Learning how to be me

Caide, 20, gender fluid, they, them, theirs pronouns are always safe. I am in recovery for many things. In eating disorder treatment since May 28. Pro-recovery. Autism spectrum. Liberal. Deeply in love with all things Harry Potter or science. I am happy to give advice or be there to support you whatever you are going through, but I am not a trained professional and if this is an emergency please contact a crisis line. There is a link to one under the "F" below.

[becomingcaide]

Your metabolisms reaction to treating it right

Breakfast: what a great start, thank fuck I don't have to start the day in a panic, now I know I have what I need to not have to hold onto anything that comes my way, and I can start focusing on functioning properly

Snack: alright, thanks a lot, I'm glad I trusted you. Another snack came my way and I was able to continue giving you the best possible energy I can deliver

Lunch: gee I needed this, I've been working for a while and need to maintain my hard work. Thanks for feeding me, I'll be able to carry on

Snack: thank you dear

Dinner: hell fucking yeah fish and chips how did you know that's exactly the amount of protein and carbs and fat I needed. Oh? You listened to your cravings? Great! we're really close he always knows what I need

Snack: I'm getting tired but I'm going to have to keep working whilst you sleep, so you still need to fuel me. Until the morning old chum!

[whatwouldfrogsdo]

RAISE A HAND IF YOU’RE NERVOUS ABOUT THE FUTURE OF YOUR COUNTRY

[veganbleach-deactivated20240807]

WHAT IF YOU ARE NERVOUS ABOUT THE FUTURE OF ANOTHER COUNTRY???

[larryslove]

RAISE BOTH HANDS THEN

[becomingcaide]

hope your doing OK and having a good week!

Thank you. I'm sorry I haven't been very active on tumblr recently (not like most people probably even noticed).I just haven't had the energy I guess. If you want updates, I have been more active on my instagram @becoming_caide. It's mostly a recovery account. If you follow with a similar account or dm me that you're from tumblr/I know you somehow I'll probably follow back.

[becomingcaide]

I don't give a fuck: Sagittarius, Aquarius, Taurus, Gemini, Capricorn, Libra,

I give too many fuck's: Aries, Cancer, Virgo, Leo, Scorpio, Pisces

[recoveringalaska]

Here are some helpful links and sites to help you cope with dissociation. It is by no means complete, because that wouldn’t be possible, but if you know something that you think should really be in this post, feel free to message me. :)

General Information

What is dissociation?

Dissociation explained

Dissociative Disorders

Symptoms & Facts

Dissociative Disorder Fact Sheet

Helplines / Hotlines

Clinic for dissociative studies

Mind / MindInfoline: 08457660163

Positive outcomes for dissociative disorders / PODS helpline: 08001814420

Firstpersonplural 

Related Disorders

Hallucinations

Schizophrenia

Non-epileptic seizures

Coping Tips

Ideas for coping with dissociation

Top 21 grounding techniques

Progressive Muscle Relaxiation

Emotional beggage check

Finding escape through art: Grounding techniques

More grounding techniques

Make a grounding box

Distractions

Silk

2048

Planetarium

Color game

Imagination

Virtual piano

[taorluath-deactivated20221106]

throwback to that one time tumblr just wanted me to know

[becomingcaide]

Fuck. I miss you so much. I love you.

[foxhounders-deactivated20160813]

ppl who dont even like shakespeare: WOW how DARE you alter the original text these are CLASSICS have you no RESPECT, going around DESECRATING these sacred texts in the name of POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!!!!!!!

people who love shakespeare: im going to stage a production of hamlet where all the actors are dogs

[fineas-and-pherb]

(x)

[dailylifewithchronicillness]

The thing about being sick is that you’re always in some type of mourning. You’re always grieving - for the life you once had and the life you could’ve had. I truly believe that in order to be happy, you have to accept your illnesses and resulting limitations. You don’t have to like that you’re sick. But you do have to accept that it’s a part of your life and adapt if you want to be happy. It’s a process, though. It’s not a “one and done” type thing, where one day you wake up, accept this is your life and move on. It’s a JOURNEY. Because things change. Life changes, your health changes and your circumstance change. And with each change, you have to adapt, once again, to figure out how live while sick and accept this new normal.  You never finish grieving. You never finish mourning. You just put some bandaids on your emotional wounds and do your best until something else rips you open again and you gotta bandaging them up again.

I don’t necessarily believe the famous adage: “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”. I think we’re all strong, regardless, in spite of our individual circumstances and experiences. And I do think it’s incredibly brave and strong to move forward and keep trying after something bad happens. But I honestly believe that it all takes a little bit out of you. And I think that with every stressful event, you get a bit weaker, and a bit more defeated, and it gets harder to recoup.

And that’s okay. You don’t need to come out of every traumatic event, every flare, every terrifying surgery or hospital stay or scary sick moment as a “stronger person”. You’re allowed to admit that it’s hard and you’re exhausted and you feel beat down by what life has thrown at you. You’re allowed to say that your stress tolerance is lower and you’re having trouble coping. You’re allowed to say that you don’t feel strong but instead, you’re tired of grieving, you’re tired of forcing acceptance, and you’re tired of adapting.

Sometimes there’s nothing to be learned by “what didn’t kill you”. Sometimes the world is just a shitty place, and you’ve been dealt a shitty deck of cards. I’ve grown incredibly as a person as result of my experiences, but, I could’ve grown similarly without the pain it took to get there and the scars it left. 

Every day, I rebandage, and I move forward. Every day, I grieve a little bit, and I accept a little more. Every day, I am stronger, but I’m also weaker. I’m learning that that’s okay. Like I said, it’s a journey. 

[becomingcaide]

an unfamiliar cat: (approaches me)

me, internally: this cat senses my inner worth

[ithelpstodream]

Muslim community: this wasn’t an act of religion, it was homophobia LGBT+ community: this wasn’t an act of religion, it was homophobia Shooter’s parents: this wasn’t an act of religion, it was homophobia Media: muslims are to blame isis is coming for us

[malfoykink-deactivated20170615]

@jkrowling

where are my bisexual hufflepuffs?

where are my asexual ravenclaws?

where are my trans gryffindors?

where are my genderfluid slytherins?

ITS 2016 WHERE ARE MY LGBT HOGWARTS STUDENTS?

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

[fuckyeahasexual]

Not For Ally bags, shirts and more! Available in Asexual Purple and Aro Green. 

[fuckyeahasexual]

@alcoholic-grandma oops 

[ikkanrana]

[x]

[pottersalbus]

Harry Potter x Malcolm in the Middle. Insp. (x)