Flute Probs

[mjalti]

tbh i am not the person you want to be texting in an emergency, my notifications are off and i’m on Do Not Disturb. i haven’t had a ringtone since the dark years of ‘06. i’ll text u back in four (business) months like “hope that worked out, the Lord works in mysterious ways xx”

[toothygremlin]

I’d like to give a very big fuck you to anyone who talks badly about janitors, trashmen, maids, house cleaners,ect.

[insomniac-arrest]

feeling when entering a store

walmart- paranoia

7/11- certainty

target- home

super target- your estranged aunt’s home

macy’s- smugness

Home Depot- loss

whole foods- the kale feeling

CVS- the all knowing eye of God

dunkin donuts- a lady yelling at me in a brooklyn accent

walgreens- grandpa’s firm hand shake

costco- endurance

[somekindlove-deactivated2019032]

(x)

[laundromatslotmachine-deactivat]

[trapcard]

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

amazing how he resisted the temptation to devour that sign long enough for this picture to be taken, given how much he loves the taste of cardboard

[relahvant]

when i make a joke to myself and no one’s around to hear it

[lovelysuggestion]

each time I tell you those three words I mean them more and more

[jimmybuffetsmargaritaville]

I eat bugs

[florelgreen-deactivated20210608]

you’re really cute and its ruining my life because i think about kissing you all the time

[darklids]

Im into the illness

[gligar]

she’s down with the sickness

[keatonpatti]

[sp4cec4det-deactivated20250524]

[sixpenceee]

A doctor chronicled the progression of Alzheimer’s disease in one of his patients by collecting her signatures from medical forms over several years. 

[shitboy96]

flirting like

[746486945895314343514364841-blog]

[cruciphix]

She’s tired and her feet hurt

[52ozcoffeemug]

Me

[blackberryshawty]

Me at the club at 2:00 am

[lesbianmooncolony-deactivated20]

remember to drink lots of water, because your insides are a swampy bog and a water shortage would affect the local frog population

[the-humdrum-gatsby]

"If he writes her a few sonnets, he loves her. If he writes her 300 sonnets, he loves sonnets"

- my english professor

[pervocracy]

I think about this quote all the time and I feel like it explains a lot of things about human behavior