You Dance, I'll Hold Your Stuff.

You Dance, I'll Hold Your Stuff I'm Sam, an older than you gay ftm guy composed entirely of rainbows, glitter, and optimistic cynicism. Glee was my show, yo. Still not over the fact that it's over. I'm in denial. I love Chris Colfer, Darren Criss, Klaine, Hamilton, Cats, Coffee, and skewering politicians I don't agree with. Oh, and Lin-Manuel Miranda is the most adorable being in the universe. I'm in danger of becoming a crazy cat lady blog though, if I'm honest. Seriously. You probably need to like cats to follow me guys. I write stuff. I've got a handy page with links and everything. There you will find a buttload of Klaine and ftm!Kurt fic. I HATE WANK. Please play nicely. I'm super friendly and love Asks and the like. I enjoy helping out fellow trans folks who might have questions about transitioning and stuff (and respectful questions from non-trans allies). Come say hello. :)

[bespectacledcolfer]

Morrissey has been my favourite artist since I was sixteen. (I’m old. Trust me, it’s been a LONG time.)

I’ve overlooked a lot of his behaviour in the past because of my adoration—ignored his vaguely nuts “quirkiness”.

No more. I am terribly sad, but I can’t support him any longer. In short? Fuck him and his racist ass.

[bespectacledcolfer]

I’m going to hell. Here’s why: I ship Bobby/Priest from 911.

[julesohara]

we need to sacrifice a tv show so b99 is never cancelled

[softpluto]

big bang theory it’s time to go

[slavicgalpal-deactivated2018011]

let 👏 bisexual 👏 girls 👏 love 👏 boys

[pomegranat-deactivated20170905]

what

[smellie-bongwater]

LET 👏 BISEXUAL 👏 GIRLS 👏 LOVE 👏 BOYS

[pomegranat-deactivated20170905]

who’s stopping them

[mouthgurl5]

Lesbians who say they’ll never date a girl that has touched a man. People that say bi girls will cheat because they’re bi. There’s so much biphobia not only with straight people, but in the gay community

[g0dtier]

my lesbian friends who told me they were “high-key disappointed” when i started dating a cishet boy. my ex girlfriend who asked me “wait weren’t you gay” and then when i explained i was bi went “um. ew lol”. the whole “gold star lesbian” bullshit. can we face the biphobia in the lgbt community instead of shoving it under the rug lol

[rosesastrology]

I’ve seen and reblogged this for the boy version as well, so it’s only fair if I do it for girls as well!!

[coffinsincrimson]

LET 👏 GIRLS 👏 LOVE 👏 WHOEVER 👏 THEY 👏 LOVE

[its-time-the-tale-were-told]

It was dark as I drove the point home… 

[bespectacledcolfer]

No Longer An MCU Virgin!!!

I watched Iron Man! I watched a Marvel thing! Eeeeeeeeeeeee. Now, do I watch them in chronological order or order of release? Everyone’s got a different opinion.

(Sorry to whomever answered me when I asked this a couple of weeks ago, I can’t find your reply.)

[distinguishedbaloney]

[reddit-tales]

What secret will you take to your grave?

In Dutch, when you boil an egg and then place it into cold water to make it easier to peel an egg, it’s called “to scare” the eggs.

One day when I was about 6 or 7, my mom asked me to “scare” the eggs. So, little joker I was, lifted the lid of the pan and yelled “BOOO!”

My mom cracked up and has been telling this story ever since, for over 20 years. She’s come to love the story and still truly thinks that I wanted to really “scare” the eggs. Truth is I knew what “scaring an egg” meant and only wanted to make her laugh because she was in a sad place and time back then.

It’s made her laugh for over 20 fucking years, that means it’s the best joke I’ve ever pulled off and I’d die before I’d let her find out I was just kidding.

[tom-nippleston]

I PUT THE HOUSECAT OUTSIDE FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES AS A JOKE AND HE COMES RUNNING IN WITH A SNAKE IN HIS MOUTH

[tom-nippleston]

OH SHIT THE SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE

[tom-nippleston]

THE SNAKE HAS GONE INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

[tom-nippleston]

SNAKE HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD IN A PANICKED, THROWING MOTION

[tom-nippleston]

“Fucking put me outside again, bitch. See what happens.” -My Asshole Cat

[schmoopernatural-deactivated201]

an epic saga

[darthmelyanna]

@ourladyoftheironmasque

[rainhann]

ok this is “earring magic ken” who was introduced in 1992 (and discontinued shortly thereafter)

basically mattel had done a survey and discovered that girls didn’t think ken was “cool” enough

SO someone had the bright idea to research coolness by sending people to raves which, at the time, were mostly hosted & attended by gay men. so they went to these raves and took notes on what the fashions were and finally landed on this outfit, mesh shirt & all 

this doll became the best selling ken doll in history, mostly because gay men bought it in droves. (many of them said his necklace was supposed to be a cockring) but mattel and a number of parents weren’t very amused and discontinued the doll 

[muffinsandmatriarchy]

OH MY GOD YOU’RE LEAVING OUT THE BEST PART

SO

MAGIC EARRING KEN. This bitch gay as HELL. supposedly the aforementioned rings on him are for “magic earrings” and clip on charms. These charms are advertised as totally COMPLETELY heterosexual, not gay at ALL, see there’s a Barbie that also has Magic Earring Action with clip on charms! Ken wears them to match, because he’s STRAIGHT

Here’s the issue: THERE IS NO MATCHING BARBIE. Magic Earring Ken is out here straight up wearing cock rings on his jacket with a thinly devised advertising ploy to make it SEEM not-gay. But it’s DEFINITELY GAY. (And if you’re thinking, why cock rings? Well way back in 1992 gay culture was HUGE on wearing cock rings, it was the in-style. Everyone who was gay wore one, even women; you sewed them to your leather jacket, and the placement indicated some of your sexual preference. In case you were wondering, Ken is a Bottom.)

AND IT GETS BETTER. Magic Earring Ken was on the shelves for six weeks before they pulled him. In that short amount of time? Magic Earring Ken became the BEST SELLING Barbie Doll Mattel has EVER SOLD. LET THAT SINK IN. SIX WEEKS. And now every time these wheezy old hetero windbag execs go to look at their sales board, they’re forever haunted by Magic Earring Ken at the top of their charts.

Gay as hell, Cock Ring Bottom Ken, the Best Selling Mattel Doll. Pride.

[harperjenkins]

please take the time out of your day to read about Magic Earring Ken™

[but-is-it-gay-tho]

gay history

[neilnevins-deactivated20240617]

I think now that we’re in 2017 we can stop villainizing the witch from Hänsel and Gretel. Some kids ate her house. She gets to eat them. It was a fair deal.

[hrmphfft]

counterpoint: Hänsel and Gretel were led out into the woods to starve at the urging of their mother, so both parents don’t have to ration any more food for them during hard times. Hänsel and Gretel were underfed and desperate, and when life gives you a gingerbread house in that state, you eat the windowsill and the front stoop and every gumdrop you can find.

conclusion: if the witch prompted the children to explain themselves she’d realize it was ultimately parents’ neglect that led them to this point.

solution: eat the parents. everyone wins!

[thebootybitchdragon]

Not the solution I was expecting, but honestly, yeah, it makes sense.

[bespectacledcolfer]

The Plague is passing! We survived! Thanks be to god.

[bespectacledcolfer]

So, there’s only been one episode of 911 but I can already sense a fandom coming on. Sign me up! I loved it.

[bespectacledcolfer]

I’m still here, there’s just a small case of The Plague at my house currently. Husband and I taking turns moaning and groaning on the couch.

I’m at the “put me out of my misery” phase of the illness. 2018 is on my nerves so far.

[danceinthedarkbyladygaga]

anyone who watched the first season of glee while it aired is a queer elder

[tashasilva]

My wish for every writer in 2018 is that you all finish every WIP you got lingering around.

May your words flow freely, may your characters come alive and may everyone love your finished story when they read it.

[greyofjakku]

this is a godsend - bless u 

[bespectacledcolfer]

I keep wanting to magically reach through the internet so I can punch Logan Paul in the face.