fuck it

[beausvalcntine]

starter for: @kclawson​

Beau wandered into Lawson’s dorm room with his gift bag he received for valentine’s day. The brunette had opened the gifts in his own hotel room, finding the gifts he had received amusing. A lot of people gave their valentine’s flowers and chocolates, but not Lawson. He had tried to get Beau gifts that were a little more meaningful to him. He had put his ‘B’ chain around his neck, always wearing some type of jewellery. “Weed flavoured condoms, really?” He asked, wandering into the other’s room, a smirk spreading across his lips. “Did you put the two things I like best together and come to that decision?” He grinned, closing the door behind himself one he entered the room.

[beausvalcntine]

From Lawson to my whatever you want to call yourself.. Happy holiday. 

A whole box of cannabis flavored condoms. 

We all have a sweet tooth, especially you. 

Yes, that is me as Jesus on a grinder babe, it will happen. So when I am called to heaven, I’ll be with you on always grinding your weed. 

This isn’t a gift, more of a return. I think you know what it is. I gave it to you once before. I have the L that goes to it. It was a set. I think it’s time you take it back and start wearing it again like I secretly have been always wearing mine. 

[beausvalcntine]

Looking at Beau, Lawson waited to hear the words back and shook his head. Pulling away he looked at the other coldly and shrugged. “Let’s just go and fuck, so you can leave after.” He was happy and conflicted all at once, but as the words left his lips the hint of a bitterness stained as he felt the night he planned for Beau to stay with him was ruined. Balling his fist and unballing it he shook his head once more. “Patiences my fucking ass.” He hissed lowly as he reached behind him and tugged Beau with him. His emotions always all over especially when he was confused. Pulling the other guy into an empty room he pinned him to the wall as he glared at him. “Fuck off with this playing me bull shit. Ya like me, ya get jealous of me, but ya don’t want me the way I want ya. Ya just like my ass.” He growled lowly slapping Beau lightly across the face. “Maybe I ought to not let ya have it tonight and just leave ya here and let ya suffer. Maybe I ought to just take ya back into that party and watch ya watch me grind all over these other guys.” He chuckled smirking as he turned away. 

Beau knew that Lawson was open about how he felt towards the brunette, and that’s where things became conflicted. Beau liked being wanted and needed, but actually talking about how he felt made him feel weird. The brunette followed Lawson out of the room and into another. He felt his back hit the wall behind him and made a small sound as the other pinned him against it. “I...” he began before feeling the other slap him across the face. The brunette instantly reached up, grabbing hold of the other’s wrists and pushed him back a little. “Don’t touch me like that again.” He warned him, creating some distance between the two of them for a second. “Jokingly or not. Don’t tap my face like that because I’m liable to react, and I really don’t want to be ruining that face of yours.” There was only so many times Beau was going to let someone get away with it. He had gone through a lot of punches and slaps growing up and it made him uneasy. “You can do what you want Lawson. If you want to showcase that your easy or whatever, go ahead.” Beau admitted, walking over to the door and holding it open for him. “Because the next night your only going to come back to me, and we go through the same ordeal all over again. Hell, you even dressed up to impress me.” He admitted. “Your acting like I don’t show you that I care. Just because I don’t say it doesn’t mean my actions don’t show it.”

[beausvalcntine]

CALL ➜ BEAU

LAWSON: [ listening to the name he felt the sob leave his lips. ] Sh-she said she would make you forget me. I-I just g-got you back I can't lose you again. [ slurring his words as the tears streamed down his face a hiccup left his lips. ] Ev-evil bloody twat needs to fuck off my boyfriend. How can h-he forget a dick like mine? I was the first he had. Proud of it. B-B, babe, I-I am so damn proud of that. Conquering the guy th-that conquered me. Made me feel some type of way, drove me mad. God you've were my first, well two of my firsts an-and I was yours. I'm special. Nothing, nothing does she hold over me. [ he sniffled as he closed his eyes. ]

BEAU: wait are you crying ? oh my god lawson. I don't know if this is your general reaction or if you are drunk and that's why your upset and overthinking everything. I'm pretty sure Dylan doesn't like me like that anymore. Things between her and I were okay for a bit, but then she left. That was that. God you two are complete opposites of one another. Here I was thinking I had a type, obviously not. Stop getting upset. it would be different if something happened, but it hasn't. Just come back to the hotels.

[beausvalcntine]

Lawson wanted the title, he needed it, but he would not let that be known. Shaking his head he looked away until he felt the hands grab his shirt and the lips place gently against his. “B” He muttered before he felt on move around his neck pulling him in for another this time responding back. Sealing it with a kiss. The small moan left his mouth as he felt the teeth tug on his bottom lip before hearing the words. “So boyfriend.” He spoke as a small flush took over his cheeks as he tested the words. “Should we ditch this boring party, my games, and all else?” He questioned looking at Beau. “I think we would make more use of our time alone in one of rooms for the rest of the night.” He stated wrapping his arms around Beau’s neck. 

Beau didn’t like talking about his feelings. He didn’t like declaring how he felt about someone because it could always change, he could always change. He had never been someone who fully committed to anything because situation’s changed, people changed and he didn’t trust his own feelings. He knew he liked Lawson. He had no doubt about that. The two had a past with another, and he fucked with pretty boys. Lawson was his type one hundred percent. Beau heard Lawson call him boyfriend, but didn’t comment on it. “I’m not going to my room. Doesn’t have to be a bedroom either. Be adventurous,” Beau answered, letting a small smirk spread across his lips. 

[beausvalcntine]

Lawson nodded and truth be known Beau had, but he didn’t want there to come a point that just because they weren’t ‘technically’ together that there was a passing zone for others hands to be on what he wanted. They liked each other, but was that enough to keep Beau he often thought. “B, we are here together and look at you.” He spoke fisting his shirt in one of his hands as he heard the sound come from his exes lips. “Love, stop denying it and just say that maybe there is a chance that ya want me half as bad as I want ya, that I feel that I need ya.” Lawson’s eyes searched the others as his hands cupped his face. “This isn’t just a friend date Beau, we both know better than that. I text about fucking, ya come running, I want to hang, you’re there. Come on babe, just one last jump with me. I’ll let you think it over more.” He whispered for just the pair of them to hear pulling back as he sighed. Feeling the hand on his wrist as he went to turn from their conversation he looked back up. “Is that a challenge?” He asked raising a brow before he softened and sighed once more once he saw the pout. “Just be my boyfriend B. Seal it with a kiss. Do something. I’m not asking for you to be romantic, leave that to me. You don’t even have to ask me. Just you know.” He shrugs rambling as he motions his hands trying to think of something.

“Why do I have to admit it when you know I care about you?” Beau asked. He hated the talk of feelings. He hated telling someone how he felt towards them.  Lawson knew that if Beau didn’t give a fuck about him, he wouldn’t have bothered with him. The brunette pursed his lips as Lawson was persistent about him doing something or saying something about their relationship with one another. He grabbed the front of Lawson’s shirt, pressing his lips against the other’s gently at first, before moving his hand to the nape of his ex-boyfriend’s neck, pulling him in for another kiss. The kiss shared between the two of them was a little deeper, and ended with Beau pulling on the other’s bottom lip with his teeth as he pulled away. “Happy? You know I don’t want to see you with anyone else. You don’t have to hear me tell you that in order for it to be the truth.”

[beausvalcntine]

CALL ➜ BEAU

lawson: [ setting - lawson was at the pub that night drinking and enraged at the words exchange between him and dylan. dialing beau's number he heard the line pick up as the unwavering sounds of his voice began to speak. ] so ya ex is planning to peg ya till ya forget about me. [ he slurred in the basement of the pub as he sniffled pacing back and forth. ] hurts me y'know. what am i, nothing? do i mean nothing to ya that some chick she can make ya about forget me? [ pausing he brought the bottle to his lips as he took a gulp to where the other could hear it as a sob left his lips. ] when will ya realize you're the best thing that's happened to me. that you're good enough, i thought the night of the party was enough. i-i thought i proved it. i just want ya to want me. [ dropping the bottle as his own heart plunged he felt the sobs leave his lips. ] have fun getting fucking pegged forgetting about me, yeah. no matter what i do, it's not the fact that you're not good enough for me, it's the fact i'm not good enough f-for ya. [ sitting on the floor with the phone he gasped for a breath. ] i-i should probably get back and pack my things, next location and avoidance. [ he whispered as his voice broke. ]

BEAU: My ex? I have plenty of exes Lawson. You need to be more specific. I'm going to assume your talking about Dylan since I know she's arrived at the school. What the fuck are you talking about? Me being pegged? I'm not getting pegged by anyone, and I'm not planning to get pegged by anyone. I don't know why your blaming me for something that hasn't even happened? Your upset with me because my ex is in the school? How was I supposed to know she was going to be around here? I care about you. You know I do. Don't try and make out things might be happening.

[beausvalcntine]

“fair enough. it’s definitely not everybody’s cuppa,” mia nods, gaze shifting to the dance floor, where it seemed the dance style of choice was jumping up and down. a thought comes to mind, and she turns back towards beau. “as much as i’m enjoying london, i can’t wait to find out where we’re going next. what do you think the chances are they’ll finally take us somewhere lovely and warm with proper beaches?”

“ i’m hoping we go Australia or somewhere call like Japan,” he muses, biting down on his bottom lip. “Australia I’d love to go for the weather, and I think somewhere like Japan would be cool because they have a lot of things in place that are more advanced compared to this country for example,” he admitted. Beau had watched a couple of YouTube videos to see what life was like living there. “It would be nice to go to somewhere with a beach though. Seems like a while since we’ve done that.”

[beausvalcntine]

Lawson looked at Beau and shook his head. “What ya going to do about it B? You’re my date, but you’re not exactly my boyfriend.” He spoke in reply biting his lip as he watched his exes eyes travel to the guys he danced with that night. Meeting his eyes he shook his head he shrugged. “Don’t know what you’re talking about babe. Just wanted to dance a bit, and I know you don’t exactly like doing it. I can’t make you do something ya don’t like now.” He responded running a hand through his hair. “We both know what I want Beau. We had that talk the other night, I’m just being patient.” He sighed as he looked down his hands playing with the hem of the guys shirt. “Good, stay pissed, now ya know the true feeling of frustration like I do when it comes to wanting you.” He leaned over to whisper in the others ear pulling away to place a rough kiss to his lips. “Now should I go dance with others again, or has my point been made and you have something more you like to say?” He asked as he pulled his lips a few centimeters away as his eyes met his exes once more. 

Beau didn’t like the other teasing him and using someone else to get at him. The brunette did get jealous and he did get aggravated and Lawson knew which buttons to push to wind him up. His eyes narrowed on Lawson as he kissed him roughly and made a small sound as their lips got pulled away from one another.  “Each time you’ve been frustrated with me, I’ve done exactly what you wanted despite the protests,” he confessed. His fingers curled around Lawson’s wrist, shaking his head as Lawson asked if he wanted him to go and dance with someone else again. “Don’t you fucking dare.” He warned. “I don’t need you playing games with me. You know I don’t like it.” He pouted.

[beausvalcntine]

the brunette listens, nodding as beau explains the situation. relationships could be complicated, she understood that, and it wasn’t always easy to talk about. “gotcha. well it’s nice that you guys came together, then. that you felt good askin’ and he said yes,” she smiles, before her tone turns teasing. “have you guys danced together yet? i’m sure the dj’s got some painfully slow songs on there just for those kinda moments.”

Beau didn’t like labelling his relationships because sometimes he felt something, and other times he didn’t. His relationship with Lawson was complicated because the two did have a thing in the past, but Beau wasn’t romantic and thought Lawson deserved someone better. “We haven’t yet. I wouldn’t be caught dead slow dancing,” he chuckled. “Not my thing at all. He can slow dance with someone else.”

[beausvalcntine]

Lawson didn’t know exactly all the people he was talking to that night. All he knew was there was a couple euros secretly handed around for more and more of them to come and talk to him as the jealousy in his ex boiled. It was the way he knew Beau was, especially when he wanted something, and by the looks of it, that something was him. Feeling his head turned and the thumb brush over his cheekbone he looked into the guys eyes. “Babe, I’m just talking to a few people.” He replied as he leaned into his touch and watched his eyes. “No you’re not going anywhere, B. I’m here. I’m yours now.” He lowered his voice to keep it between the two of them. Walking over to the nearest corner he lead Beau with him with his fingers still wrapped around the collar and kissed him softly. “Talk to me, what’s going on. Tell me what’s going on up there.” He whispered nudging his forehead with his nose urging him to say the words he wants to hear. 

Beau didn’t like the fact that Lawson was trying to get to him by talking to other people. Normally the brunette could ignore the other’s antics, but when he was using other people as pieces to get under beau’s skin, it was winding him up slowly but surely. “I don’t like you being all over those fucking guys,” he answered back honestly, eyeing the guys lawson had dance with, before narrowing his eyes on his ex-boyfriend again. The two of them making direct eye contact with each other. “Are you trying to get under my skin on purpose because it’s fucking me off. I don’t want to see some other geezer’s hands around you. I know you secretly want those hands to be mine instead as well,” he confessed, biting down on his bottom lip. “If your trying to piss me off, it’s working.”

[beausvalcntine]

“she is! she’s a hellion, it’s great,” mia responds with a grin, voice amused. hazel seemed to have just as much energy as she did, and they hadn’t had a dull conversation yet. “ah, okay, that makes sense. well, glad it worked out alright between you and her, then.” trying to keep up with the relationships between people on this program was difficult, and she wasn’t really the type to keep track even when that sort of thing was easy. mia tried to keep up with her friends’ relationships, but that was where she drew the line, and the relationship between her and beau was still new enough that there was a lot she didn’t know. “on and off like dating on and off?” she asks, genuinely curious. it could have meant a few things, on and off friends, on and off friends with benefits, on and off partners. 

beau had a good relationship with mia, the two didn’t talk all the time , but he liked her at the moment. she had not given him a reason to think differently of her. “um,” he said, bringing his hand to the nape of his neck, not knowing how to describe his relationship with Lawson.  “ we split up a while ago , but we’re on and off again friends with benefits right now , but we still kind of like each other too. It’s complicated, ” he scoffed. he hated talking about it, because he couldn’t pinpoint how he felt. “ happy he came with me though,”.

[beausvalcntine]

mia leans into the touch, looking up at beau with a grin. “i came with hazel! not sure where she’s gotten to, though. maybe she’s dancin’ on the bar,” the brunette jokes, although given her other interactions with her date, it seemed to be in character for her. “nah, you couldn’t have known. i didn’t ask her until yesterday, the whole date thing completely slipped my mind.” she’d avoided the entry kiss rule by hiding behind cecilya, but despite being part of the entertainment for the night, thought it might have been best to avoid breaking another rule. besides, she enjoyed hazel’s company. “you’re here with kim, right? or wait  is it lawson?” kim’s name had come up at some point, but she’d spotted him and lawson together earlier in the night and it had seemed like something was going on.

Beau didn’t kiss anyone on the way into the event either. He didn’t want to get himself in trouble, and also didn’t know either of the guys enough to plant a kiss against their lips. “Oh, Hazel’s the little wild firecracker isn’t she? She’s always got tons of energy when I see her bouncing around,” he chuckled. He shook his head as she asked who he had came with. “Nope. Kim dropped me,” he laughed, finding it funny. “I think somebody asked her seriously, so as we was only going as friends, I was cool with it,” he shrugged. “I’m here with Lawson. I actually asked him,” he admitted. “His like the person I know best around here, so it felt okay to ask him, plus you know, him and me are on and off all the time,” he scoffed. 

[beausvalcntine]

Lawson over the course over the last half hour was quite the tipsy social butterfly dancing and talking to other while secretly stealing glances at his ex when he happened to not be looking at him. He felt the pair of eyes on him. They never went unnoticed, but the conclusion was he wanted them on him. He wanted to be seen. Feeling the guy take his hand he was about to walk off to share another dance before he interrupted and they were broke apart. Beau. He felt the fingers lace around the collar and the tell tale trace of a smirk tugged on the corners of his lips. “About that dance, rain check, my boyfriend needs me.” He spoke before the words that left his lips registered with his slightly intoxicated mind as he looked over the guys shoulder. “Well, I mean, um, my um, ex boyfriend, that I like, and I..fuck it he’s still mine and I’m very much his, run along now.” He rambled before feeling the hand around his neck and nodding. “All done, yeah. What can I do for ya, B?” He asked as his cheeks flushed and he tried to turn his face to prevent his ex from seeing it. It was the drinks, he would be blaming them. 

Beau wasn’t an introvert but he wasn’t a social butterfly like his ex-boyfriend. He didn’t like how the brunette was approached by different people, giving them his time and attention. Beau was feeling a little left out and slightly jealous (although he wouldn’t admit that out loud). Beau turned his head to look at the other person who approached his ex-boyfriend and narrowed his eyes on him until he left, leaving it for Lawson to push him away and get rid of him. Beau turned Lawson’s head to face him, brushing his thumb over the other’s cheekbone. “Why you fucking about with other people if I’m here?” Beau asked. “I can go, you know,” he admitted, eyeing the collar around Lawson’s neck, tugging at the metal part hanging on it. “You fuck me off so much sometimes.”

[beausvalcntine]

𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓇: @the-mia-jewell​​

Beau hated the word Valentine. Not only was it his surname, but romance and love was something he had always had a strange connection towards. He had grew up in a household where not much love was given between the three people occupying it, and instead toxicity had taken it’s place. However, he wasn’t trying to be a downer or ruin anyone else’s mood. That’s the reason he slipped his arm around his room-mates shoulder. “Who did you end up coming here with Mia?” He asked. He couldn’t remember if she had told him during their conversations at night when they shared a room, but he couldn’t recall it. “You might have told me, but I’ve completely forgot. I’ll blame being faded just before I nod off to sleep,” he smirked.

[beausvalcntine]

𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓇: @kclawson 

Beau's tendency of jealousy has been with him since he was a small child. He'd always been envious of other people's possessions and how that contrasted to him. He didn't think he'd be envious of other people capturing Lawson's attention during the valentine's day and birthday event, yet there he was, arms crossed over his chest, eyes fixed on Lawson as he watched him catch up with other people. He had let it go on for about forty minutes before he walked up between Lawson and the other guest, his fingers curling around the collar around his ex-boyfriend’s neck. “You done with him? Is it time for me to get some attention now, huh?” He asked. His hand grasping around the other’s neck. “It’s about damn time,”.

[beausvalcntine]

​​

Sitting in Beau’s lap Lawson pursed his lips. “Now babe when have I ever eased dropped? I have no idea what you are talking about.” He feigned innocences. “I’m slightly offended B, wounded.” He spoke looking at the guy. “But do continue. Don’t let me distract you. Pretend as if I’m not here perched in your lap and tell me about this guy you like, I’m dying to know all the gory details.” He teased as he stood for a moment turning and then sitting back down straddling him to get a better look at his face. “Much better, now back to liking me, ya?” He smirked being a bit cocky. 

The brunette made a small sound as his ex-boyfriend moved off his lap to straddle him instead. His fingers rested on the other’s hips, fingers brushing against the warm skin that was under his shirt, but wasn’t covered by the pants he was wearing. “Best dick I’ve ever seen, even better ass,” Beau confessed, looking up into Lawson’s eyes. “Smells really good all the time that it’s almost intoxicating, but can be a little bitch if he doesn’t get his own way,” he teased the other.