Jay: Margo looks...uh...10 years younger. How old was she when she was lost at sea? 17?
Father: A roving tour of the Old World will do that. Margo will settle things in the Near East. She knows her way around Constantinople and the treaties over the Black Sea.
Jay: I wish I could just call you a drunk and call it a day, but no, Margo *does not care* about dead white guys playing Risk, okay? No, I mean...have you noticed anything different about Margo since you rescued her from being shipwrecked in the south seas?
Mother: We noticed that she needed rescuing from the ship's cabin after the crew rebelled against her feminist overreach. Really, Jay, what more do you need? Don't be jealous of your sister because she's growing up.
Jay: Growing up?! That's normal! *Not shrinking half a foot shorter!* Why is she like a 12-year-old when she's 17? And changing from Ghost World to the Care Bears! What on earth's happened to her? She doesn't look the same, talk the same, think the same. She's acting like a little kid! Was she kidnapped to that Village and replaced with a double? Or is there a literal clone still in the basement? I don't wanna go look down there.
Father: Everyone's safely dead and buried.
Jay: I don't even know what you're talking about. But she's acting like a 50s teenybopper! And what's with her spending all her time in the stables teaching horses the alphabet?
Mother: I thought you approved of her being a misanthropic recluse who can only make a tragic friendship with a spider.
Father: Horses are highly intelligent. They stomp those mighty hoofs so they can hear sounds and speech through the vibrations in the ground.
Jay: That can't...possibly be plausible. Can you still hear the vibrating sounds in the glue?
Father: Don't be silly! Only horses can make sense of that.
Mother: Do you really need to harass your sister when she just made it back home to a horse she thinks is her old horse I shot? How low can you go, Jay?
Jay: She's lost her angst! She's turned in her subscriptions to Teen Scowl and I Don't Like Mondays! Do you really think she gave in because you shot her horse?
Mother: Yes. But the important thing is, it was her decision.
Jay: You two live on Broadway. If anything, she's going to have 3 simultaneous heart attacks, at age 17, and then systematically take this place apart.
Mother: Now, she's just far too lazy for that.
*Margo looking weirdly like her original self*Margo: Hey big brother. Damn. Your pupils...have you been drugged? Mom, did you drug Jay? He hasn't irritated you in years. Besides, Alice can do that now. Probably better, too. You wanna put in a slowly increasing amount with his breakfast so he doesn't notice-
Mother: No, dear. He's got it into his cute little bald head that just because you're 5 inches shorter, no longer make obnoxiously true remarks about our class status, and swoon over boys like a 6th grader instead of telling us all how rotten we are with a slideshow and footnotes, there must be something wrong with you. I thought you were just finally hitting your stride. And thank god. You can't go around in a hoodie and pretend it's a fashion statement. Unless you want it to be, "I'm a slacker, Charelston."
Margo: Mother...Is that what you've been seeing? How can you think I'd change so much as to NOT do those things?
Mother: Hope. The hope that I won't have to be ruthless again. The hope that you would somehow find happiness on a barren island. I don't know. I don't care how it's all fixed.
Margo: I can see I might as well have stayed on that rock.
Mother: It must be easy to see things from up on that high horse. Judging bad people is easy when you're firmly in the saddle doing sit-ups.
Margo: it's easy just talking to you. And you killed my horse!? Mother, Father, what the hell?!
Mother: Do you even know the difference between all these prize horses I've killed and bought?
Margo: Did you think I wasn't going to notice?!
Mother: Oh dear. I thought you'd have the maturity to know every horse becomes the paste for Penny's little macaroni Thanksgiving project. Would you do that to Penny? For your selfish little sentiment over a horse? Do you want Alice to drug Jay into a peaceful death? Jay, do you want your bastard-bearing girlfriend to kill you?
Jay: Mother, Penny's not a bastard....ah, never mind, it makes her and Alice cuter. But, no, Margo, that was a......character.....assassin....Margo. Wait. Why are you tall and rightly pissed off again?
Margo: It's who I am. ...Not by choice. Just by having to ape these social graces.
Jay: Tell me about it! But until you got back you were totally different. And a character assassination is how I got these Bosko pupils. And I think a character assassin might be trying to change *you*.
Margo: Hey, I beat mom at the coming out ball. I think i can handle it.
Jay: No, Margo, I don't think anybody can. Somebody *outside* the story has hired an assassin to shoot the Daria right out of you. They want you to be warmer. Cuddlier. Less controversial.
Margo: I'm controversial?
Jay: Well...to a room full of guys in suits, yes.
Margo: *disappointed* Oh.
Jay: Sorry, Margo. It's the 90s. Nobody has hope. But it'll come. Right about when you lose all your rights, it'll come.
Margo: Uh. I'm gonna go talk to the horses again.
...Margo: Jay. They're not very good parents.
Jay: ...yeah. I should have hired a P.I. or something.
Margo: Probably. But just talking to me makes perfect sense, too.
Jay: Yeah, except a character assassin's put a hit out on you.
Margo: Who? Larry David? I'll trust you anyway.
Jay: Even though you're EXTREMELY thankful that Alice-
Margo: Takes care of you. Because you take care of her. Hey, I've got my own life. I have to find Horse Island and make peace with them.
Jay: They won't try to kill you?
Margo: Nah. Piece of cake compared to navigating Futurama fans.
Jay: Oy. I see your point.
gummygunk
2087
pixelskylines
dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
gamechangershow
