Belated Birthday
The Orville is one of my favorite TV shows. This Seth MacFarlane creation blends Star-Trek-esque science fiction with borderline juvenile humor to address contemporary social issues. The recently aired Season 2 Episode 12 centered around the theme of gender equality and justice. The males of an alien race called the Moclans traditionally view females as inferior to the point that it is illegal to be female, and female babies undergo a gender reassignment operation resulting in a virtually all-male planet. A some number oppose this tradition, and set up a covert network to transport families with female babies to a hidden colony on another planet. The planet is discovered, and their leader travels to the planetary union headquarters to petition for status as an independent society. Along the way, she learns about Earth’s trove of female artists, and finds a song that gives voice to their struggle: Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5″.
Textbook Seth MacFarlane.
At the end of the episode, when things don’t turn out as well as she hoped but better than expected, she asks, “Do you think Dolly Parton would be proud of us?” And suddenly I find myself weeping. Never in million years would I have imagined The Orville to be a grief trigger. And that’s the thing with grief: everything can be a trigger.
Yesterday, April 11th, was Jennifer’s birthday. She would’ve been 47. Yesterday I wasn’t overwhelmed with emotion. Yesterday I saw family and friends post pictures and memories honoring the day she came into this world and I wasn’t overwhelmed with emotion. Yesterday I did what I usually do on Thursdays: exercise, write my talk for Sunday, had a session with my personal enneagram coach (yes, that’s a thing). Yesterday I was also floating above any obvious grief in a haze of happiness for Joy. She made a decision on where she would attend college and officially accepted (more on that at another time). I was overjoyed. And proud. I’m always proud of her, but yesterday my parental pride was off the charts for her reaching this milestone.
Today, an alien on a TV show asking if Dolly Parton would be proud took me into my grief. Another birthday and another milestone without her. And after the tears, I smile. Of course Jennifer would’ve been proud of her too. And I’d like to think that if she knew us, Dolly Parton would be proud as well.
Happy Birthday Jennifer.
[Pic taken April 11, 2014]