shitposts

Previously known as pussyenhiliator but I figured I should probs match my other accounts

[shitpostingkats]

I hope whoever wrote the line "Look at you taking charge. I like it." got a massive raise for that stroke of genius.

[shitpostingkats]

It's a gayass line. It's about the fact that Zack has just spent the last year on his own, keeping himself and Cloud alive with no allies, and is tired. It's a direct contrast to him fighting Genesis and asking "Why is everyone always pushing things on me?". It's about the fact that literally one scene ago Zack was screaming about how he was tired of his life being decided for him with no chance of escape. But he trusts Cloud to make the calls. It's about the fact that the Cloud in front of Zack is so different from the last time they saw each other, but he still loves him. He loves the man Cloud became regardless of how much he's changed. The natural endpoint of their relationship was always that Zack Fair desperately wanted an equal. also he yearns for his blonde twink boybestfriend to tell him what to do.

[monoblue000-deactivated20260214]

SOMEBODY ! ! Help them out ! !

[violetinkclouds]

Cloud: You? Gongaga.

Zack: <3!

 

[rocketbirdie]

https://www.tumblr.com/higuraiisart/173375575972/zack-fair-would-absolutely-squat-with-a-friend-in?source=share

Post by @higuraiisart · 1 image

💬 1  🔁 494  ❤️ 1203 · Zack Fair would absolutely squat with a friend in his arms and you know it.

alskdhshg kunsel in the background keeping records

[junkyardshrub]

okay. SO. I was asked for zakkura fix recs and it's easier for me to screenshot and some of these look like they haven't been read bc of the link color but it's because I read them without being logged in and I had to find them, and others are some that I want to read but haven't yet I'll clarify which ones and yes my ao3 is pink now LET'S GO BITCHES

this right here is like the iconic zakkura fic, it grabs you by the soul and gets the character absolutely perfectly imo and decides to throw you from wall to wall in the feels 10/10 I know most of the tags are sex related and the sex is great but it's not all smut folks it's fucking gut wrenching and really cool in its execution and somehow even the smut is still emotional and hits you in the feels like wtf how? anyway good read

now! if parched rivers run isn't up your alley in Zack fair lives au mayhaps bc of the sex tags, this one is equally amazing and wonderful and splendiferous in its own way absolutely phenomenal it had me making fanart at a goddamn church retreat and it has the same premise as the one above in its own unique way that makes me scream and I read this on a flip phone my thumbs were hurting so much rough times man it was worth it absolute banger of a fic

I love this one so goddamn much it's as good as a zakkura coffee shop au gets and it's one of the first zakkura fics I ever read I love it I love it I love it very good

for the True Experience of this fic you're gonna wanna read it twice because you'll be so on the edge of your seat wondering what the fuck is going on and like I put in the bookmark no matter where you think it's going you're WRONG and once you finish you're gonna wanna read it again so that you can catch all the stuff that was THERE ALL ALONG but you missed oml it's so good absolutely wild ride from start to finish there's a lot of stuff that isn't tagged tho! bc it would seriously spoil the fic, BUT do not fret, the author leaves stuff in the notes just in case something might not be up your alley or you need to know something ahead of time MY HEART RATE WAS SO HIGH THROUGHOUT THIS FIC IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY (it is actually but god this author is amazing it scratched an itch in my brian i didn't know I needed fucking awe inspiring)

it's been a while since I read this one and I don't remember v well what happens but what I DO remember is how it made me feel, which was keyboard smash incarnate and it was very wonderful

another 5+1 things, this one is a oneshot it's so lovely the writing is great from what I remember I think I do remember what happens in this but I'm not sure if I'm getting it mixed up with something else since it's been a while but I remember it being sweet and a balm to my soul

mmmmmhhhhhhh this one broke me I love their Zack so much it handles him so well after all the shot this man has been through and his unwavering loyalty to Cloud UGH it's a good oneshot

this one is so cute and silly! there's a point in the fic where it said that after the second half or so it's not going to have that same vibe and will utterly wreck you and personally I wasn't ready for that so I took the author's word for it and stopped reading there but what I DID read made me so happy and giggly and maybe you'll read the whole thing if you do then lmk what you thought of it!

this is in my marked for later and it looks super cute

can't say much because it's in my marked later but cmon man look at that summary and it says happy ending so I don't have to worry let's gooo

there's one more that I'll have to reblog to get on here because I hit the 10 image limit

[shitpostingkats]

The best part about zakkura is we don't even need fanfic to invent insane disasterous meetcutes for them. The first time they met was when they were both survivors of a helicopter crash together and the second time they met one of them was throwing up his guts in a back alley. They're just like that.

[cringefailprincess]

i told myself "hey i need to stop making uselessly long projects and just do simple easy quick stuff to work on my art". and i immediately got started on this thing

[itsfelixiguess]

[kifaprokumiv]

THE GANG

[strayheartless]

Zakkura Headcanons: HOLIDAY EDITION

Cloud is not all that festive a person. He’s not a grinch (well, no he kinda is by definition) but he doesn’t really get “ready” for Yule like everyone else. He doesn’t decorate; you couldn’t pay him to wear a holidays sweater; he stopped believing in Santa at age four; and he certainly doesn’t go out of his way to buy people gifts. Mostly because he’s never had friends to buy for, but he’s convinced himself it’s because he believes it’s stupid.

Zack. Loves. Yule. It’s his favourite holiday ever because of course it is! How can you not love Yule?! He loved “helping” his mom with baking and getting under his dad fee- I mean helping his dad decorate. Gift buying is the only thing he’s ever prepared for because he basically spends all year thinking about what to get people he likes.

Imagine Zack’s horror when he realises his best friend and crush isn’t bothered by the sights and smells of holiday cheer…

He immediately determines himself to making Cloud enjoy Yule. He’s a little neurotic about it actually -not that he lets Cloud know that, because Clouds suppose to be having fun FuN FUN! Angeal and Kunzel are both subjected to Zack’s ranting and frantic Christmas prep as he tries his absolute best to make sure Cloud has a good experience.

He invites Cloud around to Bake; drags him out in the cold to pick a tree; buys him festive drinks; drags him out AGAIN to Yule markets. Cloud for the most part silently puts up with it all, and even more privately enjoys the attention Zack gives him as the taller man tugs Clouds scarf up to cover his nose, holding his hands to warm them up.

Zack buys Cloud festive PJ’s for yules eve and basically wrestles him into them before making him park his butt on the couch to drink hot chocolate and cud- watch movies.

If Cloud falls asleep because he feels warm and safe then that’s a happy coincidence. If Zack takes advantage of his sleeping in order to tuck him into bed while Zack does some last minute wrapping and stocking stuffing then that is his business.

Cloud does have some traditions during the holidays. Namely on the actual day he will call his mom and ask if she got her present. He will stay on the phone for a while as he makes his lunch and assure her he’s fine. Yes he’s eating enough, no he doesn’t have plans today, no he’s not being bullied, yes he’s sure. It’s the same most years.

This year however when he calls her she is delighted to know that he’s spending the day with Zack. She chats animatedly with Zack about their family traditions and gushes over this “older boy looking after my baby”.

Zack keeps glancing giddily at Cloud who’s got a… hell, it’s a really fond look on his face. Clouds mom likes him! Clouds mom promised to send him mittens!

Zack wants to tell Cloud how he feels but He’s too busy making sure Cloud has a good day. Calling his own parents has Zack standing in the kitchen with a turkey baster having a mini panic attack while his mother over explains cooking times and stuffing. Then, like a guardian angel, Cloud takes the baster from him and preps the turkey like it’s something he always does.

Zack is struck with the domesticity of it all and desperately wants to blurt out “I’m so in love with you” but he doesn’t.

He had plans to tell him he swears. He’d boobie trapped the entire apartment with mistletoe and everything, but he’s so preoccupied with trying to make Cloud happy that he kind of puts it’s on the back burner.

Cloud however, beats him to it. It’s at the end of the night, when they are warm and full and cozy. They’d been playing chocobo racer, pushing at each other teasingly trying to put the other off, and then Zack had shoved Cloud a tiny bit harder than he ment too. Cloud -never one to go down without a hell of a fight- pulls Zack with him as he goes down.

They kind of just lay there for a second on their sides, Zack having rolled so he didn’t Crush his crush. And then Cloud gently leans in to Kiss Zack softly whispering a heartfelt “thank you” against his lips. Zack doesn’t have to ask what for, he knows he means the day, but he wants another kiss so he rolls Cloud on top of him, locks his arms around the smaller, and steals a couple more.

“Hey so will you be my boyfriend for Yule?”

“Just for Yule?”

“Or forever, Forever works for me if it works for you”

“Yeah that works for me…”

“Hey Cloud?”

“Mmhm?”

“I’m kinda stupidly in love with you.”

Cloud goes an adorable shade of red as he mumbles “me too” into Zack’s chest.

[shitpostingkats]

Zack Fair has a really fascinating relationship with killing where a lot of the rest of the cast doesn't. He fights people as well as monsters and gradually stops being able to differentiate the two. He helps clear out beasties and ghoulies but he also intros the game with a massive attack on a foreign nation just to shore up corporate interests and for a good chunk of the game places those two activities in the same spot in his mind. One of his side projects at work is quashing the last remnants of rebellion in said occupied country and rooting out the spies in their resistance, at which point he hands them over to his bosses to be interrogated and presumably tortured. But if he comes face to face with the same people in a combat scenario, he won't kill them, because he views their desire to see themselves free as an honorable trait. Then he turns around and attacks hordes of people who defected Shinra. He uses the blunt side of his sword, not to spare lives, but because he doesn't want to damage the sharp edge.

Wutai forces and Genesis clones have a different categorization to him, something he can mentally label as "other". But after Nibelhiem, your primary enemy type becomes other Shinra soldiers. Just after Zack has had his realizations that the monsters he was wiping out share a haunting amount of basic building blocks with his coworkers. And with himself.

Actually, let's pause. Zack is the only character we see have any sort of acceptance of being Jenova-ed. Every other character is unwilling and usually not even a conscious being yet, but Zack A) knows what is being done to him, and B) openly states he wants those monstrous traits for himself. "Those wings / I want them too." Up to this point, every other character has equated being Jenova-ed to being baser, to being subhuman, but Zack at the very beginning tried to convince Angeal that it meant freedom. Power to do what you want.

Zack Fair willingly and with open arms embraced being made less than human because he thought it would give him the strength to break out of captivity.

So he busts out, and the first thing he's greeted with it a horde of enemies that he knows are human, has worked and talked with, and are in fact the same shape and type of person as Cloud. Just a couple cutscenes ago, these were his coworkers.

The easiest way to get through them is to set them on fire and blow up the munitions they're carrying on their person.

(It's such a beautiful demystifying of the elemental system. I love it.)

Oh also, you're on a time limit, so you gotta kill all these guys fast, because they're trying to go for the weak spot, Cloud, who can't fight and is getting dragged away.

After that, the next thing Zack does is find a gun and start taking long ranged killshots.

There's a tangible feeling of a lesson being learned.

Zack is (I think?) the only SOLDIER we ever see use a gun. It's worth noting that even the most fallen of SOLDIERs stick to their flashy blades and their weird swordfights. Other characters even comment how bizarre it is, but ffvii also runs on that fantasy world logic where if you just Get Good enough, swords are just as good as guns if not better. Guns are the lower, more primitive weapon, fit for grunts and hitmen but not elite fighters.

(I could also go into detail on how some of the SOLDIERS weapon are sold as bespoke merch in world, and basically another tool in the toolbox of how to sell these flesh and blood men as mythologized products. But we don't have time to unpack all of that.)

For Zack, we know that his sword is even a symbol of honorable combat and a legacy of trying to do the right thing. Zack picking up a gun is basically debasing himself to being just another man in the field. And it's a sniper rifle. The weapon guaranteed to get him as little contact with his opponent as possible and does not even give them a chance to fight back. But it's whatever gets the job done.

Zack starts the game as someone who kills people, but it's hand-waved aside the same way it is for most everyone else, only for him to bite that awareness apple like five minutes before it becomes absolutely vital he survive at all costs. Zack becomes aware that he's on a slippery slope and due to circumstances has to start sprinting. Over the course of the game, we watch as Zack Fair goes from being someone who kills people to a killer.

[shitpostingkats]

Love how unsubtle ffvii is with the imagery of soldiers and attack dogs. Every underplate resident calls them that. They're monstrous beasts who are set loose on problems before being called to heel. Shinra's #1 propaganda mascot is a a little cartoon bloodhound. Rufus keeps hunting dogs and uses them the same way he uses his employees. Zack is called a puppy until he undergoes change and lopes far from home and snarls to protect the people he cares about and suddenly he's no longer a dog but a wolf.

[beidoma]

THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

[shitpostingkats]

Love how unsubtle ffvii is with the imagery of soldiers and attack dogs. Every underplate resident calls them that. They're monstrous beasts who are set loose on problems before being called to heel. Shinra's #1 propaganda mascot is a a little cartoon bloodhound. Rufus keeps hunting dogs and uses them the same way he uses his employees. Zack is called a puppy until he undergoes change and lopes far from home and snarls to protect the people he cares about and suddenly he's no longer a dog but a wolf.

[beidoma]

I love it when Zack is compared to a dog, in more ways than one. Not just the ‘energetic puppy’ theme.

He was Shinra’s attack dog, their hunting dog.

They gave him Angeal and Genesis’ scent and threw him out to hunt them down like a hound, and when he succeeded they praised him, congratulated him and told him he’d “made his owner’s proud”.

And then, when he wasn’t useful for them anymore, when his spirit was broken and he turned on the hand that fed him, they put him down like a mutt.

[rottenpumpkin13]

If you do NSFW-type or NSFW leaning requests: A dirty/inappropriate secret that will follow AGZSC to their grave

Zack: He once got turned on during a spar with Sephiroth. It was unintentional. Purely a physiological response to adrenaline, right? Right?? He spent the entire match overcompensating by fighting like a rabid animal, which just made Sephiroth more interested in prolonging the fight. He barely made it to the showers before collapsing against the tile, horrified by himself. To this day, he cannot look Sephiroth in the eye after particularly intense training sessions.

Sephiroth: He once tried edging for the first time without fully understanding how it worked or even what it was. He was completely alone with no one to bother him, so he thought "why not have a proper prolonged experience?" His sense of self-control was near inhuman, so he figured, How hard could it be? He kept stopping himself over and over, waiting for some kind of transcendental experience. Instead, when he finally let himself finish, his entire body seized up so violently that he headbutted the headboard and cracked it in half. He had to cast Cure on himself while staring at the ceiling in quiet, profound regret.

Cloud: He once reached his peak and had to relieve himself then and there—while sharing a tent with Zack. Zack is a loud sleeper who mutters, shifts and snores, so Cloud thought he'd be in the clear. Except the moment he was about to finish, Zack suddenly rolled over, threw an arm over him, and sleepily muttered "You're such a good friend, Spike." It startled him so much, the shock made him come immediately. Then lay there in silent horror. He has never told a soul.

Genesis: Once, during a particularly cruel dry spell, he thought "why not use what I love?" and decided to jerk off while reading Loveless. It worked, he finished, then sat there in growing horror realizing the low point he reached. The next day, he resolved not to discuss Loveless for two weeks, which should have been the end of it. But Sephiroth and Angeal never forgot. They bring up "The Loveless Abstinence Era" constantly, and Genesis gets war flashbacks.

Angeal: He once got deeply, uncomfortably turned on by the scent of leather polish. It happened by accident. He had just finished maintaining his gear, rubbing the polish into his gloves. But then, for some reason—maybe the late hour, maybe the exhaustion—his brain connected that exact scent with being handled. Firm grips. Gloved fingers. The weight of another body against his. By the time he realized what was happening, it was too late. He had to sit there, hands clasped together, staring at the wall like a man in crisis. Now, every time he cleans his gloves, he does it fast. Efficient. No lingering. He refuses to acknowledge that day.

[samijen]

cloud in a dress

what will he do👠

[rottenpumpkin13]

Has Zack ever used therapyspeak on Cloud?

(Annnnd happy very belated birthday!;;)

 

— 🪷

(Thank you!!)

*Cloud walks up to Zack, visibly pissed*

Cloud: Why is there a painting of me riding a chocobo at the front desk? Am why am I shirtless in it??

Zack: I hear that you're experiencing discomfort with how you've been represented. Your feelings of embarrassment are valid, and I'm here to hold space for you while you process this.

Cloud: What the—what the hell are you—no. No! Don't therapy voice me right now.

Zack: I sense you're setting a boundary. I deeply respect that and appreciate your emotional honesty.

Cloud: STOP THAT. Did you commission the painting?

Zack: I understand that discovering public art of yourself without consent may be triggering. Would you like to explore where that sense of betrayal stems from?

Cloud: It stems from YOU commissioning a giant painting of me looking like a goddamn calendar model!

Zack: Thank you for sharing that with me. Your vulnerability is so brave.

Cloud: I'm going to remove this scarf from around my neck and strangle you with it until you turn into the color of a

Zack: That sounds like an intrusive thought. We don't have to act on those—ackckahalcka

*Cloud proceeds to strangle him with his scarf*

Zack, still choking: Jokes on you I'm into this shit.

Cloud: