Compassion is a thorned crown
My heart- eaten by my stomach
Alongside chewed up fingernails and pride.
Swimming in the smoke of my belly.
I press my fingers under my skin, pushing it further down until I choke.

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Compassion is a thorned crown
My heart- eaten by my stomach
Alongside chewed up fingernails and pride.
Swimming in the smoke of my belly.
I press my fingers under my skin, pushing it further down until I choke.
i am selfish at my core.
I’ve never known god
But I talked to him once
From the arms of the devil.
I held my breath for three days.
Guarded your body, as if you too would rise back up, just like the story goes.
I begged God to give us a second chance.
To allow you to live.
To let you return, just as his only son had done once.
I promised I would be better this time.
That I would pray and mean it.
That I would seek penance.
I would trade every freedom I had to make you wake up. To feel sunlight against your face.
To hear your mothers voice. To hold your father.
I held my breath for your return.
On the third day, I asked god what he has to say about broken promises.
How did I find myself here.
What have I done.
How do I stay?
Fig tree that grows upside down, the Park of the Baths of Baia on the shore of the Bay of Naples
Most of us take an opportunity we are given and make the best of it.
Not me.
I take it and I strip it whole. I chip at it until its nothing.
And then I ask myself who is responsible for this mess?
How do you mourn for someone that you lost a long time ago? How do I say that I am sorry and I love you.
Thank you for being my friend.
Thank you for keeping my secrets.
Thank you for seeing me.
For being kind when no one was watching.
I should have tried harder to make amends. I should have tried harder to see you. To know you. After years of silence between us.
I should have tried.
I dont know how to say goodbye.
I dont know how to keep you alive.
Had a strange dream you found your way back to me. Hidden behind a mirror in the corner of a room, with nothing but vicious intentions.
Disrupted my life as you always did.
Hate the feeling of seeing you again. Hate that no matter how far I get away from you, you surface like time hasn’t already erased you.
Have you ever searched for yourself Somewhere you don’t belong.
Behind the scenes on the sets of “The Twilight Zone”.
Life is wild.
Claire’s Knee (Eric Rohmer, 1970)