Your birth story as I remember it 24 hours later (I’m sure I’ll have more to add to this after talking to your mom again):
All I asked wanted you to do was come just a hair early and not on any holidays. You did your part!
On Wednesday, I decided, with encouragement from your mom, to take a small round of castor oil. I pooped a bit but that was about it. I kept thinking you’d gotten lower and I’d had some lightning pain, but no real contractions, even with pumping. I’d woken up at 1 &2AM to move around but again, no contractions. Around 3AM, my water broke while I was asleep. I thought there was no way I’d peed my pants, so I rolled out of bed, careful to keep my legs closed, and was greeted with soaking shorts and dripping in the bathroom. I’d had my bloody show and water break at the same time. I was so excited thinking you’d come on Thursday. I problem solved how to keep from leaking everywhere, insert depends for the win, and decided to go back to bed after starting a load of laundry and telling your mom she was going to be a mom super soon.
I woke up around 7, still nothing happening. I had occasional cramps but that was it. I originally had a 9:30 39 week appointment scheduled which I called to cancel. I had 12 hours to try to get things going naturally. I took a mile walk, did spinning babies, pumped, lunged, side stepped......you name it, I did it. I also baked some rainbow cookies because of course, you couldn’t come into the world without fresh baked goods. The birth photographer came to take some pictures later in the day as we got ready to finally go into the hospital. The Justins and Collie also came to sit with the dogs and help us while we were at the hospital as you’ve come during a pandemic and your mom isn’t allowed to leave the hospital upon my admission.
We arrived to the hospital at 3:20. I got checked in and was 2 cm dilated, 90% effaced, and at a -1 station. My contractions were not strong at all and were about 15-20 minutes apart. Ashley was my nurse at the time and got me through triage. Unfortunately she wasn’t able to get my IV started prior. I got poked 4 times before Mandy the charge nurse in L&D got one in the back of my arm. The nurses were awesome and really wanted the IV to be in a place that was easy to labor as I wanted to have an unmedicated birth. Around 5:30, we got started on low dose pitocin. Jenna, our midwife, decided to increase the dosage a little bit every half hour, which I’m grateful for. Most doctors do it every 15 minutes which I cannot imagine. Jenna had me eat dinner and try to rest before Things got really intense. At about 7, things were ramping up and I was feeling it. You, on the other hand, we’re not feeling the monitors. The nurse, Lauryn, spent all night tracing us. I wanted to try to labor in different positions but of course everything I’d read had been all about people with back pain and all I had was front pain. I labored for a while on the toilet which was nice. Around midnight I was starting to spiral. I decided to ask her to check me again just to see where I was. It had been hours and the contractions were getting intense. I just wasn’t sure what else to do. I was 4cm, 100% effaced, and at. +1 station. She was pleased with the progress. I decided to keep laboring, but I ended up asking for something that wasn’t an epidural so I could get a bit of rest. I thought I had a long way to go, and truthfully, I needed the break. They gave me some narcotic medication and I was able to rest for a bit in bed on my side. While sleeping things got even more intense. I woke up to these freight train level contractions and not being able to find a comfortable spot. I kept switching which side to lay on, much to Lauryns frustration, though she handled me moving and the attitude with grace. I’d just whine while she tried to hunt you down while also apologizing and saying I knew she was just doing her job. At one point, she needed me to lay on my back since we hadn’t been on the monitor for 20 minutes. I was NOT pleased. I told her I didn’t care about the monitors and it didn’t matter. (These are the words of a woman in transition...but we didn’t know that.) Your mom kept telling me I had to do it for you so I obliged. The contractions were insane. I kept feeling like my whole body was pushing while also trying not to push. Lauryn kept telling me about how much my cervix would swell if I pushed without being ready and she kept telling me to breathe with them and to just not push. I tried my best. Your mom tried to keep me encouraged. She really was the best birth partner.
At 3AM, I’d had it. I could no longer describe anything and just could not bear having more contractions and not pushing. Your mom came through with essentially presenting an epidural as an option if we had a long road ahead. She reminded me that I had a code word and I could use it. She found language for me when I had none. She asked Lauryn to get someone in to check me. Lauryn was calling on the walkie about whether Jenna would allow someone else to check her patients and I jumped in saying, “I’ll wait for Jenna.” Essentially I was not letting this lady touch me. She hadn’t done anything wrong but I wanted Jenna. Jenna came floating in and I could finally see a bit. She was asking questions about how I felt and if I felt pushy without contractions and if I felt pressure. All I could tell her was that my butt hurt and I felt like I needed to push because the baby was coming. I felt like your head had been coming in and out for some time but as a first time mom, I had no idea. She asked me if I’d like to be checked so we could discuss pain management if need be, but when I said that you were coming she said, “Okay then, let’s have a baby.” She was so positive. She gloved to check me saying that I’d feel pressure and then quickly realized your head was coming out. All the birthing supplies arrived. She told me to push when I felt like it. Everything was so calm. The lights stayed low. It was so surreal. The ring of fire is no joke. I was suddenly terrified to push you out. I even asked if the contractions would just push you out....everyone laughed, but Jenna said that it was normal to be afraid and it was the hardest part but I was going to feel so much relief. I pushed. It hurt and burned and just scared the shit out of me. I waited until I felt like I should push again. I fussed at your mom for touching my leg, I couldn’t stand the pressure. I had one knee upright and the other bent to the side. Lauryn was still trying to monitor your damn heartbeat holding the monitor at the very bottom of my belly....she did start taking off all of the other monitors and things. I pushed a little more. Just baby pushes while I waited for the burning to stop. I was encouraged to lean into it and that they could see your hair. I pushed a little harder and literally all of you came out at 3:26. Your mom got to catch you and put your cheesy butt on me. I just cried. I couldn’t believe I’d made you, grew you, and birthed you. I was just in love.
I spent the next hour or so holding you and trying to convince you to nurse....you didn’t really go for it until a little later. While we waited for your cord to stop pulsing we did skin to skin. It was magical. Your mom cut the cord and I birthed the placenta. It came out mushy and strange. Jenna gave us a tour of it and then I got some stitches. I had a 1st degree tear. The lidocaine is god awful. It was literally the only time I screamed the entire labor. Jenna stitched me up and had to do another stitch after what she said was the last one. I was not pleased. lol. I was terrified of tearing but Jenna assured me I’d done everything right and I did a good job. Evidently I still needed reassurance even though i was holding you.
Needless to say I did everything I wanted to do in terms of an vaginal birth without an epidural. I am so grateful for the care providers I chose and the ones who showed up to make it happen. We’re so lucky to have you! Here’s to the rest of our lives, kiddo. Your momma loves you.
izzy806
romaincrisis
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