#bearsinlove

[beefnbier]

He said yes! @texascub86

[evyphotographies]

Les deux ours amoureux <3

ISO 125 - 55mm - f/5,6 - 1/400s

[beefnbier]

Will surprised me with an amazing guided bike tour for my Birthday. It was very exciting since we discovered a lot of unique and interesting places you normally wouldn't see. Ending the day with a Michelin Star Dinner made this Birthday pretty much perfect ❤️

[beefnbier]

1 year anniversary - 365 days & 365 pics of us ❤️❤️

[beefnbier]

Beef n Bier does Sitges, Spain 🇪🇸 @therealraphelt @texascub86

[beefnbier]

Thirst Struggles

(This text is about my own and Wills struggles with thirst and our respective past. Everybody is free to do whatever he or she feels is right and doesn’t hurt anyone else; hence no judgement whatsoever intended.)

For almost ten years I lived in a world of hypersexuality.

Every free moment was filled with sex, or at least with the search for it. I had a folder called “Fun” on my phone - in it, all the apps I apparently needed for the latter. Growlr, Scruff, Gayromeo, Gayroyal, Mobli, Grindr, Bearwww. Google Maps was tuned in a way, that it would show good cruising-areas. I had several secret Facebook and WhatsApp-Groups for all kinds of sex-related stuff, be it orgies, pop-up sex parties, or for friends with benefits. I had apps from bathhouses that would document my visits so you would get vouchers and free passes after a certain number of attendances. My vacation-schedule was meticulously build around Bear-Events worldwide. Weekends were bound to be hook-up days - I had a special calendar for that called - you might’ve already guessed it right - “Fun”. After all, I’m german and we love being efficient. I wouldn’t recognize names or even faces when people would write me messages on WhatsApp - but indeed their nude-pictures.

I became really good at basing my self-esteem almost purely on my sex-performance. My personal - even professional - life was sex-driven and I was unable to escape this vortex by my own.

Until the day Will bumped into my life - and nothing was the same. The apps, groups, maps - all those were wiped away by the presence of this man. Not because he asked me to remove them, but because I just deleted them myself, without questioning, without knowing what impact this would have on… basically everything.

Committing myself to a relationship with only one man, being exclusive, might be by far the craziest thing of my entire adult (gay) life. I was so good, so experienced, so comfortable with my old patterns, they were the kerosine that fueled my ego.

Now, every day of exclusiveness feels new to me, I feel clumsy in my own new reality. People, the scene, realizes I’m not part of the old game anymore; I still very often receive messages asking for hook-ups or trios and a negative response usually leads to ignoring me forever. A rather sad and confusing side of the Bear-Cosmos.

The community expects me to perform - and not to change. Receiving support is a rare thing, mostly I’m being confronted with skepticism at best, if not with blunt rejection. It seems that everyone is waiting for the precise moment for us to fall. My behavior is considered naive and hopelessly romantic stupid.

Will has had a very similar past. We talked about it and our consecutive mutual struggles, as the rose tinted glasses slowly wore off. We came to the conclusion that being open to casual dates and hookups would put us back in the old world and reverse the growth we both have experienced so far. We talked about being sincere and honest, about how easy it would be to be deceitful (again) living 6000KM/3000Miles apart and not telling each other about our sexual escapades. Don’t ask, don’t tell, right? We concluded, that we both don’t want to destroy the pureness of our love, despite all the struggles we go through.

The realization of how mighty old patterns are, of how strongly dick-controlled we might be, is for sure quite bitter.

But realizing that we both are able to change and venture through those struggles, hand in hand, embracing our own past; is the sweetest, most precious thing of my entire life. And I can’t ever be thankful enough for that.

- Alex (Bier)

[beefnbier]

I am learning that love takes the ability to be brave and face difficult challenges hand in hand and accepting the outcome no matter what. Alexander admittedly hasn't gotten tested for HIV in well over a year while I have done so every 3-5 months over the past few years (more recently every 3 months as I'm on PrEP). So I decided to get 2 home HIV tests and Alex was extremely nervous to take it. So many questions suddenly hit us, how would we feel, what will the outcome be? The results take 20 mins, and during which Alex became very silent. When it was time to check, Alex asked for a few more minutes before looking, tears in his eyes. We both are no saints. We've done many things that might have been fun but not always safe. I saw in him fear that these results would change everything. And they did. We are both negative but that's not what changed. We both saw the importance of taking each other's hand and facing a difficult situation. Our whole relationship has been difficult and unconventional, and facing challenges as a team has been a key factor to overcoming the unknown and uncomfortable. I say all this to say that I am overjoyed for difficulties because it is in them that you find your true strength. Knowing your status is important and I urge everyone to get tested regularly. We must take care of each other no matter what and be the allies we ask the world to be to our community. Will (Beef)

[druffbear]

Two years has flown by...I mean the 22 before that kind of felt like they flew too...so here's a big HAPPY 2nd ANNIVERSARY to @chinwburbs! He of course bought me flowers because he's thoughtful...and cookies because he's awesome...and chocolate because he's the best gift giver...plus the card that was perfect because he's amazing . Here's to 2, and 22 more...you are my world! 💀❤️🐻♾️ #robgivesthebestgifts #anniversary #gaybear #bearsinlove #skullslovesbear (at Château Ruff-N-Baker CLT Edition) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch5rUr1LsJZ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=