He said yes! @texascub86
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@beefnbier
He said yes! @texascub86
Will surprised me with an amazing guided bike tour for my Birthday. It was very exciting since we discovered a lot of unique and interesting places you normally wouldn't see. Ending the day with a Michelin Star Dinner made this Birthday pretty much perfect ❤️
1 year anniversary - 365 days & 365 pics of us ❤️❤️
Fun day being tourist-ish and checking out Plaça de España and Arenas de Barcelona (at Plaza España-Palacio De Congresos De Montjuïc)
Words can’t express how incredibly awesome this picture is that @therealraphelt drew 😍😍#bearcomics #bearsinlove #bearlove
Resurrection? Nope, we’re staying in bed.
Beef n Bier does Sitges, Spain 🇪🇸 @therealraphelt @texascub86
Thirst Struggles
(This text is about my own and Wills struggles with thirst and our respective past. Everybody is free to do whatever he or she feels is right and doesn’t hurt anyone else; hence no judgement whatsoever intended.)
For almost ten years I lived in a world of hypersexuality.
Every free moment was filled with sex, or at least with the search for it. I had a folder called “Fun” on my phone - in it, all the apps I apparently needed for the latter. Growlr, Scruff, Gayromeo, Gayroyal, Mobli, Grindr, Bearwww. Google Maps was tuned in a way, that it would show good cruising-areas. I had several secret Facebook and WhatsApp-Groups for all kinds of sex-related stuff, be it orgies, pop-up sex parties, or for friends with benefits. I had apps from bathhouses that would document my visits so you would get vouchers and free passes after a certain number of attendances. My vacation-schedule was meticulously build around Bear-Events worldwide. Weekends were bound to be hook-up days - I had a special calendar for that called - you might’ve already guessed it right - “Fun”. After all, I’m german and we love being efficient. I wouldn’t recognize names or even faces when people would write me messages on WhatsApp - but indeed their nude-pictures.
I became really good at basing my self-esteem almost purely on my sex-performance. My personal - even professional - life was sex-driven and I was unable to escape this vortex by my own.
Until the day Will bumped into my life - and nothing was the same. The apps, groups, maps - all those were wiped away by the presence of this man. Not because he asked me to remove them, but because I just deleted them myself, without questioning, without knowing what impact this would have on… basically everything.
Committing myself to a relationship with only one man, being exclusive, might be by far the craziest thing of my entire adult (gay) life. I was so good, so experienced, so comfortable with my old patterns, they were the kerosine that fueled my ego.
Now, every day of exclusiveness feels new to me, I feel clumsy in my own new reality. People, the scene, realizes I’m not part of the old game anymore; I still very often receive messages asking for hook-ups or trios and a negative response usually leads to ignoring me forever. A rather sad and confusing side of the Bear-Cosmos.
The community expects me to perform - and not to change. Receiving support is a rare thing, mostly I’m being confronted with skepticism at best, if not with blunt rejection. It seems that everyone is waiting for the precise moment for us to fall. My behavior is considered naive and hopelessly romantic stupid.
Will has had a very similar past. We talked about it and our consecutive mutual struggles, as the rose tinted glasses slowly wore off. We came to the conclusion that being open to casual dates and hookups would put us back in the old world and reverse the growth we both have experienced so far. We talked about being sincere and honest, about how easy it would be to be deceitful (again) living 6000KM/3000Miles apart and not telling each other about our sexual escapades. Don’t ask, don’t tell, right? We concluded, that we both don’t want to destroy the pureness of our love, despite all the struggles we go through.
The realization of how mighty old patterns are, of how strongly dick-controlled we might be, is for sure quite bitter.
But realizing that we both are able to change and venture through those struggles, hand in hand, embracing our own past; is the sweetest, most precious thing of my entire life. And I can’t ever be thankful enough for that.
- Alex (Bier)
I am learning that love takes the ability to be brave and face difficult challenges hand in hand and accepting the outcome no matter what. Alexander admittedly hasn't gotten tested for HIV in well over a year while I have done so every 3-5 months over the past few years (more recently every 3 months as I'm on PrEP). So I decided to get 2 home HIV tests and Alex was extremely nervous to take it. So many questions suddenly hit us, how would we feel, what will the outcome be? The results take 20 mins, and during which Alex became very silent. When it was time to check, Alex asked for a few more minutes before looking, tears in his eyes. We both are no saints. We've done many things that might have been fun but not always safe. I saw in him fear that these results would change everything. And they did. We are both negative but that's not what changed. We both saw the importance of taking each other's hand and facing a difficult situation. Our whole relationship has been difficult and unconventional, and facing challenges as a team has been a key factor to overcoming the unknown and uncomfortable. I say all this to say that I am overjoyed for difficulties because it is in them that you find your true strength. Knowing your status is important and I urge everyone to get tested regularly. We must take care of each other no matter what and be the allies we ask the world to be to our community. Will (Beef)
“I wish we could drive to that lake and listen to the waves with you.” “Just make a right here Baby.”
This.
❤
Happy holidays from Beef n Bier!!!
End of June 2016, I (Alex/Bier) returned for my 2nd trip to NYC.
Things had changed quite dramatically since the first time visited. I had a boyfriend in New York City now! Everything was crazy, electric yet mellow at the same time! After a remarkably fun and grotesquely delicious dinner-party with Questlove and a lot of other celebrities (more details about that chapter saved for another post) we decided to take a walk in the warm breeze of the gentle summer night. After a while, we found ourselves standing in the middle of Brooklyn Bridge.
It was at this precise spot the above foto was taken where we started talking about the real shit. About having a closed or open relationship; about honesty; about the endless list of past hookups; about the scars in our hearts previous partners or other significant people left there; about all the inconveniences of having a long-distance relationship. Finances! Kids! Race! Sex! Expectations for the next 2,3, 5 years!
Then, silence. Cars driving over that bridge, completely muted.
Everything was said, we poured out our greatest fears on that Bridge, exposed ourselves in the most vulnerable way possible. By this vulnerability, we opened up in a way that would give the other the power to destroy each other with the blink of an eye. But instead we embraced each other.
That night, we crossed that bridge; into a radically new and different chapter of our lives. Together.
Rooftop view when Alex first came to visit my job in May 2016. I love this photo for several reasons but most of all because it almost is metaphorical to how we are looking off to future with a big world in front of us to see. Side by side, one city at a time ❤️ - Beef
On our very last day of my first visit to NYC, Laying together in bed, After a silence so intense you could hear the others heartbeat, After shaking of fear of rejection, fear of getting hurt yet again, fear of digging into old wounds again, After crying tears hot as lava, after not being able to talk, just listening to the universe unfold, We confessed the unthinkable, our Love, the very first time, to this song.
I kid you not.
Bier
He (aint) got (no) money
“You guys ALWAYS travel”, “You must be rich”, “You actually have to work at all?” - those are the standard phrases we get when people see us or our postings on Facebook, Instagram, etc. This is indeed very true. Will and I are both Millionaires, we just pretend to be working-class people to get to socialize a bit with our coworkers and to not get bored cruising in our Teslas all day. Joking aside, this post is all about getting rid of the myth of us being rich kids with unlimited resources. Both Will and I are have jobs that pay decently (we both also have normal amounts of holidays) but by no means making us rich - there are a lot of bills to be paid each month. It essentially boils down to two major facts, that combined, make it possible that we see each other almost every 4 weeks. Commitment and planning. Commitment in the sense, that maintaining a deep, loving and authentic relationship requires a lot of communication and sticking to plans that we forge together. We evaluate a lot of possibilities, make sure each of us knows what happens during the year, what are occurrences we are not able to push; we make sure to take advantage of Spanish and US public holidays whenever possible. We squeeze the maximum out of every coupon, cheap/error-fare flights and money saving apps and websites. We try to pick the best times to book flights and get the best deals for hotels. No car-rental we don’t have some kind of customer-card for cheaper rentals, no major airline we’re not collecting miles or bonuses.
For those who might look for good travel-planning tools too:
https://www.google.de/flights/
THE default-travel-tool; maps the year with your travel dates and cheapest flights, lets you observe price-developments and sign up for alarms. https://www.holidaypirates.com
Specializes in locating error-fares, out-of-season- and last-minute-deals.
All public-transport apps too. Uber, Flynder, Taxis are comfy - but an Uber ride Saturday night from Manhattan to Queens can easily cost you around 60$ - that makes almost 2 weeks of public NYC Transport. Now excuse me, I want to dip into our Jacuzzi and have some champagne with my Boo in it. Bier(Alex)
📸: 5.12.16 After about 8 months of conversation, Alex (Bier) decided to hop on a plane from Germany and come visit me in NYC. I ended up surprising him at the airport as I was supposed to be at work but went in late so that I could properly welcome him. This is our first time meeting and little did we both know, an avalanche of bliss was soon to follow ❤️🏳️🌈 - Will (Beef)
Humble beginnings... A Modern Day Love Story Sometimes all it takes is a animalistic howl to find the love of your life lol. Jokes aside, this is truly our first interaction. While lusty and a tad shallow in the sense that I had sex on my mind from the moment I saw Alex, I took a chance on initiating a conversation with him despite the fact that there was an ocean and several countries between us. Call it fate or destiny but taking this leap of faith in spite of inconvenience has yielded an immeasurable trove of happiness and love. Digging deeper beyond what's convenient and exploring the depths of each other's minds and being forced to withhold being physical broke of vicious cycle of hooking up as a temporary fix and gave way for us to find everlasting love. Be open to what the universe has in store and never fear what may seem unrealistic or impossible. Love is fearless and rewards only the brave. - Will (Beef)