Belief Is A Wise Wager @beliefisawisewager - Tumblr Blog

“The idea of love distracts us from an existential loneliness.”

Alain de Botton’s dark truths about love is a mesmerizing animation that somehow speaks with care about the human condition.

lazyyogi

Meditate More

Just came across this old piece of writing of mine, in response to an old ask. Thought it appropriate to repost:

If you feel offended about something, you haven’t been meditating enough.

If you feel the need to defend yourself, or justify your viewpoints, you haven’t been meditating enough.

If you fear death or doubt its ability to truly touch you, you haven’t been meditating enough.

If you can’t take joy in sitting under a tree on a beautiful day, you haven’t been meditating enough.

You can also substitute “meditation” with “contemplation” in the sentences above. We can’t be meditating all the time but if you have to use your mind, use it to create clarity for yourself.

Namaste, friends. :)

We Cannot Forget the Past;

But we can blatantly ignore it.

There is a passage that has been weighing on me as of late. It’s a little out of context, but it fits the way I’ve been feeling.

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19

I had a class a couple of semesters back that explored the philosophy of living. The one that stuck with me, and that I try to maintain is the idea of living in the moment. The here and now. Not allowing your mind to stray too far forward or too far in the past. Staying present in the moment allows you to enjoy the pleasure of every interaction. The way water slips through your fingers, leaving a cool lingering. The way skin feels on your lips, warm and a little salty. The feeling you get in the presence of someone who makes you feel good, peaceful, content, worthy.

As content as I am living in the present moment, there are so many that focus their thoughts on the past. I find the most disheartening conversations of late are about the past. There is so much there that needs to be left.

I’ve found that I no longer seek to know that self. My concern lies with the present being in front of me.

We are such ever changing entities, the past is only a trace of one’s present self. I am not who I was a year ago, nor am I the same person I will be tomorrow. How can we judge someone for the things they did during their time of growth? We comfort children with words of hope and understanding, “

It will be okay,“ and we believe that ourselves because why wouldn’t we want to?

There’s a weight that comes with the past, and while we should remember the feelings that were invoked - that is all we should remember. Why should we hesitate to love for fear of heartache? The best ache I’ve known was that fueled by a new love. Why should we hesitate to move for fear of falling? A cliffside is only scary if you don’t have balance.

There has to be a fine line between acknowledging the past, focusing on the present, and only allowing the future a fleeting moment.

Our past molds us, but the shape we take is entirely our own decision. Stay in the moment, stay where you want to be. Just stay sane.

lazyyogi

A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.

Byron Katie (via lazyyogi)

Do you know what you believe?

I believe that we as humanity have so much growing still to do. I believe that as advanced as we think we are, we are still so young and naive. I believe that we cling onto comforting things in hopes of quieting our restless spirits. I believe we've gotten too comfortable in a lifestyle that is merely a stepping stone onto something greater. I believe that we have no idea what we're doing and any answer is a good one.I believe in leaving everything behind and starting over.I believe we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Beliefs are more complicated than I can explain in a few words. The complexity we face each day when we wake up and ask ourselves what it is we believe is the same complexity we face when given a difficult task. We have to evaluate how it will affect us, how it will mold us, change us, grow us. Beliefs are mere analogies for what we really want in life. I believe in happiness. And I believe it takes dark days to achieve that end. But I so believe it's worth every day of suffering to be where you want to be. Now, what do you believe?

Absence has no excuse;

And I need to be here so much right now. I've hit this amazing turning point where I know what I want. And it includes putting myself down in the form of written word, and leaving pieces of myself in notes scattered throughout the world. I recently got the encouragement to get into freelance writing. In a world so full of technologically driven words - blogs, posts, trends, likes - I had forgotten how simple the rest of the world can be. I say I've been absent from my writing. Really, I've just been caught up in the presentation. Of course, it matters that readers be interested in content. But it matters more that I be proud of it. I have drafts upon drafts saved up, waiting to be looked over and edited for the thousandth time. And, why? So I'm sure I don't use too many commas? But I'm such a fan of pause. To be sure my voice is moving in the right direction? Who can even judge that? Maybe it's the change of altitude, and the thin air is getting to me, but I'm so ready to take this world on all over again. This time, with words of my very own. Here's to me, and to all of these beautiful sentences yet to be formed. “There are times when the world is rearranging itself, and at times like that, the right words can change the world.” S.

When the City Sighs;

I’ve decided the man in front of me must be something special.

I saw it at the red light moments ago when his car hummed a little too loud.

A gem, once. Ravaged by time and charged desires.

It is prim. Polished. Like-New.

But it hasn’t always been.

Here is a man that saw something broken and made it beautiful again.

A feat he could repeat with such as I.

A heart that yearns for a man that knows damage and sees beauty.

legalhorchata

Visit Original Link

Song of the Day: I Will Follow You into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie

“Love of mine, some day you will die But I’ll be close behind I’ll follow you into the dark No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight Waiting for the hint of a spark”

beingblog

We’re all just walking each other home.

Ram Dass (via beingblog)

beingblog

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass – grows in silence; see the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence… we need silence to be able to touch souls.”

Mother Theresa (via beingblog)

lazyyogi

To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.

Alan Watts (via lazyyogi)

A favorite;

lazyyogi

I hope this question is not too personal but what was your dark tea time of the soul like?

Dark Tea Time of the Soul? I have no idea if that was a typo or what but from now on I’m definitely going to call it that.

Typically the term is “dark night of the soul” and it comes from the poetry of Saint John of the Cross.

If you want an intense and metaphorical example, think of Jesus on the cross. Jesus was a son of God, a naturally gifted and awakening individual. His life had been guided by God’s grace and endless love. When he was brutally beaten, tortured, and crucified, he experienced anguish beyond anything he had before known. That is when he cried out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

That was Jesus’ dark night of the soul. It is that moment in time in which all of your power, all of your understanding, all of your faith can do nothing to save you. To move through the dark night of the soul, you must not run away. But you also must not attempt to force your way through it. If there is one lesson taught by the dark night, it is surrender.

For most people, myself included, the dark night of the soul is not a single moment but perhaps a few different periods of time in our life. If I were to look back and count, I would say I have experienced three.

The first was in college as a freshman. My father had just died the year before, I moved from a small and sheltered privileged town into a larger collegiate context, and I was utterly lost. My roommate would go out drinking most nights and was busy pledging a frat. All of my initial “yay college!” friends went separate ways into different frats, while I didn’t. I spent a lot of time alone in my room. The pain and confusion is what caused me to seek, and in seeking I came to meditation and the spiritual path. Things improved vastly from there, including college and my social life.

The second was after college. My girlfriend of six years and I split up, I had no career prospects, and I was living at home. Meanwhile my college friends were living in NYC and working on Wall Street. I felt as if the rug had been ripped out from under me and I woke every morning with a heavy dread in my gut. This was the time I discovered Sufi poetry, Tibetan buddhist teachings such as those given by the Dalai Lama and Pema Chodron, and Tonglen meditation. I was also seeing a therapist weekly, who was a great guy. It helped me to slowly soften my knots and release my suffering. It took two years.

The third is now. I’m finishing the end of a post-baccalaureate premedical program at Columbia, which was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It has changed me in invaluable ways. But last summer I had an episode of muscle spasms from which I still haven’t healed. Since then I have been plagued with insomnia and continual bodily discomfort. It disturbs my meditation, lowers my performance on exams, and keeps me in a somewhat self-concerned mindset. I take the MCAT next Saturday and I finish my program’s last course by August. Until then, I am praying and doing whatever I can but I’m starting to discover how little control I have.

The thing about the dark night of the soul is that it is a very good sign. Don’t get me wrong, it is hell. But it is the opportunity to permanently alter your state of delusion for the better. The first time around, it was my first real movement from the suffering of ignorance to the peace of clarity. The second time, it was the movement from an unconscious heart to a conscious Heart. The third time? I have no idea. It sucks but at this point I have no other choice but to surrender to the fierce grace that is guiding this time of my life.

None of it is easy but from the perspective of existential sanity, there is no other real choice. We either turn back to the comfort of delusion or we allow grace to smash our illusions and see what remains when the dust settles.

Hopefully I’ll have something inspiring to share by the end of it all come this Fall.

And thank you for this question, it has given me a much appreciated opportunity to reflect.

Namaste. Much love.

I started seeing someone;

And the oddest thing happened - I stopped seeing myself.

As someone who was in a relationship for much of their adolescent life, the perogative that I held onto during that break up was that I needed space for myself.

Instead, I dove head first into what may be the most casual, yet not so casual relationship ever. I’ve tetered on the verge of wanting more with this beguiling young man for weeks now, until this morning, that is.

I wanted to go outside. But not just to the backyard. I wanted to go hiking - I need to be closer to the stars, I need to feel the earth pulsate under my feet, and I need to spend some time with just the rustle of leaves.

And I wanted to go by myself.

Faith is just an idea we have that there is something greater than we are. That life cannot be as simple as we would like it to be. That there is a force responsible for our happiness, and in that mindset, we are set to believe that who we are is dependent on our faith.

My faith has never truly rested within myself. Shouldn’t it?

So, this morning, while I was (and it is painful to admit this) scrolling through dating articles - I began to truly understand the concept of loving myself first.

There is, after all, something to be said of a lady who can take herself shopping and to dinner and feel nothing but good about it. And there is more to be said of a lady that allows a man into her life as a compliment, rather than a crutch.

Dare I say I’m happy where things are right now?

philosophybits

Man is obviously made for thinking. Therein lies all his dignity and merit; and his whole duty is to think as he ought.

Blaise Pascal (via philosophybits)

Anxiety;

I woke up this morning in a state of anxiety I haven’t felt since I realized death was truly imminent.

That seems a but extreme, but I’m truly not an anxious person. I’m fairly level - headed and grounded, for the most part.

The concept of death and what it meant kept me awake - tossing and turning - for over a year. It took me more self-understanding than I can explain to calm myself enough to accept that death is permanent, inevitable, and wholly terrifying.

This is so important because it is the same line of thought that had me shaking when I awoke this morning.

The biggest issue I have with death is that it takes you away. There is responsibility during this life to make an impact - or be forgotten when one dies. There will come a day when no one remembers your self, your ego, or your actions. Though I believe in reincarnation to a capacity, I believe the former self is lost upon rebirth- your own soul doesn’t even recognize who are in this moment.

So this was brought on by a single line last night during dinner, one that would escape any other person unexamined.

“But that relationship didn’t last long.”

There was a silence. Maybe that’s what punctuated it for me. The pregnant pause that followed - heavy with thought on my end, and another bite of on his.

My thought in the moment was simple - he had alluded to several previous relationships with other women. I was focused on how many there had been. It seemed a harmless thought, his age holds more weight than mine - more opportunities. I didn’t realize in the moment what a dangerous path I was leading myself down.

It that moment, however, it passed quickly. We returned to amicable dinner conversation, using it to learn more about each other - as any normal date should aim for.

I pushed it to the back of my mind, but it’s very obvious my subconscious was not having it. At eight am, I woke up with a single thought - Am I ready to be just another relationship?

In a life where my goal is to impact, to beg remembrance - am I ready to be so easily forgotten? A mere one liner in a passing thought?

It goes against everything I’ve conditioned myself to know.

My previous relationships have either been Atlas- heavy, or so casual they didn’t have time to form a real bond between two souls.

The more I think about it, the more it resembles the idea of heartbreak - something I’m not wholly unfamiliar with, but haven’t experienced in quite some time.

The fear of heartbreak is parallel to the fear of rejection. A marriage so dangerous, it has driven good people bad.

I have no doubt that this fear goes far beyond my current casual situation, but will continue to extend deeper into my being as I examine who I am, and what I want. I have hopes, however, that much like death - heartbreak, fear, rejection, being forgotten - will pass with each rebirth. These feelings are deep set and remnant of who I once was, whether it was in this life or a former, I’m unsure.

But for now, it is my personal duty to quell this fears, and work it out for this sake of self.

Here’s to you imaginary readers - helping me work out the most awful girl problems in the most complicated way.

Sierra.

new-aesthetic

Blogs and social media have allowed us to talk to ourselves (but not to reach out beyond the left bubbles); they have also generated pathological behaviours and forms of subjectivity which not only generate misery and anger – they waste time and energy, our most crucial resources. Email and handhelds, meanwhile, have produced new forms of isolation and loneliness: the fact that we can receive communications from work anywhere and anytime means we are exposed to work’s order-words when we are alone, without the possibility of support from fellow workers. In sum, the obsession with the web, its monopolisation of any idea of the new, has served capitalist realism rather than undermined it. Which does not mean, naturally, that we should abandon the web, only that we should find out how to develop a more instrumental relationship with it. Put simply, we should use it – as a means of dissemination, communication and distribution – but not live inside it. The problem is that this goes against the tendencies of handhelds. We all recognise the by now cliched image of a train carriage full of people pecking at their tiny screens, but have we really registered how miserable this really is, and how much it suits capital for these pockets of socialisation to be closed down?

Abandon hope (summer is coming) | k-punk (via new-aesthetic)

2ndsong

I don’t know. I don’t know who to tell anymore when I find new music and I don’t know where I’m gonna express how much I love them and who’s gonna agree with me and who I’m gonna listen to it with while I fall asleep and who’s going to hear about my day and my test grades and how long I napped and what I ate for dinner and what movie I watched and the interesting things I learned in class and how much I hate physics and when I didn’t read the assignment for English and how I went to get food with friends instead of jogging laps in gym and how productive I was studying that night and who’s going to listen to me sing my favorite bands and then sing with me and take walks with me in the summer on the most beautiful days and who’s going to do that all and care about it. I don’t know.

I miss you (via 2ndsong)

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