My Lowest Point (not PMS)
I think I am at my lowest point right now. It’s finals season in ALS and I am so stressed not only about how I will study and review the loooong coverages of my courses, but also because of certain realizations. I am not sure if this is quarter-life crisis waving but I am sure that I don’t like it. So, going through the different aspects of life:
1. Physical At this point, I think this is the greatest source of my stress. I have always been insecure about how I look like, how I’m overweight and generally labelled as “fat” since I can remember. I managed to lose weight last year. Law school happened and I resorted to stress eating, which I am not proud of and would not recommend. I gained all of the weight back. At this moment, I am at my heaviest at around 70-71 kgs and I’m 5′0! I’m not sure if that’s obese already, I’m pretty sure it is. It is alarming for me because it affects different aspects of my life now. My self-esteem decreased. I don’t like to have my photos taken nor be with people because I am afraid they will judge me. I am not happy with what I see in the mirror. I am not happy of how it makes me feel. Everyday, I feel sad knowing that I am not healthy. I feel sad that I can’t wear the clothes that I want. Frankly, I feel sad because I’m afraid my boyfriend will realize that her girlfriend is not that attractive. Most importantly, I feel sad because all I have is regrets eating a lot for a past year with lots of guilt but I still carried on without regard to caring for myself. All I can do now is to make up for the weight that I gained, lose it all again and build a healthier lifestyle (but not soon because it’s finals huhu I have to study and sacrifice sleep for studying).
2. Spiritual/Moral I used to be very spiritual and living up to the word of God. Now, I feel like I have grown apart from Him. I forget to pray and talk to him everyday and I feel that I am not expressing my gratitude over the blessings that I receive. I am not at peace with my life and I know that strengthening my relationship with Him can heal it. I have to work on this more (Later na again, I study first lol)
3. Mental 4. Career/Studies 5. Social













