Boo.

[berwickgossip]

the GIRLS - astoria, luna, arianna, rihannon... (i think that's it)

Astoria thinks she’s hot shit, doesn’t she? Oh, another demon with an attitude problem — could you be any more predictable? Luna’s giving me cavaties, she’s so sweet. It’s disgusting. Can someone please knock Arianna off of her high horse? Maybe Astoria can do it and maybe she can land on top her and maybe they’ll finally just fuck and get it over with. Rihannon is... well, I don’t know, because I haven’t heard anything special or even very interesting come out of her mouth. Step it up, princess.

[berwickgossip]

any opinions on the new people ? ~

Which ones, exactly? I don’t have all day to go through them all.

[berwickgossip]

have your thoughts on bri changed?

Meaning do I hate her? No, but I don’t hate anyone. I don’t particularly like her, but… I mean, she’s really fuckin’ annoying and is literally such a terrible person as a whole, but honestly, babycakes, who around here isn’t? Besides Patch, of course; he’s an angel both literally and figuratively. You’re all whiny little bitches, displacing your anger and complaining about everyone else. My job is to spread drama, but you lot do most of my work for me and for what? For attention? Pathetic. I’m the only one who can make catty and vain look good.

[berwickgossip]

can we talk about patch though?

Honey, we can always talk about Patch. Did you see how flirty he got last night? I could’ve sworn it was me who’d died and gone to heaven. Bri better watch out, ‘cause goregous and flattering is pretty much everyone’s type.

[berwickgossip]

everyone is missing and it's become sad. it's like an episode of dr. phil up in berwick

Oh, Anon, if only Dr. Phil were here. We sure as Hell could use him.

[berwickgossip]

where's jackass kelpy??? i mean jackson kelley??

Honestly; when will my husband return from war?

[berwickgossip]

Guess what; I’m still fuckin’ here. Much to your surprise, I’m sure. How about you fill me in on everything I may have missed?

[berwickgossip]

Don’t forget to check the person of the day and the ship of the day to see if you made the cut! Congrats to Malia for being the first babe to make it and a big round of applause to Veronica and Jackson’s dick for being chosen as well!

[berwickgossip]

I don't know how you feel but I hate Kaley and Veronica. Kaley is a walking airhead that's always too nice and Veronica is fake and rude to everyone without a penis.

I don’t hate anyone, Dollface; wastes too much energy. Kaley is adorable, but she is pretty fuckin’ stupid. I honestly cannot comprehend how she’s survived this long, especially with her terrible decision making skills. Okay, I can totally see where you’re coming from as far as Veronica is concerned. Honestly, she’s got this whole ‘high and mighty’ thing going on and it’s not nearly as cute as she thinks it is. If anything, it’s annoying, so if she’s really browsing through the available dick in town as you say she is, then she needs a reality check pronto.

[berwickgossip]

opinion on jane and graham separately

How do I even begin to explain Jane Barnes? Obviously, I’m joking because she’s dull as dishwater. Sure, she’s got, like, potential to be a nice person and she’s cute if you’re into that whole Catherine Hepburn thing, but she needs to do something other than flirt with Graham, who, by the way, seems almost as dirty as Duncan. Maybe it’s a ‘pasty-as-Elmer’s-Glue’ thing. Graham’s only redeeming quality is his dry humor and even that’s a stretch ‘cause it’s not like we don’t get enough of that around here.

[berwickgossip]

Is there anybody you think has a lot of potential?

Potential for... what, exactly?

[berwickgossip]

am i the only one who can't stand brianna?

No, I’m sure you’re not. I don’t hate her or anything, but, like, how do you fit so much self righteousness into such a tiny body?

[berwickgossip]

berwick goes down in flames and you can only save six people, three males and three females. who do you pick?

Easy. Checkers, Patch, Liam, Malia, Val and myself, for obvious reasons.

[berwickgossip]

What do you think of Val's twin Desdemona

They’re twins? I could’ve sworn that Destiny’s Child was at least five years older than Val. I mean, since when do crow’s feet scream nineteen?

[berwickgossip]

I'm DTF, don't worry.

Good to know.

[berwickgossip]

thoughts on alexei ?

He’s got that whole ‘scary ancient vampire’ thing going on, which is very sexy, but I wouldn’t wanna run into him in a dark alley.

[berwickgossip]

what are your thoughts on the following people: checkers, claude, kaley, veronica, val, liam, and mariana?

Checkers can be my knight in shining leather any day. Claude is honestly a nice guy, so I don’t really understand how he doesn’t have a boyfriend yet. Maybe it’s because he’s got that annoying habit of singing in the library. No one like a nuisance, Claude. Kaley doesn’t know what’s good for her. She can go on blabbing about sunshine and rainbows all she wants, but it won’t make it any better when she ends up a corpse in a bed of her own flowers. Veronica is a piece of work. You know how I said all the girls in this town have a superiority complex? Well, she’s at the top of that list. She talks all bad, but she’s just a bitch with everlasting life. Hoorah for us. Val is, in a word, confusing. Is she evil? Is she good? Is she DTF? We don’t really know with Val. Liam is literally such a puppy dog and if he’s looking to mate, then honestly, where do I sign up? Mariana... who? I’ve honestly never heard the name. Come out, come out, wherever you are.