Insatiable

Game over.

[beforethemilkspoiled]

Compassion is a thorned crown

My heart- eaten by my stomach

Alongside chewed up fingernails and pride.

Swimming in the smoke of my belly.

I press my fingers under my skin, pushing it further down until I choke.

[beforethemilkspoiled]

[beforethemilkspoiled]

i am selfish at my core.

[beforethemilkspoiled]

[pompeii-rising]

I’ve never known god

But I talked to him once

From the arms of the devil.

[beforethemilkspoiled]

[beforethemilkspoiled]

I held my breath for three days.

Guarded your body, as if you too would rise back up, just like the story goes.

I begged God to give us a second chance.

To allow you to live.

To let you return, just as his only son had done once.

I promised I would be better this time.

That I would pray and mean it.

That I would seek penance.

I would trade every freedom I had to make you wake up. To feel sunlight against your face.

To hear your mothers voice. To hold your father.

I held my breath for your return.

On the third day, I asked god what he has to say about broken promises.

[beforethemilkspoiled]

How did I find myself here.

What have I done.

How do I stay?

[proartspb]

Fig tree that grows upside down, the Park of the Baths of Baia on the shore of the Bay of Naples

[beforethemilkspoiled]

Most of us take an opportunity we are given and make the best of it.

Not me.

I take it and I strip it whole. I chip at it until its nothing.

And then I ask myself who is responsible for this mess?

How do you mourn for someone that you lost a long time ago? How do I say that I am sorry and I love you.

Thank you for being my friend.

Thank you for keeping my secrets.

Thank you for seeing me.

For being kind when no one was watching.

I should have tried harder to make amends. I should have tried harder to see you. To know you. After years of silence between us.

I should have tried.

I dont know how to say goodbye.

I dont know how to keep you alive.

[beforethemilkspoiled]

Had a strange dream you found your way back to me. Hidden behind a mirror in the corner of a room, with nothing but vicious intentions.

Disrupted my life as you always did.

Hate the feeling of seeing you again. Hate that no matter how far I get away from you, you surface like time hasn’t already erased you.

[beforethemilkspoiled]

Have you ever searched for yourself Somewhere you don’t belong.

[sweetheartsandcharacters]

Behind the scenes on the sets of “The Twilight Zone”.

[champagnepapucho-deactivated201]

[beforethemilkspoiled]

Life is wild.

[cinemabun]

Claire’s Knee (Eric Rohmer, 1970)

[beforethemilkspoiled]