Unspoken Words @beautifulsarahi - Tumblr Blog

i hope you always have enough money to pay your rent on time, to buy your favorite groceries, and to invest in your art.

skeebadu

Pls

Mind In Scrambles

April 19, 2022

It’s been a year since I blessed my page with a life update... I'm 29 now My birthday was exactly a month ago I’m still working with same job same bills, same life no big update but today my heart feels heavy for whatever reason and decided to come express my feeling with words so here we go..

The year started off ruff on me and i’ve been trying to let that hurt go and I will but this time around its taking quiet some time. Life is moving at a rapid past for me its like its been wanting to tell me something that i havent caught on too it yet. I been trying to clear my head maybe i need to go for a run or a hike that always helped. I starting feeling weird the past 2 days so I had to think of a way to express myself without sounding like i need someone to feel sorry and let me tell you.. this has always been my safe spot. I started Tumblr when i was 15yrs ago i would express myself with Memes, quotes, and music at that time i was still finding myself and it crazy that to this day I still feel like i dont know where life will take me but im buckling my seat belt and riding with it because my God is good and he always come thought for your girl!

Ill be 30 next yr i always wanted to travel to NY i don't know why but thats my dream city to visit .. might just be the cold weather I love the cold!! Hopefully next yr or even this year ill make that happen for myself .. I want another baby by the time im 31 after that i think im done. I heard after 30yrs a women's body isnt the same and i dont want to have trouble conceiving. I always wanted a big family. I came to the US when i was 2yrs old I was born in Mexico and my parents wanted to live the american dream and made that big decison to move out here with no family, no money, no home just motivation and thats the #1 reason my parents will forever be my motivation. I know right now im comfortable where Iam at but more will come I believe in me and thats all that matter.

The people i surround myself with my small little circle i love to death always make sure i feel soo loved around them. I shine my sun on them and they return the energy and i love it. I feel so happy when im wih my friends its like they give me a boost of energy and i love that shit haha I need to start doing more outside activities. Ive falling so deep into the social media life its starting to drain my mind and body. I dont want that. I have the energy i had when i was younger i was so happy and alive. By the end of this year i want to be a different person a BETTER person for everyone Etc (Mother, Daughter, Friend, Worker) .

Uffffff i just took the biggest deep breath this was such a great feeling. Ill be back for more soon and i promise it wont take me another yr..

making-my-fate

March 2, 2021.

!!STRESSED, DISAPPOINTED, HURT, WORRIED!!

18 days before my 28th birthday and here iam with all these worries in my head .... will my relationship fail? Will my parents have a home to sleep in? When will my son start his first day of school? Where will I be in the next 18days but yet I woke up today with a smile on my face before walking out the door I left with tears in my eyes because my son always feel a certain way when I leave him but this is just the beginning baby mommy will do eveything she has to do to make sure you will be happy for the rest of your life, I will make sure to keep you around your grandparents to feel the love I felt as a child. I’m sorry I can’t stay with you all day everyday mommy has to work and you will understand that one day baby.

My parents were asked to move out by mid March and yet they have found no where to live. There thinking about buying a trailer but my parents do NOT deserve to live in a place like that. My dad has always been a harder worker and my mom she’s always been a stay at home mom. I recently received a 5k check from an accident I had a I had to give them the money so they can have funds to move else where. Some may say I’m crazy but these are the people who birth me why wouldn’t I help them!! I’m praying they find thier forever home a HOUSE so they can be comfortable everyday and no worries!!

Love.... the father of my child and I been going through a tuff time. Did we loose interest in each other? I don’t want to blame myself but he makes me feel like I’m just not enough for him. Everything I do he tries to correct me. If I cook my food doesn’t taste right ,, if I said something wrong he makes it such a big deal.. and to be honest I’m tired of trying. It’s been 8yrs and it doesn’t seem like we want the same things I want more kids he doesn’t, I want marrige he doesn’t so why are we wasting time here? Should I get up and go? Should I work this out for my son? I want to make my son happy and again feel what I felt as a child to have my family together never apart.... but things might be different with us.

God today I ask that you heal this hurt and that you take all these worries I have and just tell me that eveything is going to be okay. That’s all I need from you at this moment inJesus name Amen🤍

My last Love letter...

Why must it come to this point ? I honestly gave you eveything I had to give.. I did everything you asked for me to do except get my HS diploma but in all honesty I don’t need it.. I have a good paying job , I have a nice car , my bills are paid on time every month, I can say I’m able to take care of my parents if they were to loose it all today, but yet your “morals” are to be with a woman who has their HS diploma. I’m sure your feelings for me are long gone you’re just keeping me around for I don’t know what reason I wish I knew ... our bodies don’t connect at all anymore. You took all I had to give . You made me feel this way about you and i hope this changes. I never denied a kiss , a hug, sex from you .. but you have for me. Why? Whats was so hard for you to show me how much you cared and loved me I don’t understand that. I never came across a person who didn’t show a person they “loved” LOVE. Maybe you were just the person to give me the love of my life. OUR SON I thank you for that ... and because of your actions and the little love you show I will love my son I will show him that affection and touch is very important for a woman who wants love to be shown to her. Thank you for the good times, thank you for the bad times. Today I let you go spiritually & mentally soon I’ll be able to let you go physically I love you forever.