Can I?
Can I think about you and hope you’re thinking about me too?
|May 3rd, 2019|
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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tannertan36
dirt enthusiast
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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cherry valley forever

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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Kiana Khansmith

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@bemydaisy
Can I?
Can I think about you and hope you’re thinking about me too?
|May 3rd, 2019|
Because sometimes someone else says it best:
“I want a guy who actually gives a shit about me.
He’ll show his love with actions.
When he says he’s going to show up, he’s going to. He’s going to care about how my day went and do all the little things that will make it better. He’ll warm the car up on a cold day, carry the heavier grocery bags, and try his best to make every date night special for us.
He’ll make an effort to show that he cares because it’s second nature to him and not because he’s in the doghouse.
He’s going to talk me up to everyone he knows not because he wants to make me look good but because he’s proud to show me off.
He’ll want to spend all of his time with me but never threaten my independence.
I won’t have to feel like a backup plan because he’ll never make excuses. He’ll say “yes” and not “maybe” when I ask to do the things that I want to do.  And it won’t be clingy, or overbearing because it will just seem natural to do most things together.
And when we’re not together, he won’t forget that I exist.
He won’t ghost me on the weekends or have me worried about his “free time” because he’ll always want to call and let me know that I’m missed, cared about and/or extremely loved.
And if shit hits the fan between us, he’ll respect my space but he’ll never leave my side.
He won’t disregard a fight as something I’ll get over. He’ll work to make things better because he never wants to be the reason I’m hurt. He’ll actually give a shit about my feelings.
He’ll make me look forward to our future together because each and every day he will inspire and bring out the best of me.
But he’ll still make me feel like the way I am now, even with all my imperfections is already perfect.”Â
We’re just a universe apart:
Can I dream of doing everything with you...?
|Oct. 31st, 2018|
Or lose the chance.
I dream of:
Getting a wonderful night’s sleep. Well rested, no noise in the middle of the night, perfect room temperature, all of the simple and splendid things it takes to feel refreshed when you wake up.  Coffee after a crappy night’s sleep is no longer cutting it.Â
I seriously dream of going somewhere just to sleep.Â
Maybe it’s time to book a flight, take a little trip, take a break from this tension and stressful living situation, and for goodness sake, get some sleep! (And it can count in being a partial celebration of finishing a chunk of school.)
Amen.
Some words;
To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
Life is too short. Too short to not take the risk.
I’d risk it all.
|Oct. 14th, 2017|
Spot on.
|Oct. 7th, 2017|
Sometimes you have to choose between planting roots or growing wings.
The tension is present. The unsettled feeling with every move, noise or words spoken. The instant dread upon pulling up in the driveway. This is not a fun way to live.
|Sep. 9th, 2017|
No castle required
There is something scary about being vulnerable. Something uncertain. With that being said, in this moment, I wish I could be the princess that someone saves and is taken to a place (or a galaxy ;0] ) far, far away.Â
How’s that for vulnerable?Â
|Sep. 7th, 2017|
At times, when I can't sleep I write things out... the following is result of that. [written out Aug. 28th.] Every so often, when I need things to be put into perspective, I think back at the things I’ve done, yet never thought I’d do. Things that never crossed my mind. Things that I think don’t often cross one’s mind. Things that I had to learn how to do fast, succeed, and figure out any problems on the spot and at times, by myself. I never thought I'd have to learn the ratio of Thick-It (a thickening powder) to any liquid. Or that I'd become a pro at cooking soft boiled eggs. The assembling and disassembling of daily of items that were a necessity. Becoming comfortable with adult diapers and bed liners. Learning how to use a hospital bed and oxygen tank. Mastering the scary and delicateness of a feeding tube. The early mornings, exhausted nights, and the half asleep walks to and from the room next door when something was needed. Taking one's blood pressure or getting their oxygen level count would become second nature and could be done ever so quickly and properly. Learning how to anchor yourself to be able to have them lean on you with most, if not all their body weight just to get them in and out of the chair/shower/bed. To be able to bathe, dress, feed, and have them set for their day before any speech therapy appointments, or physical therapist drop-ins. Memorizing pills, ointments, cords to oxygen tanks, feeding tubes, bandages. Knowing what an open wound looks like when it's bad and when it's "not as bad as before." Knowing sweaters and blankets had to be on hand throughout the day despite it being Summer and a scorching 99 degrees outside. Becoming amazing at creating mental lists of things needed for any type of outing. That all and so much more I know I am forgetting became second nature and routine it. It had to be almost as smooth as a well oiled machine especially with me still in school. ( I say almost because what is always perfect?) The amount of sleep I/we had to learn how to run on was unbelievable. How I was able to juggle that all, I swear, only God himself knows. But the point is I did. Obviously there have been other things aside from that that I’ve had to tackle as well. Whatever they might have been, they got done, and I made it ready to tackle something else and of course, live life. Though it’s thought of every now and then, of how those years of care taking took a good deal of sacrifice, more sacrifice than anything else I’ve done, and the things I have had to quickly make up for, I wouldn't think twice about doing it again. The personal sacrifice I don’t speak of. Two maybe three friends at the most know. The things I had to put on hold that I am now doing makes accomplishing them taste so much sweeter though. I always just sum it all up as part of being a caretaker. I don’t go into the nitty gritty details. Maybe partly because I get a little sad reliving it all in some strange fast-forward rewind in my head, or because I don’t want any praise. I feel like I was giving back to them a tiny fraction of what they gave to my mom, my brothers, and I without any hesitation. I remind myself when going through a difficult time, if I could do all that, I can handle any other situations that come my way. I am one who should not be doubted. When I am determined, I am just that, determined. I am willing to to tackle things head on and find the best in that particular situation. So you shouldn't doubt me. You shouldn't doubt the woman I am and what has helped me to become her.Â
These words ring especially true right now. Didn't just pass, but aced the last exam before the final project!
|Aug. 30th, 2017|
Wrapping things up. Learning what’s left to learn. And in less than a month it’ll be time to start something new. New chapter. New accomplishments. New adventures.Â
Optimism, positivity, & perseverance is what this girl has got. Especially with the final project ahead, especially with that!Â
Here goes nothing...
|Aug. 28th, 2017|
Meet me in my dreams
Tonight, I miss you…
a good damn deal.
|Aug. 19th, 2017|
Road thoughts
I want a husband who will let me paint the door bright red on a whim.Â
A husband who will walk in the front door and compliment the rearranged furniture.
That husband who will be perfectly fine with me sprucing up an old coffee table.
One who can’t wait to come home and kiss his paint covered overalls, messy bun, DIY loving wife.Â
[Keyword being want, not need.]
|Aug. 14th, 2017|
We're what you'd call sentimental.
|Aug. 11th, 2017|