As she sat down on the bed, Rhett debated on whether he should join her, or remain standing. Neither option would make this easier though. He let himself go back to the times that they were up here, and they would just lay on the bed and talk. Talk about their problems, just their everyday things. His first night up in her bedroom specifically came to mind. They had barely known each other long, but she had asked him to come and talk. It was never awkward, or strange, they just fell into this comfort with each other. It was like they had known one another for much longer. They stayed up for hours just talking. Rhett had never done that with a girl, but the way Belle just revealed herself to him, touched him in a way he could never explain. And since that night she had reached into his soul, and made him different. It was that night that led them here. To this moment. Letting out a sigh, a small chuckle behind it, Rhett sat down next to her. “You’re right. Though it would have been worth the drive.” He gave her a signature smile, being his normal self, but only for a short moment. For as he looked into her eyes, and saw the vulnerability in them, he knew he owed it to her to no longer play this game. He looked away, his eyes finding the floor, trying to pull together his thoughts. “You know, my whole life I grew up thinking that everything is just fleeting. That nothing lasts. People leave each other. Dreams die. So what is the point of trying to hold on to something that will only bring you pain? Live life just for the day, it will be better that way. You can’t get hurt.” He nodded to himself, almost as if he was thinking more out loud than talking directly to Belle. “And let me tell you, it worked. Not caring, it’s easier than you think. I was good at it. I planned to live my life like this. It was fool proof.” He turned his head, his eyes finding hers again, and he was quiet as he held his stare. “Until you.” His voice softened. “You weren’t supposed to mean anything to me. In my head you were just another pretty blonde, but you are a stubborn one, Belle Hartford,” he laughed lightly, “and you snuck your way into making me care about you. I don’t know how it happened, or when, but I found myself seeing you more than just a fuck buddy,.. You became the girl I wanted my nights and mornings with. The one who’s hand felt so good in mine. It mattered to me that I wanted to be the one to make you smile. Make you laugh. And when you couldn’t do either of those things, I wanted to be the one you could depend on. That wasn’t supposed to happen, Belle. I shouldn’t have let it happen.” He felt a lump in his throat, and he swallowed hard. “All of this. All that has happened between us, I thought I could control, and when I felt that control slipping I knew that the only thing that could happen was me hurting you. And I know I have.” Looking at her now, it pained him to know that he had hurt this beautiful, caring woman in front of him. “You deserved better than what I did to you. You didn’t deserve the things I said to you. Those things… I said them to push you away because I kept telling myself that I was protecting you. And there was a part of that, that is true, but who I was…” He cut himself off just needing a moment. God, why did this have to be so hard? He took a deep breathe, and for the first time in his life allowed himself to be vulnerable to someone else. “Who I was really protecting was myself. I knew that if I gave us the chance that meant you had the power to hurt me. So I stayed away. Thinking that if I cut you out of my life that I would be safe.” He didn’t know if he was making sense, and his eyes questioned hers to see if she understood. “But I just ended up hurting both of us in the process. I was selfish with you, and being selfish now cause I’m still thinking that there is a chance that you still care for me.” His eyes searched her’s for a sign that he was right.
