I’m trying, I Promise

21 SW: 120 CW: 200 :( UGW: 95 Recovered but reconsidering

[cats-healing-diary]

Living feels so heavy right now. I just want to pause life for a second and just breathe. It feels like I can't fill up my lungs completely, like I'm always out of breathe.

[lilasnowxoxo]

tip!

just dance burns an insane amount of c@ls if you do it for a while AND it’s super fun

[borderlinebaby420]

i just want to cry in the dark and hurt myself alone

[ihaveneverbeendeadbefore]

i don’t know how to deal with these feelings without hurting myself

[lovinglydefective]

I feel so broken and unloved and worthless and disgusting and annoying and unlovable and sad and depressed and suicidal and just so so fucking alone.

[yougotthisbackup]

my fav alt ✨leg✨ th1nspø at this moment! can't wait to look like this <3

[agonisingpain]

Fearing a relapse but at the same time wanting to relapse so bad

[agonisingpain]

I didn't cry for months, I self harmed less often and I went to school every day, I was finally a functioning human being so I kinda thought I was doing better. Then I had a huge breakdown and I realised how bad things are and that I didn't get better at all, I just did my best pretending things were okay because I didn't want to keep hurting people around me and because I really wanted things to be good but I have to accept the fact that they just aren't, and that they probably will never be, no matter how hard I try.

[fucklife101]

I don’t know how many “just make it through today”s I’ve got left.

[yogisdoitbetter]

Under 150 kcal whole-food, vegan recipes ❤️ SO MUCH FLAVOR! 🌿 no sweets

Vegan Mushroom Stroganoff (120 kcal)

Root Vegetable Salad with Sweet Potato Crunchies (79 kcal)

Slow Cooker Sweet Potato and Kale Soup (130 kcal)

Christmas Spiced Red Cabbage (use vegan butter/oil) (79 kcal)

Charred Onion and Tomato Salad (81 kcal)

Baked Apple Chips (32 kcal)

Chimichurri Sauce, Oil-Free (I would put over large portabella cap for ~+20 kcal) (8 kcal)

Baked Zucchini Tater Tots (104 kcal)

Air Fryer Beet Chips, Oil-Free (49 kcal)

Spicy Cauliflower Cheese Sauce (44 kcal)

Spicy Vegan Salami (111 kcal)

Smashed Salt & Vinegar Potatoes (must omit oil, will cook fine I promise) (148 kcal)

Candied "bacon" pecans (107 kcal)

Pumpkin Spice Hummus (103 kcal)

Air Fryer Pineapple (90 kcal)

Avocado Green Goddess Dressing, Oil-Free (66 kcal)

Vegan Coleslaw (140 kcal)

Cranberry Risotto Stuffed Mushrooms (40 kcal)

Cauliflower Buffalo Wings (118 kcal)

Polenta Pizza Crust (167 kcal ugh)

Cranberry Broccoli Salad with Poppy Seed Dressing (omit chickpeas) (227 kcal >:( but I have to try this sometime)

[inkskinned]

when you were younger, you were often told off for being too sensitive. as if you could control it. as if you, taking your own pain seriously, as if that was the problem. it didn't matter that you were being bullied - and it never mattered if the bully was your parent. it just mattered that you reacted to it.

the other day someone asked why you always seem to take things in stride. you don't know how to say - i don't, i am just not allowed to be a human where others could see it happen.

you watch other people have emotions in public and are often stunned by them. you are always walking carefully around your own, knowing that at some point you could slip and start weeping through your sunday evening apropos of nothing. you're not allowed to feel big things. when you feel big things, you're a messy, annoying person. it's ugly when you cry. it's uncomfortable for everyone.

the other day, you were relating another story to your therapist. you paused for a moment and then let out that little bark of laughter - it shouldn't have hurt, but i guess it did!

you promise that you're not upset about it. you're never upset about anything. you just pass through this world - ghostlike. numb. promising others - oh! i've changed a lot since i was a kid.

[shreddedwristsandbrokenhearts]

[just-sad-vibes]

nobody ever puts as much effort into me as i put into everyone

[just-sad-vibes]

i put my entire soul into all of my relationships bc im so scared they’ll leave if they don’t have my everything and they give me the bare minimum and wonder why i feel worthless

[hwhwgwhnwnwbwbwg-deactivated202]

enemies to lovers, stolen glances, dark libraries , who did this to you, candle lights, it’s always been you, academic rivals, echoing footsteps, ballroom dances, a dagger strapped to the thigh, knowing each other better than they know themselves, stargazing, the first laugh as presumed enemies, I hate everyone but you , a smirk, a letter, yearning, storms-

[paracosmoon]

starry nights, enemies to lovers, annotations, graffiti, mixtapes, art galleries, anklets, sunsets, heart-shaped lockets, bonfires, libraries, constellations, love letters, soft lighting, messy hair, ice cream parlours, misted windows, blueberries, full moons, dark clouds, red roses

[metamorphesque]

― 1Q84, Haruki Murakami

[text ID: I am nothing. I’m like someone who’s been thrown into the ocean at night, floating all alone. I reach out, but no one is there. I call out, but no one answers. I have no connection to anything.]

˗ˏˋ☕ˎˊ˗

[danger]