My heart...

I am an emotional creature with a lot on my mind. I hope you read, but if you don't, it was therapeutic anyway.

[beautifulprincessmarcella]

This week, I started a new schedule at work.  It used to be 7am-4pm, this week, the week immediately after daylight savings time, I started 8am-5pm.  Not only does it already feel like it’s midnight at 5pm now because it’s so dark, but now my days feel sooooooo long!  To top all the dreary off, yesterday was the presidential election and Donald Trump is our newly elected President.  It felt like a dim, dreary veil covered the earth as I drove to work this morning.  I knew that regardless of who won the election, Jesus was still on the throne, so I didn’t pay too much attention.  I found out when I woke at 3:30 this morning.  (Part of me wonders if that’s the exact moment Trump’s victory was announced & God woke me at that moment to pray for our country - which I did!)  Regardless, as I felt this dark, heavy veil this morning, I looked up as I rounded a bend only to see a dark, heavy curtain all the way across the eastern sky.  It was very ironic that God’s canvas was displaying what I felt in the moment, but I also noticed the sun peeking up just above the darkness.  God nudged me...the sun was peeking above the physical darkness just as the SON was peeking above the dreary darkness that metaphorically covered the country today.  He was just reminding me that He’s always in control...no matter who thinks they’ll control the country :)

[beautifulprincessmarcella]

We are often faced with difficult decisions in life.  One of the hardest I have made was to move an hour and a half from my hometown.  Small town USA was all I knew, and leaving the ‘comforts’ of family & familiarity was scary.  But I believed, beyond a shadow of doubt, that God was moving me, and I had faith in Him.  He has not let me down!  I’m in a wonderful place.  He’s stretched me and done so much work in me, and I know He’s still working!  

A few days ago, a text from a friend forced me to contemplate another difficult decision.  A friend mentioned that he was going to his dad’s to “...potentially witness history with him (his father).”

That statement swept so much emotion through my being!  I remember climbing up on the couch next to my Daddy as a little girl to watch the Cubs games.  I had two sisters who weren’t interested in sports at all, so I knew that time was sacred, and would be shared with just me & Daddy, uninterrupted.  I got so emotional thinking that I don’t know how many more of those moments I’ve got left with him.  And we (Cubs fans) have literally waited our entire lives to watch the Cubs win a World Series...will this opportunity ever come around again?

My dilemma?  The game was on a Wednesday night; a Wednesday I was scheduled to usher for midweek service at church.  I had a commitment to fulfill.  PLUS, the game was going to last until AT LEAST 11pm, and I had to be at work at 7am the next morning - an hour and a half away from Dad’s house.  That would mean getting up by 4:30am & commuting that hour & a half to be at work on time.  I considered ushering then driving to dad’s after church, but that would put me at his house around 10pm.  Depending on how much action the game was providing, Dad could potentially be asleep by 10pm, making my drive pointless.  Now, 176 years between the two teams since a pendant meant both the Cubs and Indians were going to fight!  I figured the game would be exciting enough to keep him awake, but it was another factor to consider.  I knew the fact that I got so emotional over the thought of spending this time with Daddy meant that was the decision I needed to make, so I made it!

When I got to Daddy’s, we ordered pizza.  As we’re eating it, I thanked him for pizza.  He looks at me with tears in his eyes and says, “Thank you for making the drive just to watch a ball game.”

I knew in that moment, this was not just a ball game!  This was PRICELESS time!  That night was nothing fancy or extravagant, but MAGICAL, indeed!

[beautifulprincessmarcella]

Just ASK!

“You have not because you ask not”...I keep hearing this over and over recently!  It’s probably come across my head five times the last two weeks.

So, why don’t I ask?  FEAR!  I’m afraid someone will say no.  I’m afraid it won’t work out like He’s promised me it will.  I believe Him in so many ways, I trust Him completely.  But I don’t.  Because if I did, I would ask!  “What do I need to do to receive the promises you whispered in my ear?  What do I need to STOP doing to receive those promises?

I’m a great giver; I want to be a great receiver!  I want to ask!  I am working on getting better at asking.  I’m claiming this!  #ImAGreatReceiver #MyNewAffirmation

[attndotcom]

He was right.

[beautifulprincessmarcella]

Growing Up

One of the attributes age has taught me is open-mindedness.  The ability to be able to view (and appreciate) situations from a different perspective is something I am extremely thankful for.  It is, unfortunately, not an attribute that everyone acquires.

I have also learned along the way that when someone isn’t mature enough to acknowledge that another perspective might even exist, there is no point in trying to prove to them that it does.  My recovery time is much, much quicker. The fact that most of these people are extremely close to my heart means that when it happens, it still stings.

Is this God’s way of removing the toxicity from my life?  Definitely something for me to pray about.

[beautifulprincessmarcella]

It's amazing how life can change in just 24 hours.  Monday I felt like I was on top of the world and yesterday it felt like the world was crumbling around me.  So when I'm confused or don't know which emotion is real, I write.  Everything makes sense when I write. My God and my words are my therapy.

Love is such a funny thing.  When you're together, everything is better.  When you're apart, you imagine what it would be like, how it would be different if he were there.  Or maybe that's just me.

Then you find out they're not who you thought they were, they're only human.  When you see someone you thought would change your world, you see them through the rose colored glasses, who you hope they can be.  Then when the glasses are stripped away and you realize the S on his chest was all part of the illusion; that he's capable of making bad decisions...the crumble begins.

Maybe I expect too much! You see, God told me I'm a Queen!  He's put inside me these instincts to cover my man in prayer, to encourage and help him dream his future AND THEN help him build it; to lift him up when the world knocks him down, and nurture him when he needs it.  He's also gifted me with a giving spirit, although what I give may not be monetary, I will give all I have and keep giving until it hurts!  God also told me I deserve a King who will do the same for me!  Protect my heart and spirit in prayer, provide for me when I can't provide for myself, to make me feel like the Queen I am, and to let the world know I'm his!

Then today after all the heartache, the crying, the prayer, after all that, He told me that if you aren't willing to be THAT King, then I need to let you step aside so He can show me who that King will be.  And my heart is at peace again.

Deep down, I hope you're him.  But if you're not, what God has for me will be even better!

The moral of this therapeutic moment: STEP UP OR STEP ASIDE

[beautifulprincessmarcella]

I haven't blogged in a while, and when this happened a few weeks ago, I told myself I was going to blog it.  I'm a little late, but the message hasn't changed!  At work, we have a goose power couple.  Two of my friends and I have given them a 'power couple name' - because every power couple has to have a power couple name, so we've named them Crannie, Carl and Frannie.  This is Carl, he made an appearance in the midst of a rain storm a few weeks back and was just hanging out (guarding his territory, I would guess) in the rain.  I got distracted when he caught my eye, because what caught my eye was the rain rolling off his back.  All I could think was God giving me a lesson in my storms. When I'm in my storm, He's covering me so that the things occurring in the storm will just 'roll off', they never get through to the inside.  Carl NEVER flinched in this storm, and it was a wonderful lesson to me that I don't need to flinch in the midst of my storm.  He is protecting me so that nothing harmful to me will penetrate!  #HedgeOfProtection

[jfallonlove]

[fallontonight]

Meghan Trainor, Jimmy, and The Roots perform ‘All About That Bass’ with classroom instruments!

[beautifulprincessmarcella]

I'm in love with this song!!

[lockedlockedlocked]

[davidroads]

[attndotcom]

exactly!

[in-my-mouth]

Chocolate Lava Skillet Cookie

[nomalifromsoweto]

[thecsph]

Breasts are for pleasure, but they are also for breastfeeding!

Let’s stop the shaming of breast-feeding mothers into bathroom stalls.

[la-belle-reveur-deactivated2014]

Signal boost because seriously this is so important

[kushandwizdom]

[words-of-emotion]

Good Vibes HERE

[in-my-mouth]

Cinnamon Coffee Cake Bread

[inspirational-christian-quotes]

“I’m not afraid of the devil. The devil can handle me – he’s got judo I never heard of. But he can’t handle the One to whom I’m joined; he can’t handle the One to whom I’m united; he can’t handle the One whose nature dwells in my nature. ”

– A.W. Tozer

www.ChristianQuotes.info for more great quotes.

#Christianquotes #A.W.-Tozer-Quote-Images

[in-my-mouth]

Strawberry Banana Bread