cormacnewman‌
If someone had told him that this was what the reaction to everything was going to be, and that he was going to feel this good about it all, he would’ve gone for it a long time ago. After so many years of lying to himself, trying to act like something he wasn’t, and pretend all there was between them was a strong friendship, it was a relief to be fully honest. It also felt amazing, to be standing there kissing him, feeling his body pressed against his, the clear desire between them both. This was the beginning of something that he’d wanted for a long time, and it was exciting, and terrifying all in one. But whatever it was, and whatever it was going to be, he was glad it was with Ben.
Ben rolled his hips forward, his leg pressing between his own, giving just a hint of the pressure that had gotten him so far the last time they had done something like this. A sharp breath left his lips, mirroring the noise that came from Ben’s mouth at the feeling of his hands, and he wanted more. Everything they had had that morning, the kiss, the pressure of their bodies pressed together, it had been good, but it had also been light, all impulse and a question, not wanting to cross too many lines when things weren’t spoken so clearly. They didn’t have that to worry about now, though, and Mac wanted Ben to know that. To know just how badly he wanted him, all of him. The feeling of his fingers dancing along the band of his jeans just told him that he wanted the same. “I want you, Ben, I’ve wanted you for a long time,” he breathed, barely taking his lips off of Ben’s. It felt good to say it out loud, to admit to himself and his best friend that this was what he’d been hoping for, for longer than the had even been aware of. As if to illustrate his point, he rocked his hips forward harder, feeling the effect he was having on Ben already pressing against his leg, the pressure he also found there making him want so much more.
It was next to impossible to rationalise what was happening, and under normal circumstances that would have annoyed Ben to no end. However, he couldn’t care less about rationality right now. He was lost in Cormac’s kisses, in the way their bodies seemed to fit perfectly together. It wasn’t really a surprise. They had shared a bed before, properly cuddled up against each other. Perhaps that should have given him a clue of how his friend felt. Everyone kept telling him friends didn’t normally do that. However he had refused to believe it, terrified of getting his hopes up only to end up disappointed. He had been wrong. It had taken some time, of course - a much needed space for Cormac to truly found out what he wanted, but this was happening, and Ben could barely believe it was real.Â
The noise that left his lips as Mac rocked his hips forward once more, harder this time, was less than chaste. His trousers were already starting to feel extremely uncomfortable; his arousal more than eager to be set free. His hands felt clumsy all of a sudden, as if he wasn’t sure what to do with them. He knew what he wanted - he wanted to touch Cormac, to hear him moan his name like he had before; but the realisation of what was about to happen made him feel self-conscious. “I want you too, so bad.”, he said between open mouthed rough kisses, his fingers finding Mac’s zipper and undoing it, as his hand slipped under them and teased over his friend’s underwear, testing the waters. He kept moving for a minute or two, paying attention to every sound, every whimper coming from Cormac’s mouth. However, he stopped after a bit, looking into his eyes. “I- I might not be very good at this. You know, the whole sex deal. We- uhm- we can go to my room maybe. I- wow. I just can’t believe you actually want to do this with me.”












