benpaulsonâ:
He wanted to reply, to make sure Mac knew that he hadnât meant to stay silent, that he shouldâve asked anyway; but all words seemed meaningless compared to what was happening now. He got the feeling that talking wasnât necessary. His friend probably knew everything he needed to say, and now doing was much more important than that. So that was exactly what he did, as the kiss deepened and his hand snaked under Cormacâs shirt, fingers brushing his bare back. The contact, as chaste as it was, sent a rush of heat through his body. The way their bodies were pressed together, it was impossible that Mac wasnât feeling the effect this situation was already having on him. His mind went immediately to the last time they had been together, to that morning that had started all this mess. How embarrassed he had been after everything had happened. It was different now, though - it was different for both of them. This time he stopped thinking, he stopped trying to convince himself this was too good to be true, and that it couldnât last, and he let himself go.
When Macâs hand moved down towards his ass, a small gasp escaped his lips, swallowed by their kisses that were growing in heat by the second. Without wasting any time, Ben rolled his hips upward, pressing up against Cormacâs leg; but also offering some pressure between his friendâs legs. He didnât know what to do, but the last time that had worked, so he was taking the safe road. He wasnât sure how far they were going to go. He knew what he wanted, but he also was going to respect Macâs wishes. His hand travelled down his back softly, now playing with the waistband of his jeans, all while keeping the friction going. âOh my god.â, he whispered against Cormacâs lips. He couldnât help but be amused at the irony. What if his parents knew the way he was using the name of the Lord right now?
If someone had told him that this was what the reaction to everything was going to be, and that he was going to feel this good about it all, he wouldâve gone for it a long time ago. After so many years of lying to himself, trying to act like something he wasnât, and pretend all there was between them was a strong friendship, it was a relief to be fully honest. It also felt amazing, to be standing there kissing him, feeling his body pressed against his, the clear desire between them both. This was the beginning of something that heâd wanted for a long time, and it was exciting, and terrifying all in one. But whatever it was, and whatever it was going to be, he was glad it was with Ben.
Ben rolled his hips forward, his leg pressing between his own, giving just a hint of the pressure that had gotten him so far the last time they had done something like this. A sharp breath left his lips, mirroring the noise that came from Benâs mouth at the feeling of his hands, and he wanted more. Everything they had had that morning, the kiss, the pressure of their bodies pressed together, it had been good, but it had also been light, all impulse and a question, not wanting to cross too many lines when things werenât spoken so clearly. They didnât have that to worry about now, though, and Mac wanted Ben to know that. To know just how badly he wanted him, all of him. The feeling of his fingers dancing along the band of his jeans just told him that he wanted the same. âI want you, Ben, Iâve wanted you for a long time,â he breathed, barely taking his lips off of Benâs. It felt good to say it out loud, to admit to himself and his best friend that this was what heâd been hoping for, for longer than the had even been aware of. As if to illustrate his point, he rocked his hips forward harder, feeling the effect he was having on Ben already pressing against his leg, the pressure he also found there making him want so much more.















