WHAT TO WEAR WHEN: Fleeing At Midnight From a Sinister Manor House
Attention, Gothic heroines! There are lots of ways to end up at Thornclutch Manor or Darkefall House or Corpseholt Priory or wherever â could have been a mysterious inheritance, an anonymous newspaper ad for a âgoverness of discretion,â or a whirlwind marriage to an enigmatic millionaire who always wears gloves. But chances are decent that, however you got to your personal sinister manor house, you are going to have to run away from it at some point. It will be a moonlit night, your hair will fall loose from its pins, and you will have to dash bitter tears from your eyes as you clamber over loose stones etc. Here are some ways to make the sartorial best of the inevitable!
Mesh. Itâs easy to be tempted by this on-trend bodycon staple, which might seem like a great way to show some heaving bosom without having to go full #freethenipple. However, those microweaves WILL snag on thorns, and there WILL be thorns. Carrying a bottle of clear nail polish may be one way to prevent runs, but who can say if youâll have time to apply it? Better to avoid the problem altogether.
Long Capes. Need we say more? You donât want to be stuck trying to free your dumb cape while your murderous husband, housekeeper or employerâs-demonic-ex descends on you. The skirt is going to be enough of a struggle by itself without adding an extra variable â although we confess weâre a sucker for flowing sleeves, as in these looks by Yulia Yanina. (Both also fail the mesh test, alas.) Short capes, however, are more than acceptable â peep this gorgeous Victorian-looking Zac Posen.
Stiletto or pin heels. These will sink directly into the swampy earth, and you will go with them. Try instead a set of sexy yet practical governess boots, or formal flats if youâre coming directly from a disastrous ball.
Heavy beading, sequins or embroidery. Why weigh yourself down? Besides, you donât want to leave a trail of sparkly breadcrumbs for your pursuers to follow.
Strapless necklines. We have seen a strapless gothic heroine look deployed effectively, but letâs be honest: we are not Rihanna, and you probably arenât either. (Although if you are, call us!!!) If you absolutely must go strapless, however, we canât endorse Hollywood Fashion Tape highly enough.
Black. We love an elegant black gown as much as if not more than the next person, but we donât think itâs ideal for this specific situation. You will blend into your surroundings and the entire effect will be lost. That said, weâre not ruling it out â just telegraphing our concerns.
Form-fitting skirts. However good they may look, this just isnât the moment for a mermaid, trumpet or sheath silhouette. Go for a full a-line or billowing ball skirt for optimal mobility. Sure, theyâre not exactly practical, but if you wanted to be practical youâd be jetting out of there in track shorts and Asics.
Actually, you know what, thatâs not a bad idea. If you really value your life over your aesthetic, put your sneakers on and get the f out. Just donât expect to make the cover of âTHE SECRET OF STORMCRAGGE HALLâ with that nonsense.
These might seem like a lot of restrictions, but in fact, they leave a lot of room for individual variation. After much debate, weâve chosen this absolutely stunning Jenny Packham negligee for its universally flattering shade, practical three-quarter sleeves and lovely liquid flow. Its adaptability also makes it a winner: did you just climb out of bed and throw a satin robe over your flimsy nightgown, or did you tear yourself straight from the dancefloor, and the arms of a grim-jawed stranger in a domino mask? Either way, you look incredible.Â
Shoe-wise weâve chosen these gorgeous Roger Vivier ballerinas â theyâre not exactly hardy, but theyâre too beautiful to resist. Accessorize with a delicate necklace â the cross pendant is a classic â and earrings that donât dangle too low, preferably <$50 so you wonât lose too much sleep if they fall off in a gorse thicket. We like these emerald-cut studs by Kate Spade â they come in multiple colors, so you can pick whichever best sets off your tearfully shining eyes.
(Close runner-ups: Maria Lucia Hohan, Ralph & Russo, Alexander McQueen.)
Roger Vivier flat shoes, $1,015 / Kate Spade stud earrings, $39 / JudeFrances pendants necklace, $1,475
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