was to want to disappear forever because of the fate dealt to oneself. Ragna lived every day of his life knowing full well deep down it could be his last, the Beast could go mad and finally take over it’s vessel at long last.

“It may be unfair… But even if I wasn’t fully conscious while doing it and then more, to me that meant I did not want to die despite not knowing the full extent of what awaited me, yet I have no regrets.” He let it all keep sinking in, “Right now where I stand, the damn Beast could break out, but I still have life left and I know it, I want to do good and what I can with my life until then, you know?”

“...”

So it did. It was but a guess, and a wild one, too, but she was truly hoping to be wrong. Maybe, even though Marianne probably did not quite realize it, it would ease her troubled mind a little to know that his suffering was not worsened by real, physical pain. Although, perhaps, it was nothing compared to mental turmoil one could not run from, even if they tried. That lesson she had learned quite well, and yet she was not quick to respond, as if she struggled to speak, and her thoughts simply wouldn’t take the right form.

Or maybe she simply wasn’t brave enough. That is, until this very moment.

“If... if I may...” Marianne spoke reluctantly, as though what she was about to say was an act of outrageous familiarity, too inappropriate for a stranger such as herself to demonstrate. Yet, almost as if she were driven by some sort of instinct, she went on. “You see, I... my specialty is healing magic. I could aid you... if it gets too bad. You don’t have to, of course, I’m not forcing you, but I felt that it would be wrong to keep it secret, knowing that I can be of help.”

For someone like her, someone who had never been particularly good at talking, this was an exceptionally long and emotional speech that seemed to have drained her quite a bit, causing her to fall silent as she stood before the young man, wringing her hands nervously. Little by little, she was starting to open up... however, it seemed as though some of her insecurities still held her back, and it was way more apparent than she wished it was.

“I truly envy you, although I probably shouldn’t think so, let along talk about this out loud. But... it’s admirable, really, to keep moving forward and living despite all this.”

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure·:

It was easy for him to say, because he knew exactly what it was to be at the lowest possible point with barely any hope to hang onto. Furthermore, being unable to die with ease on top for a darker side to it all he might mention or not.

If he hit a bad chord, if she was able to, she was all the more allowed to voice it, after all, their experiences while similar, they weren’t the same. Marianne was born from the start with her own weight to carry, even if he didn’t make the choice while fully conscious, not knowing the full extent of the price and half of it was done by someone who wished for him to live, he still did it because he wanted to live either way like most of any other human would have wanted, normally.

But the similarity and differences of their cases aside, they were also talking without a care of where they stood in the world, there was a reason why that hadn’t been brought up, after all.

“Afraid… That’s how they all should normally be, because… Yes. This is about the powers I’m holding.” And sure enough, the right side of his body came into view, letting her see the whole stretch of mainly that ‘arm’. Black. Dark. Clearly something was wrong and alien about it and not only because of the color to begin with, just the matter of looking at it made it clear.

All the way from his hand to his shoulder… Black. “Sparing what this precisely is for now, what you see here eats at my body just as much as it helps me. If I am not killed before I die a natural death? There’s a whole beast that will devour the world waiting to come back worse than ever, incubating right in there.” The weight and honesty alongside how calm he was during his explanation really said it all.

“…Yet. I’m still here.” The biggest, clearest fact was that one indeed.

“Does it... hurt?”

What a silly question it was, she thought to herself as she uttered those words somewhat absent-mindedly, before she even knew what she was saying.Of course it must have hurt. Mentally, if not physically, even if he didn’t show it. This inquiry seemed so out-of-place and inappropriate to the young woman that she couldn’t help but throw a quick apologetic glance at Ragna before her attention was drawn back to his arm. At first, it almost looked severely burnt and damaged, yet upon closer examination, Marianne quickly discovered, much to her horror, that this arm, so black and odd-looking, could as well belong to some other, non-human being. It couldn’t be his. It simply couldn’t be... could it?

Quite a bizarre sight it was but, at the same time, unbearably painful to behold as it sent shivers down Marianne’s spine. This arm practically radiated great power unknown to humans, and even from where she stood, she could feel its overwhelming, suffocating aura.

But even so...

Even so...

His words echoed in her mind, and there was nothing she could do to brush them off. But maybe she was not even trying to. In a way, she was somewhat ashamed of herself, or rather she thought she should have been. Her Crest was a danger to everyone around her, and yet she remained unharmed, to her own disgust and despair, for, she used to think, she did not deserve to be in such good health. But his situation was much, much worse. He, the man who wanted to live no matter what, was being destroyed by his own powers little by little, and once again he spoke of this so casually as if he had already accepted such a terrible fate.

It was so...

“... unfair. This is so unfair.”

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure·:

Ragna was forced to become strong, his younger siblings needed him and there was no way he would let them get hurt as much as he could, he endured so many terrible experiments that took him to the inch of death until his eventual master saved them all. After living with his family and the sister for a few years, he took everything for granted and then lost everything, yet after having another opportunity at life, no matter what it took… He still was trying to make the most of it. He has made so many mistakes and he has to truly and well die before he meets a natural death thanks to not being born with a beast, but becoming the vessel that will give a terrible rebirth to one.

He learned his role as the Destroyer of the World and all his actions came crashing down upon him, but he decided to not act as that unless he really had to.

He had been able to make his mind and choices, thus becoming who and what he is today, and seeing someone in practically the same position but with a different angle… Hurt. But the difference now could be… That she no longer had to endure it alone if she had to.

But then she said that: ‘She didn’t ask to be born’, ‘Not to be that way’… His lips visibly curled at something he had said before.

“I didn’t ask to be born nor to become what I am today either.” His voice was more stern, but he decided to calm down after a quick deep breath and show her something instead, starting to pull out his right arm from his jacket and unzip the right shirt underneath, he was going to open the respective side to show her something… His ‘right arm’.

“Don’t be alarmed, I just want to show you that no matter if you don’t know where you are going or what happens… You can live. And if I could, so can you, because I believe it possible. I obviously am not going to force you or anything, I just want to really let you know… I believe you can too.”

Easy for you to say.

That was her usual response to all those motivational speeches some of her particularly persistent classmates were giving her in an admirably chivalrous yet vain attempt to cheer her up. And every single time, Marianne let those bitter words remain unspoken, as if out of respect for their kindness. They meant well, so how could she mistreat them so cruelly? But this time, this thought did not cross her mind as she looked at the white-haired man curiously, wondering how the two of them, two people with similar circumstances and problems in their lives, could turn out so differently. He who had gone through Hell and she who believed that Hell was all that awaited the likes of her, cursed people abandoned by the Goddess or the Saints, and who would’ve thought that they, two tormented souls, would meet here and now, today?

In a way, Marianne couldn’t help but envy him a little, a feeling, perhaps, unfitting for a noble lady, but it was, unfortunately, way beyond her control. For the first time in her life she was not told to just smile, to stop worrying, to stop apologizing, to... stop, just stop, and smile. For the first time in her life, she felt like speaking up because at last, it seemed like she was heard and understood.

And maybe, for the first time in her life, a spark of hope was born deep inside her soul. It was small, and it was weak. But it was there.

“It’s flattering, really... but I would be lying if I told you that I’m not afraid. Because I am. I understand you mean well, really, but... it’s going to be difficult. I don’t have it in me to lie to you and say that from now on, everything is guaranteed to be fine because I don’t feel strong at all.”

“But...” She quickly added, once again grateful for a chance to change the subject even for just a little while. “... about what you want to show me... doesn’t it have something to do with those powers of yours?”

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure·:

If she had run away, he wouldn’t have blamed her, the normal reaction of those that knew about him was to panic and escape or hide, no matter if he no longer had any intentions of hurting anyone from initiative unless he had business with said target of aggression. It had to be remarked: Indeed he could take a life with incredible ease, no matter if it wasn’t his first choice to anymore, the fact still very much remained, that was what his hands were meant to do as fate dictated… to kill, to destroy. But now he made his hands to do the complete opposite of what he was meant to do as much as he could until it mattered to act as such.

If Marianne voiced she was some monster that wasn’t worthy of life, he would not have taken that quietly whatsoever, if anything he was the monster everyone wished was buried beyond six feet under and beyond, he was the one that more than certainly didn’t deserve to live and much worse. He still chose life and for many reasons, over his unique feeling of survivor’s guilt as well deep down.

“No one is born strong.” He knew this better than anyone, “It’s something we become to our own degree at any point. The world is tough and horrible, we get dealt terrible hands in our lives at many points… but there’s always a reason to continue and we all deserve the chance at possibilities unless we truly throw it away by deciding to discard our hearts. There’s always enough in life to keep wanting to cling to it, there’s always at least one reason.”

“It’s nice to have faith, believe me, I respect it, but I don’t think said Goddess has left you… Maybe she has other plans for you, and I would like to believe the same.”

His words had left Marianne speechless as she glanced at him once more, her eyes widened in disbelief and confusion, as though she was not sure she heard him quite right. The thoughts he voiced just a few seconds ago had never come to her own mind. But, perhaps, even if they did, she wouldn’t dare consider that it could be the truth. It was not the kind of thoughts one would find to be blasphemous or wicked, and yet... and yet it was strange, for she had always thought, albeit not without caution and fear of the sinful nature of her doubts, that the very existence of this Crest was a mistake that the ever-so-benevolent Goddess, the one known for her generosity and kindness, allowed to happen, one mistake that her family could not seem to atone for no matter what. Yes. This Crest was a mistake. And so was she, as she always told herself.

What was it that she and her family were suffering for? What had they done? What were they meant to do?

Those were the questions the poor tormented soul kept asking herself, yet answers always seemed to elude her, keeping her awake at night, all alone with no one else to turn to. Never had she ever discussed this with anyone, not even the man who had taken her in out of the kindness of his heart, and until this very moment, only the silent statue of the Goddess had been her only listener.

“It is not that I do not understand what you are trying to say, but...” There were always so many buts and what-ifs, way too many for one’s fragile mind. “You and I cannot know this for sure, now, can we? I never... I never asked to be this way, I never asked to be born in the first place. I fear I lost sight of my purpose a long time ago, and I fail to find it.”

[beastscrest]

cosmicaxiom said: "Well? Do the flowers suit me?" He had given the young woman a lob sided grin. Feeling the flowers adorned in his flowing mane. It was perhaps silly and ridiculous of them to be acting as such. But such moments of reprieve in these troubling times is most welcome. Especially if Russell sought out Marianne for her company first and foremost. ( Russell @ Mari. )

“Very much so, believe it or not.”

There was not so much as a hint of irony or amusement in the young woman’s voice as she spoke with utter seriousness and firm belief in her own words. What one would probably consider a silly sight she welcomed gladly as it brought the warmest and most genuine of smiles to her face at a time when such simple joys were particularly scarce. And so there she stood before him, giving him a jokingly evaluating glance — a mere jest, something that was starting to become less and less of a rarity these days.

“At least I think so.”

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure·:

For Ragna that it had suddenly come to this it was fine, after all, he in contrast felt he made some very uncalled for digging at her life, no matter if she really had not said much until that point, and furthermore? He was okay talking about what happened to him, in the end, he already had come to terms since long ago with it and everything surrounding it.

Slowly, he let the now dead flower fall to the ground, starting to fall completely apart as it plummeted, it made him remember the time he did this to a prettier flower in the past all the same when he had barely started to travel with his master and he had to calm him down again when that happened. Truly, the times in which he was only trying to use his left arm for anything not training related or so were something he would never forget for good reason.

The dark expression on Marianne’s face made Ragna then fear the worst as he turned to her, did that make her afraid of him? He would understand either way, but still… When he heard her apologies and more, he shook his head and sighed in relief altogether that she didn’t seem to want to run away or so immediately after witnessing what had taken place.

“Thanks for the consideration, but as horrible as everything I have experienced was… In the end, I still have a chance to live for as long as I can despite everything I have done, and for that, I can’t ask for nothing else. I don’t know what weight you carry yourself and I won’t pry you for it, but in the same kind of well wishes, you too deserve better, more than you perhaps think deep down.” After all, she could not possibly have the tons of sins crawling up her back in contrast to him too.

She could run, she presumed. But she didn’t want to. Perhaps, she had gone mad, or maybe she had never been sane to begin with, and yet in the presence of this person, whose destructive powers could take one’s life in a matter of a few seconds with so much as a simple touch, she felt safer than she had ever been before. In the eyes of this man who seemed to control the never-ending darkness itself she saw emotions and feelings she knew so painfully well. Those were the eyes of a man tormented by his past that he could neither change nor run from, and in these eyes, there was a reflection of a pure and kind soul.  She recognized and understood his pain, and it spoke to her.

"You say so, but...”

And yet Marianne struggled to understand how he had managed to accept what seemed to be no different from the curse that had been haunting her family for countless generations, the curse which, she hoped, was going to end with her. For many years, she’d lived with a firm belief that she was but a monster unworthy of existence, but this man? Not only did it seem like he had accepted his fate, but also it appeared as though he was determined to life his life however he pleased in spite of his past and sins.

When she seeked death, he chose life.

“... but I just cannot understand where to find the strength to do this. You’ve been through so much, yet you’re so much stronger than me despite all odds. And I... for countless hours and days I’ve prayed, again and again, devotedly and restlessly, seeking salvation, yet it never came. Even the Goddess herself had given up on me, so how am I supposed to live?”

[sakudrew]

Marianne with her hair down 💕💖

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure·:

Force of habit to apologize? That reminded him of his youngest sister… Well, Noel. But she grew out of that and to know she didn’t have to apologize for every other thing, hopefully Marianne could do it too, it’s something hard to deal with as is. Moving past that though…

She was correct, he was perhaps talking like he knew what she was talking about, but he didn’t, it was most likely he was saying things that resonated with her and how she felt given how similar they were deep down, after all, best way to know how someone else feels… is to have experienced it yourself, no? That’s what made it seem natural all along or, again, how it seemed he knew.

There was understanding to find, more than she thought too outright, perhaps.

Ragna continued trying to give every other bird enough attention that wanted it from him as he listened to Marianne talk, but as he continued to listen, his expression went from calm and soft, to a more serious one, how… did he get to that? Indeed, his last comment had struck something he wasn’t really trying to dig for he could not have imagined it would lead into that, but what she was saying…

Oh how did it resonate with him, especially when he ‘got another arm’.

“If you really want to hurt or have something bad happen to someone, that can only happen when you wish to do it so, after all, I don’t think all these little friends would like to approach you then, would they? I know your heart and soul is in the right place too because of all of them, you don’t want to hurt anyone nor wish for the bad you say you bring, and fate is something what we can’t control sometimes.” Letting it sink in for a moment first, “…Let me show you something.” Ragna motioned the avians to get off him for a second and give him a bit of room as he spotted a small, vivid flower on the ground by his feet, taking it in his right hand and showing it to Marianne.

And right before her eyes, in his right hand, she would see the healthy picked flower suddenly wilt and go liveless, courtesy of the Soul Eater; the Black Beast draining it’s life despite him having control over it this time, “I lost my only mother figure and I can’t meet my remaining family again with ease, I used to not be able to have any control over this, I left so many living things like this flower dry and with their life stolen, from some people to not bad animals… It took me a lot to find myself again, only you can really control what good or bad you bring.” No control over good or bad from oneself… He didn’t believe in that. Let any misfortune she could bring unto him come, he’d gladly take it.

Marianne, of all people, should have known better than stepping into the territory of deeply personal matters of other people. However, before she could say a word, before she could stop him from sharing what might have been a painful tale to tell, the white-haired man did not give her a chance to object. At first, admittedly, it was a little difficult to understand what it was that she was supposed to look at. Curious and concerned, she watched and waited in silence. At the back of her mind, there was a vague sense of fear of the unknown and danger that it might have brought, and yet somehow Marianne could not bring herself to avert her gaze even for a second.

But just when the young woman thought nothing was happening, — after all, he simply picked a flower... did he not? — she let out a silent gasp before she had come to fully realize what it was that she had witnessed. In a matter of a few seconds, all life, every last bit of it, was drawn from the delicate blossom, all while he spoke of his past in a manner that was almost terrifyingly calm, which meant that he had already come to terms with his fate... something she knew oh so well.

Still, silent, she turned her frightened to Ragna. Oddly enough, as the girl quickly discovered, she was not afraid of him. Rather, she was afraid for him, a stranger whose story was so reminiscent of her own, but, at the same time, so different and so unbearably sad.

“I didn’t know...”

Her response was short, her voice was quiet and helpless. Of course she didn’t know. She couldn’t. Yet to think that she made him tell her about his past and show her the deepest and darkest of secrets... it was, without a doubt, a lot more than her poor, troubled mind could possibly take.

“I’m sorry. You’ve suffered so much... ”

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure‌:

“No? Why apologize yourself? It’s none of my business in the first place, but whatever it could have been, I wasn’t about to judge or anything of the sort, I’m the least allowed to do so either way.” Perhaps the last bit was a clear extra, but he felt it was necessary, because to him it was true, for the considered root of all evil to judge, one needed to do worse than him first, which basically does still exist.

Admittedly, he’d have all the easiness in confessiong who and what he was, but to do the full disclosure so suddenly would be… very sudden and strange to say the least.

“All I do know is that whether they know I’m good or bad the best, is that I’ll have to find fruit or so around here… Like so.” He was looking around, and pointed to the tall apple trees right above them, “That won’t be hard to reach whatsoever when I feel like it.”

“The way you mention and approach you too… That means you must also be quite good too both outside and inside, they do know the best after all, no?” The way Ragna commented on it with full confidence, it was clear he agreed with them, “What do you all think?” As he asked, looking at all the avian friends turning to face him then Marianne, and they all chirped happily, “Well… They don’t lie, huh?”

“I’m sorry, it’s force of a habit, I suppose.”

Always apologizing. Always ready to apologize for everything, even the smallest, least significant things. She had taught herself quite well. Even now, a yet another apology had found its way into her response. But this time, maybe even to her own surprise, it was lighter, simpler as it came and went, as if unwilling to stay and linger at the back of her mind. Instead, she only couldn’t help but wonder, failing to remain silent this time as she uttered somewhat shyly, as if unsure if she should have spoken of this, “Um... correct me if I’m wrong, but... once again, you speak as though you understand what I am talking about... as though you know how it feels. I do not mean to pry, yet I couldn’t help but notice, and I can’t get this off my mind...”

Maybe that was all she seeked. Understanding.

“Oh, yes, these... there’s plenty of them and I suppose I am not entirely guiltless of spoiling them, so in a way, you could say I am responsible for their taste in fruits and berries. I fear I can’t quite help it when they look at me like that.” But even though she had willingly admitted to giving in to the little birds’ whims, the young woman seemed to have spoken of it with a fair share of amusement as she did not seem to be sorry even in the slightest.

“Me?” Marianne faltered, caught off guard by a sudden compliment. “It’s... complicated, actually. Never have I ever wished anyone anything bad, never have I ever tried or desired to harm anyone, and yet... it doesn’t seem to affect animals, thank goodness, but people... some kind of misfortune always seems to fall upon them if they come near me. Sooner or later, it just catches up to them. It happened to my parents, too. Which is why you should probably stand where you are. No matter how pure my intentions are... they’re never enough.”

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure‌:

“Hmm… It’s that private then? Sorry for asking then, don’t worry about it.” He backed off, basically letting her have the relief of not having to reveal such sensitive information altogether like that, but would it stay that way for long? There was no way of truly knowing that either. He did catch on to her reaction of having brushed the truth like that too.

Indeed, there was no way he carried a weight like her’s. It could be argued it was way beyond that… Because he himself was a beast; he was destined to become one sooner rather than later if he wasn’t careful and threaten the world. But was he going to measure sticks or something awful like that with her should he be aware of her Crest? No, never. Not even once.

“I never doubted they were smart, how many animals can understand says it all.” He chose to focus on the birds instead too for good reason, “I don’t have anything to give right now, didn’t expect this many to show up, it almost makes me feel guilty altogether, maybe I’ll have to take them with me after we split ways.” Maybe? More like he totally would.

“I guess also more than ever today I see how it is true there is good in me.” Speaking without thinking, how Marianne said that earlier did strike him deeper than imagined, he never had thought about it that way, animals were truly the best judges of character, and while he was considered a root of all evil… They knew better than anyone.

“Yes... yes, you could say so. But you owe me no apologies. It is I who should apologize for being so careless.”

Despite her own apology, she smiled faintly as there was tremendous relief and gratitude that she was unable and unwilling to hide. Rumors, no matter how hard she and her father had tried to prevent them from spreading, had reached the monastery, circling around as some people talked behind her back, and quite often they did not bother lowering their voices just to make sure she never forgot her place in this society. She pretended she wasn’t listening. But she heard every last one of them.

However, Marianne remained blissfully unaware of Ragna’s struggles, one she could somewhat to, if only she knew. If only. But she didn’t. She simply couldn’t.

“Animals, no matter what kind, have pure hearts and minds. But it seems to me they are not above silly little tricks since they know people are highly likely to reward them with treats. But even so, it’s impossible to be mad at them, isn’t it?” She asked rhetorically, knowing the answer to her question just as well as he probably did.

“I’d like to think so.” For the first time in what seemed like forever, Marianne spoke with a fair share of confidence and reassurance. This, she knew, had to be true, for only animals had ever managed to ease her troubled mind when she felt trapped and unworthy of existence. Thanks to them, there were times when she could temporarily forget about her cursed, rotten heritage. “They’d never approach someone with ill intentions. To them, it’s the soul that matters.”

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure‌:

Obviously, he could not know that key aspect of what caused all of the weight she carried, but he was not only housing a literal and mythical beast that was nurturing off his body, bound to come back worse than ever, whether he liked it or not… But he also was the most wanted criminal in the world, his reputation was well established as he was hunted for more reasons than one. Again, being near Marianne was probably not a good idea.

He would understand what she was going through, after all… Ragna was bound to turn into the beast that would devour her tomorrow.

“There’s no way I… what?” As all the birds were settling in, no matter if it was by accident, the conversation was continuing, but first?

“…Yeah, I saw at least these many over the last few days I’ve been trying to go across these big lands, there’s been so many of all shapes and sizes, but I sadly don’t have that much food to give them for their trouble of coming here.” They deserved something, so that made him feel slightly guilty, “Yes, it’s me, I’m not going anywhere yet…” Ragna spoke to his small flock as they were all huddling in closer all over his lap and upper body.

“N-no, it’s... nothing. Or rather... never mind. I shouldn’t talk about it so freely. Really, don’t trouble yourself.”

Her reply was hasty and impatient, almost too much so as she rushed to drop the subject as soon as possible with a silent plea in her tired eyes and regret in her voice, as if she were apologizing for letting those words slip in the first place, as well as scolding herself with immense self-deprecation, to which she dedicated herself with passion many martyrs would envy, just like she always did, no matter how insignificant or non-existent her mistake could be.

Of course he couldn’t be the bearer of the Crest of the Beast. She was simply imagining things, and it resulted in her nearly revealing the dark history of her family to a stranger.

Perhaps, if Marianne were given enough time to think about it, the poor tormented soul would fine one thousand and one reason as to why such recklessness was worthy of a suitable punishment, but, thankfully, she did not have this opportunity as her attention was easily drawn back to the birds. Truth to be told, she had never seen a scene so extravagant, so vibrant and so breathtaking in its oddity. In fact, there were so many birds that she had almost lost sight of Ragna who now looked like a colorful, feathery mess.

“O-oh, I don’t think you should worry about it, the birds are quite smart. They know where to find food, and they share knowledge with one another... although they don’t mind a treat or two.” There was a hint of amusement in her gentle voice, as if she were saying, What am I going to do with them? “Birds are easier to get along with... aren’t they?”

[beastscrest]

ragnaofazure‌:

A big sigh? Looks like she was going to talk while the bird was busy calling out? The apprehension behind it could be felt, did he brush a bit too much against what she was keeping inside? She didn’t have to tell him much, that was also another detail she maybe was forgetting, either or, it was going to happen now for sure.

“…?” Nothing good happens when she’s around? His face was clearly one of confusion, of course, he didn’t immediately vocalize an answer, but the only way he could continue that conversation despite noticing how clearly she did not want to open up about it…

“…I guess that makes two of us then.” Yet in contrast, Ragna looked calm and accepting about saying it, sure, he earned the reason why nothing good ever happens around him, no matter if now it was for better reasons, but… misfortune normally sure followed him considering all of what is after him, not just who could be, it’s why he remained as hidden and split from anyone…

In fact, being here with Marianne… Some group of highly trained mercenaries or worse could very well be on his tail. Thankfully it wasn’t the case, otherwise he would have already felt their presences.

But going back to the bird…

“Hey, look at that.” Looking up, the gently sound of wings flapping filled the air, and a group of five… no, seven… no… More?! More bluebirds and others all started to come down and plop all over his hair for those who caught the spot first, others on his shoulders, “Not only about me, go with her too!” Pointing to them, at least half flocked over happily, she was right about old friends too, maybe?

That makes the two of us?

His words, said in such a casual and surprisingly calm manner without so much as a sign of melancholy she had grown so used to over the past several years. By that he could mean all sorts of things, none of which had anything to do with her heritage and Crest, which he couldn’t possibly know of, and yet deep within her heart, there was the first sign of a growing panic she could not seem to shake off. But with this panic came curiosity, barely noticeable behind her overwhelming anxiety, and yet it was there.

Because now there was a chance that someone in this world understood how she felt.

“What do you mean? There’s no way you...”

But whatever she had to say remained unspoken, hanging in the air as her attention was drawn to the sky. Rarely, if ever, she dared lift her gaze, and yet the magnificent sight she witnessed was worth every single second she spent looking at it, her mouth slightly agape and eyes widened in genuine awe. Birds, lots and lots of birds were approaching them so fast that Marianne had given up trying to count them all.

“Oh my goodness...’ She exhaled, as if, lost in her amazement, she’d forgotten to breathe. “It’s almost as if every single bird that lives in these woods came all the way here... all of them... at once. It’s so beautiful...”