in this state, he’s unsure why his level of intoxication matters so much, not when it was only the truth that had breezed past his lips. a truth that is, sure, admittedly, a lot easier to come after a few drinks over the course of the night, but it held strong, nonetheless. he doesn’t allow himself to think about the alternative, either, that if his night hadn’t panned out in the way it had, he might not have worked up the courage to see her at all. that he would’ve retreated to his hotel room, each and every night, here, in the same city, yet completely unbeknownst to her. that familiar pang in his chest returns, from the mere thought of it, that their lives are moving in separate directions, rather than intertwined like they once were. it’s easy enough to forget, however, when she’s smiling at him like that, when he’s watching the shade of crimson spread across her cheeks, causing his heart to stutter in his chest, to skip a beat entirely, as a subtle smile of his own tugs at his features to match. “ only a little, ” he assures her, even though it’s clear he’s underestimating, based on the glassy look to his eyes, to the series of events he’d gotten himself caught up with tonight, now with the injuries to show for it. “ but that doesn’t mean i mean it any less. ” because he was being truthful; something that has failed him, the past few encounters they’d had. he can sense the shift in her, as she turns back around to face him; notices the change of expression on her face, no longer with a smile, or flushed cheeks. it causes him to shift in his chair, for his shoulders to become taut, as that word is thrown around— lie. they’d both done their fair share of that, hadn’t they? his shoulders roll into a shrug, as his gaze follows her, taking her in at this angle, even as his eyes narrow in the slightest. “ no? you just lie to me about other things, then? ” and it wasn’t fair, not in the slightest, but it slips out before he can think any more of it, before he can think further about how she looked, opening her front door to him, tonight. that familiar ache in his chest makes a reappearance, remembering how she used to look that way when they were together, when he used to be the one to pull that from her. still, he nods, to say yes, that she looked happy, to say that he missed seeing that from her. the ache deepens, however, at her words, feeling his head drop, as they settle in the air between them— finally. “ finally, ” he echoes, needing to say it aloud, for it to solidify. wants to ask what had changed, since the last time they saw one another, if he’d really given her the push to move on, like he’d insisted. “ so, what— you’re like, in love with him now, or something? ” that wasn’t fair of him to ask either, not really, but it slips out regardless, trying to keep his face unreadable as she sits down beside him, tries to ignore the slight tremble in his hands, at the mere thought of it. there’s a lump in his throat, one that he can’t swallow away, angling his head to face her. “ right, yeah… no, you’re right. it shouldn’t matter, ” and yet it does— it always has. “ is that what you wanted me to do, then? get to know him? ”
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