It's hot outside.
Let's stay in. Order delivery. Every kind of soda, enough ice cream to fill the freezer and gallons and gallons of whole milk.
You can keep cool by guzzling all the shakes and floats I create until you're too bloated to be bothered by the heat. Then I'll trace your stretch marks and fat folds with ice cubes until you're ready for a funnel finale.
That's how you beat the heat.
Sound good?
A lil reblog in case any of you big bodied beauties could use some tips on how to keep cool this summer 😎
Guzzle milkshakes. Suck back soda. Gulp floats. Pound down popsicles. Indulge in ice cream. Bloat up on cold beer.
And if you're in the mood for something healthy, I make a mean gazpacho 😉
So many opportunities to stuff yourself, stay cool and pack on even more pounds so you outgrow your summer wardrobe by September 😏
Feels relevant with the international heat waves.
















