despite the alcohol in his system, sonny is fully aware of the fact that he shouldn’t be giving in so quickly, or giving in at all really. it wasn’t uncommon that he made the first move when it came to people he was interested in ( though he has had a good chunk of guys who have definitely initiated things before ), but it was very uncommon, or basically unseen, for him to make the first move by asking someone out on a date. landon was the first guy he has ever bothered to do that with. dancing with a stranger at a club was easy. sharing a joint with someone by a smoking area and it leading to a hook up was a piece of cake. even small talk at a bar was something that came very naturally to him because at his core, he was an extrovert. he never had issues initiating a conversation, carrying it on his back or making his intentions known, but something he didn’t do was ask people out on an actual date that didn’t involve going to a club or even drunk karaoke. something he definitely didn’t do was pretend to read at someone else’s job for a week straight to try and build up the courage to even talk to them in the first place, and something he especially didn’t do was put his heart on the line like that.
the one time he actually did, of course, it came back to bite him in the ass, and well, maybe it was for the better. maybe this is how things are meant to be, how they should unfold. yet, he was sitting next to the same guy he had wanted to avoid, and he couldn’t find it in himself to tell him to leave him alone. correction – he didn’t want to tell him to leave him alone, even though he knew he should. he smelled amazing, he looked even better, and sonny is reminded of why he had been so physically attracted to him since the moment he saw him. unfortunately, he’s also painfully reminded of their previous interaction, and there’s a hidden fear that something similar might happen. that he might talk to him out of boredom, get his hopes up, just to tell him he couldn’t be less interested. or worse, disregard the situation completely and tell him maybe he’ll see him around. landon’s intentions, whatever the hell they were, deeply confused sonny. on one hand, he was drunk and giddy to interact with him, completely captivated by him and embarrassingly enough, more than willing to brush their previous interaction off his shoulder, but on the other hand, he didn’t understand what his end game here was. he had so many questions, his mind running at a mile a minute, and the alcohol being consumed only seemed to make his thoughts even sloppier. maybe he shouldn’t give a damn and just go with the flow, which is how he usually is with things anyway. why did he care so much about this guy's opinion? why was he so pressed? why couldn’t he look away from those hypnotizing eyes of his?
it takes everything he has in him, it really does, but he tears his gaze away, grabs what remains of his drink and downs the last of it, setting the empty cup on the bar counter and exhaling. he didn’t need to drink more, but something told him he would need another with this interaction. even his name rolled off the tongue so easily. landon beckett – what a ridiculously nice name. “why does that sound sophisticated enough to be a character in the enola holmes movies?” he was mostly joking, but the name was so prim and proper, that sonny didn’t feel he was too far off. the thought made him chuckle even though it wasn’t really that funny, but he’s blaming the martini’s. if he wasn’t already a level above tipsy, he would be irritated over how he can’t seem to find a single flaw in this dumb, gorgeous boy. even his stupid name was catchy. sonny can’t lie, he’s surprised the moment he begins to explain himself, not expecting it at all. he figured he would sweep what happened under the rug and never once bring it up. he’s not expecting any kind of explanation at all, let alone an apology of any kind. this, admittedly, finally makes him turn back to look his way. sonny doesn’t say anything, letting him say what he needed to say, but by the time he’s done explaining, he’s nodding his head. “ahh.” is his original response, pursing his lips and trying to take it all in, as much as his hazy brain could take right now, anyway.
“so then it’s just the typical southern california i-don’t-do-relationships quip. i mean, it’s cali. i’d say a lot of people here have the same mindset, so you’re not alone.” when the words leave his lips, he realizes they sound a bit harsher than he intended, like he was putting landon in some kind of labeled box, and he didn’t want to do that, especially since he was being honest with him. “sorry. that was kind of harsh. i guess what i’m trying to say is i don’t know what kind of shit you’ve been through, who hurt you in the past, up to the point where you have these rules for yourself, but i mean,” he pauses to shrug, “it’s not like i was expecting us to pull a joel and ingrid and get married, have this huge ceremony or anything – which is like, super adorable of them, but that’s not the point. when i…” he trails off, trying to find the correct words, “when i asked you out, it’s because i wanted to get to know you. it doesn’t mean that we need to ride off into the sunset holding hands and swear by each other or anything. i just think you’re pretty and interesting and i just wanted to know more. we don’t have to make it deeper than that if you don’t want to.” and that was the straight up truth. even if sonny does crave a deeper connection, a real relationship and one day, to actually have something meaningful and monogamous, maybe even a ceremony as nice as the one joel and ingrid were having, he understood where landon was coming from. he didn’t know his reasoning behind it, but he got it.
there’s a part of him, unfortunately, that can’t help but feel like landon is saying this because of sonny’s appearance, his style and aura in general. he knew he wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. it could be a lot, his style wasn’t for everyone, and really, he doesn’t think landon and him could be more opposite. landon worked at a damn library, for crying out loud. he was literally wearing something beige and proper, practically looking like an angel, and sonny looked like he could be an extra in a my chemical romance music video. he literally tattooed people and served drinks, meanwhile landon liked reading books. sonny can’t remember the last time he sat down and read a book willingly. it was usually back in his school days. he figures this is landon’s nicer way of letting him down, with the excuse that he didn’t do relationships because it was easy, it was believable and real. the idea made him drink alongside him, until he was feeling even looser than before. at this point, he’s lost count of how many drinks he’s had, but he knew it was more than five for sure. he definitely had to call an uber when he was ready to leave because there was no way he was driving home. landon’s sudden accusation had him raising a brow, not sure where he was going with his speech, and he was evidently drunk, but really, so was he. he doesn’t go where sonny assumed he was going, which causes him to let out a drunken laugh. was he imagining this? were they both just really drunk and delusional? maybe, but him admitting this is making sonny grin. “you know, i kindaaaaa thought that you didn’t really like me like that. like,” he hiccups, the alcohol clearly getting to him, “you thought i was a weird looking alt guy. or too much, but now i have pretty eyes and silky hair and a perfect fucking smileeeee?” he draws out the last word, giggling like some kind of school girl who was being acknowledged by her crush for the first time. “i ammm charming and funny and attractive though.” now, he leans his elbow against the bar counter and rests his chin on it, grinning at him dreamily and locking eyes with him. for a moment, his gaze lingers to his lips, before meeting his eyes again. this time, he leans in closer, slightly shortening the distance between them, and in a tone lower than normal, one that basically mocks innocence but screams flirty and daring, he asks simply, “what’s not gonna happen?”
