What do you want?

Can't you see I'm busy? (Icon made by @casualculting)

[bertrumstrousers]

thinkin about how how bertrum survived not one, but two pandemics—scarlet fever during his childhood and the 1918 flu pandemic when he was in his late 30s

this boy washes his hands real well

[multi-level-shipper]

But what if like, the employees turned into what they wanted to be in a twisted way? Think about it: Bertrum: larger than life

Allison: “an angel” (morally sound)

Thomas: a protector

Joey: literally Bendy

Jack: alone

Lacie: sleeping

Susie: Alice (duh)

Norman: able to illuminate the truth in the darkness

Wally: reliable

Grant: dead

Shawn: fucked off into the ether 

Sammy: running around with his shirt off screaming about his personal issues

[moshileaf]

who says vanilla minecraft cant be pretty?

my finally semi-completed house on @honeyhollowmc

[bertrum-piedmont]

Happy birthday Bertrum!

Thank you.

[bertrum-piedmont]

How do you go to a ‘speakesy’???? Can you go to a loud too????-mary

Oh for -of all of the irresponsible happenings that could have occurred, you had to go and get yourself a malignant drink.

[bertrum-piedmont]

Hey dad where’s the hot scuce is? The rock person is back and I want to inflame his insides. -marry

...Mary, have you found a speakeasy? You're far too young to drink.

[bertrum-piedmont]

What do you think about Sammy from the music department?

In my professional opinion, the man is far too arrogant and self-righteous for his position. He may be the lead music writer, but that position does not give him the ability to be so ornery so often. Though I heard he used to be more charismatic, nowadays he seems to be on the verge of an angry meltdown. It doesn't help that he's drinking from that flask all the time. I have my suspicions about what he imbues, and it disgusts me that he would do so on the job.

[bertrum-piedmont]

I don't know if that was a flirt or not, because that kinda made me blush. I'm low on intelligence by the way because I haven't been interacting face to face with other people that often.

I. Why would I ever flirt with someone? The masses should recognize my splendor and realize I am far too good for any of them.

[bertrum-piedmont]

I admire you from a safe distance

The only safe way to admire someone as distinguished as myself, truly.

[bertrum-piedmont]

Juju on that beat lmao

I -is this some future joke I am far too refined to understand?

[tittytron]

tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb

[ironbound-oberon]

#if you’re wondering if this is for you #it’s probably for you

[lifeisaroughjourney]

If I have ever messaged you or messaged me and never heard from me again, I still consider us friends. I just suck

[bertrum-piedmont]

Are you good at removing pickle jars from hands ? I tried to mug this one guy and all I got out of it was a jar of pickles. And now my hand is stuck in the jar. Help

If you let go of the pickles, you’ll be able to remove your hand. The only thing keeping you stuck is your greed.

[bertrum-piedmont]

Are you happy ?

I...

...

Can anyone ever be truly and completely satisfied with their work? Is there not always a loftier peak to climb, a new goal to reach? To be happy is to be sated, to be content with plateauing.

[bertrum-piedmont]

What is your favorite snack?

I find you can’t go wrong with a good, hearty bowl of angel hair pasta. Combined with the right sauce, toppings, a healthy sprinkling of cheese, a side dish, and some wine, I can think of little else more delectable.

[bertrum-piedmont]

What's your greatest fear?

Isolation and rejection from my peers, a complete and utter reduction to irrelevance and obscurity.

What makes you think I would ever tell some stranger something as private and intimate as that?

[bertrum-piedmont]

Admires Bertrum's work* why aren't you famous?!?

I am famous -in the right communities. Just because my name hasn’t become a household staple yet doesn’t mean that I am just some... nobody.

[bertrum-piedmont]

Bertrum, you're great!! Why don't you socialize more? Is it because you prefer to have them crawl at your door in desperation instead?

Partially, yes.

However, I do admit that I must go out amongst the masses in order to promote wellbeing -and make sure people know of my work. For what use is an amusement park if no one goes to be amused?

Though in my loneliest moments, I remember that I have myself to keep me company.