my piece (both art and writing) for Carrier of Dreams yume collab! story featured Sukuna and Dan (my ocsona), centered around the uncharted waters of their upcoming parenthood.
full story below ⬇️
“I’m so scared.”
For the last week, Sukuna had been a steadfast support for his troubled wife. The second trimester hasn’t been kind to her–despite all the Google search results saying this should’ve been the “Golden Period” instead. Maybe it was only the beginning, how the hormonal spikes from the first trimester were still easing down and settling in her body. Or maybe… Dan was the exception to the rule.
Whatever it was, the last week hadn’t been easy to navigate in their home.
“What’s on your mind?”, he made his way across the kitchen, coming up behind her, and saw where her eyes were fixated on. In between magnets of cute characters they’ve collected, or places they–or their friends–have been, the printed result of their daughter’s ultrasound was being held on by a Universal Studios one. A t-rex from Jurassic Park had its maw opened with the paper held in between its rows of teeth.
“I don’t want her to inherit my nervous system.”, Dan murmured, sounding almost dejected and hopeless when their daughter hasn’t even been born yet. “She’d be an eldest daughter, Kun, what if she ends up like me?”
Ah, yes. One of the major things Dan had shared with him in the early days of dating. She was terrified to bear a child. Terrified of having herself cut open, terrified of having complications, but worst of all, she was terrified of ending up like her mother.
Sukuna never liked the woman. He had only met her mother once, and that was enough for a lifetime. Through the years of their relationship, he listened to Dan’s plight, to the things her mother had said to her, done to her, and asked of her. It was one of the fires that lit under his ass to get her out of that house and move in with him.
In the end, they succeed… Despite the roundabout way of getting it.
“I want her to end up like you, hon.”, he calmly replied, snaking an arm around her collarbones from behind and pulling her flushed onto him. Her fears were justified, albeit silly. He knew Dan. Even if she was angry, she wouldn’t lash out at bystanders. She cared about other people–too much, even. “Because you’re not your mother.”
“But I am her daughter.”, Dan sighed before hiding her face in her hands, slumping forward a little against his arm. “I remembered the moments I got so angry because I had to take care of my siblings… How I felt so irritated because I got dumped with responsibilities that were actually burdens.”
“Keyword: dumped.”, Sukuna interrupted her venting, gently turning her around so they could look at each other. “You hated those responsibilities because those were dumped on you without your consent. This would be different. I’d be here for you too, baby.”
He could see the light slowly coming back to her eyes, to the realization that her life now didn’t have to be that hard anymore. Dan had carried the burden of the world on her shoulders for the 26-years before she had met him. He knew that, and since they started dating, Sukuna swore to never let her carry anything more than she wanted to.
“What if I still somehow mess up, Kun?”, she asked as she turned around again, eyes returning to focus on the fuzzy black-and-white blobs of their unborn child. Her hand unconsciously cradling her growing stomach as well. “What if I am toxic in different ways as she gets older… Maybe instead of being a narc, I’d be absent? And she hates me for it?”
Sukuna stayed quiet for a moment, looking at the ultrasound, the distorted reflection of both of them, on the silver surface of the refrigerator. His mother wasn’t the picture-perfect mom either, but compared to Dan’s, she might as well be anointed as a saint. “Isn’t that what being a parent is?”, he mused, leaning forward so he could rest his chin on top of her head. “We’d figure out how to be the best, stumble around, make mistakes… We can be the perfect textbook parent, and our child can still end up hating us.”
“That’s true…”
“Besides… You’re worrying about it already means you wouldn’t be like your mom.”, he planted a kiss on top of her head and let his free hand rest on top of hers, cradling the soft, growing swell of her belly. “You’re kind, you are caring, you put others before yourself, which frustrates the hell out of me–”, Sukuna laughed softly before continuing, “And despite everything, I know you still have such a gentle heart that I hope our daughter would inherit. You are your own person, and our daughter would genuinely love you.”
His wife stayed silent, and he thought he had said something wrong. Instead, he felt tears dripped down onto his arm before her body gently shook in his embrace. “Hey, hey, I didn’t say you can cry!”, Sukuna scolded her, yet no heat in his words as he turned her around once again by her shoulders.
“I hate you so much for knowing what to say!”, Dan cried harder than before, burying her face in his chest as she turned into a full-blown sobbing mess. “Why can’t you just let me lament in peace?!”
A smile curled the corner of his lips, and the only right thing to do at the moment was to hug her through her emotions, so he did. “Unfortunately for you, we are married, so it’s in my legal rights to make sure my wife doesn’t beat herself up over what-if’s.”
Dan just cried harder, muffled by his shirt and chest, while her arms wrapped around his waist like he was a buoy in the middle of a stormy sea. In retrospect, he really was that. All her life, she only knew of stress and intense everything. Words held back, goals became a hundred times harder to achieve, and everything had to be done by herself if she wanted to see it bear any fruit.
Dan never knew of ease–until she met Sukuna.
“I’ll be here for you too, you know that.”, he whispered as he tightened his arms around her, careful enough so her stomach wouldn’t be squished between them. “I had a great dad… and now thanks to you, I get the chance to be like him.”, Sukuna sighed and nuzzled his cheek against the side of her head. “You’re giving me another lease on life, hon. I owe you my life and more for carrying our child.”
They stayed there until her crying had quieted down, the tremors on her shoulders eased out, and his wife pulled away slightly as she sucked in air through stuffy nose. “Shh… You’re okay, I’m here.”, he reached out for the paper towel nearby–not ideal, but it would do–and helped her gently dab the remaining tears away before letting her blow her nose on it.
“Sorry if I’m being such a damper…”, Dan hiccupped, prompting him to grab her tumbler from the counter so she could have a drink after such a cry.
“I’ve expected it.”, Sukuna shrugged with a small smirk. His hand gently pushed some strands of hair from her face as she sipped big gulps of water from her sticker-clad tumbler. God, he found her so cute with her post-crying face. Something he wouldn’t say to her now, just in case the mood ended up sour once more. “Now, can we look at our daughter’s picture without any negativity?”
Dan glanced up at him with a knowing frown, knowing he was teasing her hormonal outburst. “You’re the one who got me pregnant, meaning this negativity came from you.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”, he guffawed and pressed a kiss on her forehead, then her temple, her cheek, before the last one on her lips.
She was scared of the uncertainties of parenthood, so did he. But all he knew was that they now had each other to carry through.
