OneMoreDraft: Fixing Poe’s Story in The Last Jedi.
This is a new series of articles and videos following a creative writing excercise with one central idea: how could divisive, disappointing, or frustrating films be reworked to overcome their falws with “one more draft?”
Unlike with a “Page 1 Rewrite,” the goal here is to preserve the overall strengths and objectives of the original creator, even if I disagree with them. All I want to do is refine, polish, finesse, or in some cases, cut out issues in a film’s script.
So, we’re starting with Star Wars: The Last Jedi, written and directed by Rian Johnson. The first video reviews the general strengths and weaknesses of the film, as well as the first OneMoreDraft take on a character’s arc, with that of Poe Dameron.
In summary, the strengths and weaknesses of the film break down like this:
+ Strong Directing Skills from Rian Johnson
- The Sequel Trilogy leads, Rey and Finn, are pushe out of center-stage and weakly written, losing screentime and focus
- Characterization for most of the cast is in desperate need of help!
- There are some accidentally racist and sexist elements to the film, even as it tries to reject them, leading to some bad writing.
So, part one of the series can be summarized like this:
To fix Poe but keep Johnson’s goals, simply cut out most of his story and scenes, and truncate the entire arc around the first battle, splitting off Holdo into new territory.
Look, I love Oscar Isaac. His charisma and capability made Poe go from an expendable character to a major supporting feature in TFA. And I get *what* Johnson is trying to illustrate with his stroy, even if I don’t think he’s the best character for it and that he could be better used in some other way. Likewise, I see the intention behind Holdo... but I can also see how the film accidentally ends up making her seem massively incompetnt when he rpurpose is supoosed to be as a successful leader for a feminst message.
And ultimately, here’s the cold hard truth: the script can’t afford to spend time dragging out a suporting character’s arc in a story as packed as this, especially when the script is reduced to convulsions to try and make itself work, whether it’s in downplaying the human cost of Poe and Holdo’s mistakes, writing Holdo schizophrenically to maintain the surprise at the end, or simply having no logic to its central premise of the Space Chase and the ending wth the Hyperspace Ram.
- Center most of the arc for Poe and his confornation with Holdo to the battle against the Dreadnaught: She has him thrown in the brig for getting her bombers killed while disobeying a direct order from Leia, chewing him out and getting his lesson done here in a quick and professional manner.
- Have Poe emerge from the brig more circumspect and respectful when released by Holdo later, perhaps even recognizing that command is a to way street from Holdo’s example.
- The Space Chase takes place within mutliple Hyperspace jumps: visually exciting vistas and increasing desperation as the fuel runs out with each jump replaces the nonsensical tactics and stupidity of the film’s version.
-Holdo shown to be a practical commander: she’s the one who sent Finn and Rose on their mission, and is trying to disperse segments of the Resistance fleet throughout the Chase. There is no schizophrenic writing on her, and no empty conflict with Poe.
-Holdo’s Hyperspace Ram occurs because of her taking adavantage of something Rose has done to the Supremacy: instea of breaking Star Wars’ rules on space combat and beg the question why she wasn’t doing this earlier, Holdo is joining her efforts with Rose to cause this damage.
Overall, Poe’s plotline ends up being the most superflous in terms of time wasted for the audience in TLJ. Cleaning it up as I have above should cut down on wasted time, while still accomplishing the film’s goals of deconstrcuting the hot-shot pilot and sending a feminist message.
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