I cannot believe I am doing an entire post about Phil, but he's the only contestant with a name beginning with P, so here we are.
Phil stuck around until about halfway through the competition, but that was more than enough time for him to leave his mark. Literally. Look at the “mark” he left on this fence after chucking a piece of wood for no particular reason:
Now, I don’t remember finding this to be THAT funny during the actual episode, which surprises me, because after I read ANTMFunny’s post about this, I didn’t know how I couldn’t have been laughing about Phil preparing to viciously smash in Cory’s head while Cory portrays an alien from Planet Androgyny. You know, just your everyday act of modeling.
Unfortunately for Phil, it’s actually impossible to talk about him without talking about his Jesus weave. Honestly, he should feel lucky that, in the following cycle, Denzel got a beard weave, because that’s the only thing that could get anyone to stop focusing on Our Lord and Savior Phil’s make-over.
It didn’t help his case that they immediately after stuffed him into a diaper and a pair of sandals.
Speaking of diapers, Phil also took a photo that is responsible for one of my favorite Kelly Cutrone quotes. Cutrone takes one look at Phil’s photo from that time they tied white bed sheets around the contestants and threw paint on them for half an hour (in the name of fashion) - you know, this one:
And says, “I don’t like this photo, it makes me really uncomfortable. It’s like diaper palooza. It makes me never want to have a child again.” I love that. “Diaper palooza.” Thank you, Madam PR Maven! But, while I don’t disagree with the “diaper palooza” critique, I do think it’s unfair to single out Phil with this criticism. I mean, come on, are you looking at any of these photos? This whole concept was a diaper palooza with some paint literally thrown in!
Diapers! Diapers! EVERYONE IS IN DIAPERS!
I could go on and on about stupid photoshoots this cycle. I don’t mean to pinpoint Phil, but he is who this post is about, so...sorry Phil...this wasn’t your fault:
Above: Jesus gets his nails done and channels Scar from The Lion King.
Above: Phil pretends to want to make out with a remote control because fashion. (The remote control is very attracted to Phil’s Jack Sparrow eye make-up.)
Above: OK, so Phil was actually out of the running in the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Model by this point, but I wanted to post this photo anyway, because I love how over this Phil is. I feel like I’m looking into Chris Christie’s silently screaming eyes when I look at this photo. The main difference here is that that snake would make a much better president of the US than Donald Trump.
Well, sorry this pictures have been immortalized on the internet for all to see, Phil. I hope you at least take comfort in knowing that you were part of the team that gave us the ANTM gif we have all been waiting for:
Nothing can take that glory away.
Who are your favorite contestants?
izzy806
baratheonpilled
tangentwithtanner
discoholicmusic
gummygunk
