Hello everyone! After being an outside observer of the resus/medical kink community for many, many, many years, I've decided to create a blog to share my writing, art projects, and just have some kink fun. Here's just some stuff to know
If you know who I am no you don't lol. I'm keeping my kink stuff away from my main accounts
I tend to write mostly male resus, though I will also write characters of other gender identities and sexual orientations as both victims and rescuers
I research a lot about medicine, but that doesn't mean I will always be medically accurate since I'm not a doctor. Plus, sometimes drama just wins out above medical accuracy
I will not share any photos or recordings of myself on this blog. This is purely for me to share my writing and art, as well as enjoy the works of other content creators. I am also not open to hook-ups or roleplay.
This is a side blog! So I won't be following anyone back unfortunately
I don't tend to write outright smut, just the resus portion which is more than enough for me personally
I might add a directory to this post eventually when I have stuff posed and saved up
Fem reader x self insert || has mentions of sexual acts on a person that cannot consent, CPR
I wrote this VERY lazily sorry folks had to get something out!!
need my useless weakened thump pumped back to life as you abuse my body. The feeling of my cold, limp shaft under you as you grind with each compression into my thin frame. My chest would bow with each methodical deep compression, ribs flaring as air huffs uselessly out of my lungs. Stale air traveling out, hoff! hoff! hoff!
Iām not a very large man at all, so this adds to the difficulty of resuscitation. I am a thin rock guitarist, whose heart is used to high adrenaline and an array of things that can keep a heart racing for hours at a time. My fingertips calloused as you snake a hand down to my wrist, digging deeply for some stray of life that you canāt find.
My heart needs more.
Your slick, wet pussy trails up and down my shaft with slow motions as your palms dig back in.
Thereās no time to waste.
My shoulders roll in as the deep compressions start once more, demanding my heart to beat. My stomach shifts with each thrust, arms shaking to either side of me. My lips are blue tinged under my thick beard, and in that moment, you forget- I need air!
Compressions are stopped as your body falls over mine, now chest to chest as you plug my nose to deliver your air to me. My cheeks slowly inflate as air travels down my throat, expanding it slowly before it reaches my lungs, forcing my chest up against yours. Your body grinds against mine as it does so, your ample chest forcing the air out of my body as your slick entrance grinds further against my shaft. Youāre wet, and you know that your urge is controlling you as you moan out with pleasure. My body is nothing more to you now then something to play with, as you deliver another breath, hands moving to get my dark blonde hair out of my face.
You begin to set the pace that I come back to as you raise up, taking my shaft into you slowly before your hands find their place once more. Air escapes my lungs in a big hOFF! as my heart is plummeted under the piston of your compressions. Youāre not even counting at this point, and as you circulate my blood, the flow going to my cock begins to stiffen it.
Your chest bounces between your straightened elbows as you preform deep compressions to my stalled, useless pump. My shaft throbs into you as you use my body, your hips slamming into mine as you fuck my frame. My head has lolled uselessly to the side now as my chest is caved.
And as you go, your moans get louder. The closer you get to your orgasm, the harder and faster your compressions get against my weak thump. Not wanting to waste even a minute of time with rescue breaths, you slam your hips into me as your small hands drive in, sloshing my blood through my thin frame. And as you do so, my heart begins to pick up a pathetic pace that starts to allow me to experience CPR induced consciousness. Your eyes dart to mine as they began to flutter open, having no air at all as my heart is commanded and shaft is pounded is quite the sensory experience. The entire bed is shaking with the efforts, and as you see my awareness, you double down your efforts. Thereās no telling what kind of depth is being missed due to the cushion. But this means my troubled organ is getting beaten even harsher.
I begin to let out airless gasps and moans as I beg for air, and realize that youāre not going to oblige. My mouth is dry, and tongue feeling numb as you pound into me. My shaft is rock hard in you as you pleasure yourself with me. I want to beg for air, scream, but this is the most pleasure Iāve ever felt. Though I canāt find the energy to move.
The gasping seems to turn you on more, one hand staying, compressing my heart directly over- now your palm on the left side of my sternum, crushing down, as your other hand opens my mouth and presses down my dry tongue. I want air so badly, my vision swims in tunnels, knowing that if you stops your paceā¦ Iām done.
But I need air.
You continue to thump into my heart as your fingers explore my mouth, compressions stopping as your hot lips slam into me, delivering what I needed. But as you do, I begin to fade instantly, your thrusts and desperate humps slowing since my cock is loosing stiffness. My chest rises several times, your fingers pinching my nose before hands are back on my chest, rubbing it harshly, enough to make my head fall over again. Your hands come back against me, and start slamming again.
And once againā¦ I am awake.
The crushing pain knocks the wind out of me, if only I could replace it. And as you continue to pump for me, your climax begins to near. The thrusts on my chest become deeper, the whole bed bouncing- and your slick pussy slams into my hips desperately until you begin to grind, nails gripping into my chest as compressions become sloppy.
My mouth is open, gasping for air that will not come as you begin to roll your hips and moan, my cock being used for your desperate pleasure as you slam down deeply and slow into my exhausted pump, forcing blood to slam through my body. Your hips bottom me out as you begin to orgasm, your hands crushing my chest- but not letting up as you ripple through, the orgasm shredding through your body in waves.
Though I do not reach mine, as my cock begins to soften, you come back down, kissing my cold lips as consciousness entirely fades. You blow a few breaths of air, a pity even, as you hate to see such a strong fighter die that brought you so much pleasure.
Yui succumbs to a paralytic spore on an alien planet, and it's up to Cohl to keep his heart pumping until it's out of his system. An unwelcome interruption might ruin everything. Features M resus, M rescuer, seizures (warning for brief description of urine), CPR, mouth to mouth, semi conscious intubation. The start of intubation and resus is marked in red.
The planet was sweltering and humid, thick with trees that twisted this way and that. It reminded Cohl of the rain forests back on Earth, teeming with life, damp with rich soil, and clouded in mist. Yui was not so appreciative. He hadn't stopped bitching since they arrived.
"There's no way in hell a frog is worth all this trouble," he huffed, slapping a brush out of his way. The environment was oxygen rich so neither needed helmets, but he was really starting to miss his with how often something smacked him square in the face, or some insect ended up a smear on his cheek. Cohl grinned over his shoulder. "You kidding? It basically sweats weapon grade peyote, there's already a bidding war for it." "After this, we're taking a break from the labor intensive jobs. Can't we just do a few financial crimes? Something more white collar?" Cohl blew a raspberry and cut through a thicket of vines. "Where's the fun in a rug pull?"
Truthfully, Yui wanted a rest more for his captain than himself. They were four months out from Cohl's record long clinical death, and the second in command still felt his heart squeeze whenever they took on these jobs. He felt like a mother hen, always fretting and clucking, but his mind made everything a connection to that terrible evening on the Hawk. He couldn't even lay beside him without imagining his still body being pumped and jostled by the medsystems. For so long he had wanted nothing more than to curl up against him like that, only now he woke gasping, shaken by memories. Every occupational hazard became ten times larger in his mind. Suddenly their life was not one of expected danger- it was a death sentence waiting to happen.
For days now he had been trying to think of ways to broach retirement. Would it be so terrible to stop? To rest? Their exploits had left them with enough credits to find some cozy midrise in a distant system where no one knew them and live comfortably. Part of him knew Cohl wouldn't go for that. He was the model of the swash buckling rogue, not made for grocery runs or afternoons at quaint cafes. Still, he couldn't help dreaming.
So lost in this dream, he didn't notice the loose path until his foot no longer stood on solid ground. He barely got out a harried, "Shit!" before he was rolling into an embankment, dense with moss, lichen, and prickly undergrowth that snagged holes in his suit. He stared up at the canopy, dazed for a moment when his body finally came to an abrupt halt in a bed of pokey plants. Perfect. Great. He dragged a hand down his face with an exhausted groan. Cohl's face poked out over the ridge above. "Fuck, Yui! You okay?" he called down. "Fan-fucking-tastic," he muttered under his breath and jabbed a spiteful thumbs up at his captain. Something blinked red on his wrist comm. He stared up at it. A triangular caution sign flashed, sporting a declaration all in bold block letters.
::WARNING:: MYCELITOXIN PRESENT:: PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION::
"Shit," he breathed, then, belatedly, slapped a hand over his mouth and nose. Too late, too late by far. He already tasted something thick and musty on his tongue. Cohl had begun to slide down towards him but Yui threw up his other hand and shouted, "Wait! Don't move, don't come any closer!" "What, what's wrong? You hurt?" he asked, voice rising in pitch with his surging panic. Yui's head swiveled this way and that. There- a thin cloud of yellowish spores lifted into the air to his left. He'd landed directly on the goddamn thing. He stumbled to his feet and threw himself out of the thicket, chest already heaving. Logic dictated the toxin took longer than a few seconds to fully absorb into his system, but the terrified animal part of his brain screamed that it was the cause of his racing heart. Cohl grabbed his arm before he could stop him and hauled him back up the embankment.
"Hey, hey, easy-" Yui cut him off, "Lockridge, in the- fuck- I inhaled it." He tore off the outer skin of his suit and tossed it back down into the brush, the cloud hanging like summer pollen where he'd disturbed the mushrooms. The back of it was smeared with a honey yellow dust. Enough of the toxic spores to put down a herd of elephants, easily. And he had swallowed God knew how much. He looked back to Cohl with round, terrified eyes. His captain just looked back at him with a puzzled expression. "What... what does that mean?" "Spores, Surat, for fuck's sake. Did you not look into any of the fauna records for this planet? It's a paralytic, that mushroom produces a powerful neuromuscular blocking agent. I-It shuts down everything. Everything." Cohl's fingers had gripped progressively harder and harder around his forearm until the force with which he held him had turned bruising. Blood had drained from the Captain's face by the time he'd trailed off into panting breaths.
āThereās gotta be an antidote-ā Yui cut him off with a shake of his head. The muscles in his throat stood out like iron cords as he huffed, āI didnāt think either of us would be stupid enough to land in the middle of a colony!ā He shoved a hand through his hair, gripping at the strands hard enough to yank a few loose. āOnset of symptoms is usually aroundā¦ a-around ten minutes or so. It disrupts the brainās electrical patterns and cuts off the autonomic nervous system-ā Cohl caught his second by the chin and forced him to meet his gaze. Those dark black eyes practically vibrated with panic. Cohl took a deep, deliberate breath, coaxing Yui to do the same. Then he said, in that calm timbre that promised only happy endings at the end of the adventure, āWhat would you do to a patient that wasnāt you?ā
Not himself. A heart that was not his own, beating so hard out of his chest it made his sternum jump. A brain that was not his most valuable tool. A life that was not his own to lose. Yui took another long, shuddering breath. āThereās no way to get the Hawk down here before the symptoms start. Even if we got her down here, there wouldnāt be a way to synthesize an antidote in time. Lockridgeā¦ it hits hard and it hits fast. But it metabolizes fast too. Fauna records indicate itās usually fatal because theā¦ the animal unlucky enough to come across the plant goes into respiratory and cardiac arrest, and by the time the toxin leaves their system, theyāve been too long without oxygen. They experience brain death and become a soil bed for the mushrooms. So weā¦ youā¦ā He swallowed, throat clicking audibly. āIf you can keep my heart beating long enough for the toxin to break down in my bloodstream, then itāll release the chokehold on my autonomic systems. Spontaneous return of circulation. Minimal brain damage. Itāll be like going under heavy anesthesia for a little while. Youāre my ventilator.ā
Cohlās fingers slid into Yuiās hair and over his scalp, bringing both hands up to cup his face between his palms. Terror gripped the very core of his being, but he didnāt let it show. Couldnāt. Not when his doc was staring up at him, pale with fright. This man had done so much for him. Had saved him from death more than once. Yui was the only reason he even stood in the middle of this godforsaken jungle today. āHow long?ā He asked. Yuiās throat bobbed when he swallowed again. āAbout fourteen minutes. With decent perfusion I should still get enough oxygen to my brain to avoid too much damage.ā Cohl smirked. āItād be a shame to waste a brain like that,ā he said softly, pressing both thumbs to the other manās temples. Tears gathered in those dark wells and he reached up, covering Cohlās hands with his own. āYouāre an idiot,ā he breathed.
The timer ticked down with relentless indifference as they made their preparations. As much as they could with minimal supplies. They put in an order for the Hawk to descend, but it would be easily twenty minutes until it made it out of low orbit and to their location. They had only what was in their packs. Of their belongings Yui gathered a few things; the heating/cooling blanket, the emergency ventilator, a wireless steth, and the stash of syringes. He made sure to pluck the two containing adrenaline from the pack. For once, Cohl was glad of his paranoid insistence on overpacking. They drew the cooling blanket around his shoulders and it hummed with bluish white coils up its length. Eight minutes had passed, and already Yui felt light headed. Sweat broke out across his forehead, even as he shivered with cold. His skin had taken on a pale, waxen look. They found a relatively safe patch of soft soil to lay him down on. Then it was just a matter of waiting for the inevitable.
āThe laryngoscope might be a little tricky,ā he said without looking over at Cohl. He simply stared up at the canopy while his fingers drummed restlessly against his chest. āItās less sophisticated than the one in the MedBay, doesnāt have a guidance system. Just try not to knock out any teeth.ā
Cohl sat at his side, cross legged with his head propped up in his palm. He smiled faintly. āI think youād look cute with a missing tooth. Like a hockey player.ā āYou have weird taste in men.ā āIād love to argue that but I donāt think I legally can. I mean, Iām into you after all.ā The corners of Yuiās lips curled, yet the smile didnāt touch his eyes. āAnd donāt try to shove anything in my mouth when I start seizing,ā he went on, āYouāre only liable to choke me. Just make sure I donāt hit my head.ā āYui.ā āAnd if the Hawk makes it here in time, thereās a portable defib unit on the inner wall of the airlock. Just in case.ā āYui,ā Cohl said once more with a bit more insistence. āAnd the adrenaline is in an intracardiac needle, so you have to inject it into the fourth inercostal space between the ribs, here-ā He pointed to a spot on his chest, but Cohl covered one of his chilly hands with warm fingers. Finally the second in command met his gaze. Cohl brushed a strand of hair out of his face with such tenderness, Yui nearly burst into tears then and there.
āItās gonna be okay,ā said the Captain in a hushed voice, āIām gonna take care of you, right? You think Iād let anything happen to you?ā Yui turned his hand palm up to slide his fingers into the spaces between Cohlās. āIā¦ yeah, of course I know you wouldnāt. I justā¦ itās, yāknow, good to be prepared.ā āI am. Youāre gonna wake up back on the ship, and weāll be a thousand light years away from this stupid planet. And Iāll never drag you on a hiking mission again.ā Yui huffed out of his nose in a bare minimum laugh. Ten minutes. The timer on his wrist comm ran on and on, the milliseconds flying by while the minutes seem to crawl one by one. His heart beat a little harder- he couldnāt decide if it was the anxiety or the toxin anymore. Was the dread pooling in his stomach a precursor to the first symptom, or was he just that afraid? His eyes flicked from the canopy to Cohl and back and forth again. The words spilled out before he could stop them.
āI donāt wanna die, Surat.ā
Cohl blinked, then his brow furrowed. āHaruki-ā āI wanna retire,ā he blurted out, because he couldnāt stop now, not if this was the last time they might speak, āI wanna go somewhere no one knows our names and live in some shoebox apartment with a view. I wanna wake up every morning beside you and not worry if itās the last time Iāll see you. I want- I w-want to live an actual life with you, not some adventure serial but a life-ā His breath came shorter and shorter until he was near panting. Without warning Cohl grabbed the front of his suit and hauled him up. His next words died as he was suddenly held against his captainās chest, his legs, numb, he realized with increasing dismay, folded on either side of Cohlās lap. A strong hand cupped the back of his head, cradling it against the other manās shoulder so his face was buried against his neck. He had a good neck, Surat Cohl. Strongly corded with muscle and soft with brown downy hairs. Yui instinctively burrowed his face against that warm neck, feeling the heat of tears on his face before he even noticed heād begun crying. The cooling blanket puddled around his waist as he drew his arms up around Cohlās body.
āCome back after all this,ā the Captain murmured against the shell of his ear, āAnd Iāll do whatever you want. Iāll be whatever you want. Even if itās just some moisture farmer on a podunk planet.ā Yuiās arms tightened. āDo you really mean that?ā He rasped, unbelieving something so good might befall him for once. āI do.ā Cohlās fingers tightened against the other manās back as he said, quieter, āI donāt want to keep putting you in these positions. I canāt do this to you anymore, Haruki. Iāve nearly lost you one too many times. And despiteā¦ well, I may be an idiot, but I do learn my lesson. Eventually.ā
Yui buried his nose against the sweat dampening his captainās throat. Something like a cloud was descending, darkening his brain. The first symptoms, the really bad ones, were due to start any second. Heād be completely dependent on this man, down to the beat of his heart. It was as romantic and thrilling as it was utterly terrifying. His breaths came quicker. His fingertips ached where he dug them into Cohlās back.
āDonāt let me go,ā he begged quietly, even as it pained him to sound so pathetic and useless. He was a man in control of himself, it was for want of control he went to (and flunked out of) med school in the first place. He detested this feeling of being at the whim of a capricious universe. He loathed that he wouldnāt even be in control of his own breathing soon. Cohl just held him tighter. āI wonāt, I swear It. Iāll fight for you as hard as you fought for me.ā That would be a tall order. Only a few months ago, he had been laying beside him on what should have been a death bed, feeling a mechanical rhythm beaten into his corpse. But he was warm now. And soft. And even when his words stopped making sense, even when Yuiās dark eyes grew glassy and rolled halfway under his lids, he felt the closest thing he could to safety in those arms.
When the first tremor ran through his second in command, Cohl tightened his arms around him. āIāve got you,ā he murmured against his cheek as muscles began to clench and unclench through Yuiās body. His core and back strained, bowed, bucking harshly in and out as he lay crumpled in Cohlās embrace. His arms stiffened at his sides, wrists bending at awkward angles while his shoulders began to jerk. Cohl slid a hand between their pressed cheeks, so when his head began to thrash to the side, he didnāt end up knocking them both unconscious. He instinctively rocked their bodies back and forth as Yui began to seize in earnest- he practically fought the warm arms around him, thrashing nearly out of his grip. Tendons bulged in his neck, corded in his arms, stood out in his shoulders. His body bowed forwards over Cohl and then snapped back the other way. His legs moved restlessly, making tracks in the dirt where his boots scraped back and forth.
āYouāre okay, youāre gonna be fine,ā Cohl murmured, more for himself than the spasming body in his arms. Yuiās brain was misfiring too badly for words to get through. But he hoped, somehow, that he understood Cohlās presence if nothing else. There had to be some part of him that knew he was there, holding him. He swept damp hair from his sweaty forehead and kissed him there, the ridge of his brow, his temple. He could feel a pulse pounding there, his heart punching against his ribs hard enough Cohl felt it through the other man's entire body. His throat worked, bobbing soundlessly against his shoulder until it seemed to uncork and a guttural snorting sound replaced the silence. His jaw spasmed open with each weak attempt for air, his brain scrambling for the familiar comfort of his autonomous systems. Lungs, air. Heart, contract. His cheek rubbed back and forth over Cohl's clavicle, muscles spasming in his throat.
Wet rasps rattled out of Yui's mouth, hanging open with each short circuited attempt at air. His tongue pressed against his bottom teeth, partially obstructing his airway whenever he took a breath, worsening the sounds of his struggle. Cohl wanted to just grab the damn thing and pull it forward, out of his way, but knew he'd just end up with teeth reflexively baring down on his thumb for the trouble. Instead he slapped his second between the shoulder blades, shifting his position in his lap to try and open his airway. His head lolled back without resistance, cupped in the palm of one hand. "Take a breath, doc," he growled between gritted teeth, "A real one, not this gasping shit." His only response was a strangled grunt.
Since he was straddling his lap, Cohl felt the moment his bladder loosed warm urine down the inner seam of his suit and across his thighs. He stroked the smaller manās cheek with a thumb. āI gotcha, doc. You're alright," he assured him in a tremulous voice. Color had drained from Yui's face, the exposed whites of his eyes making the pallor all the more alarming. A faint blue crept around the edge of his mouth. His throat worked, his chest heaved, but no breath would get in. Cohl eased him to the dirt, a hand on his forehead to still his head. His other slapped his sternum with an open palm. A hollow thud echoed in the quiet jungle, forcing another choked gag out and little else. He wasn't getting air. Cohl swiftly pinched his nose shut and crashed their mouths together. Resistance stopped his breaths short. They puffed out Yui's cheeks and stalled halfway down as his airway spasmed with those awful gurgling noises.
His eyes cut over to the laryngoscope amid the neatly set array of tools. He had only performed intubation on a few dummies at Yui's behest. The tool was advanced enough it could do part of the work for him. Not all of it. There was still every chance he could hurt him, and he had no idea if you even were supposed to intubate patients in active seizure. The dusting of blue around Yui's lips and flexing tongue were cause enough for him to try. However long this stage lasted, he couldn't ride it out without oxygen getting to his brain. Cohl moved to cradle his head in his lap, hooked his fingertips under the hard edge of his second's jaw, and drew his mouth down.
His shoulders still shook this way and that, arms curled against his chest, his abdomen tensed almost painfully. His airway was tight. The blade eased down his trachea, but Cohl's grip was iron just to draw it open enough for the tube. His hand shook from the effort of keeping it open long enough to actually intubate. There was a moment of panic when he stared down at the mess of pink flesh and couldn't see the larynx. Sweat broke out over his entire body- he scrambled to make sense of what he'd been taught. Pressure, pressure, you were supposed to apply pressure if you couldn't see the larynx then an assistant- fuck, he was alone for all of this. Against every protocol in the book, he took the handle of the blade between his teeth and pinched the narrow strip of cartilage Yui had told him about and the larynx opened in a dark chasm at the bottom of his line of sight. All the while Yui rasped and grunted and choked on the blade. Every part of him wanted to just tear the damn thing out of his throat and apologize for the pain he was causing. No going back now. He pushed the endotracheal the last few inches, inflated the cuff, and took the blade back up with trembling fingers. Belatedly he thanked his lucky stars he wouldn't have to do rescue breaths. His own came far too shallow and rapid to offer even himself enough oxygen.
He stuck the wireless steth ear piece in one ear and pressed the diaphragm against Yui's chest. It stuck fast wherever he put it, leaving his hands free. It was the first time hearing his heart slamming against his ribcage during this strenuous seizure. The poor thing galloped, racing hard enough it visibly jumped against the tight fit of his space suit. Cohl unzipped down to his navel and nestled the bell closer to his sweaty skin as he gave a few tenuous breaths with the bag. Air whooshed into his lungs. Good placement, at least, he thought it sounded good. By the time he was done Yui's muscles had finally started to slacken as the seizure ebbed. His dark lashes fluttered, his eyes easing back down from the depths of his skull, the movements slowly easing from thrashing to small jerks. The relief was short lived. With the relaxation of his muscles there also came the slowing down of his pulse. What once throbbed in a terribly fast rhythm began to wind down like an old clock. The drop was a slow slide into cardiac arrest, and Cohl knew it. There was nothing to do but wait for that rhythm pounding in his ears to stop. Wait for the next battle he'd have to fight to keep Yui at his side.
He wiped sweat and spit from his mouth with the back of his sleeve, one hand constantly pumping Yui's lungs. The little display on the stethoscope's bell glowed with 170 bpm. The numbers rolled down to 150. Then 120. Then 90. His second in command stared up with eyes already gone glassy and empty. Cohl cupped his cheek. "It's okay," he whispered as the display read a rapidly descending heart rate. It reflected in the stethoscope's output too- the too-quick stride gradually moved slower and slower, the chambers of his heart struggling more and more to squeeze out blood. Thumpthumpththump thump thump thump thump thump th thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Thump.
Th...
The final pathetic half beat left his body in silence. For a brief moment, Cohl could only stare down at him. Everything seemed to stop for a second that stretched into eternity. He'd actually heard it. He'd heard the last beat of his heart. The way his lungs emptied in a long sigh that fogged up the endotracheal tube. Yui stared back up at him, a hollow shell. A body. All the lights had gone out.
It was the glaring red 0 on the steth's display that brought him back around. It only stayed like this if Cohl let it. Pushing two full pumps of air into rapidly starving lungs, he balled up a fist and brought it down hard against Yui's sternum. It bounced with a percussive thud, a sound that nearly deafened him as it echoed in his ear piece. As loud as it was outside his body, it was worse inside, bouncing off the walls of his chest cavity. The shock forced out a few weak attempts from his heart, like he'd slapped it awake, before it went still. He struck him again. Nothing that time. The paralytic was doing its job and ceased any and all movement in his body. Cohl rose up on his knees, hovering over the top of the other manās head, planted the heel of one palm in the middle of the still, sunken chest, right between his nipples, and drove down with all his weight. Yuiās stomach rippled, straining against the seam of his suitās zipper. He was a fairly slim man, smaller than Cohl by a good deal. Waves rolled through his body with each downward thrust. His head bobbed, pulling at the intubation tube Cohl still held with his free hand. One of his arms stretched out to the side, carving a line in the dirt where his hand rocked back and forth. His other lay against belly, following the motion as it swelled and collapsed back again.
āUnk knk hn khnā¦ā Huffs of air drove out of his lungs and rasped around the tube in his trachea in time with compressions. āI know, baby,ā Cohl whispered to the aching silence and stillness that seemed to form a bubble around them in this forgotten jungle, āIām sure it hurts like hell. Iām sorry. Just a few minutes, alright? Youāll be back in a few minutes.ā His gaze flicked to the timer. Two minutes had passed since he had a heartbeat. He had to keep this up for fourteen minutes, maybe more. Time had never moved so slowly. Already his shoulder strained. One handed compressions werenāt going to cut it the whole time. He reached the end of the cycle, short of breath, and squeezed two breaths in. Yuiās chest rose, hovered for a moment as Cohl held the bag briefly, then sunk back down with a slow rattle partially muffled by plastic. The captain shifted positions to kneel beside him. āYouāre gonna be okay,ā he told him, and wasted precious moments to briefly run a hand over those hollow eyes, forcing the lids down. He couldnāt stand to look into them anymore. It all felt too real staring into that dead gaze.
He stacked his hands, squared his shoulders, and once more dove into compressions. Without him holding it steady, Yuiās head lolled to the side. Something gave way inside his chest with an audible pop. Bile rose in Cohlās throat. He wanted to scream. He wanted to beg. He wanted to slap the little idiot around for putting him through this. There was no point. He had to focus, he had to be the unshakable piston, the unfeeling, unthinking, unloving process of a heartbeat and lungs. A heart didnāt beat for any reason other than because it had to. Fourteen minutes until the Lockridge was out of his system and his body remembered it had a job to do. And that beautiful brain, those dark and deep eyes, that heart too big for the world of outlaws and thieves- all of it would come back.
āYou have to come back,ā Cohl breathed out, each word punctuated by another shove. With his head straining to the side, the pulse his compressions forced into Yuiās silent body visibly throbbed in the column of his throat. His skin was cool, but not distressingly so. There was even still color in his cheeks, even if it was a few shades lighter than it should be. If he just didnāt look at the dark stain down the inner seam of his suit, he just looked sick, not dead. That was something. Something to hold onto.
Six minutes passed. Eight since the seizure had stopped. A lifetime since Yui had curled up beside him in the darkness of the Hawkās sleeping quarters, lips tracing the line of his jaw and shoulder. Cohl slammed his hands into his sternum. āā¦Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty. Almost there, doc, just a bit longer.ā He took the oxygen bag between both hands and squeezed until his fingertips met. Yuiās chest rose. Fell. The breaths made a quiet kuhh, koo, kuhh, koo, as it went in and out of his lungs. The grief Cohl had smothered and stuffed into some deep corner of his mind slipped its bonds then. His breath came short, a sob bubbling out of him before he could stop it. Rationality screamed at him that this wasnāt the time to break down, not when every cycle brought Yui closer to returning. Love, ever the irrational emotion, broke his resolve, even if only momentarily. He doubled over Yuiās body, forehead pressed to his clavicle. While the rest of him had cooled considerably, it was warm there from the heat of Cohlās hands, colored a motley tapestry of blues and purples in the vague shape of his hands. The steelās display read a complete flatline. Knowing it was accurate, knowing it was a waste of time, Cohl turned to pressed his cheek hard against the apex where Yuiās heart should have beat up against his ribs. Silence. A well-tuned machine at a complete standstill.
āDonāt stay dead,ā Cohl groaned, tears spilling down his cheeks and soaking into his secondās chest hair. āIāll be whatever you want. Iāll be some no-name pacifist. Iāll be a salaryman. Iāll be anything you want me to be if youāll just wake up. Huh? Wake up, Haruki.ā His body shuddered as he dragged in a breath. He kissed the ridge of his clavicle, then his cheek, the inner curve of his nose, the lashes of his left eye. āPleaseā¦ please, just fucking wake up!ā He pushed himself up, hands on Yuiās shoulders, and shook the man to no avail. His head hung limp, the intubation tube hanging from between his slack teeth as Cohl drew him up and slammed his down. āWake up!ā He bludgeoned Yuiās sternum with the bottom of a fist- once, twice, a third time. The next round of compressions were accompanied by staccato sobs as he thudded his palms into the center of Yuiās chest.
Another four minutes. The timer ran faster and faster, but time never seemed to move forward. It felt like he would be here forever, forcing a heart to beat that was incapable of beating on its own. He would have, too. He would have stayed like this forever if that was what it took. It didnāt matter that his lungs burned with exhaustion, or that he could barely feel his arms anymore. He might have collapsed were it not for the gathering signs the Lockridge was wearing off. Yuiās skin had begun to flush, his oxygen starved tissue better soaking in the blood Cohl forced through his body. Agonal gasps had started to fight the intubation. Occasionally his mouth spasmed against the tubing as a choked noise left his throat. A terrible sound, but one that meant his brain was still trying to breathe. The seconds wasted to lift his eyelid were not in vain- his pupils shrunk when the light hit them. Still in there. Two more minutes.
Cohlās adrenaline had started to dip, but it came roaring back into his veins with a vengeance. His hands thudded harder against the bruised and broken chest of his second in command, pumping more than he thought was even possible after this long. āAlmost there,ā he panted, his whole body involved now. It felt like every muscle responded. He sat straddling Yuiās hips, each lash against his sternum reverberating down to his toes. A mad peal of laughter overtook him. āI know youāre in there, I can feel you in there. Cāmon, Yui. Cāmon!ā
His blood rushed so loudly in his head, he didnāt hear the shift in the jungle around him. He wasnāt aware of the mechanical hum that disrupted the quiet dance of nature until it was too late.
At the end of another cycle, as he reached up to force air into his body, pain erupted from a point in his back. Cohlās vision whited out for a second as his muscles locked up under a sudden lightning strike square in the spine. His teeth clenched hard enough to ache, fingers curling in a claw midway to the oxygen bag, his spine curving back as every nerve ending sang with agony. He didnāt see the world shift, didnāt feel himself fall, until his sight came back in a new perspective. He was crumpled on his side in the dirt, drool hanging in a wet string from the corner of his mouth. His whole body buzzed with the aftershock. Having spent the last twelve minutes in the rhythm of Yuiās heartbeat, it felt like he was still in motion. His brain rushed to catch up.
Polished black boots filed past his narrowed line of sight. A figure crouched beside Yuiās head- āNo!ā Cohl screamed, āNo, no! Donāt touch him! I-I almost had him back, just hold on-ā When he tried to surge forward, another shot of electricity stopped him dead. He cried out, writhing involuntarily, veins standing out with strain, until the shock stopped and he abruptly went still again. His eyes rolled in their sockets up towards the figure.
An older man with slicked silver hair, clad in the black and red military garb of the Peace Force. They were anything but peaceful. Especially when it came to outlaws like the two of them. The officer pulled off his cap and dangled it casually from his fingers as he surveyed the downed man. āHaruki Yui, I presume. Looks like our work is already halfway finished.ā Cohl squirmed with nerveless limbs, clawing closer to the officer. āPlease,ā he choked out, āJustā¦ just a couple more minutesā¦ He was coming back-ā āLooks pretty dead to me.ā Cohlās stomach turned over inside him as the officer curled his fingers around the endotracheal tube, that delicate thread he had worked so hard- he tore it free from his throat in a single tug. Mucus hung from the end, splattered against Yuiās cheek, and he casually tossed it aside. Then he stood, forcing Yuiās head to face Cohl with the tip of his boot against his temple, holding him there as blood trickled from between his lips.
āStop it, leave him alone!ā Cohl bellowed, squirming against binds he hadnāt even felt locking his arms behind him, āYui! Yui! He was coming back, goddamnit I almost had him back!ā The officerās only reply was to apply more weight against his skull. Cohlās stopped fighting in an instant and whimpered, āJust let me keep going, please! Just a little while longer!ā
āBounty says dead or alive. Less of a hassle if oneās already dead.ā
Cohlās stricken wails echoed through the trees as the two of them were dragged into an escort vehicle hovering nearby. Only one of them provided any resistance.
If you're interested in the background story/explanation of this, here's the post with all the important posts about this universe (you have to scroll down for the Fingertips Universe a bit). If you have any questions, my ask box is open, but no kinkshaming will be tolerated.
Content Warnings: Nonexplicit gore, panic attacks, CPR, electrocution, defibrillation, graphic descriptions of heart attack, mentions of death (but nobody dies here)
Wordcount: 2,931
Desc: Sollux and Lemmon are trying to activate her psionics so that she'll be able to use them, but things go wrong.
Be aware. This is a self indulgent thing I wrote about an idea I had regarding my OC being electrocuted. And this is an NSFW blog. Whump and resus are kinks of mine, and this is 100% a fetish piece. I intend for this to be seen way more by the cardio/resus community than the Homestuck community. It's not my best work but eh, I wanted to post it anyway. My askbox is always open if you have any questions regarding Lemmon. Anyway, enjoy!
"Do you think this is even gonna work?" Staring down at her knees, she squeezes your hand tighter. Her voice gets quiet, and you don't know if you should squeeze back because it seems like things might get too intimate if you do. You don't want to sway too far into something and give Lemmon the wrong idea about you, or worse, make her lose interest in you all together. "I didn't even know they were there before I met you."
It's just like you to smudge your quadrants hard enough to be swinging flush for your diamond, on top of leaning pale for your spade and bleeding pitch for your heart.
Hopeless Sollux Captor, always stuck between a rock and a fucking hard place.
You respond. "I don't know." Bluntly. "But if it does, it might make your life a little easier." Her breathing becomes audible then, there being a noticeable spike in the tempo. And this time you can't help but squeeze back. Trying to be reassuring and grounding before she has a chance to spiral. "Remember, you asked me. You can back out. I won't make fun of you." You snicker, flashing her a smirk in hopes of keeping her calm. "Too much."
She rubs her thumb back and forth in your palm, still boring a hole into the floor in front of the couch. This goes on for about a minute before she sucks in a breath, holds it, and lets herself fall onto your shoulder. You nearly jolt, sparks flying and shooting off inside of your bile sac like you haven't held her like this already before. It embarrasses you. How you're still getting tied up in knots over her. But you keep it pretty well hidden, you think.
Lemmon goes slack, letting her held breath out in a loud puff. Your eyes catch her naked chest, the inner-workings of which have you mesmerized. The steady throb of her bloodpusher, and the rhythmic swell of veins and arteries to the tune of it. You try not to focus on it at the best of times, because you've learned that it can make her uncomfortable. But you figured that it would be hard to unblock her psionics if you weren't able to see her sparks going off from inside.
She wanted you to try and drag them out of her. Which sounds pretty ludicrous, if you're being honest with yourself. But the both of you have no real way of knowing if she does actually have access to that power unless you can manage to unblock whatever is keeping them from conducting. Part of you wondered if it was her fish parts, but you saw no reason why they would interfere. Considering Her Imperious Cuntdescension can use them with no issue.. It could be the shape of her horns. They aren't really built for stable electric function, but they have good sharp ends. No matter how long you think about it, the only conclusion you can come to is that the psi is being blocked, not that her body isn't capable of using them.
"Sorry. I know." She turns her head, resting her cheek in the dip of your collarbone. "I want to try, I think I'm just scared. Whenever they try to get out, it hurts. What if this hurts, Sollux?" You watch in awe as Lemmon's pusher starts to beat faster, right before your eyes. And you place the hand that isn't currently being squished between the two of you over her thigh.
"If it hurts, we can stop. Just say the word.",
"Should we establish like- a.. a safe word?" You laugh.
"What??",
"I don't know!",
"This isn't a BDSM thing LM-",
"I know! Nevermind!" Leaning your head down, you have to crane your neck a little, you rub your cheek on your palemate's hair.
"Just say stop. Or like. Yell. It will probably be really obvious if you're in pain." You lift your hand off of her leg and flick her forehead. "You're kinda dramatic." She jumps in your arms, but not in a bad way. And then she sits up, still holding your hand in a vice grip. You can feel your own pusher hammering away in the ridges of your fingers between hers.
"Okay. Yeah... Okay.." Finally, Lemmon looks at you. And you can tell by the look on her face that she is trying hard to hide how nervous she is. She doesn't conceal it well, she never really has. Eridan isn't exactly perceptive enough to notice how little this girl has together, but you are. You haven't ever had trouble on that front, with anyone.
You decide to cross your legs, turning all the way towards her as you do, and grabbing her other hand. "Take a few breaths. This will be easier for me if the current is steady." She does as you ask without hesitating, and you let her go on on until you can't feel her trembling anymore. Until her shoulders untense and her eyelids slip shut. It always seems so easy for her to relax around you. She isn't constantly on guard like you've observed her with literally anyone else. Even now that she's used to living with ED, he still scares her, she's still hiding shit from him and that keeps her on high alert. You can't blame her, but you wish that there was more you could do, beyond the chipping away at his psyche that you're already doing, to make things less stressful for either of them.
You almost want to ask her to move in with you instead. But your hive is a disheveled mess, it's no place for any troll to be living in, and besides. You couldn't do that to Eridan. It would probably destroy him to be left alone. He would definitely blame himself or think that she hated him or something.
"I think I'm ready." LM snaps you out of your thoughts, and you quickly adapt. Bringing yourself back to Alternia.
"You sure?" She nods. Her eyes are full of trust. That's the exact kind of look that you want to see on your moirail's face when you're about to do something crazy with them. You do your best to steel your own nerves, and then look down at your hands. Just to double check that your fingers are still interlocked with hers. "This is going to feel really weird."
You feel the hair lift off of your neck as you begin sending test jolts of energy through her arms. She winces, but otherwise seems fine. You though, you're hitting a brick wall. You keep hitting something that sends your psionics bouncing backwards, straight back into you. It's simply impossible for you to connect your circuit with hers, even though you can feel it there. Buzzing.
Lemmon's breathing is picking up again, but you don't want to give up so fast. You don't want to disappoint her. There has to be some kind of work around. Lifting your head back up, you examine her expression. It doesn't look like she's in any pain. She just looks nervous again.
"Alright.. So... I'm hitting a wall here LM." She swallows, looking at you all dopey. Like she has nothing to say and is just waiting for you to keep talking. You keep the current going.
"How do you- How do I channel it?" Her question comes out slowly. Her voice is wavering, unsure. And you didn't expect it from her after she sat there silent for so long.
You lock yourself back down, and tell her seriously. "Try to picture your energy. Your life energy. Flowing around inside of you. And then try to picture that energy flowing out of you like an invisible hand. Like you could reach out and grab something with it. In this case I guess you'd be trying to grab onto mine and connect your circuit with mine.. I think if I can get through your barrier and manage to touch yours that it'll open the door permanently." With her reaching out too, it might actually work.
After a few minutes of continuing your same ministrations, you feel the buzz radiating her start to get stronger. You're almost shocked into freezing, it nearly causes you to stop completely. She grips you harder, huffing like she's just finished running a marathon.
"Holy shit-!" Lemmon whines as you push further. And as the static in the room gets stronger, you can start to feel her barrier bending. Making way for you. "Yes! You're actually doing it!"
"Nnnngh! Nn- R-really?",
"Yes yes! Keep trying, I think I've almost-" You just barely feel the crash of one Lemmon's sparks colliding with yours, drawing your gaze back to your entangled hands. You can actually feel the wall shatter against you, and then you're flowing freely through her. It makes your head rush, finally being able to connect with her this way. "I've got it! Haha!! I actually have it!"
But the excitement is short lived. Once you notice that she's started shaking again. And gone from huffing to full-blown hyperventilating.
You jerk back up when you hear her wince in front of you. She's sucking down air like the room has been totally depleted of oxygen. Your fingers scream in pain as she crushes them and digs her claws into the back of your hands. She's clearly in pain.
So you do what you said you would. And you let go.
You cut the circuit off, thinking that it would lock her energy back behind the wall. Or at the very least stop the pain. But it did neither of those things. Instead, you watched in horror as Lemmon's psionics failed to exit her body on their own. They stayed stuck underneath her skin, wreaking havoc on her insides while you sat there helpless.
First, her entire body went tense, and she fell off of the couch. You followed her down. "Fuck!" Then she grit her teeth, her eyes blew open wide. Wider than you have ever seen before. You grabbed her hands again and desperately tried to reconnect the circuit you had established. But it's too erratic now. You aren't able to sync up with her, at least not this quickly. "Fuck- no!!"
You've never been more afraid in your life as your panicked gaze flickered to the center of your moirail's chest once again. Staring dumbfounded as bright green and deep blue sparks zip through her veins and encircle her organs. Her blood pusher is doing anything but. It quivers inbetween her lungs, which are no longer expanding or contracting, fighting in vain against the onslaught of untamed electricity. Your stomach turns to ice at the sight.
What do you do? How do you fix this? If it goes on much longer like this, she'll drop dead. You're frozen in place, unable to do anything except watch.
It's like you're 6 again. All you can see is Aradia, covered in blood, slumped in your thin teenage arms. Dead. Because of you.
No. You can't get swept up in your wrigglerhood shit. Not now. You aren't being controlled, you still have autonomy and power. There has to be something that you can do. "LM, don't do this to me." So you bite down on your lip, hard enough to draw blood, to snap you out of it. And you think. What else is there?
You could try and zap her directly in the pump. That could at the very least get it to actually beat properly. And you're already familiar with it because of your own mutation. So maybe if you can get it back to normal, you'd be able to calm the static down and gain access to the current again.
Yeah. That's not much but it's a plan. It's something.
You quickly lay Lemmon out on her back, and place both of your hands directly over her trembling bloodpump. Charging your psionics directly into the tips of your fingers, and then shooting them down. It works! You see the accursed thing actually stop and beat. Before it stumbles back into tachycardia.
"Come on-" You shock her again. Another normalish beat. And then arrhythmia. "Come onnnn-" The second time, you could almost feel everything calm down. But she still isn't breathing, and she hasn't been for awhile. You don't want to look at her face, you almost can't bear it, but you don't know how long her brain can go without oxygen.
Leaning in, trying as hard as you can to keep your emotions under control, you lock your lips with hers. And fuck, they're getting cold. You attempt to push air into her lungs, but it comes out of her scent sponge at first, so on the second breath you reluctantly remove one of your hands from her sternum and plug her nostrils between your fingers. After it feels like you've breathed for her enough, you send another jolt into her. This time, you manage to establish a connection with her body's normal electrical system. Making it possible for you to block the psionics directly with your own by fully taking over for her circulatory system.
The relief is intense. You can feel every single muscle in your body let go, and before you even realize that it's happening, you can feel tears dripping off of your chin.
You aren't a crier. So you aren't sure why you're crying now. Now that everything is good. Or that it's getting there. Lemmon still isn't breathing on her own yet, even though you're pumping her blood for her. "Please. I'm doing all the work here, could you just throw me a bone?" Deliberately avoiding her unfocused, drooping eyes, you go back in to breathe for her again.
You continue like this for an amount of time that you legitimately have no idea how to measure. Seconds dragging by like hours as every moment you're wondering if you weren't fast enough, weren't strong enough. And when Lemmon's chest finally expands on it's own, it almost doesn't feel real. "Yes! LM-"
Her body tries to jerk itself upwards while she gasps, but you keep her lying down with your hands. When she starts to gag, you roll her over so that her head is facing the floor. And then when she convulses and pukes, you pat her back. You don't think you're crying anymore, which is good. Lemmon is conscious, that's better. And that's what matters.
"Are you- Do you need a mediculler?" You could get Nepeta to take her to a refugee camp for treatment. It probably wouldn't deplete any of their resources just to take a look at her. But she shakes her head violently as she coughs up what's left of the contents of her bile sac onto your carpet.
"No! No medic- cullers-" You keep your hold on her blood pusher steady, terrified of letting go. You can't. You won't. Not until she's stable again. "I'll l- ive.",
"Holy shit." There's a tremor settling deep in your bones. Like your brain is, at last, allowing itself to thaw and wander. And despite not wanting to go there, your mind is flooded again with thoughts of your wrigglerhood diamond, and your weighing failure to save her.
This weight that has followed you into adulthood, that's made you so self-sacrificing. So willing to allow yourself to come to harm or discomfort if it means that your friends will avoid being hurt due to caring about you. Why even now, you still can't tell them about your approaching helm assignment. Because you know that they'll want to save you. And you can't bear the thought of anyone else dying because of you ever again.
You almost did it again, all on your own. And it's burning you inside.
You managed to actually help Lemmon though. You saved her. She's awake and breathing and your hands aren't coated in her blood.
Against your wishes, the tears have begun to flow again. Your face flush with gold, hot and sweaty. Continuing to pat and rub Lemmon on the back while she collects herself, you try to slow down. Slow down and realign your body with the things around you.
"I- 'm sorry." Here it comes. The dam burst and now that she can talk again, she's showering you in undeserved apologies like this whole fiasco wasn't your fault. "I'm sorry I'm sorry-"
You can't take it. But when you try to retort, to combat her onslaught of remorse, you find yourself unable to speak. Your glasses have fogged up with wetness, you just can't stop it. The girl lifts herself back up, fluids trailing down her face from her lips. And you pull her close, leaning back against the front of the couch. You bury your hand in her hair, brushing the sides of your fingers against the base of her horns and drinking in the way it feels when she shivers in response. All the while continuing to keep tabs on her electrical signals, continuing to support them and wondering if she even realizes.Ā
She probably doesn't. She's just as oblivious as Eridan is. It wouldn't surprise you if she couldn't tell yet that your psionics are still inside of her.
Lemmon wraps her arms around you too. She's too weak to hold them up, so instead she grabs onto your shirt and uses that for leverage. The weight of them drags the fabric backward, and the head hole rubs uncomfortably against your neck, but you don't give a fuck.
Sooooooooooooooo i scribbled like a bunch of TADC stuff after getting into the show this year. Here's some of it! I am going to upload more to subscribestar soon :>
**And if you happen to find me through the TADC tag, please know the rest of my blog is 18+/nsfw
Resus writing for the soul @beatingheart-writingwoes - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
