𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐓𝐓, he/him, twenty6, librarian/aspiring author
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@covercdwithscars
𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐓𝐓, he/him, twenty6, librarian/aspiring author
: ̗̀➛ 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜 ⊹ 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 ⊹ 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑝𝑜 ⊹ 𝑣𝑖𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒 ⊹ 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑠
𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒅𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒔 is a dependent blog associated w/𝐆𝐎-𝐂𝐀𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐇𝐐 & loved by 𝒋𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒆.
i’m one strange text away from moving to a lighthouse
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sharpay was right: this is not what i want. this is not what i planned. and i just gotta say. i Do Not understand
2025 books - malibu rising by taylor jenkins reid
Just because it is in Malibu's nature to burn, so was it in one particular person's nature to set fire and walk away.
Evie let out a soft laugh at the “Miss,” shaking her head as she turned to start walking along the path, the wind catching her hair again like it had a personal vendetta. ❝ Just Evie is fine—Miss makes me feel I don't know.. old in a way? ❞ she said lightly, glancing over her shoulder at him and the very enthusiastic shadow at his feet, a gentle laugh. ❝ And I’m fine, seriously. I’ve survived worse than a bit of wind and a park that looks like it lost a fight. ❞ Her gaze dropped to the pup again as it darted between them, and her expression softened just a fraction more. She tilted her head toward the path ahead. ❝ C’mon then. ❞
"Sorry. I get that. It's kind of a habit I picked up at work. I definitely didn't mean anything by it. Not that you need me to tell you, because obviously you're young. I'll stick to just Evie though." Landon laughed and followed her way along the path, watching closely as the little pup scampered between them. "So did you just volunteer to help clean up on your own, or is this like an official thing where I need to sign a volunteer log or something? If it's the latter, I want to be sure you get credit for wrangling in strays." He glanced down at the little dog again. "Two of us, actually."
honestly, sonny offered whoever the hell was standing behind him a seat mostly to be polite, but he didn’t think he would be taken up on his offer, and he especially didn’t think the mystery person would be landon, of all fucking people. his voice was enough to do numbers on sonny, yet, nothing can prepare him for the moment he turns his way to acknowledge his presence, despite the voice in the back of his head telling him to ignore him. even in his drunken state, it really feels like being drenched with a bucket of cold water, like a slap to the damn face, all while the sudden pounding and heat in his chest becomes impossible to ignore. sonny is fully blaming it on the alcohol. he wants to look away and turn his attention back to his sketch, but it feels like he’s frozen in place. he almost feels winded with how beautiful he looks. sonny feels like the word beautiful is truly underplaying it too, he looks… ethereal. like he belongs in a museum, up to the point where sonny almost feels underdressed and stupid wearing what he’s wearing, looking how he looks, when people like landon are just walking around looking like that. his beige suit, his unbuttoned collar, revealing his sunkissed skin, his perfectly curly golden colored hair, styled in such an effortless way, sonny swears, it’s like he’s fucking glowing. then his eyes, glossy and the deepest shade of blue he’s ever seen – fuck.
it really feels like the universe is mocking him, throwing him some kind of bait to see how he’ll react, teasing him in a way that feels borderline cruel. he’s face to face with the same guy who pretty much turned him down. actually, it was worse than that. sonny would have preferred to be turned down, given a flat out i’m not interested or even a simple no without any further explanation would have sufficed for him. the way he dismissed him and went to go help out at the front, practically blowing him off, oddly enough felt like a heavier form of rejection for sonny. even the excuse of him having only been here for five years irritated him, because was he really so unworthy of receiving a definite answer from him? did he just really not want to talk to him? or was he just straight up embarrassed of even associating himself with him? he thought about the interaction for days, even the maybe i’ll see you around, and it just further frustrated him because he wasn’t like that. he wasn’t one to really dwell on anything for too long or really overcomplicate situations, no matter how negative it might have been, but he couldn’t deny that what happened bothered him more than it should have, which is why he didn’t show up again. he was pretty sure landon didn’t want him there, and really, who was he to show up at his job like that? sonny is so lost in his gaze, he doesn’t even notice the slightest, most subtle trembling of his left hand, which instantly causes him to clear his throat and set the sharpie down, running a hand past his hair and looking elsewhere as a weak attempt to try and mask what he was feeling. it was the alcohol that was making this all so much more heightened than it had to be, he was sure of it.
landon’s actions confused sonny, even the unsober version of himself. was he here to poke fun at him? to avoid boredom? or did he just really want to rub in the fact that he looked amazing tonight? it was so fucking unfair. sonny doesn’t answer his first sentence, instead picking up the sharpie again and adding numbers to the cellphone he had been sketching, not wanting to give him any real attention. he wants to desperately ignore him, maybe even pull a quick one on him and tell him that maybe he’ll see him around, but that he has to go help somewhere, and walk away and leave him sitting there, but pathetically enough, he finds himself shrugging when landon mentions not knowing that he draws. “yeah, sometimes.” he doesn’t bother to give him a backstory and tell him he’s been drawing since he was five, up to the point where he’s made it an actual career, or that he has an entire art room in his apartment dedicated to just that, whether it’s actual paintings or even pottery and sculpting, or even a dumb mention of both his instagrams, one where he posts tattoos he’s done and the other where he posts paintings, pottery designs and even small sculptures and does smaller commissions. his next comment, however, comes when he’s adding the final digit to the cellphone. he puts the cap on the sharpie and places it inside a pocket of his striped dress shorts, now turning his attention back to him, even though he knows he shouldn’t. unknowingly, sonny’s eyes are about as glossy as his are. “i didn’t think you wanted me there to try.” he replies back bluntly, the drunk side of him taking control and his intrusive thoughts being released. “did you have a change of heart now?” he subconsciously licks his lips, giggling in return. it doesn’t fully hit him, just how tipsy he really is, until he has to have a conversation now with someone else. “well… you know, it’s an open bar, so technically, we can get as many as we want.” as much as he doesn’t want to, a grin is tucking at the corner of his lips, sloppy and tipsy. “but i’ll let you get me one, sure, ifffff,” he draws out, the grin now turning into a full blown drunken smile, “you tell me your last name.” he shared his full legal name at the library before getting practically aired, so he felt like it was only fair that he knew landon’s as well. tomorrow he would hate himself for giving in so easily, but right now? it was a different story.
It wasn't that Landon didn't want to see Sonny again, or that he wanted to avoid him. It was a necessity. He had done so well since moving to Carroll to start fresh and focus on everything but romantic relationships. That wasn't to say he hadn't dabbled in a one night stand here and there, but even that was rare. When he did, he always made his expectations clear and present: no strings, no relationship. It was just safer that way, because he didn't have to deal with all of the emotions that came with ties, nor did he have to worry about losing someone else important to him. Genuinely, Landon was a romantic at heart. He'd never been the type of person that wanted to sleep around a lot or just for the hell of it. Once upon a time, he believed in the idea of soulmates. Maybe he still did, to an extent. He blamed all of the sappy romance stories that he had read most of his life. His favorites had happy endings, but he knew real life didn't always work that way. It likely wouldn't in his case, so he told himself not to even take a chance. Unfortunately for him, Sonny Jeong came strolling into the library and flipped all of that discipline and detachment upside down.
Landon wanted to explain himself, but he didn't think it would do much good. Maybe it would be better, actually, to entice Sonny to hate him. Then he wouldn't have to worry about fighting this tension and attraction he felt when they'd met, and even now. He could feel it buzzing in the air, like a warning sign to stay the fuck away. Instead of listening though, Landon joined him at the bar and attempted to strike up conversation as if nothing had happened between them at all. The smart thing to do would be to avoid, or push him away, but as he watched him with fondness, Landon was struggling to fight those instincts. He could and would blame it on the alcohol, even if deep down inside he knew it wasn't the culprit. Blue hues focused on Sonny's startling brown ones when they finally met, and he tried to tear his gaze away, but it only felt like he was being drawn in closer. "That's cool. I can't draw to save my life." Landon replied, as he once again glanced down at the napkins, appreciating the creativity of them. He was trying to keep the conversation light and not focus on the way he'd blown him off before, but even if the glassiness in his eyes hinted of his own tipsiness, Landon could sense that Sonny wasn't as open and carefree as he'd been the first time. He hated that, especially knowing it was his fault, and when Sonny pocketed the sharpie there was a dip in his stomach, fearful that he was about to leave. As much as he should go and Landon should want that too, he didn't. He was holding his breath, something Landon hadn't realized in his haze until it finally escaped when Sonny continued acknowledging him.
The bold response was warranted - deserved - and Landon's lips parted to answer before tightening into a thin line. Some part of him wanted to say yes, that he did have a change of heart. Or no, that he didn't because he'd wanted him there to begin with. The realist inside of him though told Landon to shut the fuck up and keep it all buried down deep. He struggled, searching for what to say, even though Sonny did manage to make him laugh softly when he pointed out that it was an open bar and he could get himself drinks as he pleased. That was true; it wasn't as if Landon was paying for this. He considered it an olive branch of sorts, for being kind of an asshole before. He didn't expect Sonny to give in so easily, if at all, but it brought a smile to his face when he did - at least if he was given Landon's name. "It's Landon. Just Landon. You know, like Madonna?" He teased, referencing their conversation from before. But Landon's smile softened, and he hazily met his eyes again before more softly admitting defeat. "Beckett. Landon Beckett." Before Sonny could protest, Landon turned toward the barkeeper and requested another drink, this time for Sonny. After placing the order he twisted back toward the beautiful raven-haired boy with a small smile, and tried to, in some way, explain his actions. "It's... complicated," Landon offered, still unsure exactly how deep to delve into all of these feelings he was battling.
"I'm sorry for how I was at the library. I swear I'm not usually an asshole. I just..." Landon sighed, his eyes casting down to the bar counter, finding a random scratch to focus on. Anything but those big, pretty, dark eyes that felt like they were sucking the soul out of him. Or about to make him take back everything. "I don't really do relationships. It's something I kind of swore off, and I just didn't want to lead you on. I guess I thought not saying no was gentler than being straight up, and that was wrong of me. I just - I can't do it. That stuff. It's hard to explain, but it's a rule I have for myself." Landon ran a hand through his curls, making them a little wilder than they already were, but just in time for their drinks to arrive, which would hopefully put him more at ease. Like an instant injection, a few sips in and he was feeling freeing again - maybe a little too much. Was this his seventh now? Maybe. He had no idea. But it was making his resistance to Sonny even more difficult, and also messing with his filter. "But then you had to come waltzing in!" His voice was a higher lilt, tipsy and playfully accusatory, and he laughed bitterly. "With your pretty eyes and silky hair and perfect fucking smile and messed it alllllllll up." He wasn't mad - not really. Not at at Sonny, anyway. More so at himself, for not allowing himself to have the things he wanted. Or maybe the universe for making him feel undeserved of them. But he was trying to be smart and practical. "Like just because you're charming and funny and attractive I should just bend my rules for you. And I can't. I'm sorry, it's just... not gonna happen." It couldn't.
"And it's free, why not?" Ash shrugged with a grin, taking a second to order a freshy made glass for the librarian, glad to see him out and about enjoying the party too. "Y'know... just not being paid enough anymore," letting out a joking sigh before chuckling, "no I did not just magically have bartending skills, I'm just helping push these out while they focus on making them." Espresso Martini Station isn't exactly a bar, more like a factory churning these drinks out for everyone to make sure it meets the demands. "Most of my talents unfortunately only stay on the ice." Some call him boring for the one dimensional talents but Ashton was always more of a depth over breadth kinda guy. "Just helping a friend out so she can enjoy a dance or two with her boyfriend. You? Got any dancing shoes on already?"
"Even better reason, actually. No way I can argue with that." Landon laughed, because although he didn't know exactly how much professional athletes made, he had no concerns that Ashton was on trying times. "Oh yeah, I've heard that hockey just isn't popular anymore. Do you have to pay people to come watch?" He cracked into a grin before laughing again so that Ashton hopefully realized he was just bantering back. "I doubt that's true! I'm sure you have many other talents. Maybe some you never really thought about. And that's kind of you to help out. I'm sure she appreciates it." The question that followed had Landon shaking his head immediately. "Oh no, no way. I'd have to drink this entire bar to get out there. How about you though? Do you need someone to cover here so you can get some dancing in too?"
Even though he was feeling a little better now that he was seeing Landon, Ocean still had that feeling of being overwhelmed by the party. This was definitely not the kind of thing he was used to. So when Landon asked him if he was having a good time, Ocean didn't want to lie to him. Sighing, he answered, "No, not really," offering the man a little smile. "I'm trying, but...I'm not really a party guy." He looked back toward the house, wishing that was the sort of environment he fit into, but it just wasn't. "I used to like the parties back home, but they were a lot different there." Remembering how it had gone with that woman he'd encountered out here when he'd tried to explain this, Ocean quickly clarified, "I'm not saying they were better, just...more laid back. I didn't feel like I was being scrutinized as much." Even saying that felt rude though, and Ocean sighed again, shaking his head. "I'm trying to relax though," he told Landon. "But I feel like I forgot how to do that."
Not wanting to be such a downer, Ocean looked over at Landon after he sat down, managing to smile. He was past the point where he could deny his little crush, but Ocean knew nothing would come of it. Why would Landon ever want a loser? the voice whispered, but Ocean tried to ignore it even though it was right. "Are you here with a date?" Ocean asked, thinking that seemed nonchalant in his head but cringing at the way it came out of his mouth. "I'm here solo, well kind of. I was hanging with a friend earlier, but I...I feel like I just keep being a downer. I wanted to give him a break while we were still friends."
"I get it. I'm not real big on parties either. At least not really loud ones. Maybe if I was drunk or something, but I don't do that too much these days. I get that. I prefer them more chill too. Less people and less expectations. But who was scrutinizing you?" He asked, a little annoyed to hear that anyone would make him feel less than he was. Landon tried not to judge people, not really. Even though he was sure many of them thought he was kind of an asshole when he had a tendency to be more quiet than outgoing. "My kind of relaxing is reading or watching tv. Maybe playing a video game." He chimed in. "So yeah, not super easy to relax either. But the drink helped."
Landon leaned back against the bench, letting the muffled music lull him into a more calming mode. At least it wasn't blaring out here. "Nope, came solo too. I don't really do the dating things" he admitted with a small shrug. He didn't bother elaborating, or explaining that being independent kept him from having his heart broken, or losing the person altogether. He hoped his voice sounded less jaded than it did in his mind. "I doubt you're being a downer. Besides, if they're really your friend, they aren't gonna care," Landon assured. "Is it just being here in this environment, or is something else bothering you?" He asked with genuine concern. "You don't have to talk about it or anything, but I'm a pretty good listener. Not to brag."
asher actually took a second to think before he launched into it, because he couldn’t help himself when it came to music. “it’s a mix of things,” he said, counting it off like it was a checklist. “how good they are live—like, can they actually read a room and build energy instead of just pressing play. the music they produce, because most top djs are producers first. and then, yeah, the big kicker is the industry side.” he lifted his brows. “do they have a real fanbase? are they headlining? do people show up for them?”
he glanced toward the stage again, visibly excited. “martin’s up there with, like, calvin harris, who is probably the most widely known to the geenral population because he dated taylor swift,” asher added, as if that was an unfortunate but true footnote. “and david guetta, obviously.” asher paused, lips pursed like he was trying to rank them in his head and couldn’t. “honestly, comparing them is weird because they’re different lanes.” then his grin returned. “but i’m pretty sure i’ve played you some of their tracks before and just didn’t tell you who it was.” he pointed at landon. “i bet you’ll recognize something tonight and have that ‘wait… i know this’ moment.”
then he brightened again, switching gears without warning, because asher’s attention span was a playlist. “come on—everyone can dance,” he insisted, holding up a blue bracelet and offering it to landon like it was a golden ticket. “it’s not until, like, nine thirty or whatever. you’ll have plenty of time to psych yourself up.” his grin turned mischievous. “and possibly enough drinks by then to stop overthinking it.” he wiggled the bracelet in front of him. “do it. do it.”
Landon obviously appreciated the arts, and music was included in that, but when it came to knowing much about it, or artists (especially anything newly relevant) he was kind of lost. Thank god for Asher, who at least brought him some sort of normalcy in that realm. He definitely wouldn't be able to name anything off, but he was right - there would likely be some music that he at least recognized.
He was impressed by the long list Asher supplied without even second thought. Just further proof that he was a natural when it came to his passion for music. "I'm so lame. I never even thought about any of that stuff," Landon admitted with a bright laugh, proud of just how knowledgeable and professional his buddy was in his realm. He supposed maybe music and books weren't too far off from one another. "You're probably right! I can't guarantee I'll remember the words, but probably the beat to some of them. I really should get you to make me a playlist sometime and I can pretend I'm reasonably in the loop. I swear you're like Einstein with this stuff."
A playful groan befell Landon, and his shoulders immediately slouched in defeat. "Okay, maybe I can dance - a little. Doesn't mean I'm going to though. Probably a lot of those people want to you know, meet someone. I'm not gonna put myself out there like that when we both know I'm not gonna bite." Relationships were a no-go for Landon these days. Why would he want to give false hope to anyone? Not that he was some grand catch or anything, but still. He already felt bad still about what had happened to Sonny a couple of weeks back at the library, even if it was his own fault. "Not even if you paid me, man."
the laughter he managed to evoke from the other was enough to make his entire day. he was just as pretty laughing as he was smiling. even the dry look he had given him a few moments back was breathtaking. he could probably curse at him and sonny would be all for it. he was so beautiful, it was truly a mesmerizing sight. “yeah! you know, i’ve been told i’d be a fantastic public speaker if i dressed and presented as normal. women love me, and the feeling is mutual. it’s like they’re all…” he trails off, trying to find the correct words, “my favorite cousins, some even closer to sisters i never had but always wanted.” that was very much true. his art history professor back in college ( before he dropped out of course ) told him he’d be a great public speaker, but also threw in a jab over his appearance being too off putting to ever achieve such a thing – an insult wrapped around a half assed compliment. not that sonny cared exactly, not then, and certainly not now. he was an art history professor. sonny doubted he was truly content with his life anyway. people who were truly happy didn’t say shit like that to other people, especially to students.
when it came to women, he doesn’t think he’s ever come across one that disliked him, at least openly. they felt comfortable around him, but then again, sonny felt like that was a recurring theme with women and gay men, so it wasn’t exactly surprising. he figured he had told landon what his deal was, without saying the words at all. he doubts any straight man would view all women as favorite cousins or sisters. at landon's following words, the raven haired male has to hold back a smirk. “if you catch me?” sonny asks, raising a thick brow, before nodding his head, his dark eyes gazing into his crystal hues. “so then does that mean that you would be actively looking for me?” he had a feeling that wasn’t what landon meant, but he couldn’t help but throw the bait and see what the other would say. sonny wanted to make him blush again, fluster him a bit because he looked so, so damn attractive with reddened cheeks, sonny only wanted more. for a moment, he even wondered what landon was like outside of these walls. what he did in his free time, his hobbies, his interests, his hopes and dreams, his favorite food and stuff he hated enough to make him gag, literally everything. sonny was so intrigued by him, he wanted to get to know him, the good and the bad.
for the first time, the idea of flirting and flirting for a quick fuck seemed unappealing. it was usually how his encounters went down. meaningless flirting followed by an even more meaningless hook up, but truthfully, he'd never met someone who held his interest this way, especially in a setting like this. he was a bartender after all. a lot of the people he's met were from the club, or even other parties he attended. this felt a lot more real. there wasn't any loud music, no flashing lights or people dancing impossibly close, no recreational drug use right around the corner. he didn't have to lean into the other's ear so he could hear him through the loud speakers, and he certainly didn't have to nod his head and pretend he heard what he said despite not hearing shit. they were actually… present. no blasting tunes, no distractions, just a raw conversation. sonny enjoyed it. he wondered if landon would be interested in hanging out outside of his job and talk more. he felt like if he tried hard enough, maybe he'd peak landon's interest up to the point where he was willing to at least get a coffee with him. sonny isn't really cocky, but he feels he's social enough up to the point where that might sound appealing to the other. conversations have always flown naturally for him, even with people who had rather difficult and more closed off personalities. it was easy for him to make friends anywhere he went.
sonny chuckled softly at his response, licking his lips and shaking his head. he could easily dive into the teasing, the back and forth. if anything, that fueled him. “no, not quite. i just meant sonny isn’t a nickname or abbreviation for anything, it’s just sonny. my surname is jeong, if that’s what you were curious about.” he was tempted to ask him what his was, continue making conversation when he ( probably ) had to get back to work, but the more landon keeps talking, the easier it feels to get to the point he really wanted to get to, the entire reason why he kept showing up here and hiding behind a book like a damn idiot, which was building up the courage to actually talk to this guy. little did landon know, he had beat him to it. for now however, he would budge, though admittedly, the question about what his favorite book from the percy jackson series is caught him off guard, though he should have expected that. “the first one.” which, he can’t for the life of him remember the name of. something about thunder? the ocean? he could only hope he didn’t pry any further, because then he might actually realize he never read any of the books and was full of shit. he was so lost in that soft gaze of his, that sonny had to force himself out of whatever trance this man had him under to really grasp what he was saying. he tries to resist, but sonny can’t help the shit eating smirk that makes it’s way onto his lips when he catches the way he blushes at the words sexual situations. he doesn’t think he could get any more attractive, but somehow, landon manages to prove him wrong.
he chews on his bottom lip so hard, he’s surprised he didn’t draw blood. “you mean smut?” admittedly, he’s never really read smut, or read much at all unless it was school related, but he was fully aware of that erotica genre when it came to books. he had way too many female friends, especially back in south korea, who adored that type of genre. the word fae-related deeply confused him though. maybe he meant fated? he would have to google what fae-related even meant later, but he assumes it’s some kind of mythical creature. at the mention of betty, he finally circles back to what he’s been wanting to ask the other since the moment he saw him. “i’m sure betty is super knowledgeable, but i think there might be something else you can help me with. actually, i have a confession to make, and that is that you’re right.” he pauses for dramatic effect, running a hand past his jet black hair. “you’re so, so right when you said i have a lot to learn about this town. i actually realized the other day that i really don’t know anything about this place at all! totally lost, so clueless, and not in the cool, cher horowitz kind of way. more so in the damn, he’s kind of pathetic kind of way.” that wasn’t exactly true, but it also wasn’t a full on lie. he was lost when it came to some things here in caroll, but he was certainly fully aware of others as well. “i was thinking since i’ve only been here a year, and since i clearly don’t know much about the town, maybe we can go out sometime and you can tell me all about it, teach me all the ways, the history, enlighten me on some other color coded book stickers you guys have going on here, all the fun stuff. we can go get some coffee, or some food, or…” he trails off, shrugging a bit shyly, which is rare for sonny, “we can do whatever you want, really.” and he truly meant that. he knew it was forward, but his grandfather always told him that if you never try, you’ll never know, and despite all the insecurities his family has given him throughout the years, he can’t say the old man didn’t have wise sayings.
Landon caught Sonny's words and he filed them away; maybe they did have something in common after all. Considering he couldn't think anyone except maybe a gay man that would make some kind of comment like that about all women. He didn't question it aloud, but considered it something interesting in the little mind file he was beginning to accumulate about this guy. Which, he shouldn't be doing at all! It shouldn't even exist. And yet, Landon found himself more intrigued than he should allow himself to be. "But who really wants to listen to a speech given by someone in a starched, boring suit? Personally I feel more people would be inclined to listen to someone that stands out." Landon wasn't the greatest at compliments; mostly because he didn't give them too often. Not in a rude, harsh way, it was just... sometimes those lead into dangerous territory. Which was exactly what he was trying to avoid. Sonny's style might have been different than the norm, but that wasn't a bad thing. In fact, it showed his eclecticism, and as a creative type, Landon thought he should continue embracing it. Besides, he didn't know a guy that could pull off eyeliner better Sonny he could.
The remark was meant to be more intimidating that it came out, which Landon realized when Sonny took it as a playful, maybe even flirty one. He really didn't need this guy coming in here wasting his time and stealing his attention from serious patrons, but even he couldn't completely hide the smallest hint of a smile that tugged at the upper corner of his lip. Damn it. Or the light flush that returned to his cheeks. He really should just go hide now until this guy was out of his hair. That would have been the smart, logical thing to do. Landon rolled his eyes playfully and searched for a response. Back before everything changed, when his mom was still around, he would have eaten something like that up. Especially from someone as stunning as Sonny. But that wasn't him anymore. He didn't have the capacity to take on anything that might crumble the last remaining pieces of his heart. It scared the hell out of him. Finally, he managed a soft, almost shy, "Not what I was saying." There. Simple and succinct. He'd totally get the picture, right?
He felt Sonny had caught him digging, by trying to figure out his surname name. It was just one of those things he liked to know about people - to put a full name to a face. Sure. That's what he told himself, at least. He liked getting to know the patrons and asking about their life; showing interest. There were many, especially some of the older ones that came in specifically as their social hour. He'd heard so many stories about grandchildren and gossip he could write an entire book about it alone. And then there were the ones that were always trying to set him up with their nephew or grandson or son - and occasionally, daughter. He politely declined each time, figuring it wasn't really worth it to divulge his sexuality when he wasn't going to take them on the offer, but some of them were pretty relentless. Sonny Jeong. It had a nice ring to it, and a name he wouldn't soon forget. Even if he really should. "Good to know. So if I ever see a hold come in for you or something, I can judge what you're reading. Especially if it's something off the wall again." That covered his tracks, absolutely. Sonny definitely wouldn't hone in on it at all. And since he didn't ask, Landon decided to leave his surname off the table for now. He didn't mind staying a little mysterious.
The chuckles and laughs from him though were quite nice to Landon's ears; much lovelier than he wanted to let on or sit there and think about. They were also such a surprise, considering his dress. Once again, it wasn't so much in a judgmental way, he just hadn't expected him to be so delightful and lighthearted. Not while dressed in all black and dark eyeliner. Since Sonny hadn't made much presence at the library that he'd noticed, Landon decided to quiz him a little by asking which of the Percy Jackson series was his favorite. The answer absolutely gave away what Landon had assumed - he definitely had not read all of them. He didn't know anyone in their right mind that considered the first the best in the series. In fact, it was usually one of the least favorites. Instead of bringing it up though, he tucked it away for now, until he might be given reason to call Sonny out. After all, the guy wasn't rude or annoying... not really. His humor was surprisingly welcome. But Landon took his job a little too seriously and didn't have time to spend all day recommended things he knew would never actually be read.
Landon wasn't sure why he felt compelled to mention the smut in some books, but considering there were many teenagers that hovered in the young adult section, it was just a habit of warning. He of course wouldn't control what someone else read, but he'd also had a few unruly parents come in disgruntled about their teens reading about faerie lore and love. Sonny, he assumed, was around the same age as he, and could handle it, but it just kind of slipped out before he caught himself. That only fueled the fire burning in his fucking cheeks. Landon glanced away for a moment, pretending to survey more titles on the shelves, though really he was trying to avoid facing Sonny when he was blushing so much. But then he caught dark brown eyes - they were alluring and big and sucked him right in. Landon swallowed and cleared his throat, then nodded - very much not the professional librarian he was supposed to be. "Yes. Smut. I... sorry. I am just used to giving that warning. Some parents aren't too keen on the faerie stuff when it gets like that. Or really any of these books, I guess."
Blue eyes held his gaze before dipping to his mouth. He blamed Sonny for biting on his lip like that - obviously he was trying not to laugh at him, but it stole his attention. He thought that maybe bringing up someone else to help could give him a chance to catch his breath; to let his flushed face calm down or something. Or think straight. But no, Sonny didn't take the bait. Was this guy just here to yank his chain? Was this some kind of dare, or something? He wondered. "She is." He chimed in. "Betty is incredibly knowledgeable. I've learned a lot from her if you want to go talk—" but Landon paused his yammering as it was confessed that Sonny wanted something from him. Or at least, help from him. So maybe they were finally getting down to whatever business he'd shown up for. After all, Landon was skeptical since that upside down pregnancy book that he actually had any interest in reading or learning. He was becoming a little frustrated, having wasted a good half hour or so helping one patron, but he'd allow him to finish his spiel. Despite growing annoyed now, Landon hated that Sonny still had his full attention, as his gaze watched long fingers fly through dark, silky hair and he wondered how soft it was.
Being right was something Landon liked to hear, so his interest was still on high. However, as Sonny launched into his real intention, his stomach began to drop. It wasn't that he hated the idea of doing any of that with him. Honestly, it sounded nice. Sure he had friends he hung out with occasionally, but when it came to someone he was attracted to, he usually tried to distance himself because it wasn't worth the heartbreak. One or both of them would leave or get hurt and he just didn't have the emotional stability for it. He'd already lost the most important person in his life. He couldn't put his heart out there only to have it ripped away again. "Oh. Well I um - I'm sure you're not clueless. Everyone here is really welcoming, and I am sure there are people that know a lot more about it here than me. I only moved here five years ago, so I'm probably not your best bet either." He didn't want to be rude and seem like he was blowing him off for no reason, but what was he supposed to say? 'I find you attractive and kind of quirky adorable and funny but I can't let myself be around that because I might fall for you, so sorry you have to stay away instead?' Of course not. He'd sound ridiculous. So instead he kept that inside.
Noticing there was a large line building up at the reference desk for questions, Landon used that as his excuse to escape. It saddened him a little as he took one last glance at the guy; captivated by those eyes of his and those lips and... "I'm sorry, I have to go help them but uh, it was nice meeting you, Sonny. Maybe I'll see you around." He offered a firm nod, his eyes lingering a little longer before making his way back to the desk to help out. He was afraid to turn back, because it might make it that much harder for him to turn him down again if there was evident disappointment.
ILYA ROZANOV - HEATED RIVALRY 1X02
closed starter for @covercdwithscars he usually thrived at events like these. social interactions always came very easily to sonny, but now, for some reason, he was sitting by the espresso martini station, cornered by himself, a few drinks in and doodling on a fancy napkin, completely avoiding any kind of social interaction. this was his third sketch, doodling a half assed early 2000's phone, the screen reading 'do you miss me?'. beside that, he wrote 'please miss me'. it was mostly a hidden message to his grandparents. sonny knew they did miss him, but he was painfully aware that they only missed the version of himself that doesn't exist. the proper scholar kid who was on his way to become a neurosurgeon. sonny wonders if they would ever accept who he actually was if they knew the real him, though he doubts that a universe where that was a possibility even existed. maybe it was just the alcohol getting to him, but this was sloppy work. then again, there isn't much intricacy that can be put into a fragile napkin, so there was that. there's also the fact that he's not exactly sober right now while doing these. there's a crappy malboro cigarette pack, and even another napkin with a mixtape that read 'library'. truthfully, he had done that subconsciously. it was in the back of his mind, the thought of showing up there again, but he hasn't. not since he was pretty much blown off the way he was. he's about to start adding the digits to the keypad on the cellphone, but he can clearly feel someone standing behind him. there's a lot of people at this event and maybe he is just being paranoid, but he can sense that someone is there, which causes him to pause what he was doing, his finetip black sharpie coming to a halt. "you know, i can feel you standing behind me." he says, without turning around to even check who it was, dark eyes not moving from the napkin in front of him as he adds another detail. "you can come sit if you want. i'm not gonna shiv you or anything." not that he wanted any company right now at all, but he wasn't rude, just uninterested.
The event itself was beautiful, and a lovely occasion to gather for. Landon had nothing at all against weddings, but he wasn't exactly a social butterfly, or someone that really fit in at these kinds of things. He'd had some good food, chatted with some familiar friends and faces, but he was far from the life of the party. The celebrities and djs were mostly ones that went over his head; he couldn't really tell them apart from the rest of the crowd. His own fault for not staying in the loop, he supposed. Then the dancing started up, and Landon found himself fleeing just about anywhere to get away from it. He'd already anticipated being pressured to join in the fun or sway to the music, but he had two left feet. Or at least that's what he told people. Truthfully he'd never really danced enough in his life to know either way. But he wasn't about to find out tonight. No matter how many espresso martinis he consumed. Which, at this point, had at least been a few. Landon had told himself to limit to one or two max because he was a lightweight that didn't have much tolerance for alcohol. And yet, now he was returning for a fourth (or was it fifth?), and starting to feel the effects more than he wanted to admit to.
He was waiting his turn for another drink, and not trying to getting into the guy's business - the one that was at the bar and drawing on cocktail napkins, but he blamed his inebriation for his curiosity. Landon glanced at his outfit from behind, and although it wasn't exactly formal in the traditional regard, he liked it. He stood out, but in a good way. And then he recognized that silky black hair he'd wanted to touch, and his voice. Fuck. It was Sonny. He'd yet to see him since blowing off his idea to spend some time together, and thought maybe he was in the clear. After that, Landon had yet to see him return to the library, which at first made him a little relieved, but after a few days had passed he found himself wondering where he'd gone - if he'd come back. He found himself wanting to see him. Which was the whole reason he'd blown him off in the first place. That intrigue and desire. It was too dangerous. He couldn't get too attached or interested. Now though, he couldn't exactly get himself out of this unless he turned and walked away and didn't look back. However, maybe it was the alcohol making him feel a little braver and less rigid, or the fact that he kind of missed seeing him show at the library, but Landon carefully settled into the seat beside him and offered a soft smile.
"Thank you for not stabbing me. Are you going to draw all over my face with that sharpie instead? I'm sure I probably deserve it." Landon attempted to greet, his eyes a little soft, and definitely drunkenly glassy as they met Sonny's dark ones, lined in a beautifully messy manner. His gaze lingered longer than necessary, dipping to his soft looking lips before drifting to the napkins; the library one especially tugging at his heartstrings. Was that because of him? "These are pretty cool. I didn't know you drew," Landon tried, his voice soft and also kind of slurring a bit. He pointed toward the library mixed tape one. "Haven't seen you lately. Did you give up on pretending to read?" It was an effort at a lighthearted joke, one he thought Sonny might not buy. "Have you tried the espresso martinis? They're soooo good," he drawled, realizing a little tipsy giggle slipped out. "Want me to get you one?"
Closed starter: Logan ( @covercdwithscars ) Location: the wedding reception, outside
Even though the party was taking place inside, Ocean found that he was spending a lot of time outside. It was all just...a lot. Despite having lived here for six months now, he still didn't know a lot of people, and even if he did, Ocean wasn't exactly good at talking to them. You're not good at anything, the voice whispered, but Ocean shut it out, which was actually a little easier to do out here alone vs inside with everyone else. It wasn't easy, but it was easier. That voice was always there whispering terrible things to him, and Ocean tried not to listen, though that seemed impossible most of the time.
So yeah...Ocean needed some air. He was sitting on a bench out in the gardens just trying to recharge his social battery, which already didn't last long anymore. But that was when he saw someone else outside, someone he knew, and Ocean was surprised to realize he was smiling. "Hi Landon," Ocean greeted the man, waving to him. Ocean was even more surprised to find that he hoped Landon would sit with him for a minute. "Are you enjoying the party?" Ocean asked, trying to keep his voice steady even though his heart was hammering away in his chest.
Weddings and parties and all of those things could be fun. Sometimes Landon would give in, every once in a while, and allow himself to have a good time. While the wedding and reception had been beautiful and lovely, he found after a while that he needed a little bit of solitude. Or at least a few moments of peace between the dj and the dancing and everything else that was a little overwhelming and completely out of his realm. When he really thought about it, it made perfect sense that he worked at the library. Not only because of his love and knowledge of books, but it was also, most of the time, a serene place to be.
The singles dance was about to go down, so Landon had very quietly and conveniently excused himself so that no one tried to pressure him into participating. He'd chosen to take a seat on one of the benches, watching some of the fireflies that flitted by. The greeting broke Landon from his gaze, and he was relieved to see a familiar face, and one he knew wouldn't be trying to get him inside to embarrass himself on the dance floor or anything. "Ocean! Hey," he returned, warmly, flashing him an inviting smile. "I am. It's been really great. It's so fancy here. And the espresso martinis are really good." So far he'd only allowed himself one, in an effort to stay sober enough. "Just needed a little break. How about you? Are you having a good time?"
where: reception time!! who: open to whoever!!
“dj martin garrix? no way.” asher looked down at the itinerary in his hand like it might be lying to him, then snapped his head back up, eyes bright with genuine, almost boyish excitement. “this is going to be awesome,” he said, voice pitching higher on the last word because he couldn’t help it. “that dude is one of the top djs in the world.” he scanned the page again, thumb tapping the paper like he was already hearing the set in his head. “like… the production alone is going to be insane.”
his eyes kept moving down the schedule, mouth twitching with a grin until he hit a certain line. he paused, looked up at them slowly, and lifted his brows. “are you going to do this singles dance?”
Landon's eyes gazed over Asher's shoulder to look at the list, though admittedly, most of the names blurred together for him. He wasn't exactly one that paid much attention to celebrities, or current music, or much pop culture outside of books and maybe Jeopardy. Very much the opposite of Asher. What little he did know was only because of instances like this; he had Asher to thank for a lot of the things he was clueless to. "I didn't even know there was such thing as rankings for djs. What is that based off of?" Authors he knew because of the obvious facts: reviews and book sales. But how was a dj judged?
Blue eyes widened, and immediately Landon shook his head at the question. "Dude, no way. I don't think you could pay me to go out there and dance. I'd have to have a lot of drinks in my system. I'd rather not embarrass myself anymore than I probably already will," he explained with a little laugh. "You can dance enough for the both of us, right?"
//open. int. espresso martini station - night.
As he had already promised, he would stay late, he would dance with his friends, he would send them safely home, and he would help Emily out whenever she needed a break to go have some fun. Honestly, she's probably know how to have more fun than he did anyways, he was put to better use as helping hands to keep the bride and groom enjoying themselves too. They certainly had proper bartenders doing the drinks, so Ashton simply situated himself to help get them out once they were done. "Espresso Martini? We got a non-alcoholic option too." Ash pushed up his jacket sleeves so they didn't get wet as he greeted the next person coming up to the bar, "I've tried the latter only but know they're equally delicious."
Landon didn't drink too often, but it was a wedding, and the espresso martinis were calling his name. One or two wouldn't hurt. He probably should have chosen the non-alcoholic version that was recommended, but it had been a while since he'd indulged. "Yes, please," Landon answered politely, tapping his chin as if mulling it over. Even though his mind was already made up. "I'll go with the liquor. Might as well. It is a celebration after all." He offered Ashton a warm smile, curious how he had gotten roped into managing the bar. "So is this your first bartending gig, or is this a secret talent of yours when you aren't on the ice?" Landon mused as he leaned against the bar and awaited his drink. People were already trying to get him onto the dance floor, and he certainly wouldn't venture there sober. If at all.