War

[cyanjadeexists]

INSANE RAMBLINGS OF A BUTCH LESBIAN

[beginthewar]

I was actually thinking about his earlier and my previous head canon of Lace being trans has now transitioned to her being gender fluid depending on how she presents/how much she hates her mother that day. Two big booms for you Tumblr user

I've also particularly loved the idea that Lace presents as masc solely to piss off anyone that follows GMS/her mother. She's bitter and it's funny and that's all the motivation she needs

[beginthewar]

I decided to compile all my Lace/Lacenet thoughts

Lace can be stained

Imagine being stained from the blood of your enemies and you need to be washed in a very specific way or else your skin tightens and becomes too small to cover you

Lace really needs an endoskeleton

Something tells me Lace would like an ant farm just to feed them

Leafcutters are her favorite. What do you mean they carry tiny bits of leaves and have a poop pile. What do you mean they create cute pathetic marching lines

I think Lace has chronic nightmares about being alone because she was for so long between whenever Phantom was forced into the organ and when she met Hornet so she's terrified of being alone all the time but she can't ever say that because that's so embarrassing so she follows Hornet everywhere and stayed where she knows Hornet will come at least ONCE so that she doesn't wake up alone

Furthermore if she wakes up and Hornet isn't immediately next to her she WILL have a panic attack

Lace smells a lot of Hornet's clothes and Hornet knows but doesn't say anything because she knows Lace is fucking weird when really she just wants some form of Hornet existing outside of her vision because no one really has in her life

Whenever Lace wasn't being a "daughter" in gms' eyes gms would take away some kind of function. Like her eyes. Or her hands. 'If you're loyal you'll get them back' SYBAU WE KNOW YOU WERE EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE

I also think Lace had a problem with saying her C's so she couldn't say her name properly and that one bit of personhood that really endeared her to Phantom gms took from her because her saw it as an error and she's shit at biology

Lace is incredibly clingy. Like soooo clingy. She will grab Hornet whenever she feels like it and hide under her dress and piggyback on her when she's angry and Hornet will let it happen. Why idk yet

Uhhhhhhh

Oh yeah Threadborne is um. Okay my computer hates the internet. Thankfully I have another one and will be getting a tablet soon so update when that happens. Hhhhhh I'm tired

Love these gay bugs though

[little-whelp]

Casualties: Unknown's Mindwipe really scares me cause like. that's it. In a few seconds, you're gone forever. It's a product of the beings who see you as little more than the end result, put into an unassuming pill container. A last resort to ensure they still have a warm body they can use; dehumanizing, in a most literal form.

I wonder, with the pain consuming your mind, if you'd feel terrified? Blissful maybe, because of the opiates? I wonder if the mechanisms to process that feeling would exist at all, or if they'd be the first to wash away under the tidal wave of neuron regeneration. A terrible fate, truly, engineered just for you.

[beginthewar]

Big rant about how the fuck Mindwipe and Braingrow works. Neural Booster is here too

Tw for suicide mention at the end

I've been thinking about this post a lot while playing Empires of the Undergrowth (fuck that Harvest level why is it so hard for no reason).

How did they find out that they could Mindwipe you? What went so wrong that it erased everything something was and turned it into a bored, mute body without any kind of will or opinion? Did they make the Mindwipe first to deal with unruly Experiments, or did they create Braingrow/neural boosters first as a way to save Experiments from brain damage? How was it discovered? How was it created? What was made first, Braingrow or Mindwipe?

Looking at the effects of Mindwipe, it nukes your hearing, turns you mute, erases your personality and emotions, and makes you stupid while fixing your brain for half of its value. Your hearing belongs to the temporal lobe, your voice to your cerebrum, your intelligence in perital and frontal lobe, and your personality/emotions to the frontal lobe. For someone to be near deaf, mute, and forcefully anhedonic (lack of ability to feel any kind of joy/pleasure. This is a real condition) while restoring brain health, ignoring how horrific it is, probably causes some kind of brain death or cancer that forces the nervous/circulatory system to, if not attack those parts of the brain (of which the drug heals), just... Ignore them and no longer consider those parts of the brain as a part of the brain anymore. It probably doesn't completely destroy those parts, since hearing can be restored and the item description specifically says it can be reversed with significant therapy - Which I'll get to - But a drug that can semi-permanently turn off 4 major functions of the brain whilst healing it is... Grim, to say the least.

It reminds me of those brain eating amebas or the mind control fungus, or even Rabies in its completeness. Not quite lack of control, but you have a simple, shrinking idea of what's happened to you. You're just so numb to it you don't care to find out what or why.

Back to mindwiping being reversible; in game, you have to claw your intelligence stat back up by making simple things to improve your knowledge retention, and build from nothing. If the scientists really wanted this to be permanent for Expies, or anyone, they wouldn't have made it reversible. They're depraved enough for that. No, Mindwipe being made or discovered was probably an accident via testing overdose effects on the Expies. It's probably listed as a side-effect on the bottle of Braingrow, if it was ever publicized and sold in pharmaceuticals.

Warning: Taking more than the recommended dosage of this product could result in the following: Anhedonia, deafness, mutism, and lowered intelligence capacity. Please seek your doctor for advisement if these are a concern.

Give me a fucking break.

And don't get me started on what the fuck Neural Boosters do if you take more than one. Instantly after injecting it into your body for the second time, you're blind, bleeding internally profusely, and Mindwiped. Everything hurts.

Here's how I think the order of discovery went:

Neural Booster, then they looked for something that wouldn't give you death and despair if you used it twice. Then came Braingrow, where it's a shirt waiting period to fix your brain damage. If you take it too fast, you get Mindwiped, which was an accidental discovery the scientists saw as useful for their purposes, and they separated the compound to specifically make bottles upon bottles of mindwipe to control the Expies.

Maybe, in this world, suicide rates are high, and they sell bottles of it to desperate families or the extremely mentally ill. Something tells me morals and ethics in this world have fallen 4th and 5th place to the economy, shareholders, and the stock market.

What an awful world to live in.

[beginthewar]

Fuck it. Either I post toxic yuri tonight or the start of cave diving furries getting assfucked by falls, starvation, and a big artificial dopamine boost by being called “good boy”

[beginthewar]

I chose to buttfuck a furry. It has gone well, there is already a Jesus parallel (How did I get here), an expie with frankly incredible amounts of anxiety, names being "coat things" and therefore curses that spell infinite death, and the implications of mindwipe, braingrow, and neural boosters. Fent will make an appearance soon I promise

[beginthewar]

AHHHH

Norah Fleetwood I love you

Spoilers for the new episode

YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF THE CAR

Holy shit that forest was doing literally everything it could to fucking GET her

From constricting her (I could tell Bizly was doing everything in his power as a dm to help Milo while keeping it scary with that hint) to making the Jabberwock (??????? WHAT THE FUCK WSS THAT WHY DID IT HAVE EYES) be her dad and then BEG her to open her eyes for 45 minutes

What the fuck do you mean it begged her for 45 straight minutes to look at it. What the fuck.

And then the forest followed her to the goddamn river

Honestly she deserved to pass out next to the road, she deserves to have a nice sleep after getting her leg broken, losing her dad probably, and seeing the horrors multiple times

[beginthewar]

Fuck it. Either I post toxic yuri tonight or the start of cave diving furries getting assfucked by falls, starvation, and a big artificial dopamine boost by being called “good boy”

[beginthewar]

007

[beginthewar]

What if I started posting the little comics of all the deaths my goobers have gone through. Hm. Thoughts to think about.

[beginthewar]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/73434796/chapters/221782201

I'm back! The hiatus was much needed and I am now spending 3 hours of my life studying the fundamental theorem of Calculus and am writing depression to cope! Silksong: Threadborne will continue to be updated until the end of this third, which will be in ~12 or so chapters. Happy reading!

If you're new here: Beware the tags.

[beginthewar]

Happy Valentines Day! To celebrate I posted the second most (subject to go down the list) depressing chapter in Threadborne. Go check it out:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/73434796/chapters/208695086

Unfortunately, the notes I took while writing it are too long, so here's the complete list without having to compete with ao3's character limit, uncommented; spoilers for Threadborne, obviously:

Poor girl over thought so much it didn’t stop until Hornet had to directly tell her that it was bad even though she knew and just couldn’t stop fixating on that fact

Lace please stop catastrophizing drink some water

You should get a decanter of endless water to ground yourself

Didn’t mean for her to depress this far but we stay balling

Can we get to 1000 words of her overthinking chat

We did

Lace I’m so sorry

Lace took you through the mental gymnastics done by an Olympic medalist to come to the conclusion that she has: 1) No free will, 2) Belongs to someone, and 3) Why she feels so broken and lost. Lace you need professional help and a hug

“Derogate” THESAURUS ALERT THESAURUS ALERT

Got that Aphid lore you wanted

Is it as tasty as you expected

The cogflies being this cute and Lace quietly loving them is not something I had on my Threadborne bingo card but I’m glad it is

OH MY GOODNESS WAIT THIS CAN HELP

Give Lace a pet it will make her feel so wanted and loved

Give her one of Eira’s kids she’ll take the best care of it

Lace reminiscing on the canonical tracks is so cute someone give this girl a music studio so she can recreate them

When writing the moment she realized she was fraying I really didn’t want to say emotions and just make it permeate the words because it’s more fun that way

Lace can never be free of her religious trauma huh

“Okay. This was happening now.” SAME REACTION LACE WTF IS GOING ON

Fear and anxiety are powerful things I guess

So I guess this is Threadborne’s first suicide attempt huh

I just winced and she hasn’t even started.

The idea of trying to kill yourself not because you think it’ll be better but because you think it’ll save you from ‘punishment’ is terrifying. I should probably add the psychological horror tag to Threadborne, huh.

“Avoiding writing voidheart like it’s worth an Olympic medal,” War says, trying to distract themselves from the fact that Lace is trying to kill herself by violently ripping off her skin

I’m making this last for more than a paragraph

I feel like the horror isn’t truly stated so I’ll say it here: Lace is doing the equivalent of tearing off the necrosis on her chest to rip out her heart and other vitals because she thinks it will be more merciful than whatever her anxiety tells her Hornet has planned after fracturing her arm and tearing off the skin and muscle on that same arm.

This is genuinely horrific and nightmarish to both write and experience

Do you have any idea how terrified you have to be of someone to try and kill yourself to avoid them, not life, and to be this desperate to die? This is lasting for more than a paragraph because I need to make sure this comes across correctly

This is a good length of her tearing herself apart I’d say

Now to make her obsess over what would happen if Hornet found out she did this to herself and catastrophise yayyyyy

God this is painful to write

Don’t mind me, just... Making an intensely traumatized and mentally ill girl have a mental breakdown over what another one would do to her... Yup... Oh God.

The best part about writing this is looking at it and going “Hm, do I need therapy?” and then subsequently “Nah I’m fine” and continuing to write the most potent self-hatred on the planet

I’m actually having a hard time writing this because I want her to be comforted

I mean she will in this chapter but... Man, I have such a love/hate relationship with psychologically ruining this character

Really earning that psychological horror tag, aren’t you Lace? Begging yourself to stop hating yourself because you’re confused on why you hate yourself...

Lace it’s far too easy to hate yourself you need to go to therapy

Well folks, that’s what we call self-loathing! I

I’m gonna

Take a break to eat

And uh

Cry

My heart breaks for you Lace, truly

I promise you’ll be at least content by the end of this

I’m over here writing about how Lace is crawling over to the mural of the Cradle and about how she is so incredibly bad at dealing with loss and then I hear the Savage Snake “spotted” sound effect

It’s okay Lace, you won’t be touch-starved soon dw

See what did I say

No longer touched starved

Now the next thing to solve is your ‘I don’t need to sleep’ problem and we’re good to move to the 1st finale

I want it to be done by 23 for a loose goalpost for the record

Hey did you know that Lace was supposed to deglove herself while painting the mural

You know now

Have fun sleeping tonight

[pharloom-white-knight]

Lace, do you feel touch differently from the average bug? Yours is an odd sort of shell, after all.

Do you feel pain less intensely? Need more pressure before you feel contact?

That's a very good question, kind stranger. I wish I could properly answer it, but unfortunately, I have no clear way of knowing how the average bug feels touch...

[axinitewolf]

so i spent my whole weekend doing nothing productive. haven’t studied for my midterms that are literally this week. just spent it being gay and playing minecraft and roblox. Am I cooked or what

[beginthewar]

When in doubt, be gay. Do crime. What are they gonna do ungay you

[beginthewar]

Oh boy another update before J disappear for a fortnight

Silksong: Threadborne has completed another arc, The Festival of the Void! Three chapters, 21k (6k more than The Surface). Enjoy, and I’ll see you on the 1st of February while my life ceases to get calmer!

Future updates say that constant weekly updates to TB should happen in around… Mid-February to around March-ish? But the next two movements should last us a while

https://archiveofourown.org/works/73434796

[beginthewar]

Can we talk about how horrific being Silksong is because I feel like we don't talk about it enough

The horrors under the cut because you deserve warning 👍

Translating it to human terms, being silkspun is basically being given a full human body that'll live for a while except over an unknown amount of time your skin and musculature (and bone depending on your headcanon) melt and fall off your body like wax and you need to constantly be molded and held up by strings to avoid coming apart

You decide how painful this is, I think it's painless because that's more horrific

Phantom was basically a skeleton when you kill them; if all the black stuff is their skeletal structure/what their silk binds to then you were fighting half a skeleton whose skin became a dress

Seeing Phantom like that from Lace's perspective and knowing everything about them must have really upped the trauma and fear of being "faulty" in her mother's eyes huh

[beginthewar]

Another Lacenet headcanon for the soul

Lace cries a few hours after sex/any declaration of love from Hornet because no one has ever told her that they loved her before - With Phantom it was implicit love but she never actually heard the words exist them, so now she cries about never feeling that wanted before by anyone ever and Hornet helps her through it

[beginthewar]

I found my phone has a stylus and have not stopped since. It is lagging from the sheer amount of bug yuri I've drawn.

I'm sure you can find the posts this was inspired by, I can't

Actually please find the posts this was inspired by they deserve to be credited

[beginthewar]

I know I've been slacking on updating this, but Silksong: Threadborne just finished its first arc! I'll be taking a break because quite honestly they have ruined my life and I need it to be unruined but I should be good after a fortnight. In the meanwhile, 16k words of these two trying to make it work are here!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/73434796/chapters/197067701