I’m just an ordinary girl who loves nothing more than her family, friends and music. Those three helps me survive the torture but sweet life of being an architecture student. But how could possibly one person just enter your life and make you believe that you can be loved once again?
Actually, I never stopped believing in love. I have a broken family that’s why as much as possible, everyone around me would show how much they love me. That’s why I always believed in love. I’ll always will.
A guy then came into my life. He made me believe that one man can love me again. He made me believe that chivalry isn’t dead. He made me believe in so many things; including love. I’m writing this right now because i can’t tell him what my plans are the moment he wakes up. But I hope this will clearly explain things to him why i have to do it.
First thing’s first. I’m sorry I have to do this. I just need some time to think things over. What’s really going on between us. I feel like this whole thing is one sided and that won’t really work. The past few months we’ve hanged out and chat, I was lucky to have the chance to get to know you even more. Your dark past and all the sadness that I see in your eyes. I know it all. Each one of them.
But why do i have this feeling that you barely know me in my part?
We both know very well that i’m more experienced with being in a relationship with someone; and I have to tell you that this wasn’t my first time feeling like this towards someone. Although it has to be like that but you are honestly the first guy who’s willing to do something for love. For me.
I almost fell so deeply inlove with someone a year before I met you. What happened really was I think I scared him away. I scared him with the thoughts that i could possibly understand what he’s going through and then I was too good to be true. That’s why he left me hanging. This thing with you is a whole lot different because you give me the love you think I deserve and i’m thankful for that.
Babe, remember how you tell me about the sweet flicks you’ve seen and how you want to apply those to your story? You can but please make your story way cheesier and nicer than you could ever imagine it would be. Being with me is a rollercoaster. It’s no joke. I’ve been through worse and i know that I want something real with you. I’m 50% childish, 40% matured and 10% stupid about things.
You know when you told me about yourself being sick? It never bothered me because I know deep inside, you’re strong. When I witnessed to myself that you were a hot tempered guy? I never stopped reminding you of how you could talk things over to a person rather than punching him. Whenever we talk up until it’s 3am? All I want is for you to overcome what happened to you in the past and remind you that we’re all here for you. I’m here.
I need you to understand me just as much I can understand you.
I needed you so badly that i’ve spoiled you with too much attention and started not caring anymore about how I feel. I have to do this because I have to know again what’s my worth.
I’m crying as I write this. I’m crying myself to sleep again because i don’t want to burden you anymore. Right now, you’re probably dead asleep and taking a rest for you have a fever.
Tell me then, do you still care? Or you just love the attention im giving you?
Please never think that i left you. I just really need this. I never talked to you all of this because you’ve always had your chance. Every single day. I thought you’d know that this is possible to happen because of how i’ve been feeling so helpless and useless recently. There are so many things I could say right to you right now but i’d rather not because i still don’t know how to tell you.
I’m sorry again in advance.
You'll be always in my heart no matter what happens. Remember that.
