Error 143

Not responsible for what you understand.

[beealexine]

Babe, if you are looking at my Tumblr right now, I want you to know that I love you more than anything.

— A

[beealexine]

07.17.19 // 3:40am

To the person who’s behind all these moments, thank you. Thank you for making sure that I’ll be at my happiest all the time. You make impossible things, possible. Di ko na iisa-isahin. Baka di na ako matapos eh. Sobrang haba ng list mo on “how to make Alex happy” eh. Hahaha. Galing mo lang kasi you never fail to make me happy. Hands down. I feel so loved and appreciated.

Sorry to disappoint you for the nth time. Sorry if I didn’t look for even just a thing to make me stay kahit super hard. I made a really bad choice for giving up on you without putting up a fight. Without talking to you properly. Kase I know that I’ll regret this every single day and I promised not to bother you if I leave again, and I will. Kahit gusto kong maging unfair at kulitin ka and all, kahit isa na lang. But no. I’ll let you live your life without me para makausad. Ayoko nang maging burden sayo. I don’t want to make things worse. Okay na lang. Okay na. I dunno hanggang kailan masakit to but as long as you’re the reason, it’s fine. My bad. My loss. I was so lucky to have you pero nangibabaw yung pride I know, and I’m sorry for that.

Sabi nila if you can’t save the relationship at least save the friendship. Sana pwede. Sana di na lang natapos. Pero kailangan. And di mo ako sinukuan kahit punyeta ako. LOL. Sobrang dami kong “sana” na nasayang. Na sana di ko na lang ginawa para sana nandiyan ka pa. Nagmahal ka ng tanga kaya wag ka nang magtaka. Sabi ko nga, di ako sigurado sa bukas at sa darating pa, pero sana... sana nandun ka.

I just hope that I made you happy even just for awhile. And you felt the love that I give. As much as I want to take care of you, I can’t so please be safe always. I’ll never forget having you in my life. For richer or for poorer ang peg natin pero tang ina sobrang saya ko nung nandiyan ka. Ugh. Let me call you “baby” for the last time. Lol. Sorry for everything. As in. If given a chance na may mabalikan sa past, ikaw at ikaw lang yung pipiliin ko, swear. Yung pagsisi ko abot langit puta. Lol. Super mamimiss kita and that’s for sure. I love you baby. Sobra sobra.

— A

[beealexine]

I always tell people to choose happiness at all times. And I find it ironic how I can’t do what I preach as I am just constantly sad. No matter what I do to smile, fate will only give me another reason to cry. What did I even do to deserve all this? Why was I given a less meaningful life?

— A

[beealexine]

You’ll wake up one day, and you’ll feel tired, and you won’t want to let anyone in, not anymore. Not this time. Not another time. Not again. It happens with age, or it happens with an accumulation of spare socks that used to belong to the people who loved you, or it happens with a Facebook memory that pops up on a Sunday arvo when you’re trying to eat an adobo for lunch, and all of a sudden you’re jolted back into a world of hurt and it feels like the opposite of happy hour.

I know that being hurt once feels like a tragedy but I have a feeling I’ll find that never being hurt again feels worse.

[beealexine]

Do you miss someone?

Every day yes. Lol

[beealexine]

I will no longer hold you accountable for my happiness nor for my choices. I will shatter the walls you built leaving me entrapped.

This is me, telling you to fuck off and stay in my past. This is me, leaving you behind, taking the steps to leave you behind. This is me closing the door and leaving the love I thought I deserve.

A

[beealexine]

Let’s start with a clean slate.