"Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head!"
For some people it is hard to express their feelings.
I am one of those people.
I am terrified when I have to do such thing, I would rather run a 10k. (Note: I despise running.)
But sometimes having a blog to do it without that person knowing is great!
This is what this post is about.
I want to express my feelings about a boy.
His name is Paul. (Not really. I just felt the need to give the guy a name and since I've had a major crush on the lead singer of Interpol, Paul Banks, I figured that was the name to make up. Go ahead, Google him. Promise he's good to look at in that rocker, dorky sort of way.)
Well anyway. Paul is a guy I've known for centuries. (Obviously an exaggeration.) We've known each other since as long as we can both remember. But the difference is that I've had a crush on him.
I always wanted to believe he shared the same sentiments. I did my best to read "signs" that were never there of proof that he clearly likes me.
Even when he's had a girlfriend I always believed that there were mutual feelings beyond friendship between the both of us.
Right now he is with one of his new girlfriends.
She's pretty, I'll give her that.
But what changes this one is that today I had a HUGE/MASSIVE realization.
He doesn't like me as more than friends.
He would have made it known by now.
The reason I had the realization today is because I was checking out his Facebook.
Paul has all these posts of how he's out and about with his GF and how they're having so much fun and spending so much time together.
Not only did I realize this has been his longest girlfriend (they have been together for over a year now) but I also realized that he can possibly marry her and I will be here at home dwelling over my feelings for him.
So today is a brand new day thanks to that realization. I am officially on the road to forgetting about him as ever being a potential boyfriend.
I just truly hope that I won't start with my feelings all over again next time I see Paul.
I will try my best to remain strong.
I can do this!
I am Boot Camp Tough! (End cheer we do at the end of Boot Camp class everyday :) )
That is all for now.
Au revoir,
Beddie X















